OT – Whitman Hired Illegal Worker

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=briansd1]Allan, I do wholeheartedly agree that the two party system is dysfunctional and badly in need of an overhaul.

However, both sides are not equal. I still believe that there is a qualitative difference between the two sides.

At a time when we should be working together, one side is a maligning a good woman Elizabeth Warren, opposing the President’s community college initiative (supported by the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation), and offering up alternatives such as Palin and O’Donnell. We’ve reached a new level of nuttiness, IMHO.

I know that you’re not a big fan of NPR or PBS. But there is a qualitative difference between public broadcasting and Fox and the private radio stations that carry Rush Limbaugh.

*

BTW, operating within the system to get rich is not anathema to being socially conscious and doing right by society. For example Louis Brandeis became a multi-millionaire but he also worked hard for social advancement.[/quote]

Brian: Are you assuming that, since I’m a conservaitve, I don’t like NPR and PBS, or have I come out in the past and said that? I don’t recall ever saying that, and I do like NPR and PBS, if for no other reason than they offer an intelligent (for the most part) counterpoint to some of my beliefs.

And, I have no issue with Pelosi’s money, in the same way that I have no issue with Whitman’s. No, my point is that Nancy Pelosi is a hypocrite, in that she espouses support for unions, immigration reform and environmental causes and then turns around and engages in personal behavior that is the exact opposite of her stated position.

As far as Brandeis, or Carnegie, or Morgan, or Stanford or any other members of the All-American Plutocrats League go: I don’t doubt that one can do well by doing good. We’ll have to overlook the racism, anti-Semitism, nativism, etc of those dudes, but there’s no getting around the social good they performed.

There is a huge difference between SMALLER government and NO government. I’m all for the former, not the latter. It comes down to what we can truly afford and what is truly necessary. I’d also draw your attention to the upcoming Swedish elections and what that election means for the “Swedish Model”, long held by the left to be the world standard for a balanced socialist system. The Swedes, along with the Danes, Finns and Norwegians, are realizing that this type of model is unsustainable and are moving towards a center-right system of government. So what you’re seeing is a realization, from countries far to the left of the US, that the model is unsustainable and change is inevitable.

The same argument holds for the US, too. Smaller, more effective and more affordable government. Not the complete elimination of government, mind you, just one that we can afford and one that works in the best interests of the citizens footing the bill.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Eavesdropper: You’re getting a little ahead of yourself here, Sunshine. Before you start handing out jobs, willy-nilly, I think we should form an executive group first. [/quote]

I’m a woman, Alan. Willy-nilly is what I do. Although I’m looking at things a little differently ever since reading “Going Rogue” last spring (all forty-two pages of it. Twice! And, yeah, pictures do so count.) I prefer to term my impulsive offer to Scaredy as “estrogen deficiency-induced decisive executive action.”

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Actually, I think we should form a junta (or a cabal; I’ve always wanted to be part of a cabal) and start appointing various minions, cohorts and henchpersons. [/quote] Alan, given your education, background, and professional experience, and keeping in mind your breathtaking linguistic skills, I feel confident in leaving the nomenclature up to you. However, I wanted to be sure that said appointment-making will require all appointees to submit tastefully understated white linen envelopes stuffed with cash. Mama needs a new pair of leather chaps since my last pair suffered third-degree burns on hot exhaust.

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] For the record, I have no issue with Scaredy being in charge of HR, although I remain concerned about his various, changing monikers. That might presage some sort of psychotic break with reality….[/quote]

Hell, this is a daily occurrence in Congress, and those people still manage to hold on to their jobs.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Eavesdropper: You’re getting a little ahead of yourself here, Sunshine. Before you start handing out jobs, willy-nilly, I think we should form an executive group first. [/quote]

I’m a woman, Alan. Willy-nilly is what I do. Although I’m looking at things a little differently ever since reading “Going Rogue” last spring (all forty-two pages of it. Twice! And, yeah, pictures do so count.) I prefer to term my impulsive offer to Scaredy as “estrogen deficiency-induced decisive executive action.”

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Actually, I think we should form a junta (or a cabal; I’ve always wanted to be part of a cabal) and start appointing various minions, cohorts and henchpersons. [/quote] Alan, given your education, background, and professional experience, and keeping in mind your breathtaking linguistic skills, I feel confident in leaving the nomenclature up to you. However, I wanted to be sure that said appointment-making will require all appointees to submit tastefully understated white linen envelopes stuffed with cash. Mama needs a new pair of leather chaps since my last pair suffered third-degree burns on hot exhaust.

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] For the record, I have no issue with Scaredy being in charge of HR, although I remain concerned about his various, changing monikers. That might presage some sort of psychotic break with reality….[/quote]

Hell, this is a daily occurrence in Congress, and those people still manage to hold on to their jobs.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Eavesdropper: You’re getting a little ahead of yourself here, Sunshine. Before you start handing out jobs, willy-nilly, I think we should form an executive group first. [/quote]

I’m a woman, Alan. Willy-nilly is what I do. Although I’m looking at things a little differently ever since reading “Going Rogue” last spring (all forty-two pages of it. Twice! And, yeah, pictures do so count.) I prefer to term my impulsive offer to Scaredy as “estrogen deficiency-induced decisive executive action.”

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Actually, I think we should form a junta (or a cabal; I’ve always wanted to be part of a cabal) and start appointing various minions, cohorts and henchpersons. [/quote] Alan, given your education, background, and professional experience, and keeping in mind your breathtaking linguistic skills, I feel confident in leaving the nomenclature up to you. However, I wanted to be sure that said appointment-making will require all appointees to submit tastefully understated white linen envelopes stuffed with cash. Mama needs a new pair of leather chaps since my last pair suffered third-degree burns on hot exhaust.

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] For the record, I have no issue with Scaredy being in charge of HR, although I remain concerned about his various, changing monikers. That might presage some sort of psychotic break with reality….[/quote]

Hell, this is a daily occurrence in Congress, and those people still manage to hold on to their jobs.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Eavesdropper: You’re getting a little ahead of yourself here, Sunshine. Before you start handing out jobs, willy-nilly, I think we should form an executive group first. [/quote]

I’m a woman, Alan. Willy-nilly is what I do. Although I’m looking at things a little differently ever since reading “Going Rogue” last spring (all forty-two pages of it. Twice! And, yeah, pictures do so count.) I prefer to term my impulsive offer to Scaredy as “estrogen deficiency-induced decisive executive action.”

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Actually, I think we should form a junta (or a cabal; I’ve always wanted to be part of a cabal) and start appointing various minions, cohorts and henchpersons. [/quote] Alan, given your education, background, and professional experience, and keeping in mind your breathtaking linguistic skills, I feel confident in leaving the nomenclature up to you. However, I wanted to be sure that said appointment-making will require all appointees to submit tastefully understated white linen envelopes stuffed with cash. Mama needs a new pair of leather chaps since my last pair suffered third-degree burns on hot exhaust.

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] For the record, I have no issue with Scaredy being in charge of HR, although I remain concerned about his various, changing monikers. That might presage some sort of psychotic break with reality….[/quote]

Hell, this is a daily occurrence in Congress, and those people still manage to hold on to their jobs.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Eavesdropper: You’re getting a little ahead of yourself here, Sunshine. Before you start handing out jobs, willy-nilly, I think we should form an executive group first. [/quote]

I’m a woman, Alan. Willy-nilly is what I do. Although I’m looking at things a little differently ever since reading “Going Rogue” last spring (all forty-two pages of it. Twice! And, yeah, pictures do so count.) I prefer to term my impulsive offer to Scaredy as “estrogen deficiency-induced decisive executive action.”

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] Actually, I think we should form a junta (or a cabal; I’ve always wanted to be part of a cabal) and start appointing various minions, cohorts and henchpersons. [/quote] Alan, given your education, background, and professional experience, and keeping in mind your breathtaking linguistic skills, I feel confident in leaving the nomenclature up to you. However, I wanted to be sure that said appointment-making will require all appointees to submit tastefully understated white linen envelopes stuffed with cash. Mama needs a new pair of leather chaps since my last pair suffered third-degree burns on hot exhaust.

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook] For the record, I have no issue with Scaredy being in charge of HR, although I remain concerned about his various, changing monikers. That might presage some sort of psychotic break with reality….[/quote]

Hell, this is a daily occurrence in Congress, and those people still manage to hold on to their jobs.

[eavesdropper]

[quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .

[eavesdropper]

[quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .

[eavesdropper]

[quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .

[eavesdropper]

[quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .

[eavesdropper]

[quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .

[Coronita]

[quote=eavesdropper][quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .[/quote]

Hm….On second thought… Hiring people to screw in lightbulbs could be expensive….

I mean, first we would need to hire a trainer to teach the proper way of screwing in a lightbulb.
Things that are educational in value like clockwise to tighten, counter-clockwise to loosen…Err…scratch that…I mean “righty->tighty…lefty->loosey….”

Then we would need to have someone fabricate warning label stickers per CA law to warn users that “This contents of the light bulb socket is known to made of things that the State of California deems could cause cancer”..

We would also need to make labels and stickers on the light bulb socket to warn installers that the socket contains live electricity, and that one should not stick their finger, tongue or other body parts into the socket. If we don’t, we could be sued for negligence.

We would need to hire someone else to affix these warning labels onto the socket, because you can’t have the same person screwing in the lightbulb doing the same job (union rules).

And then we would need to get workers comp insurance, just in case the sticker people slip and fall off the ladder.

And chances are, we now need to also fund 80% of a pension, provide PPO medical/dental/vision, and a company car to each person.

Hmmm… You know what. On second thought. Let’s not use lightbulbs. We’ll just buy a bunch of flashlights from China and pass them out. Since the folks we hired to screw in lightbulbs can’t be laid off, we’ll just send them home with pay while we idle the office with the lightbulb sockets. We’ll save money by not turning on those lights and using flashlights instead (forget about the salary we still have to pay the idle workers). We also might get lead and cadmium poisoning from when the batteries in the flashlights leak, but we won’t feel the full effect until years later anyway.

[Coronita]

[quote=eavesdropper][quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .[/quote]

Hm….On second thought… Hiring people to screw in lightbulbs could be expensive….

I mean, first we would need to hire a trainer to teach the proper way of screwing in a lightbulb.
Things that are educational in value like clockwise to tighten, counter-clockwise to loosen…Err…scratch that…I mean “righty->tighty…lefty->loosey….”

Then we would need to have someone fabricate warning label stickers per CA law to warn users that “This contents of the light bulb socket is known to made of things that the State of California deems could cause cancer”..

We would also need to make labels and stickers on the light bulb socket to warn installers that the socket contains live electricity, and that one should not stick their finger, tongue or other body parts into the socket. If we don’t, we could be sued for negligence.

We would need to hire someone else to affix these warning labels onto the socket, because you can’t have the same person screwing in the lightbulb doing the same job (union rules).

And then we would need to get workers comp insurance, just in case the sticker people slip and fall off the ladder.

And chances are, we now need to also fund 80% of a pension, provide PPO medical/dental/vision, and a company car to each person.

Hmmm… You know what. On second thought. Let’s not use lightbulbs. We’ll just buy a bunch of flashlights from China and pass them out. Since the folks we hired to screw in lightbulbs can’t be laid off, we’ll just send them home with pay while we idle the office with the lightbulb sockets. We’ll save money by not turning on those lights and using flashlights instead (forget about the salary we still have to pay the idle workers). We also might get lead and cadmium poisoning from when the batteries in the flashlights leak, but we won’t feel the full effect until years later anyway.

[Coronita]

[quote=eavesdropper][quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .[/quote]

Hm….On second thought… Hiring people to screw in lightbulbs could be expensive….

I mean, first we would need to hire a trainer to teach the proper way of screwing in a lightbulb.
Things that are educational in value like clockwise to tighten, counter-clockwise to loosen…Err…scratch that…I mean “righty->tighty…lefty->loosey….”

Then we would need to have someone fabricate warning label stickers per CA law to warn users that “This contents of the light bulb socket is known to made of things that the State of California deems could cause cancer”..

We would also need to make labels and stickers on the light bulb socket to warn installers that the socket contains live electricity, and that one should not stick their finger, tongue or other body parts into the socket. If we don’t, we could be sued for negligence.

We would need to hire someone else to affix these warning labels onto the socket, because you can’t have the same person screwing in the lightbulb doing the same job (union rules).

And then we would need to get workers comp insurance, just in case the sticker people slip and fall off the ladder.

And chances are, we now need to also fund 80% of a pension, provide PPO medical/dental/vision, and a company car to each person.

Hmmm… You know what. On second thought. Let’s not use lightbulbs. We’ll just buy a bunch of flashlights from China and pass them out. Since the folks we hired to screw in lightbulbs can’t be laid off, we’ll just send them home with pay while we idle the office with the lightbulb sockets. We’ll save money by not turning on those lights and using flashlights instead (forget about the salary we still have to pay the idle workers). We also might get lead and cadmium poisoning from when the batteries in the flashlights leak, but we won’t feel the full effect until years later anyway.

[Coronita]

[quote=eavesdropper][quote=flu] Can I be in charge of the Worker’s Union Advocacy Group and Task Force for Fair Compensation (WUAGTFFC)? My first call to action would be to put in place the following efficient management structure to manage 5 people to do the actual work….

1 shift supervisor
1 shift supervisor’s supervisor
1 associate project manager
1 associate program manager
1 senior project manager
1 senior program manager
1 director of operations that both the senior project manager and program manager report to
I’m fine with the director of operations reporting to me.

I have no idea yet what the actual 5 people will be working on. But I’m confident that regardless of the work, we need 5 people to do the actual work, and the aforementioned efficient management team (EMT) to manage tasks such as encouraging 5 people to think of ideas of what movie/show to make, screwing in lightbulbs, etc.

Also, while we are at it, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss when we should have the next meeting to discuss how we should plan to run a business at the next meeting.

Thank you for your cooperation…

-Flu,
VP of Union Affairs[/quote]

Work? WORK?!? Who said anything about work?

Do you realize what it’s going to cost us to hire workers that are capable of working? We’re a fledgling small business, and once the elections are over, Congress will go back to giving small businesses the finger – and a bipartisan one, at that. No, we can only afford to hire workers who are incapable of working.

This is an important distinction, flu. As the VP of Union Affairs, you’ll be expected to make those distinctions, and also handle all of the boring business stuff that the remainder of the cabal are too busy, dumb, or bored to handle. For the forseeable future, this may include changing lightbulbs. Be sure to check on the latest directive from Washington, DC, on what size and type of bulbs area approved for use.

Given enough time, we can manage to screw up the company enough to ensure that the government bails us out. Rest assured that I have consulted the latest actuarial tables and the National Enquirer horoscope column to determine the precise month and year for this, so as to have contracts drawn up guaranteeing that all company execs and board members receive their performance-based bonuses after we’ve been fired .[/quote]

Hm….On second thought… Hiring people to screw in lightbulbs could be expensive….

I mean, first we would need to hire a trainer to teach the proper way of screwing in a lightbulb.
Things that are educational in value like clockwise to tighten, counter-clockwise to loosen…Err…scratch that…I mean “righty->tighty…lefty->loosey….”

Then we would need to have someone fabricate warning label stickers per CA law to warn users that “This contents of the light bulb socket is known to made of things that the State of California deems could cause cancer”..

We would also need to make labels and stickers on the light bulb socket to warn installers that the socket contains live electricity, and that one should not stick their finger, tongue or other body parts into the socket. If we don’t, we could be sued for negligence.

We would need to hire someone else to affix these warning labels onto the socket, because you can’t have the same person screwing in the lightbulb doing the same job (union rules).

And then we would need to get workers comp insurance, just in case the sticker people slip and fall off the ladder.

And chances are, we now need to also fund 80% of a pension, provide PPO medical/dental/vision, and a company car to each person.

Hmmm… You know what. On second thought. Let’s not use lightbulbs. We’ll just buy a bunch of flashlights from China and pass them out. Since the folks we hired to screw in lightbulbs can’t be laid off, we’ll just send them home with pay while we idle the office with the lightbulb sockets. We’ll save money by not turning on those lights and using flashlights instead (forget about the salary we still have to pay the idle workers). We also might get lead and cadmium poisoning from when the batteries in the flashlights leak, but we won’t feel the full effect until years later anyway.

[Author]

Posts