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scaredyclassic.
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June 12, 2011 at 2:44 AM #703837June 12, 2011 at 2:53 AM #702650
CA renter
Participant[quote=jstoesz]I would like to mention something that seems to be unmentioned, but painfully obvious to me at least, a married man (somewhat new by some perspectives, so maybe that explains my idealism and naivety).
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
Many of you who contend that cheating is in our nature and therefore no big deal, miss the fact that lots of things are in our nature and a really big deal. People are capable of violent hateful things in addition to being capable of great acts of charity. Murder is certainly in our nature, but that does not make it justifiable. I have a desire to drink lots of beer and eat lots of pizza (thankfully, my wife mentions this often) and if I let my appetite reign supreme I would be a fat lazy sob unable to do the things I love doing most.
Difficulty builds character, and a marriage with a well matched partner will breed character no doubt. But those who cheat are the ones who really lack the character. For what its worth, many who don’t cheat have no character either, but lack the balls to go through with their wishes.
:climbing down from the soapbox:[/quote]
Awesome post, jstoesz.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Like nj pointed out above, the married guys who hang out in bars with single guys like davelj are the ones who don’t want to be married/faithful. The happily married ones are at home with their best friends (wives).
As with most things in life, the discontented ones are all too often the most vociferous. You never hear about it when things are going well.
I’ve known many happily married men who never strayed from their wives. It all depends on how you prioritize your life.
Funny as scaredy is, he’s right about tolerance being one of the most important traits of happily married people. The description of the stoic, old man with the crazy wife if pretty apt. 🙂
It sounds like you’re going to be happily married for a long time. Enjoy!
June 12, 2011 at 2:53 AM #702749Participant[quote=jstoesz]I would like to mention something that seems to be unmentioned, but painfully obvious to me at least, a married man (somewhat new by some perspectives, so maybe that explains my idealism and naivety).
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
Many of you who contend that cheating is in our nature and therefore no big deal, miss the fact that lots of things are in our nature and a really big deal. People are capable of violent hateful things in addition to being capable of great acts of charity. Murder is certainly in our nature, but that does not make it justifiable. I have a desire to drink lots of beer and eat lots of pizza (thankfully, my wife mentions this often) and if I let my appetite reign supreme I would be a fat lazy sob unable to do the things I love doing most.
Difficulty builds character, and a marriage with a well matched partner will breed character no doubt. But those who cheat are the ones who really lack the character. For what its worth, many who don’t cheat have no character either, but lack the balls to go through with their wishes.
:climbing down from the soapbox:[/quote]
Awesome post, jstoesz.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Like nj pointed out above, the married guys who hang out in bars with single guys like davelj are the ones who don’t want to be married/faithful. The happily married ones are at home with their best friends (wives).
As with most things in life, the discontented ones are all too often the most vociferous. You never hear about it when things are going well.
I’ve known many happily married men who never strayed from their wives. It all depends on how you prioritize your life.
Funny as scaredy is, he’s right about tolerance being one of the most important traits of happily married people. The description of the stoic, old man with the crazy wife if pretty apt. 🙂
It sounds like you’re going to be happily married for a long time. Enjoy!
June 12, 2011 at 2:53 AM #703340Participant[quote=jstoesz]I would like to mention something that seems to be unmentioned, but painfully obvious to me at least, a married man (somewhat new by some perspectives, so maybe that explains my idealism and naivety).
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
Many of you who contend that cheating is in our nature and therefore no big deal, miss the fact that lots of things are in our nature and a really big deal. People are capable of violent hateful things in addition to being capable of great acts of charity. Murder is certainly in our nature, but that does not make it justifiable. I have a desire to drink lots of beer and eat lots of pizza (thankfully, my wife mentions this often) and if I let my appetite reign supreme I would be a fat lazy sob unable to do the things I love doing most.
Difficulty builds character, and a marriage with a well matched partner will breed character no doubt. But those who cheat are the ones who really lack the character. For what its worth, many who don’t cheat have no character either, but lack the balls to go through with their wishes.
:climbing down from the soapbox:[/quote]
Awesome post, jstoesz.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Like nj pointed out above, the married guys who hang out in bars with single guys like davelj are the ones who don’t want to be married/faithful. The happily married ones are at home with their best friends (wives).
As with most things in life, the discontented ones are all too often the most vociferous. You never hear about it when things are going well.
I’ve known many happily married men who never strayed from their wives. It all depends on how you prioritize your life.
Funny as scaredy is, he’s right about tolerance being one of the most important traits of happily married people. The description of the stoic, old man with the crazy wife if pretty apt. 🙂
It sounds like you’re going to be happily married for a long time. Enjoy!
June 12, 2011 at 2:53 AM #703488Participant[quote=jstoesz]I would like to mention something that seems to be unmentioned, but painfully obvious to me at least, a married man (somewhat new by some perspectives, so maybe that explains my idealism and naivety).
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
Many of you who contend that cheating is in our nature and therefore no big deal, miss the fact that lots of things are in our nature and a really big deal. People are capable of violent hateful things in addition to being capable of great acts of charity. Murder is certainly in our nature, but that does not make it justifiable. I have a desire to drink lots of beer and eat lots of pizza (thankfully, my wife mentions this often) and if I let my appetite reign supreme I would be a fat lazy sob unable to do the things I love doing most.
Difficulty builds character, and a marriage with a well matched partner will breed character no doubt. But those who cheat are the ones who really lack the character. For what its worth, many who don’t cheat have no character either, but lack the balls to go through with their wishes.
:climbing down from the soapbox:[/quote]
Awesome post, jstoesz.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Like nj pointed out above, the married guys who hang out in bars with single guys like davelj are the ones who don’t want to be married/faithful. The happily married ones are at home with their best friends (wives).
As with most things in life, the discontented ones are all too often the most vociferous. You never hear about it when things are going well.
I’ve known many happily married men who never strayed from their wives. It all depends on how you prioritize your life.
Funny as scaredy is, he’s right about tolerance being one of the most important traits of happily married people. The description of the stoic, old man with the crazy wife if pretty apt. 🙂
It sounds like you’re going to be happily married for a long time. Enjoy!
June 12, 2011 at 2:53 AM #703847Participant[quote=jstoesz]I would like to mention something that seems to be unmentioned, but painfully obvious to me at least, a married man (somewhat new by some perspectives, so maybe that explains my idealism and naivety).
The point, the reason, the intention of marriage is not for self fulfillment of ones “needs” or appetites. It is to create something that is greater than oneself. It is to provide man some semblance of a purpose in life. To create a unit geared toward making the world a better place. Primarily through the betterment of one’s children, but more immediately the betterment of one’s self and spouse’s self. It is the most obvious and natural way in which man can accomplish this. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is easy, nothing! I would contend that successful marriages are so difficult, because they are one of the most worthwhile things a man can do. But in turn then, they must be difficult.
Many of you who contend that cheating is in our nature and therefore no big deal, miss the fact that lots of things are in our nature and a really big deal. People are capable of violent hateful things in addition to being capable of great acts of charity. Murder is certainly in our nature, but that does not make it justifiable. I have a desire to drink lots of beer and eat lots of pizza (thankfully, my wife mentions this often) and if I let my appetite reign supreme I would be a fat lazy sob unable to do the things I love doing most.
Difficulty builds character, and a marriage with a well matched partner will breed character no doubt. But those who cheat are the ones who really lack the character. For what its worth, many who don’t cheat have no character either, but lack the balls to go through with their wishes.
:climbing down from the soapbox:[/quote]
Awesome post, jstoesz.
Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Like nj pointed out above, the married guys who hang out in bars with single guys like davelj are the ones who don’t want to be married/faithful. The happily married ones are at home with their best friends (wives).
As with most things in life, the discontented ones are all too often the most vociferous. You never hear about it when things are going well.
I’ve known many happily married men who never strayed from their wives. It all depends on how you prioritize your life.
Funny as scaredy is, he’s right about tolerance being one of the most important traits of happily married people. The description of the stoic, old man with the crazy wife if pretty apt. 🙂
It sounds like you’re going to be happily married for a long time. Enjoy!
June 12, 2011 at 8:36 AM #702660scaredyclassic
Participantyesterday i read just the first ten pages of a new book by ERIC FELTEN (a wall st. j. writer) called LOYALTY, THE VEXING VIRTUE. And it was pretty deep.
So deep and interesting that i am going to remain loyal to my impulse and continue reading until I finish the book.
Unless I get bored halfway through, in which case, my loyalty to the book may waiver and i may betray my initial intention to finish the book.
But seriously, it’s a really interesting book on an important subject.
I know I still a recall a relatively petty disloyalty by a “friend” of mine from well over 25 years ago and it still resonates in me. That fucker, I think. Fuck him.
of course, I’m guilty of equal or worse disloyalties along the way. If loyalty weren’t such an intensely important subject, I doubt I’d still be able to “feel” a minor betrayal from a quarter century and longer ago.
Loyalty to spouse is just one of many potentially conflicting loyalty issues; loyalty to country, to friends, to work, to family, to self — that can make life difficult to navigate….fortunately, we all have this book to help us.
June 12, 2011 at 8:36 AM #702759Participantyesterday i read just the first ten pages of a new book by ERIC FELTEN (a wall st. j. writer) called LOYALTY, THE VEXING VIRTUE. And it was pretty deep.
So deep and interesting that i am going to remain loyal to my impulse and continue reading until I finish the book.
Unless I get bored halfway through, in which case, my loyalty to the book may waiver and i may betray my initial intention to finish the book.
But seriously, it’s a really interesting book on an important subject.
I know I still a recall a relatively petty disloyalty by a “friend” of mine from well over 25 years ago and it still resonates in me. That fucker, I think. Fuck him.
of course, I’m guilty of equal or worse disloyalties along the way. If loyalty weren’t such an intensely important subject, I doubt I’d still be able to “feel” a minor betrayal from a quarter century and longer ago.
Loyalty to spouse is just one of many potentially conflicting loyalty issues; loyalty to country, to friends, to work, to family, to self — that can make life difficult to navigate….fortunately, we all have this book to help us.
June 12, 2011 at 8:36 AM #703350Participantyesterday i read just the first ten pages of a new book by ERIC FELTEN (a wall st. j. writer) called LOYALTY, THE VEXING VIRTUE. And it was pretty deep.
So deep and interesting that i am going to remain loyal to my impulse and continue reading until I finish the book.
Unless I get bored halfway through, in which case, my loyalty to the book may waiver and i may betray my initial intention to finish the book.
But seriously, it’s a really interesting book on an important subject.
I know I still a recall a relatively petty disloyalty by a “friend” of mine from well over 25 years ago and it still resonates in me. That fucker, I think. Fuck him.
of course, I’m guilty of equal or worse disloyalties along the way. If loyalty weren’t such an intensely important subject, I doubt I’d still be able to “feel” a minor betrayal from a quarter century and longer ago.
Loyalty to spouse is just one of many potentially conflicting loyalty issues; loyalty to country, to friends, to work, to family, to self — that can make life difficult to navigate….fortunately, we all have this book to help us.
June 12, 2011 at 8:36 AM #703498Participantyesterday i read just the first ten pages of a new book by ERIC FELTEN (a wall st. j. writer) called LOYALTY, THE VEXING VIRTUE. And it was pretty deep.
So deep and interesting that i am going to remain loyal to my impulse and continue reading until I finish the book.
Unless I get bored halfway through, in which case, my loyalty to the book may waiver and i may betray my initial intention to finish the book.
But seriously, it’s a really interesting book on an important subject.
I know I still a recall a relatively petty disloyalty by a “friend” of mine from well over 25 years ago and it still resonates in me. That fucker, I think. Fuck him.
of course, I’m guilty of equal or worse disloyalties along the way. If loyalty weren’t such an intensely important subject, I doubt I’d still be able to “feel” a minor betrayal from a quarter century and longer ago.
Loyalty to spouse is just one of many potentially conflicting loyalty issues; loyalty to country, to friends, to work, to family, to self — that can make life difficult to navigate….fortunately, we all have this book to help us.
June 12, 2011 at 8:36 AM #703857Participantyesterday i read just the first ten pages of a new book by ERIC FELTEN (a wall st. j. writer) called LOYALTY, THE VEXING VIRTUE. And it was pretty deep.
So deep and interesting that i am going to remain loyal to my impulse and continue reading until I finish the book.
Unless I get bored halfway through, in which case, my loyalty to the book may waiver and i may betray my initial intention to finish the book.
But seriously, it’s a really interesting book on an important subject.
I know I still a recall a relatively petty disloyalty by a “friend” of mine from well over 25 years ago and it still resonates in me. That fucker, I think. Fuck him.
of course, I’m guilty of equal or worse disloyalties along the way. If loyalty weren’t such an intensely important subject, I doubt I’d still be able to “feel” a minor betrayal from a quarter century and longer ago.
Loyalty to spouse is just one of many potentially conflicting loyalty issues; loyalty to country, to friends, to work, to family, to self — that can make life difficult to navigate….fortunately, we all have this book to help us.
June 12, 2011 at 8:37 AM #702664Participantalthough i did peek ahead a little and it appears there are no firm answers.
June 12, 2011 at 8:37 AM #702764Participantalthough i did peek ahead a little and it appears there are no firm answers.
June 12, 2011 at 8:37 AM #703355Participantalthough i did peek ahead a little and it appears there are no firm answers.
June 12, 2011 at 8:37 AM #703503Participantalthough i did peek ahead a little and it appears there are no firm answers.
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