OT: how disruptive is for kids to change school districts?

[Ren]

Yup, it isn’t about getting the kids’ permission. I’ll probably be more strict with mine than most parents. It’s about being empathetic with them. Their emotional well-being is more important to me than an extra 10 minutes added to my commute.

A lot of variables go into a decision like that, but I would personally lean heavily toward stability for them, and we’re willing to work a little harder for it if needed.

[Scarlett]

Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)

Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?

[Scarlett]

Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)

Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?

[Scarlett]

Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)

Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?

[Scarlett]

Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)

Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?

[Scarlett]

Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)

Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?

[svelte]

[quote=UCGal]My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)[/quote]

Quote above is spot on.

I was a military brat and saw the above in myself and my friends. Moving in elementary or middle school? No problem. But don’t mess with a kid’s high school friend network or you’re asking for trouble. And often, they pick a rougher crowd to hang with at the new HS.

[svelte]

[quote=UCGal]My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)[/quote]

Quote above is spot on.

I was a military brat and saw the above in myself and my friends. Moving in elementary or middle school? No problem. But don’t mess with a kid’s high school friend network or you’re asking for trouble. And often, they pick a rougher crowd to hang with at the new HS.

[svelte]

[quote=UCGal]My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)[/quote]

Quote above is spot on.

I was a military brat and saw the above in myself and my friends. Moving in elementary or middle school? No problem. But don’t mess with a kid’s high school friend network or you’re asking for trouble. And often, they pick a rougher crowd to hang with at the new HS.

[svelte]

[quote=UCGal]My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)[/quote]

Quote above is spot on.

I was a military brat and saw the above in myself and my friends. Moving in elementary or middle school? No problem. But don’t mess with a kid’s high school friend network or you’re asking for trouble. And often, they pick a rougher crowd to hang with at the new HS.

[svelte]

[quote=UCGal]My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)[/quote]

Quote above is spot on.

I was a military brat and saw the above in myself and my friends. Moving in elementary or middle school? No problem. But don’t mess with a kid’s high school friend network or you’re asking for trouble. And often, they pick a rougher crowd to hang with at the new HS.

[Ren]

[quote=Scarlett]Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)[/quote]

Like realtors here have said, sometimes even neighborhoods that are only a few streets apart have a completely different feel to them. Personally, I’m going to attempt to make sure there are many areas in the same district that appeal to me, and I’m starting the research now, 2 years ahead of time. If I buy a house and the neighborhood turns out to be a complete freak show, I want a way out that won’t involve changing schools.

[quote]Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?[/quote]

This is why I’m giving the neighborhood selection very nearly as much consideration as the school district. If I can’t find several suitable neighborhoods in my first choice of district, then I’ll look at neighborhoods in my second choice of disctrict.

Of course you have to draw the line somewhere, but we also want to be in a position where finances won’t be a big part of the equation. If someone offers me a job 50 miles away with a 20% raise, it shouldn’t even be tempting, because we won’t need it.

There are some extreme opinions on how much consideration shoud be given to a child’s feelings. My wife thinks that as soon as we had them, our lives became ALL about them. Some will treat their kids as they were treated, like just so much baggage, which is sad. I’m somewhere between the two – kids are people, too, but that doesn’t mean we cease to be important as adults.

[Ren]

[quote=Scarlett]Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)[/quote]

Like realtors here have said, sometimes even neighborhoods that are only a few streets apart have a completely different feel to them. Personally, I’m going to attempt to make sure there are many areas in the same district that appeal to me, and I’m starting the research now, 2 years ahead of time. If I buy a house and the neighborhood turns out to be a complete freak show, I want a way out that won’t involve changing schools.

[quote]Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?[/quote]

This is why I’m giving the neighborhood selection very nearly as much consideration as the school district. If I can’t find several suitable neighborhoods in my first choice of district, then I’ll look at neighborhoods in my second choice of disctrict.

Of course you have to draw the line somewhere, but we also want to be in a position where finances won’t be a big part of the equation. If someone offers me a job 50 miles away with a 20% raise, it shouldn’t even be tempting, because we won’t need it.

There are some extreme opinions on how much consideration shoud be given to a child’s feelings. My wife thinks that as soon as we had them, our lives became ALL about them. Some will treat their kids as they were treated, like just so much baggage, which is sad. I’m somewhere between the two – kids are people, too, but that doesn’t mean we cease to be important as adults.

[Ren]

[quote=Scarlett]Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)[/quote]

Like realtors here have said, sometimes even neighborhoods that are only a few streets apart have a completely different feel to them. Personally, I’m going to attempt to make sure there are many areas in the same district that appeal to me, and I’m starting the research now, 2 years ahead of time. If I buy a house and the neighborhood turns out to be a complete freak show, I want a way out that won’t involve changing schools.

[quote]Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?[/quote]

This is why I’m giving the neighborhood selection very nearly as much consideration as the school district. If I can’t find several suitable neighborhoods in my first choice of district, then I’ll look at neighborhoods in my second choice of disctrict.

Of course you have to draw the line somewhere, but we also want to be in a position where finances won’t be a big part of the equation. If someone offers me a job 50 miles away with a 20% raise, it shouldn’t even be tempting, because we won’t need it.

There are some extreme opinions on how much consideration shoud be given to a child’s feelings. My wife thinks that as soon as we had them, our lives became ALL about them. Some will treat their kids as they were treated, like just so much baggage, which is sad. I’m somewhere between the two – kids are people, too, but that doesn’t mean we cease to be important as adults.

[Ren]

[quote=Scarlett]Yeah, 10 minutes extra commute would be worth it, I agree. MY real problem is, how do I know I will end up buying in PQ? It’s likely, but we liked other areas as well. Shall we restrict ourselves to buying only in PQ area of attendance for my kid’s high school and doing so only at the end of elementary school at the earliest?

What if we end up not buying in PQ – maybe we discover by renting that we don’t really like it enough to buy in it – for whatever reasons? (and we end up moving one more time!)[/quote]

Like realtors here have said, sometimes even neighborhoods that are only a few streets apart have a completely different feel to them. Personally, I’m going to attempt to make sure there are many areas in the same district that appeal to me, and I’m starting the research now, 2 years ahead of time. If I buy a house and the neighborhood turns out to be a complete freak show, I want a way out that won’t involve changing schools.

[quote]Is the kid’s emotional/social stability that important so that to seriously limit or force to buy in a certain area (assuming we should buy in the end)? Isn’t that too much importance attributed to it?[/quote]

This is why I’m giving the neighborhood selection very nearly as much consideration as the school district. If I can’t find several suitable neighborhoods in my first choice of district, then I’ll look at neighborhoods in my second choice of disctrict.

Of course you have to draw the line somewhere, but we also want to be in a position where finances won’t be a big part of the equation. If someone offers me a job 50 miles away with a 20% raise, it shouldn’t even be tempting, because we won’t need it.

There are some extreme opinions on how much consideration shoud be given to a child’s feelings. My wife thinks that as soon as we had them, our lives became ALL about them. Some will treat their kids as they were treated, like just so much baggage, which is sad. I’m somewhere between the two – kids are people, too, but that doesn’t mean we cease to be important as adults.

[Author]

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