Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
NotCranky
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]
The only choice, if you don’t want to exchange some baggage is to stay single (because you have plenty too). [/quote]Exchange baggage? I don’t get the concept.
Let’s not confuse baggage with being irritating at times or having some minor character flaws. Of course, in a relationship there is some compromising.
Baggage is criminal background, addiction, STDs, financial problems, family that make their problems your problems… the type of things you don’t want in your life.
There are also incompatibility issues that are not baggage. To relate back to real estate, I hate anything Victorian or old fashioned looking like quilts, frilly curtains or country stuff. I would be miserable forced to compromise to live in a house like that.[/quote]
Yeah you definitely don’t want to do major man woman battle over the curtains and quilts and other frilly stuff…that could be devastating.
I think other people covered pretty well that what’s forgivable could easily go beyond minor character flaws….depending on other factors. If the limit was minor character flaws but zero pretty questionable stuff in the past or maybe herpes, there wouldn’t be very many couples.
Is a previous divorce too much baggage? Having too little relationship experience for your age, Maybe that’s too much baggage to some people…maybe worse than a past addiction or crime or debt or herpes. If people having any of these issues is unloveable there isn’t much love around.
ParticipantTitle company has done a lot, but yes, a lawyer has been suggested.
I have talked with a few and the possibility of a correction deed has come up. I have an appointment tomorrow to have a phone conversation with another lawyer I was referred to specifically for talking about the correction deed. I always like to know as much as I can before I talk to a lawyer so that’s why the question is here.
An interesting side note, the title company will do a litigation guarantee rather inexpensively, around $400. However, the goal of fixing this stuff for me is worth less than the quiet title action costs.
If there is the possibility that a deed correction would work, that could be way cheaper , maybe done without a lawyer at all.
ParticipantIt’s doubtful that people who would get into a very long term unhappy marriage would be happy single . Lots of unhappy single people too though, previously married and never married. Status is not a big factor long term, individual make-up is.
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]I can understand baggage, but don’t want it my own life. Marriage is supposed to make life more enjoyable. If not, then why do it?
[/quote]The only choice, if you don’t want to exchange some baggage is to stay single (because you have plenty too). If you like the trade-off, good for you. Two people can not overcome incompatibility just by co-mingling baggage…that’s the real risk.
ParticipantI doubt he’s more racist than other pimp daddies on average. Anyone who’s Ho was tramping around with a bunch of black guys would probably say the same thing. He was probably worried she was doing more than photo ops with them.
A black guy would have said “quit going around with all those niggers”.
The thing about the apartments isn’t right but it’s very common “business ethics” for lots of rental areas. It is hard to screen tenants so he probably felt like going with the averages.
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.[/quote]
One thing we both laugh about is how terrible we each are. That’s funny. We were laughing about it just yesterday. I did all this good stuff and she was happy then I did and said all kinds of stupid stuff and she was pouty, I was terrible and she was terrible and it was funny as hell. If both people do this it maintains the 15% satisfaction rule. There is no other way.
ParticipantKev, I would look for a wife who can tolerate a life where she only enjoys 15% of the content of the words that come out of your mouth. Seems to be the key.
ParticipantLOL
Funny! You are funny. The part about saying you aren’t funny is your wife’s fault but that’s the only thing. But she proabably has her reasons to not admit that you are funny, so it is your fault.
ParticipantIt’s all your fault.
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .
But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).
So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line![/quote]
In real life family qualities work in cycles, that’s pretty much all of us, There is no
continous path of perfection. I am better than my dad, at least as a husband , father , community member, my kids will be better than me but that won’t last forever and a downhill slide is inevitable. Along the way some qualities go up and some go down too. Can’t have it all. Different lives.As far as my problems go It’s all my fault though, I know that. Might as well be because having it be someone else;s fault is hopeless. So with that, I would say this is all Kev’s fault.
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]That was what my parents could not see. They saw someone of different ethnicity, much different background, economically, religiously. What they didn’t know, is that like my mom, she was and is absolutely 100 percent honest and hardworking.
Sometime advice givers are flat out wrong.[/quote]
That’s what I am saying, in day your different ethnicities made you oddballs and you are probably much better off in marriage than the average. People who do all the proper guidelines in a compulsory way…that’s a problem too.
ParticipantThanks, SK,
I’ll have my tax preparer run the offer and a potential counter offer.
ParticipantI know , I am just goofing a bit with the idea because SOME poster thinks family
is cause for rejection on it’s own without any proof of any other weak stuff.
I don’t really want the next PC to be marry people from the most crazy families…though I am glad some good people do.ParticipantOne day when the world is as evolved holding someone’s family against a person will be called what it is, bigotry of a kind. If something is being held against a person because the family is poor that’s called greed. Different question than personal debt, of course.
People who pair up in large part due to pedigrees often times get burned the worst.
Odd couples are happier.
-
AuthorPosts
