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scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=svelte][quote=scaredyclassic]
Avocadogreen mattresses[/quote]I don’t think those will work for me. I need a very firm mattress and the firmest listed on the Avocado site is Medium-Firm (7.5 on a scale 1-10).
As an example of how firm I need, before the Elite our favorite mattress brand was called the Sealy Granite.[/quote]
Homes should be rated for firmness.
Participant[quote=svelte][quote=scaredyclassic]feng shui for toilets.
mattress issues as related to dream life.
tax considerations.
life is tricky.[/quote]
Your mattress talk started me thinking about a new mattress. Ours is about a decade old now.
So I started poking around online. Holy cow has the mattress world changed in the last decade. I guess I should have noticed when we bought the grandkids memory foam mattresses. At the time I thought that was a sliver of the market.
But no – memory foam has taken over! They don’t even make our Beautyrest Elite any more. Now Beautyrests have names like “Black”, “Harmony Lux Diamond”, “Harmony Lux Carbon”. All of them at least partially memory foam.
I won’t be able to walk in, plunk down my money and buy the usual. I’m actually going to have to do research.[/quote]
Avocadogreen mattresses
Participantfeng shui for toilets.
mattress issues as related to dream life.
tax considerations.
life is tricky.
Participant[quote=flyer][quote=masayako][quote=flyer]All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.
We also live in other places, but still keep our dream home here. Granted, if you waited to purchase your dream home or other properties until now, they, and taxes, are going to be a lot more expensive than they were in the past. Meeting the requirements to keep a tax base in another state or country is something you might want to investigate. There are (legal) ways to have the best of all worlds.
We also have lots of family here, kids, friends etc., and take care of several family members who need care, vs. placing them in facilities. We have them taken care of in the way we would want to be treated, and are glad to do it. A few hugs a day means more to them than any amount of money every could.
Even with the best diet, exercise and mental health aspects of life covered, when you see how life can change on a dime wrt one’s health, it’s clear that making the most of what you have each day is the best way to go, and I wish you the best in your quest.[/quote]
Thank you so much for the advice. My in-laws will go with us if we decide to move out of CA. They are being very flexible. I completely agree with you that it boils down to where you want to be and what we are willing to scarifice (friends in CA etc). It’s so hard.[/quote]
Glad to know my thoughts were helpful, but please, don’t construe them as advice, because it’s best that you make your own decisions. That said, here are a few more thoughts:
I think the reason you are having such a hard time with this, is that you really do feel a strong attachment to CA and all that only it has to offer, yet, you also feel pragmatically compelled to evaluate the financial realities of staying in CA.
One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.
If you find the home and location you can’t live without in CA, vs. elsewhere, run the numbers long term, and even if the home is more than the equivalent elsewhere, including taxes, property taxes, etc. if you feel you can afford it, it would seem you have your answer. Other than what you wish to leave to your family and/or friends, leaving multiple millions on the table would not seem necessary. Again, just my thoughts.[/quote]
We had a few odd moments when living in our downtown condo, looking down at homeless folk, being woken up by their occasional tirade.
I watched a homeless lady meticulously cleaning her feet by the gutter from the balcony for 30 minutes.
Time for me to tuck into bed! Take one last look at those dudes flat on the cold concrete! Night nite! Sleep tite! Seriousy dont let the bedbugs bite!
Me, I need finer sheets. I think my soul needs a better thread count!
I felt sort of bad, but frankly, my soul felt sort of good for feeling bad. Also of course, theres the relief im not them. A cautionary tale of not getting with The Program.
I watched an ancient dude enjoying the hell out of a can of coke. Youd think he never had a drink of soda in his life. Was he just acting? But if so, for who? He hadnt seen me watching. SO much gusto.
Dude had soul.
Perhaps my true dream home needs to be surrounded by the destitute, ot least lesser blessed, for comparison purpose. Perhaps a mansion surrounded by a trailer park, or a castle ringed with beggars.
What about that house in Parasite. I liked that one! The way we express our souls in the usa is consumption, so dont be cheap…
ParticipantReplace soul with ego, and expression with display, and it isnt esoteric at all !
The dream home is a display of the ego. At least it is for me. Theres no additional utility.
My ego is sometimes filled with pride when i look around my home and i feel slightly superior when i display it to other people, because my home is nicer than pretty much anyone in the worlds.
My soul, however, assuming what i identify as my soul or spirit actually exists, and isnt just some particular chemical activity, is usually not interested in my house. Generally…however—
We do bodily get accustomed to specific spots though. Query: there are 3 toilets in the house. Why would i only ever consider pooping in one of them. Or even peeing?
I pee outside way before id pee on those other 2 toilets. I believe my soul needs the quiet of this one bathroom to properly poop. It has no window for starters. And its very small in there. Just roomy enougg 4 a soul. Pooping in those lrge lighted toilets feels wrong to my heart.
In buying your dream home, masayako, i would be sure to quietly sit upon each toilet for 5 minutes in this home. Make the agent go outside. Think: can i poop freely here? If no toilet provides peace….then pass…it may be the case that you no longer even wish to poop in california.
Participant[quote=sdrealtor][quote=flyer][quote=masayako][quote=flyer]All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.
One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.
[/quote]
So what would your advice be to your tenants with an empty space in their souls?[/quote]
Any home no matter how small can have a little space for meditation with an altar.
Participant[quote=sdrealtor][quote=flyer][quote=masayako][quote=flyer]All good points, so it boils down to where you want to be, and only you can answer that question.
One thing you might want to consider in order to find your answer, would be to look for your dream home both in CA and elsewhere, and then, let that choice guide your decision to stay in CA or move. This may sound esoteric, because it is, but I feel the home is an expression of the soul that fills a space that nothing else can fill, so making that your guiding factor would seem to make sense.
[/quote]
So what would your advice be to your tenants with an empty space in their souls?[/quote]
Some folk so poor they have to rent their soul.
Teeth on loan from the five and dime.
Lungs on lay away from the department store.
Borrowed all the air and most of their time.Lyrics to a song i just wrote!
Participant[quote=Coronita]What about foam pillows. I couldnt get use to a foam pillow. I had one that was heavh like a brick, but it just seemed too firm. When uses a foam pillow, ir felt like i was wearing snell 2010 helmet. Ok maybe not a snell helmet. It just felt kinda hard.[/quote]
might i recommend a pillow stuffed with $100 bills. i tried $10s, but they’re not as supportive.
Participant[quote=Hobie]I bought an off shelf hand made queen from Escondido Mattress a dozen or more years ago. Wasn’t remarkable, but still in use today. I don’t know if the old guy ( kinda crodgity dude )still runs the place but it might be somewhere close to have a custom one made.[/quote]
Chuang Tzu dreamed that he was a butterfly.
All day long, he floated on the breeze
Without a thought of who he was or where he was going.When he awoke, Chuang Tzu became confused.
“Am I a Man”, he thought,
“who dreamed that I was a butterfly?
Or am I butterfly, dreaming that I am a man?
Perhaps my whole waking life is
but a moment in a butterfly’s dream!
This is a story of transformation”it isn’t necessary to be a taoist to be a mattress salesman, but neither does it hurt.
Participant[quote=Coronita]Isn’t foam mattresses though suppose to be stain resistant? I mean, that’s why I thought was one of the selling points of a foam mattress for those unexpected accidents…. Of course I mean pet accidents….
I tried the purple thing. Did not like…Stayed with coils…[/quote]
no, it’s just a hunk of absorbent foam. you could buy a cover though. mines pretty thin and cheap, but it really is comfy compared to, say, the floor.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that on a per dollar ratioed basis, the satisfaction from a good mattress far exceeds the satsifaction from a 10 million home.
teh reviews on the avocadogreen mattress website were howlingly over the top. My wife was hysterically laughing. each reveiw was more wildly enthusiastic than the next.
to the OP, I’d say the real issue, is what mattress will you buy, not which state will you live in. i wonder what the limit is on custom mattresses. A guy like you really needs a 100k mattress… also, linen pajamas. those have really improved my life. and good slippers! dont forget high quality slippers! check out the slippers at softstar.com that’s about everything you’ll need.
Participantright, consumer reports bears out what you are saying for foam, tempurpedic rated lower than cheap foam.
however, in the organic wool, alpaca topped virgin latex ethereal dreamworld realm of mattress, consumer reports gives them a higher rating on all categories than mere plebeian foam.
look, I’d be fine with a foam mattress. we’ve been sleeping on a $100 foam guy I bought off amazon that smelled like an oil refinery and made my wife angry. Id go foam all day long. all night long too.
but I’m looking for something special for the aching wife. something dreamy. a mattress handmade for kings. our dream mattress….money is no object. up toa point. let’s say, 5k for the mattress.. after that, i’m going to need a really good sales pitch.
Participant[quote=gzz]my life partner is a Vegan Van Life instagramm-thinkfluencer. Google it.
I’m glad my driveway has “RV Parking” like all the home listings say.[/quote]
It would be very satisfying IMO to be an ultra wealthy semihomeless guy.
Maybe all dream homes are our past homes.
What happens inside a dream home? Nothing different than a non dream home.
A cat peed on our mattress. Ugh. Thinking of going all out on a new one for the actual dream part of my home. Avocado green mattresses are top rated in consumer reports. Pricey, but it would be my literal dream home.
Anyone have experience with super high end mattresses? Id like to spend as much as possible. I am hopeful that a 2k plus mattress will improve my life more than a 10 mill. House. All that wonderful deep restorative sleep. Organic wool. Hand tufted, whatever that means. Organic and so forth.
Although i am dreaming of better dreams, likely my best sleep has already happened in my youth.
🙁
Participantunless you’re trump.
im leaning toward a nomadic lifestyle with my 30 million. a really nice van. but not too flashy. stay in motels from time to time.
Participant[quote=XBoxBoy][quote=scaredyclassic]
i immediately embraced this theory as the overarching unified theory of everything human, from hoarding, to trump, to money, religion, art, fashion. no more need to wonder why anyone does anything anymore. it’s all about managing death terror[/quote]The problem is we do lots of things and have lots of needs that fly in the face of this theory. Like sex, or thrill seeking, or going to war. Terror management is just a part of the complex human psyche.[/quote]
terror management addresses that. don’t worry, the terror mgt theorists are way ahead of you. we go to desperate measures to defend these cultural structures we’ve created to ward off death anxiety…
“Terror Management Theory (TMT) was developed in 1986 by social psychologists Jeff Greenberg, Tom Pyszczynski, and Sheldon Solomon based upon Ernest Becker’s ideas.
TMT posits that while humans share with all life-forms a biological predisposition toward self-preservation in the service of reproduction, we are unique in our capacity for symbolic thought, which fosters self-awareness and the ability to reflect on the past and ponder the future. This spawns the realization that death is inevitable and can occur at any time for reasons that cannot be anticipated or controlled.
The awareness of death engenders potentially debilitating terror that is “managed” by the development and maintenance of cultural worldviews: humanly constructed beliefs about reality shared by individuals that minimize existential dread by conferring meaning and value. All cultures provide a sense that life is meaningful by offering an account of the origin of the universe, prescriptions for appropriate behavior, and assurance of immortality for those who behave in accordance with cultural dictates. Literal immortality is afforded by souls, heavens, afterlives, and reincarnations associated with all major religions. Symbolic immortality is obtained by being part of a great nation, amassing great fortunes, noteworthy accomplishments, and having children.
Psychological equanimity also requires that individuals perceive themselves as persons of value in a world of meaning. This is accomplished through social roles with associated standards. Self-esteem is the sense of personal significance that results from meeting or exceeding such standards.
Three lines of research provide empirical support for TMT:
The anxiety-buffering function of self-esteem is established by studies where momentarily elevated self-esteem results in lower self-reported anxiety and physiological arousal.
Making death salient by asking people to think about themselves dying (or viewing graphic depictions of death, being interviewed in front of a funeral parlor, or subliminal exposure to the word “dead” or “death”) intensifies strivings to defend their cultural worldviews by increasing positive reactions to similar others, and negative reactions toward those who are different.
Research verifies the existential function of cultural worldviews and self-esteem by demonstrating that non-conscious death thoughts come more readily to mind when cherished cultural beliefs or self-esteem is threatened.
TMT has generated empirical research (currently more than 500 studies) examining a host of other forms of human social behavior, including aggression, stereotyping, needs for structure and meaning, depression and psychopathology, political preferences, creativity, sexuality, romantic and interpersonal attachment, self-awareness, unconscious cognition, martyrdom, religion, group identification, disgust, human-nature relations, physical health, risk taking, and legal judgments.In 2015, Greenberg, Pyszczynski and Solomon published The Worm at the Core, which reviews this vast body of research supporting Becker’s central claim that the fear of death is “the mainspring of human activity.”
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