Affairs of the heart…

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

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