How much does it really cost to raise kids?

[lifeisgood]

First of all thanks for everyones comments on this topic. As suspected, most people that utilize this forum do a bang up job with their hard earned money and make good decisions when it comes to buying stuff for their children. I’m not saying that you can not have different priorities as to what you feel is important to splurge on, but that I think that a lot of parents in this city and many others do not think like most of you. I think there is sometimes an unrealistic standard that a lot of parents feel they need to live by when raising their chidren. My wife and I have many friends from many different financial situations. It’s very apparent that there is some competition amongst many of them when it comes to selecting items and activities that they deem important. As far as sports and other activities, I also believe in letting my children try things out. Some parents do not know when to remove their uniterested child from these activities. I would not let my child sit at home on the couch and do nothing all day either. After two years of little league, it was apparent that my son was just going through the motions. He did not play the next year where many of the other uninterested children were forced to by their parents.

[desmond]

[quote=no_such_reality]Is the rear seat DVD playing entertainment center in the mini-van spoiling the kids or spoiling mom & dad?

Or is it merely a matter of survival when the child gets fussing on the long road trip?[/quote]

Take it from Gregory Peck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffUEnqy0_Cs

[lifeisgood]

[quote=poorgradstudent]Honestly, the people who waste money on their kids aren’t people we need to worry about. They’re the top 10% and 1% of income earners, people who will be able to afford to send their kid to whatever college and will have reasonably comfortable retirements. It’s not the poor families having modest birthday parties at Mission Bay on the weekends that are buying fancy clothes and diaper bags for their babies.

I disagree. This is exactly what I’m talking about. These poorer people are the people buying fancy clothes and diaper bags for their babies. Again, most people on this forum do not fall into this category. You have to admit that this city and many other have a keeping up with the Jones’ mentality. We CAN raise our children cheaper, without keeping them from growing mentally and physically, if we really wanted to.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=lifeisgood]I disagree. This is exactly what I’m talking about. These poorer people are the people buying fancy clothes and diaper bags for their babies. Again, most people on this forum do not fall into this category. You have to admit that this city and many other have a keeping up with the Jones’ mentality. We CAN raise our children cheaper, without keeping them from growing mentally and physically, if we really wanted to.[/quote]

lifeisgood, I’m not sure where you go to the beach but visiting Mexicans use nearly all the beaches in SD County for their family parties …. notably Coronado and major San Diego and South County parks.

If you have ever visited a mall in South County during a 4-8 hr Macy’s sale (we have two Macy’s), you will see hundreds of Mexican license plates and hundreds of customers from across the border snapping up designer goods of all types by the dozens. A typical shoe order in these sales is 8-12 prs at one time. The fine jewelry and fine handbag counters are flooded three deep. The children’s departments have long lines. It’s like a fire-sale or garage sale in there with everything on the floor by 2:00 pm. I’ve also seen hundreds of them in Fashion Valley on a weekend (which has many stores selling designer goods).

These customers are paying in cash. The vast majority do not have US-based addresses to get American credit cards. How can they do this, you ask?? They have the best of both worlds. One or more adults from their household are working in SD County and they live in Mexico, crossing the border daily with Sentry passes for work and leisure.

You have to understand that a typical SFR rent or mortgage in MX is $275 – $675 month. And that is only for the 50% or so portion that DON’T own their houses outright. Depending on where they live, they often don’t have homeowners insurance or property taxes. They pay for medical care at a much lower cash price or forego it altogether (no insurance premiums). They don’t have fibre optic in the streets and access to 500 channels to pay for like we do. The law in MX only requires them to carry $3000 in liability insurance on their vehicles (total of property damage and medical pymts). They bring these limits of liability with them into the US nearly every day.

Do these millions of shoppers have discretionary income and are they influenced by American trends and fashion shown on television and in magazines? Yes and yes.

Remember that Mexicans come in all shades of caucasian! It’s impossible to tell visiting Mexicans from Americans. You might just be seeing a cultural phenomenon that is easily explained by where SD lies on the map!

I believe that in many ways they have it better than us.

[bearishgurl]

The “greater Tijuana (BC) area” has a population in excess of 3M.

[flyer]

Having raised our kids to adulthood in what might be perceived as a “entitled” area, I think it’s all about the values you instill in them as a parent, regardless of your financial situation.

As many others have mentioned, we exposed them to everything, but, as they got older, we made sure that, with our guidance, they knew they had to clearly decide the path their lives would take.

Although they had fun, we made sure they didn’t view school and other activities as lifetime hobbies, (as it seems many do today) but, rather, as a means to an end.

We’ve seen many friends who raised their kids with a sense of entitlement (whether they could afford it or not), but no clear direction or values. Talk about a recipe for disaster.

They ended up with kids who barely made it through college, if at all, who can do nothing, and are now back living at home, with no plan for the future, and all of them are pretty miserable.

IMHO, helping your kids find their chosen path in life is probably the best way to “spoil” your kids, and the greatest gift you can give
them–and yourself. At least it worked for us.

[scaredyclassic]

It costs about most of what you have, financially, mentally and physically.

[SK in CV]

[quote=flyer]
IMHO, helping your kids find their chosen path in life is probably the best way to “spoil” your kids, and the greatest gift you can give
them–and yourself. At least it worked for us.[/quote]

Agree entirely with this. Agree with the unquoted part too, but this in particular is spot on.

[no_such_reality]

[quote=desmond][quote=no_such_reality]Is the rear seat DVD playing entertainment center in the mini-van spoiling the kids or spoiling mom & dad?

Or is it merely a matter of survival when the child gets fussing on the long road trip?[/quote]

Take it from Gregory Peck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffUEnqy0_Cs%5B/quote%5D

This is California, half the other drivers will dial 911 from a handheld cell phone to report you to CPS.

[sdduuuude]

I’ve always said that kids cost alot less than I expected. But they take more time than I expected, also. Giving them time is a better investment, methinks.

[scaredyclassic]

i think they kind of cost a lot. you need a bigger place, a bigger car…your wife takes off work…she wants to give them organic food. they need money for this, for that…it adds up to a lot.

on the other hand, I would be a lot broker if I hadn’t had kids, because it would have been difficult for me to get out of bed and go to work every damn day for several decades without some sort of extreme impetus, like an infant…focusses the mind…

for pure entertainment value, they’re a good deal…

[ltsddd]

[quote=flyer]Having raised our kids to adulthood in what might be perceived as a “entitled” area, I think it’s all about the values you instill in them as a parent, regardless of your financial situation.

As many others have mentioned, we exposed them to everything, but, as they got older, we made sure that, with our guidance, they knew they had to clearly decide the path their lives would take.

Although they had fun, we made sure they didn’t view school and other activities as lifetime hobbies, (as it seems many do today) but, rather, as a means to an end.

We’ve seen many friends who raised their kids with a sense of entitlement (whether they could afford it or not), but no clear direction or values. Talk about a recipe for disaster.

They ended up with kids who barely made it through college, if at all, who can do nothing, and are now back living at home, with no plan for the future, and all of them are pretty miserable.

IMHO, helping your kids find their chosen path in life is probably the best way to “spoil” your kids, and the greatest gift you can give
them–and yourself. At least it worked for us.[/quote]

Flyer,
Well said. I do think college is important but that may not necessary the be-all-end-all thing. I think it’s more important for the kids to have a clear direction of what they want in life and go for it. I consider myself blessed in that so far my kids have done alright. My youngest will be off to college (no it won’t cost us $250K/year) after this summer. It’s a mixed feeling, to some extend there’s a sense of relieve more than anything else, but then I think it’ll be strange to not have any of them around the house. Time flies.

[svelte]

How much does it really cost to raise kids?

It cost me all of my hair.

And I’d still be losing more if I could. Just cuz they are 21 doesn’t mean they stop adding stress to my life. But at least I can shrug and say “it’s your problem now, bud”.

This has been a rough month…

[flyer]

Empathize with all of you, and wish your kids the best–wherever their paths may lead them!

[bearishgurl]

[quote=svelte]How much does it really cost to raise kids?

It cost me all of my hair.

And I’d still be losing more if I could. Just cuz they are 21 doesn’t mean they stop adding stress to my life. But at least I can shrug and say “it’s your problem now, bud”.

This has been a rough month…[/quote]

LOL…

[Author]

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