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November 1, 2009 at 10:25 PM #477269November 1, 2009 at 10:29 PM #476436CoronitaParticipant
[quote=CA renter][quote=flu]
That said, I think the biggest problems in a marriage occur when the respective roles aren’t well defined. And when either or both parent aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the family. Or when the other parent doesn’t appreciate sacrifices made from the other parent.[/quote]You nailed it…especially the last two sentences, IMHO.[/quote]
The thing is this thing really really can start a small problem and cascade into bigger problems. For example, let’s say you have a couple Spouse A and Spouse B.
Spouse A likes it clean. Spouse B is a packrat.
Spouse A comfort level is that house is kept clean, so Spouse A picks up and cleans up. Spouse B doesn’t give a shit and after playing with Kid A, leaves the room an utterly complete mess. Spouse A then comes back and says WTF and picks up and puts things away, asking hey Spouse B, next time can you help straighten out a bit. I like it clean(er) and can you at least try to give me a little respect and help. Spouse B gives the middle figure and says, it’s not a big deal, just pick it up yourself. Spouse A then thinks, fine if you don’t give a shit about that, I won’t help you do something else like give kid bath. Spouse B then says WTF why aren’t you helping me? And pretty soon, it spirals out of control.And when it comes time to a big big problem, you might then end up in a situation in which Spouse B ends up giving you the big middle finger for something big, that you, no matter how hard you try, will just never ever be able to forget…..Like i said, it’s all about respect, and it starts at the littlest thing. If you can’t even pitch in the smallest things, I’m sorry, you and your spouse have a long long road to travel.November 1, 2009 at 10:29 PM #476613CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter][quote=flu]
That said, I think the biggest problems in a marriage occur when the respective roles aren’t well defined. And when either or both parent aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the family. Or when the other parent doesn’t appreciate sacrifices made from the other parent.[/quote]You nailed it…especially the last two sentences, IMHO.[/quote]
The thing is this thing really really can start a small problem and cascade into bigger problems. For example, let’s say you have a couple Spouse A and Spouse B.
Spouse A likes it clean. Spouse B is a packrat.
Spouse A comfort level is that house is kept clean, so Spouse A picks up and cleans up. Spouse B doesn’t give a shit and after playing with Kid A, leaves the room an utterly complete mess. Spouse A then comes back and says WTF and picks up and puts things away, asking hey Spouse B, next time can you help straighten out a bit. I like it clean(er) and can you at least try to give me a little respect and help. Spouse B gives the middle figure and says, it’s not a big deal, just pick it up yourself. Spouse A then thinks, fine if you don’t give a shit about that, I won’t help you do something else like give kid bath. Spouse B then says WTF why aren’t you helping me? And pretty soon, it spirals out of control.And when it comes time to a big big problem, you might then end up in a situation in which Spouse B ends up giving you the big middle finger for something big, that you, no matter how hard you try, will just never ever be able to forget…..Like i said, it’s all about respect, and it starts at the littlest thing. If you can’t even pitch in the smallest things, I’m sorry, you and your spouse have a long long road to travel.November 1, 2009 at 10:29 PM #476972CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter][quote=flu]
That said, I think the biggest problems in a marriage occur when the respective roles aren’t well defined. And when either or both parent aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the family. Or when the other parent doesn’t appreciate sacrifices made from the other parent.[/quote]You nailed it…especially the last two sentences, IMHO.[/quote]
The thing is this thing really really can start a small problem and cascade into bigger problems. For example, let’s say you have a couple Spouse A and Spouse B.
Spouse A likes it clean. Spouse B is a packrat.
Spouse A comfort level is that house is kept clean, so Spouse A picks up and cleans up. Spouse B doesn’t give a shit and after playing with Kid A, leaves the room an utterly complete mess. Spouse A then comes back and says WTF and picks up and puts things away, asking hey Spouse B, next time can you help straighten out a bit. I like it clean(er) and can you at least try to give me a little respect and help. Spouse B gives the middle figure and says, it’s not a big deal, just pick it up yourself. Spouse A then thinks, fine if you don’t give a shit about that, I won’t help you do something else like give kid bath. Spouse B then says WTF why aren’t you helping me? And pretty soon, it spirals out of control.And when it comes time to a big big problem, you might then end up in a situation in which Spouse B ends up giving you the big middle finger for something big, that you, no matter how hard you try, will just never ever be able to forget…..Like i said, it’s all about respect, and it starts at the littlest thing. If you can’t even pitch in the smallest things, I’m sorry, you and your spouse have a long long road to travel.November 1, 2009 at 10:29 PM #477052CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter][quote=flu]
That said, I think the biggest problems in a marriage occur when the respective roles aren’t well defined. And when either or both parent aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the family. Or when the other parent doesn’t appreciate sacrifices made from the other parent.[/quote]You nailed it…especially the last two sentences, IMHO.[/quote]
The thing is this thing really really can start a small problem and cascade into bigger problems. For example, let’s say you have a couple Spouse A and Spouse B.
Spouse A likes it clean. Spouse B is a packrat.
Spouse A comfort level is that house is kept clean, so Spouse A picks up and cleans up. Spouse B doesn’t give a shit and after playing with Kid A, leaves the room an utterly complete mess. Spouse A then comes back and says WTF and picks up and puts things away, asking hey Spouse B, next time can you help straighten out a bit. I like it clean(er) and can you at least try to give me a little respect and help. Spouse B gives the middle figure and says, it’s not a big deal, just pick it up yourself. Spouse A then thinks, fine if you don’t give a shit about that, I won’t help you do something else like give kid bath. Spouse B then says WTF why aren’t you helping me? And pretty soon, it spirals out of control.And when it comes time to a big big problem, you might then end up in a situation in which Spouse B ends up giving you the big middle finger for something big, that you, no matter how hard you try, will just never ever be able to forget…..Like i said, it’s all about respect, and it starts at the littlest thing. If you can’t even pitch in the smallest things, I’m sorry, you and your spouse have a long long road to travel.November 1, 2009 at 10:29 PM #477274CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter][quote=flu]
That said, I think the biggest problems in a marriage occur when the respective roles aren’t well defined. And when either or both parent aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the greater good of the family. Or when the other parent doesn’t appreciate sacrifices made from the other parent.[/quote]You nailed it…especially the last two sentences, IMHO.[/quote]
The thing is this thing really really can start a small problem and cascade into bigger problems. For example, let’s say you have a couple Spouse A and Spouse B.
Spouse A likes it clean. Spouse B is a packrat.
Spouse A comfort level is that house is kept clean, so Spouse A picks up and cleans up. Spouse B doesn’t give a shit and after playing with Kid A, leaves the room an utterly complete mess. Spouse A then comes back and says WTF and picks up and puts things away, asking hey Spouse B, next time can you help straighten out a bit. I like it clean(er) and can you at least try to give me a little respect and help. Spouse B gives the middle figure and says, it’s not a big deal, just pick it up yourself. Spouse A then thinks, fine if you don’t give a shit about that, I won’t help you do something else like give kid bath. Spouse B then says WTF why aren’t you helping me? And pretty soon, it spirals out of control.And when it comes time to a big big problem, you might then end up in a situation in which Spouse B ends up giving you the big middle finger for something big, that you, no matter how hard you try, will just never ever be able to forget…..Like i said, it’s all about respect, and it starts at the littlest thing. If you can’t even pitch in the smallest things, I’m sorry, you and your spouse have a long long road to travel.November 1, 2009 at 10:31 PM #476441CA renterParticipantOnce again, you pretty much nailed it.
November 1, 2009 at 10:31 PM #476618CA renterParticipantOnce again, you pretty much nailed it.
November 1, 2009 at 10:31 PM #476977CA renterParticipantOnce again, you pretty much nailed it.
November 1, 2009 at 10:31 PM #477056CA renterParticipantOnce again, you pretty much nailed it.
November 1, 2009 at 10:31 PM #477279CA renterParticipantOnce again, you pretty much nailed it.
November 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM #476446CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter]Once again, you pretty much nailed it.[/quote]
You keep cutting me off π
Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s about willingness to change, be selfishless, and be willing to make sacrifices/commitments for the other person. And it takes both people to do it. If you aren’t willing to do those things for that specific person, don’t get married. And if you are willing to do those things, you better make damn sure the other person is too, because if that person isn’t willing to do that for you, don’t get married. Nothing worse going into a marriage thinking you don’t have to make changes, except possibly going into a marriage for which you’re the only one willing to make the changes. That rule applies to americans and foreign born.
The reason why more marriages are probably failing in modern times is people over the years have gotten considerably more self centered and selfish throughout the years. Just look at how things are. It’s the epitome of the baby boomers, much more a problem in Generation X’s, and culminates in the Millinium generation. Everything is about me me me. My house value is falling, my fancy car, my golden parachute. The days of social conscientiousness are over. I have not ever met a single person that isn’t realative who sincerely is a selfishless person. Maybe just my damn unluck…But I just haven’t.
November 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM #476622CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter]Once again, you pretty much nailed it.[/quote]
You keep cutting me off π
Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s about willingness to change, be selfishless, and be willing to make sacrifices/commitments for the other person. And it takes both people to do it. If you aren’t willing to do those things for that specific person, don’t get married. And if you are willing to do those things, you better make damn sure the other person is too, because if that person isn’t willing to do that for you, don’t get married. Nothing worse going into a marriage thinking you don’t have to make changes, except possibly going into a marriage for which you’re the only one willing to make the changes. That rule applies to americans and foreign born.
The reason why more marriages are probably failing in modern times is people over the years have gotten considerably more self centered and selfish throughout the years. Just look at how things are. It’s the epitome of the baby boomers, much more a problem in Generation X’s, and culminates in the Millinium generation. Everything is about me me me. My house value is falling, my fancy car, my golden parachute. The days of social conscientiousness are over. I have not ever met a single person that isn’t realative who sincerely is a selfishless person. Maybe just my damn unluck…But I just haven’t.
November 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM #476982CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter]Once again, you pretty much nailed it.[/quote]
You keep cutting me off π
Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s about willingness to change, be selfishless, and be willing to make sacrifices/commitments for the other person. And it takes both people to do it. If you aren’t willing to do those things for that specific person, don’t get married. And if you are willing to do those things, you better make damn sure the other person is too, because if that person isn’t willing to do that for you, don’t get married. Nothing worse going into a marriage thinking you don’t have to make changes, except possibly going into a marriage for which you’re the only one willing to make the changes. That rule applies to americans and foreign born.
The reason why more marriages are probably failing in modern times is people over the years have gotten considerably more self centered and selfish throughout the years. Just look at how things are. It’s the epitome of the baby boomers, much more a problem in Generation X’s, and culminates in the Millinium generation. Everything is about me me me. My house value is falling, my fancy car, my golden parachute. The days of social conscientiousness are over. I have not ever met a single person that isn’t realative who sincerely is a selfishless person. Maybe just my damn unluck…But I just haven’t.
November 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM #477061CoronitaParticipant[quote=CA renter]Once again, you pretty much nailed it.[/quote]
You keep cutting me off π
Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s about willingness to change, be selfishless, and be willing to make sacrifices/commitments for the other person. And it takes both people to do it. If you aren’t willing to do those things for that specific person, don’t get married. And if you are willing to do those things, you better make damn sure the other person is too, because if that person isn’t willing to do that for you, don’t get married. Nothing worse going into a marriage thinking you don’t have to make changes, except possibly going into a marriage for which you’re the only one willing to make the changes. That rule applies to americans and foreign born.
The reason why more marriages are probably failing in modern times is people over the years have gotten considerably more self centered and selfish throughout the years. Just look at how things are. It’s the epitome of the baby boomers, much more a problem in Generation X’s, and culminates in the Millinium generation. Everything is about me me me. My house value is falling, my fancy car, my golden parachute. The days of social conscientiousness are over. I have not ever met a single person that isn’t realative who sincerely is a selfishless person. Maybe just my damn unluck…But I just haven’t.
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