OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[scaredyclassic]

on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .

But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).

So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line!

[CafeMoto]

I agree: You were more than fair saying you’d wait to see this through. If you cave in to that BS ultimatum you become a total sucker. She lacks empathy. Stay strong and continue to make smart decisions like you are doing by exiting now. Don’t cut into lifelong happiness.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]That was what my parents could not see. They saw someone of different ethnicity, much different background, economically, religiously. What they didn’t know, is that like my mom, she was and is absolutely 100 percent honest and hardworking.

Sometime advice givers are flat out wrong.[/quote]

That’s what I am saying, in day your different ethnicities made you oddballs and you are probably much better off in marriage than the average. People who do all the proper guidelines in a compulsory way…that’s a problem too.[/quote]

yes. If I had married the Jewish woman who my parents would have approved of, I would probably have had to kill myself by now.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .

But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).

So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line![/quote]

In real life family qualities work in cycles, that’s pretty much all of us, There is no
continous path of perfection. I am better than my dad, at least as a husband , father , community member, my kids will be better than me but that won’t last forever and a downhill slide is inevitable. Along the way some qualities go up and some go down too. Can’t have it all. Different lives.

As far as my problems go It’s all my fault though, I know that. Might as well be because having it be someone else;s fault is hopeless. So with that, I would say this is all Kev’s fault.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .

But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).

So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line![/quote]

In real life family qualities work in cycles, that’s pretty much all of us, There is no
continous path of perfection. I am better than my dad, at least as a husband , father , community member, my kids will be better than me but that won’t last forever and a downhill slide is inevitable. Along the way some qualities go up and some go down too. Can’t have it all. Different lives.

As far as my problems go It’s all my fault though, I know that. Might as well be because having it be someone else;s fault is hopeless. So with that, I would say this is all Kev’s fault.[/quote]

personally, I blame G-d but that’s probably even less useful than blaming others.

[NotCranky]

It’s all your fault.

[scaredyclassic]

I’ll accept half if that cold unfeeling bastard in the sky will just say he’s sorry, for once…

[NotCranky]

LOL

Funny! You are funny. The part about saying you aren’t funny is your wife’s fault but that’s the only thing. But she proabably has her reasons to not admit that you are funny, so it is your fault.

[scaredyclassic]

if a tree tells a joke ina forest, and there are no other trees around to hear it, is the tree funny? depends on the treee, i think. oaks are never funny. eucalyptus, hilarious.

she hates to encourage my goofiness, which is probably at unhealthy levels already.

dinnertime always irritated her. me and the kids were yukking it up nonstop for 18 years. a lot of silly laughing. she felt it was too much. i see her point. she wanted some regular conversation. sometimes we had that. but it was like 15%. maybe if shed spent more time with my dad she could have seen the warning signs that there was going to be a lot of witty repartee…i mean, a lot…toxic levels…

in a way, i’m like a schizophrenic, i communicate in strange ways, but there is menaing underneath the word salad if you have the energy to toss it and you dont take things too literally…

maybe if she’d spent more time with my dad she could have seen what a cautious, conservative financial fellow i would be…

but she gets tired of salad soemtimes….always beware of and inspet the parents…avoid the excessively witty.

[svelte]

Holy crap! I go away for an hour and there are like 10 more posts!

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=svelte]
Sometimes integrity has to trump your heart.[/quote]
I strongly disagree. Integrity Always trumps the heart.[/quote]

I probably should have said “Usually”, but “Always” is way too black and white.

After all, if “Always” was used nobody could marry a Christian because their integrity is compromised through their fabrications about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny! 🙂

[NotCranky]

Kev, I would look for a wife who can tolerate a life where she only enjoys 15% of the content of the words that come out of your mouth. Seems to be the key.

[scaredyclassic]

If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.[/quote]

One thing we both laugh about is how terrible we each are. That’s funny. We were laughing about it just yesterday. I did all this good stuff and she was happy then I did and said all kinds of stupid stuff and she was pouty, I was terrible and she was terrible and it was funny as hell. If both people do this it maintains the 15% satisfaction rule. There is no other way.

[scaredyclassic]

Preexisting debt, STDS, freakish relatives all potentially ok…depends on time place and manner of disclosure.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.[/quote]

One thing we both laugh about is how terrible we each are. That’s funny. We were laughing about it just yesterday. I did all this good stuff and she was happy then I did and said all kinds of stupid stuff and she was pouty, I was terrible and she was terrible and it was funny as hell. If both people do this it maintains the 15% satisfaction rule. There is no other way.[/quote]

A decent marriage spends 10 % of the year in the icu, 25 perc. In a locked psych facility, 35 percent on Hawaiian vacation and 30 percent in full on combat. Sex may occur anytime except not permitted in the ICU

[Author]

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