[UCGal]

If it’s a view blockage issue I would think the coastal commission review would prevent that from happening.

[UCGal]

I’m hyper aware of the long term care issues right now.

Medicare does not cover nursing homes except under very limited terms… – following a 3 day or longer qualified hospitalization, for 20 days… then a partial payment for a few more months… but the family still needs to pony up $141/day for this partial coverage… then – that’s it…. medicare is done and won’t cover any more.

Medicaid is a social welfare program that covers long term care once you have depleted all other assets. Kiss any inheritance to your children goodbye. Kiss your house goodbye. Kiss your social security, pension, RMDs goodbye. There is some set aside for a spouse… but it is limited.

Over half the seniors in nursing homes are under medicaid. The cost is offset by their income (soc sec, pensions), medicaid picks up the balance.

It is much cheaper to have in home care. That’s what we have for my in-laws right now. But we’re reaching the end of that path.

Be nice to your kids indeed. They may be cleaning your ass when you’re no longer able.

[UCGal]

Here are my thoughts.

– Does your bright son have a plan, a major, an area of interest yet?

I would not go the 4 year route, right out of the gate, if he doesn’t even know his course of study… what if he goes to a school that isn’t strong in that field.

I broke my parents hearts by NOT going to UC Berkeley straight out of high school. I was accepted – but had no clue what I wanted to major in. Instead I got a job, moved out, and started taking courses at the community college. I ended up, a few years later, transferring to SDSU and getting a BSEE. I’ve been happy as an enginerd… and who knows how much time/money would have been spent for something else at UCB.

But – if your son is the type he’s know exactly what he wants to do – then facilitate that. A nephew of ours knew he wanted to go to Wharton. The family couldn’t afford it – but knew he should go – and he was accepted with a partial scholarship. He was driven, and there was little risk he’d flounder.

If your son has a plan and you’re confident he has the wherewithal to follow through with his plan – go for the 4 year school (if that’s his plan).

If your son is still figuring out his plan – the JC is the perfect place to figure it out.
Keep your powder dry (money) for when the plan forms.

[UCGal]

The first snake we saw, not long after we moved in, was a king snake. My older son was 3 or 4 and shouted out “SNAKE”. My husband ignored him… but the shouts continued, so he looked… there, along the back wall of the house (backyard) was a nice sized king snake.

Very cool.

Actually – now that I think about it – we haven’t had any snakes in our yard since the owls moved into the owl box 2 doors up. We’re on our second season of having the owls there.

The tarantula hawk thing sounds very cool to watch.

[UCGal]

[quote=flyer]It is interesting to note that, although neither my wife and I, nor any of the parents of our kids friends considered ourselves to be “tiger parents,” and yet, all of our kids excelled at everything from school, to sports, to music, etc. and on and on, and yet the success rate of these same young people (now in their 20’s) is still only about 50%.

Although they came from quite well-to-do families, we still hear many of our kids friends complaining about the fact that they can’t find high-level jobs here, and will never be able to afford a home in San Diego, or CA in general, (for those who wish to stay here)so it seems some of them have kind of given up. A sad, but fascinating conundrum.[/quote]
It might be about expectations. Do they want to buy a big house at the beach from the get-go… or are they budgeting for starter homes.

FWIW – I left San Diego in my late 20’s, in part because I felt I’d never be able to afford a home. At the time nice, but still starter type, homes were around $200k. I moved to WA state and got a similar home for $72k. Fortunately, when I moved back 17 years later, I had equity from my next house, and from the house my husband had when we married, and lots of savings. The home prices had gone up about 2.5 times.

[UCGal]

[quote=bearishgurl][quote=UCGal] . . . (Picture from the outside – looking into a store room.)
[img_assist|nid=16783|title=snake at work|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80][/quote]

omg! Does anyone know how it got in?[/quote]
Nope… that was the big mystery.

I can honestly say I work with a snakes. HA!

[UCGal]

How many chickens are we talking about?
Poway allows chickens.
Some HOAs might not – but the city of Poway doesn’t ban them.

http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/poway-california-chicken-ordinance

But your chickens better be quiet ones – or the lot big enough that the neighbors can’t here them.

The city of San Diego allows chickens, also. In fact they recently relaxed their restrictions on hens (while tightening them on roosters.)

[UCGal]

[quote=bearishgurl][quote=UCGal][quote=bearishgurl]Navydoc, I see you’ve relocated back to SD and are enjoying your new digs w-a-a-a-ay out in lizardland 😉
[/quote]

You don’t have to be in Lizardland to get rattle snakes… Just have to back to a canyon.
I live in UC – and we get the occasional snake in our yard.

Prior to owning our dog – we’d relocate the snake.

Now that we have a dog – who might decide to go after the snake… We would kill it.

Haven’t had a snake recently, though, so that decision is moot so far.[/quote]

Have you ever found a rattlesnake behind your property, UCGal?[/quote]
Yes. Twice. In our backyard. We back to a canyon – so it’s not surprising.

And a neighbors dog was bitten last year.

And to the point I was making… I don’t think most people would call Mira Mesa “lizardland”. But my workplace backs onto Lopez Canyon. We regularly see rattle snakes during the summer. And a baby got inside the building a few years ago (Picture from the outside – looking into a store room.)
[img_assist|nid=16783|title=snake at work|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

[UCGal]

[quote=bearishgurl]Navydoc, I see you’ve relocated back to SD and are enjoying your new digs w-a-a-a-ay out in lizardland 😉
[/quote]

You don’t have to be in Lizardland to get rattle snakes… Just have to back to a canyon.
I live in UC – and we get the occasional snake in our yard.

Prior to owning our dog – we’d relocate the snake.

Now that we have a dog – who might decide to go after the snake… We would kill it.

Haven’t had a snake recently, though, so that decision is moot so far.

[UCGal]

I vote townhouse. If you have children you don’t want a long commute keeping you away from them during their waking hours.

But then again… I abhor long commutes… used to commute from downtown to oceanside back in the 80’s… traffic wasn’t an issue back then… but time and distance were. I swore I’d never have a commute longer than 30 minutes again. A promise I’ve kept for myself.

[UCGal]

[quote=dumbrenter][quote=paulflorez]”No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation, alter that character, or eclipse the light of the values that we stand for.  Today we mourn four more Americans who represent the very best of the United States of America.  We will not waver in our commitment to see that justice is done for this terrible act.  And make no mistake, justice will be done.”

He referred to it as an act of terror. Your interpretation is clouded by your bias. The words are right there, or do you need some kind of certificate to prove he said those words?[/quote]

Yes, we need a certificate to prove that and that certificate better be in Kenyan.[/quote]

Dumbrenter – you owe me a keyboard… Mine has coffee spewed all over it.

[UCGal]

[quote=squat250]well but everyone is a priest in the mormon church.

i think the deal was blacks couldn’t get celestial marriages and other benefits, so in the afterlife, they basically had lowerclass positions, like servants to the fully celestially endowed, whcih w as still good, because at least you were in heaven, even if you had a crap job there, much better than non-mormons, whoa re totally locked out, but not as good a spot in heaven as what a full on white person would get. that changed in 78 when blacks were recognized as being entitled toa full share of the afterlife.

the problem came about due to prosyletizing in brazil–no one could tell who the black people were, or how much black was in them…so for expansion purposes, a revelation w as necessary…good business move…

seems different than women in churches today…or maybe not….[/quote]
Not to quibble – but I’m not sure if women are priests in the LDS faith. In fact I’m pretty sure they can’t hold any ecclesiastic roles in the church.
Maybe that makes it easier to put them in a binder.

[UCGal]

I am.

My contributions are going to $23k from $22.5k.
(Gotta love the extra 5.5k you get for being old.)

[UCGal]

Assuming everything was by the book, and to code, you should be fine. But it doesn’t hurt to talk to the neighbor about their concerns, to alleviate the concerns.

When we built our granny flat we made sure every t was crossed and i dotted. Because we were within the rules, it did not go to neighbor approval.

My husband also went and talked to the neighbors on either side, below us, and across the street to let them know what was going on. Kind of preventive damage control.

One of the neighbors below expressed concern about the roof/building pad creating more runoff water flowing into his yard. We showed him the grading and drainage plans (with basins and pumps that capture the water and pump it away from his house.)

When all was complete, we had a party and invited all the neighbors to see the finished project. The same neighbor said it was so much nicer than he feared, and was completely satisfied. He was able to inspect the storm water pump system up close and personal.

So… manage your neighbors concerns. Show him that you’re not impacting him.
If it’s a wooden deck – the water will still drain between the planks and be absorbed by the dirt below the deck. If it is a solid surface deck – then you probably do have to capture and redirect the storm runoff.

[UCGal]

[quote=no_such_reality]

I thought his answer basically showed he was going to take effort to make equal opportunity.

His comments about flexibility, and his point that companies will need to be flexible if they want the skills women have, is spot on. It’s not that women need flexibility, they WANT flexibility. Hence his comment about one wanting the flexibility for their children. What I’ve personally seen is often, women don’t even apply because they assume the hours are long, of they need to travel and they prioritize their family and business unless they make a concerted effort don’t even see them.

That said, it would have been really simple for him to say, people working the same job, accomplishing the same things, should make the equal pay.

And that becomes the crux, because the 72% number is an aggregate and not a control, job, industry, time in job measure.

Overall, I thought the debate boiled down to

“he’s a liar!”
“no, you’re the liar!”[/quote]

See – this is where you and I differ. And it seems to be common among the different perception of the answer between men and women. I’ve been taking an unofficial poll among coworkers and friends this morning. Most women felt he was condescending… and men just felt he was clueless. I guess if you’re not being condescended to – it’s less of an issue.

(Not sure if you’re male or female NSR.)

I took issue with the idea that flex work hours are ONLY needed by women. And the implication that without flex work hours, women won’t take a job. That’s bogus. In this day and age – where both parents are involved in raising the kids – both parents need flex hours. To assume it’s just for women is condescending.

Men WANT flexibility as well. It’s not just a woman issue – it’s a PARENT issue.

FWIW – my husband has selected jobs that require less travel because of his family commitments. That happened after we had kids. He’s also the one that leaves early to take our son to baseball practice. We both parent, we compare schedules and work commitments, and figure out, on a case by case basis, who’s going to take off work to take the kid to the dentist, or stay home with a sick kid. I think we’re pretty typical. To imply it’s entirely the woman’s responsibility it is an outdated notion. And his answer that flex hours are something that women want (implying it’s not important for men) is also antiquated.

[Author]

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