OT: How much baggage will you accept?

[FlyerInHi]

I live in my own fairy tale.

My next career goal is to become a house husband. I love the looks I get then I say that “in your dreams only”.

[NotCranky]

[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]

Cynicism is baggage too, you know?[/quote]

I was being funny[/quote]
Man am I dumb, oh well, she married me anyway.

[FlyerInHi]

Being dumb is not baggage.

[kev374]

It’s not hard in life to avoid baggage. For most people it holds true that if they have baggage it’s due to bad decisions they have made.

People who took out way too much debt for school with no chance of paying it off in a reasonable timeframe.

People who got directly or indirectly scammed (either due to sheer stupidity or greed)

People who lived above their means

People who are in trouble because they co-signed for other delinquents or somehow support the behavior of other delinquents.

People who have serious emotional issues (Borderline personality disorders, Bi-polar etc.)

Now, if you accidently hit a car on the freeway and now are being sued beyond what your insurance will cover then I can maybe sympathize…it’s an unforseeable event and could happen to anyone. If you are being sued because you signed fraudulent paperwork, then claim ignorance and then vehemently deny that any of it is your fault and then expect unconditional support…well, tough luck!

There are guys who are desperate enough to marry just about anyone..my ex ex GF had a student loan balance of $70,000 7 odd years out of school and made only $34k/yr. It was revealed that most of this debt was acquired through extravagant “living expenses” in college and of course she justified it as well. In addition she lived way above her means and had close to $0 in the bank (paycheck to paycheck living)

Just like many women here in Orange County she felt she was just entitled to have an expensive wedding, raise a large family, be a stay at home mom etc. and the expectation was that her mate would pick up the pieces…nevermind the fact that she had not done any diligence with her financial affairs to prepare for all the things that she wanted.

Now, found out she is just engaged to some bloke. Well, what was unacceptable to me was apparently acceptable to him so, there IS indeed someone for everyone I guess…

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=flu]What happens if you are me and you are the baggage? Lol…[/quote]

If you must be baggage, be carry on.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=kev374]It’s not hard in life to avoid baggage. For most people it holds true that if they have baggage it’s due to bad decisions they have made.

People who took out way too much debt for school with no chance of paying it off in a reasonable timeframe.

People who got directly or indirectly scammed (either due to sheer stupidity or greed)

People who lived above their means

People who are in trouble because they co-signed for other delinquents or somehow support the behavior of other delinquents.

People who have serious emotional issues (Borderline personality disorders, Bi-polar etc.)

Now, if you accidently hit a car on the freeway and now are being sued beyond what your insurance will cover then I can maybe sympathize…it’s an unforseeable event and could happen to anyone. If you are being sued because you signed fraudulent paperwork, then claim ignorance and then vehemently deny that any of it is your fault and then expect unconditional support…well, tough luck!

There are guys who are desperate enough to marry just about anyone..my ex ex GF had a student loan balance of $70,000 7 odd years out of school and made only $34k/yr. It was revealed that most of this debt was acquired through extravagant “living expenses” in college and of course she justified it as well. In addition she lived way above her means and had close to $0 in the bank (paycheck to paycheck living)

Just like many women here in Orange County she felt she was just entitled to have an expensive wedding, raise a large family, be a stay at home mom etc. and the expectation was that her mate would pick up the pieces…nevermind the fact that she had not done any diligence with her financial affairs to prepare for all the things that she wanted.

Now, found out she is just engaged to some bloke. Well, what was unacceptable to me was apparently acceptable to him so, there IS indeed someone for everyone I guess…[/quote]

I blame the student loan industry.

There’s something to be said for young dumb love. Once you start crunching numbers this whole marriage thing is often a losing proposition.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]

Cynicism is baggage too, you know?[/quote]

I was being funny[/quote]

believe me, your future wife won’t find you funny, if your life unwinds like mine.

[scaredyclassic]

At least mail order brides don’t come with collectible debt.

[FlyerInHi]

[quote=scaredyclassic]If people were completely objective andrational they’d never hook up.[/quote]

Well, here, this conversation is academic. Like good academics that we are, the answers are with the proviso “all else being equal”.

All else being equal, you would prefer to select a person without baggage.

But there could be a situation where I would deal with baggage, if the person is extraordinary enough that dealing with the baggage becomes worth it.

It would also depend on the baggage itself. A drug addict would be too much baggage. But a crazy family could be dealt with. You can move away… and if they ask for money, you can always say no.

[flyer]

+1 on the amazing wife. Sounds like we were all very lucky to have met “the one” who was right for us.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=flyer]+1 on the amazing wife. Sounds like we were all very lucky to have met “the one” who was right for us.[/quote]

Au contraire. Luck doesn’t enter into it. G-D is in control.

[flyer]

Either way, it’s great.

[svelte]

[quote=Blogstar]I had more baggage than LAX when I was young, or at least I perceived myself that way. I had problems. It wasn’t my fault I was born into the non-family that I was with all the violence drinking bad acts of all kinds and divorce and death. I know I am the only pigg who spent time in a black head of household foster home.But that all that makes a stigma that is hard to break through. I held it against myself and It was held against me.

I had to have more years of reputable adulthood under my belt than other people did to be taken seriously. Lots of women needed life experience to figure out what was important and possibly buck their judgemental parents. It was hard. [/quote]

I can imagine an environment like yours would take awhile to shake off once you reached adulthood. It took me awhile to gain confidence in myself and I had a very good environment growing up.

Wear it like a badge, Blog. That you came out the other end and succeeded in life is a testimony to your strength, moreso than my success is mine.

Cheers, friend.

[NotCranky]

Thanks, Svelte, that’s very kind of you.

[scaredyclassic]

a child is such a tender tendril. little tiny slights can be so so painful.

i always called my little ones tendrils and tried to be sensitive to their extreme tenderness

[Author]

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