Affairs of the heart…

[admin]

Two questions for you finanically saavy men on here:

Here goes, one of the men I’m dating has brought up a pre-nup. Not thinking about marriage, just started dating him but he brought it up and made his position known. He’s in favor of one. So, he obviously has money. He asked me how I felt. What he needs to understand is I don’t give a…(you fill in the blank)about whatever money he has. For the questions:

1) How many of you would/have considered a prenup?

2) This is more of a concern rather than a question: I’ve been on about 4 dates with this guy in question and it’s been to the movies and a light lunch and a couple of drinks. He’s paid for mostly all.

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now. Traslation: a really nice date. Hasn’t happened yet. Upon his own prodding about what it would take to make me realize how much he likes me, I suggested that he impress me with that nice date. That’s where it got weird. His response was “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” (although he was careful not to offend me). I was thinking wtf?? I just want a nice date with him footing the bill to show me his interest is real-although he professes up and down that it is. Not a trip to the beach where we run to the 7eleven for hot dogs and soda…

Am I being unreasonable?

Note: I do believe in a man and woman sharing cost when you move on to the dating someone regularly stage.

(this is an off-topic area so hope this post is ok).

[kewp]

1) No way in hell would I get married without a prenup. Especially in Shallow-fornia.

2) Maybe the guy is sick of gold-digging women? It costs zero dollars to really connect with someone on an emotional level, which might be what he’s looking for.

Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Kemp: “Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.”

I would agree with that, but one nice date at a restaurant that charges less than $50 bucks for a plate and a nice excursion to the zoo or museum. “ONE” nice date. Is that too much to ask? Does that make me a gold-digger? If he could’t afford it, I wouldn’t even be concerned, but he obviously can.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Marion: This guy has had the hammer dropped on him before. His request for a pre-nup, combined with his strong reaction to your suggestion regarding a “nice” dinner would certainly suggest he has been put through the wringer by some woman in his past and is absolutely certain he won’t let it happen again.

While, as a man, I certainly hear what you are saying as regards a “nice” dinner, I also (as a man) agree with what Kewp said regarding manipulation and moral suasion. You have to be careful with someone like this (your date, not Kewp), given what has undoubtedly happened in his past.

I would certainly recommend some specificity with him as to what constitutes a nice date, and with the caveat that you are looking for something more in terms of the event, not the cost.

[Anonymous]

I’m not even gunna lie. He knows my education level, he knows my credentials. I’m not some 25 year old working at Costco that has dreams of babies and elaborate weddings with 12 bridesmaids and needs to be taken care of. So, yes, I was offended as hell.

[Anonymous]

I’m not even gunna lie. He knows my education level, he knows my credentials. I’m not some 25 year old working at Costco that has dreams of babies and elaborate weddings with 12 bridesmaids and needs to be taken care of. So, yes, I was offended as hell.

[Anonymous]

I’m not even gunna lie. He knows my education level, he knows my credentials. I’m not some 25 year old working at Costco that has dreams of babies and elaborate weddings with 12 bridesmaids and needs to be taken care of. So, yes, I was offended as hell.

[Anonymous]

I’m not even gunna lie. He knows my education level, he knows my credentials. I’m not some 25 year old working at Costco that has dreams of babies and elaborate weddings with 12 bridesmaids and needs to be taken care of. So, yes, I was offended as hell.

[Anonymous]

I’m not even gunna lie. He knows my education level, he knows my credentials. I’m not some 25 year old working at Costco that has dreams of babies and elaborate weddings with 12 bridesmaids and needs to be taken care of. So, yes, I was offended as hell.

[kev374]

I would not sign prenups and I do have assets of my own. But then again I wouldn’t marry anyone I couldn’t absolutely trust my life with so….

If you feel the need to sign a prenup then you’re not ready to get married to that person, just my $0.02.

Additionally, I don’t try to impress ANY woman. My regular self should be enough for her to like me otherwise it’s not worth it!

[kev374]

I would not sign prenups and I do have assets of my own. But then again I wouldn’t marry anyone I couldn’t absolutely trust my life with so….

If you feel the need to sign a prenup then you’re not ready to get married to that person, just my $0.02.

Additionally, I don’t try to impress ANY woman. My regular self should be enough for her to like me otherwise it’s not worth it!

[kev374]

I would not sign prenups and I do have assets of my own. But then again I wouldn’t marry anyone I couldn’t absolutely trust my life with so….

If you feel the need to sign a prenup then you’re not ready to get married to that person, just my $0.02.

Additionally, I don’t try to impress ANY woman. My regular self should be enough for her to like me otherwise it’s not worth it!

[kev374]

I would not sign prenups and I do have assets of my own. But then again I wouldn’t marry anyone I couldn’t absolutely trust my life with so….

If you feel the need to sign a prenup then you’re not ready to get married to that person, just my $0.02.

Additionally, I don’t try to impress ANY woman. My regular self should be enough for her to like me otherwise it’s not worth it!

[kev374]

I would not sign prenups and I do have assets of my own. But then again I wouldn’t marry anyone I couldn’t absolutely trust my life with so….

If you feel the need to sign a prenup then you’re not ready to get married to that person, just my $0.02.

Additionally, I don’t try to impress ANY woman. My regular self should be enough for her to like me otherwise it’s not worth it!

[cooperthedog]

Why do you question his interest in you after he professes it and more importantly, would simply loosening the purse strings allay your doubts?

You must care about whatever money he has just a *little* bit. What if the guy makes minimum wage (or is a real estate “investor”), and can’t afford a really nice date?

Also, what you describe almost sounds like you require some sort of earnest money to be put up in the form of a nice date – “proving” his interest in you is “real”.

I think some women are conditioned to expect a lavish date as a sign of how much a suitor cares for them. If you’re of that mindset consider the relativeness of the “nice date”. For example, if your suitor was poor, a really nice date could be construed as a real sacrifice on his part to please you. Assuming the gentlemen has alot of money, what would a really nice date prove? Maybe casual dates are his way of making a meaningful connection with you.

If he really does care for you, he will have learned enough about you from your past conversations to eventually come up with something special, regardless of how much it costs.

As for the prenup, I would consider it as another form of insurance for my assets. At the outset, no one plans for their home to burn down, crash their car, or get a divorce. Not having insurance in the first two instances is considered very foolish, why not the third?

[cooperthedog]

Why do you question his interest in you after he professes it and more importantly, would simply loosening the purse strings allay your doubts?

You must care about whatever money he has just a *little* bit. What if the guy makes minimum wage (or is a real estate “investor”), and can’t afford a really nice date?

Also, what you describe almost sounds like you require some sort of earnest money to be put up in the form of a nice date – “proving” his interest in you is “real”.

I think some women are conditioned to expect a lavish date as a sign of how much a suitor cares for them. If you’re of that mindset consider the relativeness of the “nice date”. For example, if your suitor was poor, a really nice date could be construed as a real sacrifice on his part to please you. Assuming the gentlemen has alot of money, what would a really nice date prove? Maybe casual dates are his way of making a meaningful connection with you.

If he really does care for you, he will have learned enough about you from your past conversations to eventually come up with something special, regardless of how much it costs.

As for the prenup, I would consider it as another form of insurance for my assets. At the outset, no one plans for their home to burn down, crash their car, or get a divorce. Not having insurance in the first two instances is considered very foolish, why not the third?

[cooperthedog]

Why do you question his interest in you after he professes it and more importantly, would simply loosening the purse strings allay your doubts?

You must care about whatever money he has just a *little* bit. What if the guy makes minimum wage (or is a real estate “investor”), and can’t afford a really nice date?

Also, what you describe almost sounds like you require some sort of earnest money to be put up in the form of a nice date – “proving” his interest in you is “real”.

I think some women are conditioned to expect a lavish date as a sign of how much a suitor cares for them. If you’re of that mindset consider the relativeness of the “nice date”. For example, if your suitor was poor, a really nice date could be construed as a real sacrifice on his part to please you. Assuming the gentlemen has alot of money, what would a really nice date prove? Maybe casual dates are his way of making a meaningful connection with you.

If he really does care for you, he will have learned enough about you from your past conversations to eventually come up with something special, regardless of how much it costs.

As for the prenup, I would consider it as another form of insurance for my assets. At the outset, no one plans for their home to burn down, crash their car, or get a divorce. Not having insurance in the first two instances is considered very foolish, why not the third?

[cooperthedog]

Why do you question his interest in you after he professes it and more importantly, would simply loosening the purse strings allay your doubts?

You must care about whatever money he has just a *little* bit. What if the guy makes minimum wage (or is a real estate “investor”), and can’t afford a really nice date?

Also, what you describe almost sounds like you require some sort of earnest money to be put up in the form of a nice date – “proving” his interest in you is “real”.

I think some women are conditioned to expect a lavish date as a sign of how much a suitor cares for them. If you’re of that mindset consider the relativeness of the “nice date”. For example, if your suitor was poor, a really nice date could be construed as a real sacrifice on his part to please you. Assuming the gentlemen has alot of money, what would a really nice date prove? Maybe casual dates are his way of making a meaningful connection with you.

If he really does care for you, he will have learned enough about you from your past conversations to eventually come up with something special, regardless of how much it costs.

As for the prenup, I would consider it as another form of insurance for my assets. At the outset, no one plans for their home to burn down, crash their car, or get a divorce. Not having insurance in the first two instances is considered very foolish, why not the third?

[cooperthedog]

Why do you question his interest in you after he professes it and more importantly, would simply loosening the purse strings allay your doubts?

You must care about whatever money he has just a *little* bit. What if the guy makes minimum wage (or is a real estate “investor”), and can’t afford a really nice date?

Also, what you describe almost sounds like you require some sort of earnest money to be put up in the form of a nice date – “proving” his interest in you is “real”.

I think some women are conditioned to expect a lavish date as a sign of how much a suitor cares for them. If you’re of that mindset consider the relativeness of the “nice date”. For example, if your suitor was poor, a really nice date could be construed as a real sacrifice on his part to please you. Assuming the gentlemen has alot of money, what would a really nice date prove? Maybe casual dates are his way of making a meaningful connection with you.

If he really does care for you, he will have learned enough about you from your past conversations to eventually come up with something special, regardless of how much it costs.

As for the prenup, I would consider it as another form of insurance for my assets. At the outset, no one plans for their home to burn down, crash their car, or get a divorce. Not having insurance in the first two instances is considered very foolish, why not the third?

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Marion: This guy has had the hammer dropped on him before. His request for a pre-nup, combined with his strong reaction to your suggestion regarding a “nice” dinner would certainly suggest he has been put through the wringer by some woman in his past and is absolutely certain he won’t let it happen again.

While, as a man, I certainly hear what you are saying as regards a “nice” dinner, I also (as a man) agree with what Kewp said regarding manipulation and moral suasion. You have to be careful with someone like this (your date, not Kewp), given what has undoubtedly happened in his past.

I would certainly recommend some specificity with him as to what constitutes a nice date, and with the caveat that you are looking for something more in terms of the event, not the cost.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Marion: This guy has had the hammer dropped on him before. His request for a pre-nup, combined with his strong reaction to your suggestion regarding a “nice” dinner would certainly suggest he has been put through the wringer by some woman in his past and is absolutely certain he won’t let it happen again.

While, as a man, I certainly hear what you are saying as regards a “nice” dinner, I also (as a man) agree with what Kewp said regarding manipulation and moral suasion. You have to be careful with someone like this (your date, not Kewp), given what has undoubtedly happened in his past.

I would certainly recommend some specificity with him as to what constitutes a nice date, and with the caveat that you are looking for something more in terms of the event, not the cost.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Marion: This guy has had the hammer dropped on him before. His request for a pre-nup, combined with his strong reaction to your suggestion regarding a “nice” dinner would certainly suggest he has been put through the wringer by some woman in his past and is absolutely certain he won’t let it happen again.

While, as a man, I certainly hear what you are saying as regards a “nice” dinner, I also (as a man) agree with what Kewp said regarding manipulation and moral suasion. You have to be careful with someone like this (your date, not Kewp), given what has undoubtedly happened in his past.

I would certainly recommend some specificity with him as to what constitutes a nice date, and with the caveat that you are looking for something more in terms of the event, not the cost.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Marion: This guy has had the hammer dropped on him before. His request for a pre-nup, combined with his strong reaction to your suggestion regarding a “nice” dinner would certainly suggest he has been put through the wringer by some woman in his past and is absolutely certain he won’t let it happen again.

While, as a man, I certainly hear what you are saying as regards a “nice” dinner, I also (as a man) agree with what Kewp said regarding manipulation and moral suasion. You have to be careful with someone like this (your date, not Kewp), given what has undoubtedly happened in his past.

I would certainly recommend some specificity with him as to what constitutes a nice date, and with the caveat that you are looking for something more in terms of the event, not the cost.

[CBad]

Just because he wants a pre-nup, doesn’t mean he’s loaded. He just wants to keep whatever he has. Sounds like he’s pretty stingy all around is my initial take. Also sounds like he’s has some history with women using him.

I haven’t dated in 12 years so I’m hardly an expert with being ‘out there’. When I was younger, I was more impressed with a ‘nice’ date or even what car I was picked up in. Now, I wouldn’t care because it’s all superficial. As long as I was enjoying myself on the date and connecting with the man, I wouldn’t care how much $$ was being thrown around.

I think you should have been more specific with your request since it doesn’t seem like you wanted anything unreasonable. He might have been put off by you saying ‘really nice date’ which could have meant to him that so far your dates have been ‘really NOT nice’. Why not just say, ‘I’d love it if we could go to XYZ’?

I guess I’m old-fashioned because I never paid $$ on a date. Well that’s not true, I did one time. I went to the movies with this guy and he wanted to go dutch. So I paid for my ticket and saw the movie I wanted to see without him, LOL!!

[JWM in SD]

I’ll echo the sentiments of some of the others and add my own insights.

I don’t think you were out of line with wanting a “nice date”. As others have pointed out, some additional clarification was probably necessary. 5 – 7 years ago I was on the dating scence pretty frequently and ran into women who exhibited some of the same skittish qualities, and well beyond sometimes, so I don’t think this is exclusive to men.

When I was dating back then, I never did an expensive date until the 2nd or 3rd date when I felt there was some chemistry there. Even then, it was a place of my choosing. The way I looked at it, was that if there was a nice restaurant that had not been to before or really enjoyed, then why not take some company and share that experience. That being said, I wasn’t buying cristal and lobster. I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago 😉

[Anonymous]

JWM: “I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago ;-)”

JWM, congrats on your son! Pretty nice ending there so far. 🙂

[Anonymous]

JWM: “I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago ;-)”

JWM, congrats on your son! Pretty nice ending there so far. 🙂

[Anonymous]

JWM: “I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago ;-)”

JWM, congrats on your son! Pretty nice ending there so far. 🙂

[Anonymous]

JWM: “I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago ;-)”

JWM, congrats on your son! Pretty nice ending there so far. 🙂

[Anonymous]

JWM: “I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago ;-)”

JWM, congrats on your son! Pretty nice ending there so far. 🙂

[JWM in SD]

I’ll echo the sentiments of some of the others and add my own insights.

I don’t think you were out of line with wanting a “nice date”. As others have pointed out, some additional clarification was probably necessary. 5 – 7 years ago I was on the dating scence pretty frequently and ran into women who exhibited some of the same skittish qualities, and well beyond sometimes, so I don’t think this is exclusive to men.

When I was dating back then, I never did an expensive date until the 2nd or 3rd date when I felt there was some chemistry there. Even then, it was a place of my choosing. The way I looked at it, was that if there was a nice restaurant that had not been to before or really enjoyed, then why not take some company and share that experience. That being said, I wasn’t buying cristal and lobster. I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago 😉

[JWM in SD]

I’ll echo the sentiments of some of the others and add my own insights.

I don’t think you were out of line with wanting a “nice date”. As others have pointed out, some additional clarification was probably necessary. 5 – 7 years ago I was on the dating scence pretty frequently and ran into women who exhibited some of the same skittish qualities, and well beyond sometimes, so I don’t think this is exclusive to men.

When I was dating back then, I never did an expensive date until the 2nd or 3rd date when I felt there was some chemistry there. Even then, it was a place of my choosing. The way I looked at it, was that if there was a nice restaurant that had not been to before or really enjoyed, then why not take some company and share that experience. That being said, I wasn’t buying cristal and lobster. I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago 😉

[JWM in SD]

I’ll echo the sentiments of some of the others and add my own insights.

I don’t think you were out of line with wanting a “nice date”. As others have pointed out, some additional clarification was probably necessary. 5 – 7 years ago I was on the dating scence pretty frequently and ran into women who exhibited some of the same skittish qualities, and well beyond sometimes, so I don’t think this is exclusive to men.

When I was dating back then, I never did an expensive date until the 2nd or 3rd date when I felt there was some chemistry there. Even then, it was a place of my choosing. The way I looked at it, was that if there was a nice restaurant that had not been to before or really enjoyed, then why not take some company and share that experience. That being said, I wasn’t buying cristal and lobster. I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago 😉

[JWM in SD]

I’ll echo the sentiments of some of the others and add my own insights.

I don’t think you were out of line with wanting a “nice date”. As others have pointed out, some additional clarification was probably necessary. 5 – 7 years ago I was on the dating scence pretty frequently and ran into women who exhibited some of the same skittish qualities, and well beyond sometimes, so I don’t think this is exclusive to men.

When I was dating back then, I never did an expensive date until the 2nd or 3rd date when I felt there was some chemistry there. Even then, it was a place of my choosing. The way I looked at it, was that if there was a nice restaurant that had not been to before or really enjoyed, then why not take some company and share that experience. That being said, I wasn’t buying cristal and lobster. I think the most I ever spent, this was back in Chicago, was $150 for dinner at a Brazilian Churrascaria called Fogo de Chao. My date must have been suitably impressed because got married a year later and just had our first born son two weeks ago 😉

[CBad]

Just because he wants a pre-nup, doesn’t mean he’s loaded. He just wants to keep whatever he has. Sounds like he’s pretty stingy all around is my initial take. Also sounds like he’s has some history with women using him.

I haven’t dated in 12 years so I’m hardly an expert with being ‘out there’. When I was younger, I was more impressed with a ‘nice’ date or even what car I was picked up in. Now, I wouldn’t care because it’s all superficial. As long as I was enjoying myself on the date and connecting with the man, I wouldn’t care how much $$ was being thrown around.

I think you should have been more specific with your request since it doesn’t seem like you wanted anything unreasonable. He might have been put off by you saying ‘really nice date’ which could have meant to him that so far your dates have been ‘really NOT nice’. Why not just say, ‘I’d love it if we could go to XYZ’?

I guess I’m old-fashioned because I never paid $$ on a date. Well that’s not true, I did one time. I went to the movies with this guy and he wanted to go dutch. So I paid for my ticket and saw the movie I wanted to see without him, LOL!!

[CBad]

Just because he wants a pre-nup, doesn’t mean he’s loaded. He just wants to keep whatever he has. Sounds like he’s pretty stingy all around is my initial take. Also sounds like he’s has some history with women using him.

I haven’t dated in 12 years so I’m hardly an expert with being ‘out there’. When I was younger, I was more impressed with a ‘nice’ date or even what car I was picked up in. Now, I wouldn’t care because it’s all superficial. As long as I was enjoying myself on the date and connecting with the man, I wouldn’t care how much $$ was being thrown around.

I think you should have been more specific with your request since it doesn’t seem like you wanted anything unreasonable. He might have been put off by you saying ‘really nice date’ which could have meant to him that so far your dates have been ‘really NOT nice’. Why not just say, ‘I’d love it if we could go to XYZ’?

I guess I’m old-fashioned because I never paid $$ on a date. Well that’s not true, I did one time. I went to the movies with this guy and he wanted to go dutch. So I paid for my ticket and saw the movie I wanted to see without him, LOL!!

[CBad]

Just because he wants a pre-nup, doesn’t mean he’s loaded. He just wants to keep whatever he has. Sounds like he’s pretty stingy all around is my initial take. Also sounds like he’s has some history with women using him.

I haven’t dated in 12 years so I’m hardly an expert with being ‘out there’. When I was younger, I was more impressed with a ‘nice’ date or even what car I was picked up in. Now, I wouldn’t care because it’s all superficial. As long as I was enjoying myself on the date and connecting with the man, I wouldn’t care how much $$ was being thrown around.

I think you should have been more specific with your request since it doesn’t seem like you wanted anything unreasonable. He might have been put off by you saying ‘really nice date’ which could have meant to him that so far your dates have been ‘really NOT nice’. Why not just say, ‘I’d love it if we could go to XYZ’?

I guess I’m old-fashioned because I never paid $$ on a date. Well that’s not true, I did one time. I went to the movies with this guy and he wanted to go dutch. So I paid for my ticket and saw the movie I wanted to see without him, LOL!!

[CBad]

Just because he wants a pre-nup, doesn’t mean he’s loaded. He just wants to keep whatever he has. Sounds like he’s pretty stingy all around is my initial take. Also sounds like he’s has some history with women using him.

I haven’t dated in 12 years so I’m hardly an expert with being ‘out there’. When I was younger, I was more impressed with a ‘nice’ date or even what car I was picked up in. Now, I wouldn’t care because it’s all superficial. As long as I was enjoying myself on the date and connecting with the man, I wouldn’t care how much $$ was being thrown around.

I think you should have been more specific with your request since it doesn’t seem like you wanted anything unreasonable. He might have been put off by you saying ‘really nice date’ which could have meant to him that so far your dates have been ‘really NOT nice’. Why not just say, ‘I’d love it if we could go to XYZ’?

I guess I’m old-fashioned because I never paid $$ on a date. Well that’s not true, I did one time. I went to the movies with this guy and he wanted to go dutch. So I paid for my ticket and saw the movie I wanted to see without him, LOL!!

[Anonymous]

Kemp: “Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.”

I would agree with that, but one nice date at a restaurant that charges less than $50 bucks for a plate and a nice excursion to the zoo or museum. “ONE” nice date. Is that too much to ask? Does that make me a gold-digger? If he could’t afford it, I wouldn’t even be concerned, but he obviously can.

[Anonymous]

Kemp: “Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.”

I would agree with that, but one nice date at a restaurant that charges less than $50 bucks for a plate and a nice excursion to the zoo or museum. “ONE” nice date. Is that too much to ask? Does that make me a gold-digger? If he could’t afford it, I wouldn’t even be concerned, but he obviously can.

[Anonymous]

Kemp: “Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.”

I would agree with that, but one nice date at a restaurant that charges less than $50 bucks for a plate and a nice excursion to the zoo or museum. “ONE” nice date. Is that too much to ask? Does that make me a gold-digger? If he could’t afford it, I wouldn’t even be concerned, but he obviously can.

[Anonymous]

Kemp: “Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.”

I would agree with that, but one nice date at a restaurant that charges less than $50 bucks for a plate and a nice excursion to the zoo or museum. “ONE” nice date. Is that too much to ask? Does that make me a gold-digger? If he could’t afford it, I wouldn’t even be concerned, but he obviously can.

[kewp]

1) No way in hell would I get married without a prenup. Especially in Shallow-fornia.

2) Maybe the guy is sick of gold-digging women? It costs zero dollars to really connect with someone on an emotional level, which might be what he’s looking for.

Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.

[kewp]

1) No way in hell would I get married without a prenup. Especially in Shallow-fornia.

2) Maybe the guy is sick of gold-digging women? It costs zero dollars to really connect with someone on an emotional level, which might be what he’s looking for.

Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.

[kewp]

1) No way in hell would I get married without a prenup. Especially in Shallow-fornia.

2) Maybe the guy is sick of gold-digging women? It costs zero dollars to really connect with someone on an emotional level, which might be what he’s looking for.

Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.

[kewp]

1) No way in hell would I get married without a prenup. Especially in Shallow-fornia.

2) Maybe the guy is sick of gold-digging women? It costs zero dollars to really connect with someone on an emotional level, which might be what he’s looking for.

Btw, trying to buy a womans affection is considered a bad move these days. It lowers your market value and displays that one is open to manipulation.

[Anonymous]

to clarify: by a nice date, I don’t mean fancy, fancy with lots of money being spent. I just mean a nice restaurant, or maybe a trip to the zoo followed by a nice dinner. Just seems like he’s holding on tight to the purse springs…like maybe he doesn’t want to be taken for a ride. Well, I don’t want to be judged by some other woman’s behavior and it offends/concerns me a bit.

So, if I’m being unreasonable opinions welcome.

About pre-nups, he did ask me if I’d want a pre-nup myself if I had money to bring into a marriage and I did admit I would be inclined in that direction…but, why he would bring this up now I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

to clarify: by a nice date, I don’t mean fancy, fancy with lots of money being spent. I just mean a nice restaurant, or maybe a trip to the zoo followed by a nice dinner. Just seems like he’s holding on tight to the purse springs…like maybe he doesn’t want to be taken for a ride. Well, I don’t want to be judged by some other woman’s behavior and it offends/concerns me a bit.

So, if I’m being unreasonable opinions welcome.

About pre-nups, he did ask me if I’d want a pre-nup myself if I had money to bring into a marriage and I did admit I would be inclined in that direction…but, why he would bring this up now I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

to clarify: by a nice date, I don’t mean fancy, fancy with lots of money being spent. I just mean a nice restaurant, or maybe a trip to the zoo followed by a nice dinner. Just seems like he’s holding on tight to the purse springs…like maybe he doesn’t want to be taken for a ride. Well, I don’t want to be judged by some other woman’s behavior and it offends/concerns me a bit.

So, if I’m being unreasonable opinions welcome.

About pre-nups, he did ask me if I’d want a pre-nup myself if I had money to bring into a marriage and I did admit I would be inclined in that direction…but, why he would bring this up now I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

to clarify: by a nice date, I don’t mean fancy, fancy with lots of money being spent. I just mean a nice restaurant, or maybe a trip to the zoo followed by a nice dinner. Just seems like he’s holding on tight to the purse springs…like maybe he doesn’t want to be taken for a ride. Well, I don’t want to be judged by some other woman’s behavior and it offends/concerns me a bit.

So, if I’m being unreasonable opinions welcome.

About pre-nups, he did ask me if I’d want a pre-nup myself if I had money to bring into a marriage and I did admit I would be inclined in that direction…but, why he would bring this up now I have no idea.

[Anonymous]

to clarify: by a nice date, I don’t mean fancy, fancy with lots of money being spent. I just mean a nice restaurant, or maybe a trip to the zoo followed by a nice dinner. Just seems like he’s holding on tight to the purse springs…like maybe he doesn’t want to be taken for a ride. Well, I don’t want to be judged by some other woman’s behavior and it offends/concerns me a bit.

So, if I’m being unreasonable opinions welcome.

About pre-nups, he did ask me if I’d want a pre-nup myself if I had money to bring into a marriage and I did admit I would be inclined in that direction…but, why he would bring this up now I have no idea.

[davelj]

In my opinion, marriage is a bad idea in general. Kids are a worse idea. Marriage without a pre-nup is a horrific idea if you’re the party with the greater amount of assets. In general, marriage is a triumph of hope over observable experience. Having said that…

A man or woman that brings up a pre-nup out of nowhere prior to a serious discussion regarding marriage is extremely odd unless the subject of pre-nups came up independently on its own (like, “I read recently that so-and-so didn’t have a pre-nup…”). A guy that says “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” is also odd, in my opinion. On the other hand, your comment that you “don’t give a blank about whatever money he has” is a lie (conscious or subconscious) 90% of the time it’s uttered.

I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females. Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.

So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.

[Anonymous]

Dave: “So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.”

And you’re wrong now. I don’t care about the money. But, I care about “stingy”. It probably is because someone took him to the cleaners.

One poster on here said they shouldn’t have to “impress” a woman. I said impressed, but I don’t want it to be taken out of context. I’ts not so much I want to be “impressed” as much as I want a man to demonstrate to me I’m worth the effort of being taken somewhere nice and worthwhile.

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …
But his stinginess reminds me of someone. Is his name PerryChase?

[Anonymous]

“Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …”

FormerSanDiegan, I’m loathe to call him stingy. He’s been nice to me. Actually, he has alluded to that. His comment was along the lines of the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses. So, maybe I need to get with the program…

So, in essence, I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets. Is that how it works, boys?

😉

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Yes, I would interpret

… the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses.

as date-speak for

I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets.

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Yes, I would interpret

… the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses.

as date-speak for

I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets.

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Yes, I would interpret

… the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses.

as date-speak for

I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets.

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Yes, I would interpret

… the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses.

as date-speak for

I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets.

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Yes, I would interpret

… the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses.

as date-speak for

I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets.

[davelj]

Marion,

Perhaps I’m wrong (it’s no skin off my back), but another thing I’ve noticed in my life is that 90% of women will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince someone that they’re in the 10% that don’t care about money… all evidence to the contrary. Case in point:

stin·gy (adj.)
1. reluctant to give or spend; not generous: He’s a stingy old miser.
2. scanty or meager: A stingy little income.

Seems like the word “stingy,” at bottom, is ALL about money. I think it’s pretty clear that your comments are not being “taken out of context.” You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the guy to “impress you” with a “nice date” that, as you’ve already explained, you have no intentions of paying for. And, at the same time, you want us to believe that “you don’t care about money.” I must admit, you’ve got quite a challenge on your hands. Do you think this guy describes you as stingy despite the fact that he’s paid for “mostly” all of the dates? That’s a rhetorical question. Women, as a general rule, don’t pay. After all, they might label the man as “stingy.”

Here’s my suggestion: Tell the man that you’d like to go on a nice date and define for him precisely what “nice date” means. Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.

[davelj]

Marion,

Perhaps I’m wrong (it’s no skin off my back), but another thing I’ve noticed in my life is that 90% of women will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince someone that they’re in the 10% that don’t care about money… all evidence to the contrary. Case in point:

stin·gy (adj.)
1. reluctant to give or spend; not generous: He’s a stingy old miser.
2. scanty or meager: A stingy little income.

Seems like the word “stingy,” at bottom, is ALL about money. I think it’s pretty clear that your comments are not being “taken out of context.” You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the guy to “impress you” with a “nice date” that, as you’ve already explained, you have no intentions of paying for. And, at the same time, you want us to believe that “you don’t care about money.” I must admit, you’ve got quite a challenge on your hands. Do you think this guy describes you as stingy despite the fact that he’s paid for “mostly” all of the dates? That’s a rhetorical question. Women, as a general rule, don’t pay. After all, they might label the man as “stingy.”

Here’s my suggestion: Tell the man that you’d like to go on a nice date and define for him precisely what “nice date” means. Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.

[davelj]

Marion,

Perhaps I’m wrong (it’s no skin off my back), but another thing I’ve noticed in my life is that 90% of women will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince someone that they’re in the 10% that don’t care about money… all evidence to the contrary. Case in point:

stin·gy (adj.)
1. reluctant to give or spend; not generous: He’s a stingy old miser.
2. scanty or meager: A stingy little income.

Seems like the word “stingy,” at bottom, is ALL about money. I think it’s pretty clear that your comments are not being “taken out of context.” You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the guy to “impress you” with a “nice date” that, as you’ve already explained, you have no intentions of paying for. And, at the same time, you want us to believe that “you don’t care about money.” I must admit, you’ve got quite a challenge on your hands. Do you think this guy describes you as stingy despite the fact that he’s paid for “mostly” all of the dates? That’s a rhetorical question. Women, as a general rule, don’t pay. After all, they might label the man as “stingy.”

Here’s my suggestion: Tell the man that you’d like to go on a nice date and define for him precisely what “nice date” means. Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.

[davelj]

Marion,

Perhaps I’m wrong (it’s no skin off my back), but another thing I’ve noticed in my life is that 90% of women will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince someone that they’re in the 10% that don’t care about money… all evidence to the contrary. Case in point:

stin·gy (adj.)
1. reluctant to give or spend; not generous: He’s a stingy old miser.
2. scanty or meager: A stingy little income.

Seems like the word “stingy,” at bottom, is ALL about money. I think it’s pretty clear that your comments are not being “taken out of context.” You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the guy to “impress you” with a “nice date” that, as you’ve already explained, you have no intentions of paying for. And, at the same time, you want us to believe that “you don’t care about money.” I must admit, you’ve got quite a challenge on your hands. Do you think this guy describes you as stingy despite the fact that he’s paid for “mostly” all of the dates? That’s a rhetorical question. Women, as a general rule, don’t pay. After all, they might label the man as “stingy.”

Here’s my suggestion: Tell the man that you’d like to go on a nice date and define for him precisely what “nice date” means. Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.

[davelj]

Marion,

Perhaps I’m wrong (it’s no skin off my back), but another thing I’ve noticed in my life is that 90% of women will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince someone that they’re in the 10% that don’t care about money… all evidence to the contrary. Case in point:

stin·gy (adj.)
1. reluctant to give or spend; not generous: He’s a stingy old miser.
2. scanty or meager: A stingy little income.

Seems like the word “stingy,” at bottom, is ALL about money. I think it’s pretty clear that your comments are not being “taken out of context.” You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want the guy to “impress you” with a “nice date” that, as you’ve already explained, you have no intentions of paying for. And, at the same time, you want us to believe that “you don’t care about money.” I must admit, you’ve got quite a challenge on your hands. Do you think this guy describes you as stingy despite the fact that he’s paid for “mostly” all of the dates? That’s a rhetorical question. Women, as a general rule, don’t pay. After all, they might label the man as “stingy.”

Here’s my suggestion: Tell the man that you’d like to go on a nice date and define for him precisely what “nice date” means. Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.

[Anonymous]

“Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …”

FormerSanDiegan, I’m loathe to call him stingy. He’s been nice to me. Actually, he has alluded to that. His comment was along the lines of the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses. So, maybe I need to get with the program…

So, in essence, I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets. Is that how it works, boys?

😉

[Anonymous]

“Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …”

FormerSanDiegan, I’m loathe to call him stingy. He’s been nice to me. Actually, he has alluded to that. His comment was along the lines of the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses. So, maybe I need to get with the program…

So, in essence, I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets. Is that how it works, boys?

😉

[Anonymous]

“Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …”

FormerSanDiegan, I’m loathe to call him stingy. He’s been nice to me. Actually, he has alluded to that. His comment was along the lines of the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses. So, maybe I need to get with the program…

So, in essence, I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets. Is that how it works, boys?

😉

[Anonymous]

“Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …”

FormerSanDiegan, I’m loathe to call him stingy. He’s been nice to me. Actually, he has alluded to that. His comment was along the lines of the nicer dates are supposed to happen after the relationship progresses. So, maybe I need to get with the program…

So, in essence, I get to enjoy his monetary assets after he gets to enjoy my physical assets. Is that how it works, boys?

😉

[kev374]

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now.

Here is the thing…this statement comes across as someone having a pretty strong sense of entitlement. You’re expecting him to “impress” you, let me turn the tables and ask, what have you done or are doing or going to do to impress him? Or do you think that you are the only one that matters because you are a woman?

Not to offend you or imply anything, just asking a reasonable question I think.

[kev374]

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now.

Here is the thing…this statement comes across as someone having a pretty strong sense of entitlement. You’re expecting him to “impress” you, let me turn the tables and ask, what have you done or are doing or going to do to impress him? Or do you think that you are the only one that matters because you are a woman?

Not to offend you or imply anything, just asking a reasonable question I think.

[kev374]

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now.

Here is the thing…this statement comes across as someone having a pretty strong sense of entitlement. You’re expecting him to “impress” you, let me turn the tables and ask, what have you done or are doing or going to do to impress him? Or do you think that you are the only one that matters because you are a woman?

Not to offend you or imply anything, just asking a reasonable question I think.

[kev374]

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now.

Here is the thing…this statement comes across as someone having a pretty strong sense of entitlement. You’re expecting him to “impress” you, let me turn the tables and ask, what have you done or are doing or going to do to impress him? Or do you think that you are the only one that matters because you are a woman?

Not to offend you or imply anything, just asking a reasonable question I think.

[kev374]

Ok, I’m old fashioned and the way I see it, he should have tried to impress me by now.

Here is the thing…this statement comes across as someone having a pretty strong sense of entitlement. You’re expecting him to “impress” you, let me turn the tables and ask, what have you done or are doing or going to do to impress him? Or do you think that you are the only one that matters because you are a woman?

Not to offend you or imply anything, just asking a reasonable question I think.

[scaredyclassic]

it may be worth noting that among various guides for players that it is advisable not to spend money on women because it shifts the balance of power to her–that is, the guy who tries to win the affection of a woman by spending money often gets nowehere, while the bad boy who keeps the woman guessing and who playfully insults her usually actually gets the girl. i think this tends to be true, that women are more attracted to you when you act like you don’t need them. might not be rue for you, but if this guy is playing the odds, the odds are he’s gottena bette response in general from women when he doesn’t try to buy their affection, when he acts like he can take em or leave em, has options, and that you shoudl be chasing him, not the other way around. i dont agree he’s necessarily been putt hrought he wringer, it’s really the only way to reliably get lots of action, statsitcially speaking, from women.

Drink Heavily.

[Anonymous]

dave: “Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.”

So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.

Thanks.

[davelj]

Marion: “So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.”

I might substitute the word “changed” with “defined.” But reasonable people can disagree.

[davelj]

Marion: “So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.”

I might substitute the word “changed” with “defined.” But reasonable people can disagree.

[davelj]

Marion: “So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.”

I might substitute the word “changed” with “defined.” But reasonable people can disagree.

[davelj]

Marion: “So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.”

I might substitute the word “changed” with “defined.” But reasonable people can disagree.

[davelj]

Marion: “So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.”

I might substitute the word “changed” with “defined.” But reasonable people can disagree.

[Anonymous]

dave: “Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.”

So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

dave: “Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.”

So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

dave: “Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.”

So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

dave: “Since he’s told you that he’d like to sleep with you, tell him that he’ll be able to sleep with you in exchange for this nice date. I think you’ll be on the road toward a mutually beneficial relationship with very little confusion between you.”

So in following your plan, I will have effectively changed my profession to that of a hooker.

Thanks.

[scaredyclassic]

it may be worth noting that among various guides for players that it is advisable not to spend money on women because it shifts the balance of power to her–that is, the guy who tries to win the affection of a woman by spending money often gets nowehere, while the bad boy who keeps the woman guessing and who playfully insults her usually actually gets the girl. i think this tends to be true, that women are more attracted to you when you act like you don’t need them. might not be rue for you, but if this guy is playing the odds, the odds are he’s gottena bette response in general from women when he doesn’t try to buy their affection, when he acts like he can take em or leave em, has options, and that you shoudl be chasing him, not the other way around. i dont agree he’s necessarily been putt hrought he wringer, it’s really the only way to reliably get lots of action, statsitcially speaking, from women.

Drink Heavily.

[scaredyclassic]

it may be worth noting that among various guides for players that it is advisable not to spend money on women because it shifts the balance of power to her–that is, the guy who tries to win the affection of a woman by spending money often gets nowehere, while the bad boy who keeps the woman guessing and who playfully insults her usually actually gets the girl. i think this tends to be true, that women are more attracted to you when you act like you don’t need them. might not be rue for you, but if this guy is playing the odds, the odds are he’s gottena bette response in general from women when he doesn’t try to buy their affection, when he acts like he can take em or leave em, has options, and that you shoudl be chasing him, not the other way around. i dont agree he’s necessarily been putt hrought he wringer, it’s really the only way to reliably get lots of action, statsitcially speaking, from women.

Drink Heavily.

[scaredyclassic]

it may be worth noting that among various guides for players that it is advisable not to spend money on women because it shifts the balance of power to her–that is, the guy who tries to win the affection of a woman by spending money often gets nowehere, while the bad boy who keeps the woman guessing and who playfully insults her usually actually gets the girl. i think this tends to be true, that women are more attracted to you when you act like you don’t need them. might not be rue for you, but if this guy is playing the odds, the odds are he’s gottena bette response in general from women when he doesn’t try to buy their affection, when he acts like he can take em or leave em, has options, and that you shoudl be chasing him, not the other way around. i dont agree he’s necessarily been putt hrought he wringer, it’s really the only way to reliably get lots of action, statsitcially speaking, from women.

Drink Heavily.

[scaredyclassic]

it may be worth noting that among various guides for players that it is advisable not to spend money on women because it shifts the balance of power to her–that is, the guy who tries to win the affection of a woman by spending money often gets nowehere, while the bad boy who keeps the woman guessing and who playfully insults her usually actually gets the girl. i think this tends to be true, that women are more attracted to you when you act like you don’t need them. might not be rue for you, but if this guy is playing the odds, the odds are he’s gottena bette response in general from women when he doesn’t try to buy their affection, when he acts like he can take em or leave em, has options, and that you shoudl be chasing him, not the other way around. i dont agree he’s necessarily been putt hrought he wringer, it’s really the only way to reliably get lots of action, statsitcially speaking, from women.

Drink Heavily.

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …
But his stinginess reminds me of someone. Is his name PerryChase?

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …
But his stinginess reminds me of someone. Is his name PerryChase?

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …
But his stinginess reminds me of someone. Is his name PerryChase?

[(former)FormerSanDiegan]

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

Maybe he’s waiting to take you on more nice dates until after he “seals the deal.” Just kidding …
But his stinginess reminds me of someone. Is his name PerryChase?

[Anonymous]

Dave: “So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.”

And you’re wrong now. I don’t care about the money. But, I care about “stingy”. It probably is because someone took him to the cleaners.

One poster on here said they shouldn’t have to “impress” a woman. I said impressed, but I don’t want it to be taken out of context. I’ts not so much I want to be “impressed” as much as I want a man to demonstrate to me I’m worth the effort of being taken somewhere nice and worthwhile.

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

[Anonymous]

Dave: “So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.”

And you’re wrong now. I don’t care about the money. But, I care about “stingy”. It probably is because someone took him to the cleaners.

One poster on here said they shouldn’t have to “impress” a woman. I said impressed, but I don’t want it to be taken out of context. I’ts not so much I want to be “impressed” as much as I want a man to demonstrate to me I’m worth the effort of being taken somewhere nice and worthwhile.

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

[Anonymous]

Dave: “So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.”

And you’re wrong now. I don’t care about the money. But, I care about “stingy”. It probably is because someone took him to the cleaners.

One poster on here said they shouldn’t have to “impress” a woman. I said impressed, but I don’t want it to be taken out of context. I’ts not so much I want to be “impressed” as much as I want a man to demonstrate to me I’m worth the effort of being taken somewhere nice and worthwhile.

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

[Anonymous]

Dave: “So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.”

And you’re wrong now. I don’t care about the money. But, I care about “stingy”. It probably is because someone took him to the cleaners.

One poster on here said they shouldn’t have to “impress” a woman. I said impressed, but I don’t want it to be taken out of context. I’ts not so much I want to be “impressed” as much as I want a man to demonstrate to me I’m worth the effort of being taken somewhere nice and worthwhile.

Oh, and he didn’t have a problem stating how much he wants to have me in bed…

[davelj]

In my opinion, marriage is a bad idea in general. Kids are a worse idea. Marriage without a pre-nup is a horrific idea if you’re the party with the greater amount of assets. In general, marriage is a triumph of hope over observable experience. Having said that…

A man or woman that brings up a pre-nup out of nowhere prior to a serious discussion regarding marriage is extremely odd unless the subject of pre-nups came up independently on its own (like, “I read recently that so-and-so didn’t have a pre-nup…”). A guy that says “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” is also odd, in my opinion. On the other hand, your comment that you “don’t give a blank about whatever money he has” is a lie (conscious or subconscious) 90% of the time it’s uttered.

I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females. Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.

So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.

[davelj]

In my opinion, marriage is a bad idea in general. Kids are a worse idea. Marriage without a pre-nup is a horrific idea if you’re the party with the greater amount of assets. In general, marriage is a triumph of hope over observable experience. Having said that…

A man or woman that brings up a pre-nup out of nowhere prior to a serious discussion regarding marriage is extremely odd unless the subject of pre-nups came up independently on its own (like, “I read recently that so-and-so didn’t have a pre-nup…”). A guy that says “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” is also odd, in my opinion. On the other hand, your comment that you “don’t give a blank about whatever money he has” is a lie (conscious or subconscious) 90% of the time it’s uttered.

I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females. Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.

So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.

[davelj]

In my opinion, marriage is a bad idea in general. Kids are a worse idea. Marriage without a pre-nup is a horrific idea if you’re the party with the greater amount of assets. In general, marriage is a triumph of hope over observable experience. Having said that…

A man or woman that brings up a pre-nup out of nowhere prior to a serious discussion regarding marriage is extremely odd unless the subject of pre-nups came up independently on its own (like, “I read recently that so-and-so didn’t have a pre-nup…”). A guy that says “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” is also odd, in my opinion. On the other hand, your comment that you “don’t give a blank about whatever money he has” is a lie (conscious or subconscious) 90% of the time it’s uttered.

I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females. Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.

So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.

[davelj]

In my opinion, marriage is a bad idea in general. Kids are a worse idea. Marriage without a pre-nup is a horrific idea if you’re the party with the greater amount of assets. In general, marriage is a triumph of hope over observable experience. Having said that…

A man or woman that brings up a pre-nup out of nowhere prior to a serious discussion regarding marriage is extremely odd unless the subject of pre-nups came up independently on its own (like, “I read recently that so-and-so didn’t have a pre-nup…”). A guy that says “he doesn’t want someone hanging around for the money” is also odd, in my opinion. On the other hand, your comment that you “don’t give a blank about whatever money he has” is a lie (conscious or subconscious) 90% of the time it’s uttered.

I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females. Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.

So, to sum things up, in my opinion it seems like you two are made for each other. He’s pretending that he has enough wealth for it to matter whether or not a pre-nup is necessary, and you’re pretending to not care about the money he probably doesn’t have. But I’ve been wrong before.

[XBoxBoy]

Marion,

Can I make a simple suggestion? Don’t worry about it at this stage. Don’t worry about the prenup, and don’t worry about a fancy date. But also don’t let yourself get too caught up with falling in love with him either. If you pressure him to take you on a nice date, then you won’t see the real him. Let him show what kind of guy he is on his own. Only after he’s done that, should you even start to think about stuff like prenups. 4 dates is way too soon to start wondering about finances and prenups.

XBoxBoy (Not one of the financially saavy, but oh well.)

[XBoxBoy]

Marion,

Can I make a simple suggestion? Don’t worry about it at this stage. Don’t worry about the prenup, and don’t worry about a fancy date. But also don’t let yourself get too caught up with falling in love with him either. If you pressure him to take you on a nice date, then you won’t see the real him. Let him show what kind of guy he is on his own. Only after he’s done that, should you even start to think about stuff like prenups. 4 dates is way too soon to start wondering about finances and prenups.

XBoxBoy (Not one of the financially saavy, but oh well.)

[XBoxBoy]

Marion,

Can I make a simple suggestion? Don’t worry about it at this stage. Don’t worry about the prenup, and don’t worry about a fancy date. But also don’t let yourself get too caught up with falling in love with him either. If you pressure him to take you on a nice date, then you won’t see the real him. Let him show what kind of guy he is on his own. Only after he’s done that, should you even start to think about stuff like prenups. 4 dates is way too soon to start wondering about finances and prenups.

XBoxBoy (Not one of the financially saavy, but oh well.)

[XBoxBoy]

Marion,

Can I make a simple suggestion? Don’t worry about it at this stage. Don’t worry about the prenup, and don’t worry about a fancy date. But also don’t let yourself get too caught up with falling in love with him either. If you pressure him to take you on a nice date, then you won’t see the real him. Let him show what kind of guy he is on his own. Only after he’s done that, should you even start to think about stuff like prenups. 4 dates is way too soon to start wondering about finances and prenups.

XBoxBoy (Not one of the financially saavy, but oh well.)

[XBoxBoy]

Marion,

Can I make a simple suggestion? Don’t worry about it at this stage. Don’t worry about the prenup, and don’t worry about a fancy date. But also don’t let yourself get too caught up with falling in love with him either. If you pressure him to take you on a nice date, then you won’t see the real him. Let him show what kind of guy he is on his own. Only after he’s done that, should you even start to think about stuff like prenups. 4 dates is way too soon to start wondering about finances and prenups.

XBoxBoy (Not one of the financially saavy, but oh well.)

[pepsi]

prenup should protect asset you have Before entering marriage. It does not protect wealth created during the marriage.

 

[pepsi]

prenup should protect asset you have Before entering marriage. It does not protect wealth created during the marriage.

 

[pepsi]

prenup should protect asset you have Before entering marriage. It does not protect wealth created during the marriage.

 

[pepsi]

prenup should protect asset you have Before entering marriage. It does not protect wealth created during the marriage.

 

[pepsi]

prenup should protect asset you have Before entering marriage. It does not protect wealth created during the marriage.

 

[Arty]

I am single never married 32 years old, and here is my answer.

If I ever going to get married, a prenup must be signed. I will probably not mentioned on the 4th date. However, I will probably bring it up when it is getting serious. No point of wasting each other’s time.

My logic: I have a house in my name fully paid. Why do I want to have someone comes in and has the right to claim half of it especially in the worse senario that its a short marriage without children. I have decent amount of cash, stocks, and Roth IRA why I have to sign half away. In addition, prenup doesn’t have to be all about money. I will probably put into some rules about living together. Of course, you should find this out before you get married, but nothing beats sitting down and writing them down.

Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).

[Anonymous]

Arty: “Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).”

Let’s assume for a minute that you are serious; this is a great way to get a nasty STD! The women who allow this are stupid. Period. I don’t allow this behavior because I don’t have to.

Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.

[davelj]

Marion: “Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I would add to the end of that sentence: “or so long as he can fool me into believing that’s actually the case.”

[davelj]

Marion: “Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I would add to the end of that sentence: “or so long as he can fool me into believing that’s actually the case.”

[davelj]

Marion: “Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I would add to the end of that sentence: “or so long as he can fool me into believing that’s actually the case.”

[davelj]

Marion: “Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I would add to the end of that sentence: “or so long as he can fool me into believing that’s actually the case.”

[davelj]

Marion: “Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I would add to the end of that sentence: “or so long as he can fool me into believing that’s actually the case.”

[Arty]

“Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I don’t mean for guys to cheat on their girlfriends. I am just saying you are not stuck in a marriage. While dating allows you to just walk away and find another one. Personally, I don’t see any thing wrong with sowing one’s wild oats (use protections please).

[Arty]

“Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I don’t mean for guys to cheat on their girlfriends. I am just saying you are not stuck in a marriage. While dating allows you to just walk away and find another one. Personally, I don’t see any thing wrong with sowing one’s wild oats (use protections please).

[Arty]

“Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I don’t mean for guys to cheat on their girlfriends. I am just saying you are not stuck in a marriage. While dating allows you to just walk away and find another one. Personally, I don’t see any thing wrong with sowing one’s wild oats (use protections please).

[Arty]

“Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I don’t mean for guys to cheat on their girlfriends. I am just saying you are not stuck in a marriage. While dating allows you to just walk away and find another one. Personally, I don’t see any thing wrong with sowing one’s wild oats (use protections please).

[Arty]

“Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.”

I don’t mean for guys to cheat on their girlfriends. I am just saying you are not stuck in a marriage. While dating allows you to just walk away and find another one. Personally, I don’t see any thing wrong with sowing one’s wild oats (use protections please).

[Anonymous]

Arty: “Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).”

Let’s assume for a minute that you are serious; this is a great way to get a nasty STD! The women who allow this are stupid. Period. I don’t allow this behavior because I don’t have to.

Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.

[Anonymous]

Arty: “Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).”

Let’s assume for a minute that you are serious; this is a great way to get a nasty STD! The women who allow this are stupid. Period. I don’t allow this behavior because I don’t have to.

Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.

[Anonymous]

Arty: “Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).”

Let’s assume for a minute that you are serious; this is a great way to get a nasty STD! The women who allow this are stupid. Period. I don’t allow this behavior because I don’t have to.

Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.

[Anonymous]

Arty: “Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).”

Let’s assume for a minute that you are serious; this is a great way to get a nasty STD! The women who allow this are stupid. Period. I don’t allow this behavior because I don’t have to.

Any man in a relationship with me will understand that I’m am the only female he’ll be getting his milk from.

[Arty]

I am single never married 32 years old, and here is my answer.

If I ever going to get married, a prenup must be signed. I will probably not mentioned on the 4th date. However, I will probably bring it up when it is getting serious. No point of wasting each other’s time.

My logic: I have a house in my name fully paid. Why do I want to have someone comes in and has the right to claim half of it especially in the worse senario that its a short marriage without children. I have decent amount of cash, stocks, and Roth IRA why I have to sign half away. In addition, prenup doesn’t have to be all about money. I will probably put into some rules about living together. Of course, you should find this out before you get married, but nothing beats sitting down and writing them down.

Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).

[Arty]

I am single never married 32 years old, and here is my answer.

If I ever going to get married, a prenup must be signed. I will probably not mentioned on the 4th date. However, I will probably bring it up when it is getting serious. No point of wasting each other’s time.

My logic: I have a house in my name fully paid. Why do I want to have someone comes in and has the right to claim half of it especially in the worse senario that its a short marriage without children. I have decent amount of cash, stocks, and Roth IRA why I have to sign half away. In addition, prenup doesn’t have to be all about money. I will probably put into some rules about living together. Of course, you should find this out before you get married, but nothing beats sitting down and writing them down.

Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).

[Arty]

I am single never married 32 years old, and here is my answer.

If I ever going to get married, a prenup must be signed. I will probably not mentioned on the 4th date. However, I will probably bring it up when it is getting serious. No point of wasting each other’s time.

My logic: I have a house in my name fully paid. Why do I want to have someone comes in and has the right to claim half of it especially in the worse senario that its a short marriage without children. I have decent amount of cash, stocks, and Roth IRA why I have to sign half away. In addition, prenup doesn’t have to be all about money. I will probably put into some rules about living together. Of course, you should find this out before you get married, but nothing beats sitting down and writing them down.

Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).

[Arty]

I am single never married 32 years old, and here is my answer.

If I ever going to get married, a prenup must be signed. I will probably not mentioned on the 4th date. However, I will probably bring it up when it is getting serious. No point of wasting each other’s time.

My logic: I have a house in my name fully paid. Why do I want to have someone comes in and has the right to claim half of it especially in the worse senario that its a short marriage without children. I have decent amount of cash, stocks, and Roth IRA why I have to sign half away. In addition, prenup doesn’t have to be all about money. I will probably put into some rules about living together. Of course, you should find this out before you get married, but nothing beats sitting down and writing them down.

Personally, I do have to ask other guys: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you don’t buy the cow, you can have milk from many different cows with many different flavors (you know what I mean :P).

[PCinSD]

Looks like most people jumped in on this and posted much of what I’d echo.

I’m divorced, late 30’s, occasionally date. I’ve never thought of a prenup, but then again I haven’t seriously thought of marriage after mine failed. People have moral, religious, financial concerns that play into the decision of whether to have a prenup. It’s a purely personal decision. Given your situation (divorced) it can’t hurt.

If you don’t believe him, how exactly does buying you a nice dinner change that? That’s all it takes? You should have a better rationale for disbelieving his stated feelings for you other than the fact he hasn’t bought you a nice dinner.

By the way, you may remember the “Seinfeld” episode where George asked his fiancee for a prenup. Not because he needed one, but because he thought she would leave him if he asked her to sign. (It was Kramer’s idea) Turns out it didn’t matter anyway. I’m not saying this guy is trying to scare you away, but asking for a prenup doesn’t mean he has significant assets either.

As a single man, here’s my cynical take on the lunch dates: He finds you attractive but isn’t sold on you. He has other things going on in the evening that are a sure thing. He thinks if you believe he really likes you, he’ll get to see you naked. He just doesn’t want to have to cut into the valuable time he spends with the friends he’s known for years, or the other women he dates. In a nutshell, after 4 dates, he probably wants to know he’s got a decent chance of getting some if he shells out the bucks and time for a nice dinner. Given your postings, it doesn’t appear that’ll happen anytime soon for him.

Doesn’t make him a bad guy. But perhaps not the right guy for you. If you thought he was sincere about really liking you, would you sleep with him? I’m just wondering if my theory holds any water. I know it’s personal, but that ship sailed awhile ago. Best of luck.

pabloesqobar

[Anonymous]

dave: “I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females.”

No need. I love a good discussion.

Agreed. The man was the protector of the women and children who because of their physical make-up were not able to defend themselves against the much stronger man.

“Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.”

I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women. This is the exact attitudes that keep us from earning the same salary you do even though we do the exact same job.

In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them. I put myself through college just so I can have the opportunity to provide myself with the lifestyle I desire. Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.

Am I in the minority? With the amount of vapid women in existence today, probably. That said, there are many others like me. However, if a woman hasn’t had children yet and both desire them and want to stay at home and raise them, unless she’s had time to save for this event (or wealthy parents), then you’d be right.

And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question. ”

Where is the irony?? Ok, so me wanting him to take me on a nice date to gauge his true interest equates to me being after his money? Puleeze, dude!

It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world. Ok, done with that.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

marion: A sincere thanks for a very enjoyable posting! I know that sounds somewhat patronizing and condescending, and I do apologize as that is not my intent. Rather I have enjoyed the back and forth trememdously, as well as being able to watch some of the intellectual horsepower that this board boasts on full display.

It also makes me realize that “The Battle of the Sexes” remains as fiercely contested as ever with no end in sight.

I also find myself in the unenviable position of wanting to say something, but it appears that everyone else has already beaten me to the punch.

Arty: As an aside, if you owned the house on entering the marriage, it is yours. The State of California makes a very clear delineation between assets derived during the course of a marriage and those owned by the respective parties when they came in.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

marion: A sincere thanks for a very enjoyable posting! I know that sounds somewhat patronizing and condescending, and I do apologize as that is not my intent. Rather I have enjoyed the back and forth trememdously, as well as being able to watch some of the intellectual horsepower that this board boasts on full display.

It also makes me realize that “The Battle of the Sexes” remains as fiercely contested as ever with no end in sight.

I also find myself in the unenviable position of wanting to say something, but it appears that everyone else has already beaten me to the punch.

Arty: As an aside, if you owned the house on entering the marriage, it is yours. The State of California makes a very clear delineation between assets derived during the course of a marriage and those owned by the respective parties when they came in.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

marion: A sincere thanks for a very enjoyable posting! I know that sounds somewhat patronizing and condescending, and I do apologize as that is not my intent. Rather I have enjoyed the back and forth trememdously, as well as being able to watch some of the intellectual horsepower that this board boasts on full display.

It also makes me realize that “The Battle of the Sexes” remains as fiercely contested as ever with no end in sight.

I also find myself in the unenviable position of wanting to say something, but it appears that everyone else has already beaten me to the punch.

Arty: As an aside, if you owned the house on entering the marriage, it is yours. The State of California makes a very clear delineation between assets derived during the course of a marriage and those owned by the respective parties when they came in.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

marion: A sincere thanks for a very enjoyable posting! I know that sounds somewhat patronizing and condescending, and I do apologize as that is not my intent. Rather I have enjoyed the back and forth trememdously, as well as being able to watch some of the intellectual horsepower that this board boasts on full display.

It also makes me realize that “The Battle of the Sexes” remains as fiercely contested as ever with no end in sight.

I also find myself in the unenviable position of wanting to say something, but it appears that everyone else has already beaten me to the punch.

Arty: As an aside, if you owned the house on entering the marriage, it is yours. The State of California makes a very clear delineation between assets derived during the course of a marriage and those owned by the respective parties when they came in.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

marion: A sincere thanks for a very enjoyable posting! I know that sounds somewhat patronizing and condescending, and I do apologize as that is not my intent. Rather I have enjoyed the back and forth trememdously, as well as being able to watch some of the intellectual horsepower that this board boasts on full display.

It also makes me realize that “The Battle of the Sexes” remains as fiercely contested as ever with no end in sight.

I also find myself in the unenviable position of wanting to say something, but it appears that everyone else has already beaten me to the punch.

Arty: As an aside, if you owned the house on entering the marriage, it is yours. The State of California makes a very clear delineation between assets derived during the course of a marriage and those owned by the respective parties when they came in.

[davelj]

Marion: “It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world.”

In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks. That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.

[Anonymous]

davelj: “In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks.”

So sad. I hope your parents didn’t have the same view of you. Did they?…

“That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.”

That’s not what I said. You stated that kids were a bad idea. You should have qualified that by saying that kids were a bad idea for YOU. And yes, I hold to my conviction that anyone that doesn’t want to see kids running around on this planet is “cold and scary”. But, I suppose it’s expected for someone who thinks in the grand scheme of things humans are irrelevant anyway.

Voz, sorry, but I still don’t buy the separate account thing. You claim all this love and how you took your fiance out on wonderful dates and how you like to throw money around. All good. But, you can’t share a checking account because she has a student loan? Not buying it.

I’m assuming she’s paying on her loan or has ever intention to pay, so the loan itself should be a non-issue. If the fact that your significant other is 35K in debt rattles your nerves, maybe you should rethink the marriage. As far as the creditors raiding a joint account, it doesn’t seem like that would hold up in court, but I’m not certain.

[Ex-SD]

This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

[Anonymous]

Ex-SD: “This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

How about we change it to “why I’ll never get married again.”

🙂

[VoZangre]

Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

re: http://www.smartmoney.com/divorce/marriage/index.cfm?story=mistakes

Marion,

Of course you are not “buying” it! The first reason for this is that

a) I am not selling it and
b) you accurately gauge that whether you lend credence or no to the facts as they are is absolutely irrelevant.

ciao for now…

Voz

ps- my stomach IS churning a bit!! 🙂

it has more to do w/ myriad details of the logistical sort, the necessity of working this evening and a sore lack of access to whiskey.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Cooper: “Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.”

Rustico: “Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).”

Rustico, A home has sentimental value to me, not just monetary value that is why I don’t want to be forced to sell if I remarry and there is a divorce. I know there is a buy out option, but I’d rather not have my house on the line. Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future.

Cooper, assuming my new husband has a home of his own, these are the possibilities for living arrangements:

1) If he’s agreeable, we live in one house and rent the other out.

2) We live in seperate houses, and divide the time we spend between residences. This is probably a less likely scenario.

I haven’t thought the legalities through, but I see no reason why this shouldn’t work. A couple more things: Cooper, no I wouldn’t want or require joint ownership. I’m not a gold-digger and don’t want a part of his house, which means no, I would not and see no reason for me to put mysself on his mortgage.

Lastly, I would buy a vacation home with him, investment property or business property. I just don’t want my personal residence put at risk because it will be a place where I have raised my children and somewhere both they and I can always go back to.

Voz…

Kiss it goodbye.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[Anonymous]

Ok, some of you are still not understanding me, I’ll try this one more time.

Novice, maybe you haven’t read my last few posts. The reason I want a man at some point to own his own home is because if there is a divorce, he will have his residence and I will have mine. There would be no need to sell our respective homes and divide the proceeds. You cannot put a price on memories. I would be very uncomfortable having to sell the home without wanting to.

In regards to the checking account issue, I know a couple of ladies who have separate checking accounts, but like you, it is in addition to joint accounts with their mate/spouse. With these accounts they buy personal things, get nail’s done,hair clothes, personal expenses. Their husbands may have one too. Hence these accounts are for convenience and their is a joint account as well. The problem I have is with one party in a marriage insists that the accounts or major accounts be separate for financial reasons and without the consent of the other party.

[NotCranky]

Marion if you own your own home and have a prenup and a decent job a man would only have to have enough wealth for maybe an “old fashioned” nice date now and then. Your pool of candidates would increase tremendously.

We should have all been trust fund babies.

[waitingpatiently]

I thought this website was about real estate not some divorced woman’s revenge on the male species

[VoZangre]

Never You mind, gents…

Undaunted I launch into the unknowable and statistically unpredictable…

ciao for now…

Voz

ps – all those who predicate their marriage on potential divorce should stay on THAT side o the fence…

[VoZangre]

Never You mind, gents…

Undaunted I launch into the unknowable and statistically unpredictable…

ciao for now…

Voz

ps – all those who predicate their marriage on potential divorce should stay on THAT side o the fence…

[VoZangre]

Never You mind, gents…

Undaunted I launch into the unknowable and statistically unpredictable…

ciao for now…

Voz

ps – all those who predicate their marriage on potential divorce should stay on THAT side o the fence…

[VoZangre]

Never You mind, gents…

Undaunted I launch into the unknowable and statistically unpredictable…

ciao for now…

Voz

ps – all those who predicate their marriage on potential divorce should stay on THAT side o the fence…

[VoZangre]

Never You mind, gents…

Undaunted I launch into the unknowable and statistically unpredictable…

ciao for now…

Voz

ps – all those who predicate their marriage on potential divorce should stay on THAT side o the fence…

[waitingpatiently]

I thought this website was about real estate not some divorced woman’s revenge on the male species

[waitingpatiently]

I thought this website was about real estate not some divorced woman’s revenge on the male species

[waitingpatiently]

I thought this website was about real estate not some divorced woman’s revenge on the male species

[waitingpatiently]

I thought this website was about real estate not some divorced woman’s revenge on the male species

[NotCranky]

Marion if you own your own home and have a prenup and a decent job a man would only have to have enough wealth for maybe an “old fashioned” nice date now and then. Your pool of candidates would increase tremendously.

We should have all been trust fund babies.

[NotCranky]

Marion if you own your own home and have a prenup and a decent job a man would only have to have enough wealth for maybe an “old fashioned” nice date now and then. Your pool of candidates would increase tremendously.

We should have all been trust fund babies.

[NotCranky]

Marion if you own your own home and have a prenup and a decent job a man would only have to have enough wealth for maybe an “old fashioned” nice date now and then. Your pool of candidates would increase tremendously.

We should have all been trust fund babies.

[NotCranky]

Marion if you own your own home and have a prenup and a decent job a man would only have to have enough wealth for maybe an “old fashioned” nice date now and then. Your pool of candidates would increase tremendously.

We should have all been trust fund babies.

[cooperthedog]

Sample marriage proposal,

Suitor: Marion, will you marry me…. ???

Marion: YES!!!! Oh, we have so much to do before the wedding! Choose a site, my dress, each buy separate residences and choose which to live in…

[cooperthedog]

Sample marriage proposal,

Suitor: Marion, will you marry me…. ???

Marion: YES!!!! Oh, we have so much to do before the wedding! Choose a site, my dress, each buy separate residences and choose which to live in…

[cooperthedog]

Sample marriage proposal,

Suitor: Marion, will you marry me…. ???

Marion: YES!!!! Oh, we have so much to do before the wedding! Choose a site, my dress, each buy separate residences and choose which to live in…

[cooperthedog]

Sample marriage proposal,

Suitor: Marion, will you marry me…. ???

Marion: YES!!!! Oh, we have so much to do before the wedding! Choose a site, my dress, each buy separate residences and choose which to live in…

[cooperthedog]

Sample marriage proposal,

Suitor: Marion, will you marry me…. ???

Marion: YES!!!! Oh, we have so much to do before the wedding! Choose a site, my dress, each buy separate residences and choose which to live in…

[Anonymous]

Ok, some of you are still not understanding me, I’ll try this one more time.

Novice, maybe you haven’t read my last few posts. The reason I want a man at some point to own his own home is because if there is a divorce, he will have his residence and I will have mine. There would be no need to sell our respective homes and divide the proceeds. You cannot put a price on memories. I would be very uncomfortable having to sell the home without wanting to.

In regards to the checking account issue, I know a couple of ladies who have separate checking accounts, but like you, it is in addition to joint accounts with their mate/spouse. With these accounts they buy personal things, get nail’s done,hair clothes, personal expenses. Their husbands may have one too. Hence these accounts are for convenience and their is a joint account as well. The problem I have is with one party in a marriage insists that the accounts or major accounts be separate for financial reasons and without the consent of the other party.

[Anonymous]

Ok, some of you are still not understanding me, I’ll try this one more time.

Novice, maybe you haven’t read my last few posts. The reason I want a man at some point to own his own home is because if there is a divorce, he will have his residence and I will have mine. There would be no need to sell our respective homes and divide the proceeds. You cannot put a price on memories. I would be very uncomfortable having to sell the home without wanting to.

In regards to the checking account issue, I know a couple of ladies who have separate checking accounts, but like you, it is in addition to joint accounts with their mate/spouse. With these accounts they buy personal things, get nail’s done,hair clothes, personal expenses. Their husbands may have one too. Hence these accounts are for convenience and their is a joint account as well. The problem I have is with one party in a marriage insists that the accounts or major accounts be separate for financial reasons and without the consent of the other party.

[Anonymous]

Ok, some of you are still not understanding me, I’ll try this one more time.

Novice, maybe you haven’t read my last few posts. The reason I want a man at some point to own his own home is because if there is a divorce, he will have his residence and I will have mine. There would be no need to sell our respective homes and divide the proceeds. You cannot put a price on memories. I would be very uncomfortable having to sell the home without wanting to.

In regards to the checking account issue, I know a couple of ladies who have separate checking accounts, but like you, it is in addition to joint accounts with their mate/spouse. With these accounts they buy personal things, get nail’s done,hair clothes, personal expenses. Their husbands may have one too. Hence these accounts are for convenience and their is a joint account as well. The problem I have is with one party in a marriage insists that the accounts or major accounts be separate for financial reasons and without the consent of the other party.

[Anonymous]

Ok, some of you are still not understanding me, I’ll try this one more time.

Novice, maybe you haven’t read my last few posts. The reason I want a man at some point to own his own home is because if there is a divorce, he will have his residence and I will have mine. There would be no need to sell our respective homes and divide the proceeds. You cannot put a price on memories. I would be very uncomfortable having to sell the home without wanting to.

In regards to the checking account issue, I know a couple of ladies who have separate checking accounts, but like you, it is in addition to joint accounts with their mate/spouse. With these accounts they buy personal things, get nail’s done,hair clothes, personal expenses. Their husbands may have one too. Hence these accounts are for convenience and their is a joint account as well. The problem I have is with one party in a marriage insists that the accounts or major accounts be separate for financial reasons and without the consent of the other party.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[novice1027]

I’m sorry to say but with comments like “Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future,” and having separate checking accounts would be “a deal breaker,” and I were a guy, I’d be dropping the pre-nup line very early in the conversation with you!
It appears to me that money and financial stability are very high on your priority list, and that would freak me out!
My husband and I had separate checking accounts for many years, still do, but now we do have a joint one also. It works out great. No one has to ask or explain any purchases if it was done with their own money. Big purchases done with the joint account is a different story, but I work for my money as does he, and if I want to spend my money on something that seems frivolous (sp)to him, I do, no questons asked. Money has NEVER been an issue in our relationship, but has been in past ones where there was only one account.
I think it’s the only way to go.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooperdog, yes, I rent but plan to own a home in the near future. So, my scenarios do make sense.

“In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.”

I see nothing confusing about it. Again, most likely we will share a residence. I can’t picture being away from the one I love for long. That would mean sharing food, utility, and entertainment costs and being jointly responsible for other properties that we choose to aquire. Does this clear things up for you?

I don’t think my preferences have anything to do with my readiness to enter a relationship at this time. There are others who do this and have been successful at it for years.

I am not opposed to a pre-nup. I am opposed to people being mistrustful and controlling in a marriage or serious relationship.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

I think if you reread your last post to me you will see the necessity of a prenup. You essentially make a strong case for its validity, when you relate through your own perspective how you do NOT want your major assets (a house – whether for monetary or sentimental reasons) jeopardized.

Hopefully will realize you should afford the same courtesy to potential suitors who would bring such up, as well as others on this board who may not want to share their future spouses “negative” assets (i.e. debt), or establish joint accounts.

Also, I was under the assumption that you currently rent and do not own a home. If this is correct, then your scenarios above make no sense. Although it is a real-estate blog, it is a personal question, and I understand if you decline to answer.

In addition, your willingness to enter into investment/2nd home deals with a future husband (who must eventually or currently own his own primary home, which you will not own, and simultaneously not share your “personal” residence, possibly commuting between the two, yet require joint accounts, is very confusing to say the least.

To be honest, your prior relationships negative outcome & your comments point to someone who maybe isn’t ready for a another relationship at this time.

[Anonymous]

Cooper: “Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.”

Rustico: “Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).”

Rustico, A home has sentimental value to me, not just monetary value that is why I don’t want to be forced to sell if I remarry and there is a divorce. I know there is a buy out option, but I’d rather not have my house on the line. Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future.

Cooper, assuming my new husband has a home of his own, these are the possibilities for living arrangements:

1) If he’s agreeable, we live in one house and rent the other out.

2) We live in seperate houses, and divide the time we spend between residences. This is probably a less likely scenario.

I haven’t thought the legalities through, but I see no reason why this shouldn’t work. A couple more things: Cooper, no I wouldn’t want or require joint ownership. I’m not a gold-digger and don’t want a part of his house, which means no, I would not and see no reason for me to put mysself on his mortgage.

Lastly, I would buy a vacation home with him, investment property or business property. I just don’t want my personal residence put at risk because it will be a place where I have raised my children and somewhere both they and I can always go back to.

Voz…

Kiss it goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Cooper: “Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.”

Rustico: “Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).”

Rustico, A home has sentimental value to me, not just monetary value that is why I don’t want to be forced to sell if I remarry and there is a divorce. I know there is a buy out option, but I’d rather not have my house on the line. Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future.

Cooper, assuming my new husband has a home of his own, these are the possibilities for living arrangements:

1) If he’s agreeable, we live in one house and rent the other out.

2) We live in seperate houses, and divide the time we spend between residences. This is probably a less likely scenario.

I haven’t thought the legalities through, but I see no reason why this shouldn’t work. A couple more things: Cooper, no I wouldn’t want or require joint ownership. I’m not a gold-digger and don’t want a part of his house, which means no, I would not and see no reason for me to put mysself on his mortgage.

Lastly, I would buy a vacation home with him, investment property or business property. I just don’t want my personal residence put at risk because it will be a place where I have raised my children and somewhere both they and I can always go back to.

Voz…

Kiss it goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Cooper: “Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.”

Rustico: “Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).”

Rustico, A home has sentimental value to me, not just monetary value that is why I don’t want to be forced to sell if I remarry and there is a divorce. I know there is a buy out option, but I’d rather not have my house on the line. Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future.

Cooper, assuming my new husband has a home of his own, these are the possibilities for living arrangements:

1) If he’s agreeable, we live in one house and rent the other out.

2) We live in seperate houses, and divide the time we spend between residences. This is probably a less likely scenario.

I haven’t thought the legalities through, but I see no reason why this shouldn’t work. A couple more things: Cooper, no I wouldn’t want or require joint ownership. I’m not a gold-digger and don’t want a part of his house, which means no, I would not and see no reason for me to put mysself on his mortgage.

Lastly, I would buy a vacation home with him, investment property or business property. I just don’t want my personal residence put at risk because it will be a place where I have raised my children and somewhere both they and I can always go back to.

Voz…

Kiss it goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Cooper: “Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.”

Rustico: “Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).”

Rustico, A home has sentimental value to me, not just monetary value that is why I don’t want to be forced to sell if I remarry and there is a divorce. I know there is a buy out option, but I’d rather not have my house on the line. Yes, I would date a man that did not own his own home with the caveat that he would own it in the not-too-distant future.

Cooper, assuming my new husband has a home of his own, these are the possibilities for living arrangements:

1) If he’s agreeable, we live in one house and rent the other out.

2) We live in seperate houses, and divide the time we spend between residences. This is probably a less likely scenario.

I haven’t thought the legalities through, but I see no reason why this shouldn’t work. A couple more things: Cooper, no I wouldn’t want or require joint ownership. I’m not a gold-digger and don’t want a part of his house, which means no, I would not and see no reason for me to put mysself on his mortgage.

Lastly, I would buy a vacation home with him, investment property or business property. I just don’t want my personal residence put at risk because it will be a place where I have raised my children and somewhere both they and I can always go back to.

Voz…

Kiss it goodbye.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.

[cooperthedog]

Marion,

Lets assume you meet mr. right and you now have that critical joint-checking account… at some point in the future your new husband wants to settle down and buy a house, since you state that you will NEVER buy a house with a man again, how does this proceed?

1) Buy adjoining condos, or a duplex, using money from your separate accounts & knock out a common wall.

2) Use his accounts to secure the loan, but make sure the deed is joint-tentants…

If he already owns a house, do you require joint ownership, is this a “deal-breaker” too, and if so, would you be willing to put yourself on the mortgage (assume the current housing market).

Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Voz: “Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

Voz,

assuming…

it’s correct that 50% of marriages end in divorce, whatever amount of money you’re trying to protect from her creditors is a waste of time anyway…

Kiss it goodbye.

You might win the coin toss so relax a little on the paranoia.

Oh, and since you only have a week before the wedding night, lay off the whiskey a bit; It’s not good for the libido.

[NotCranky]

Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).

[NotCranky]

Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).

[NotCranky]

Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).

[NotCranky]

Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).

[NotCranky]

Marion does the man you are dating own his own home and would you date a man who did not own a home? I can see how you can own a home with man without buying one with him ;).

[VoZangre]

Straw Poll

Carlos should

a) listen to Marion and her extra x chromosome

b) listen to SMART MONEY advice.

ciao for now…

Voz

[tothjj]

Marion, your thread is really funny. You are quite cheeky. I think it has lasted so long because you coming to this forum is like a hot girl dressed like Princess Lea showing up at Comic-Con…instant celebrity. Keep up the good work.

[tothjj]

Marion, your thread is really funny. You are quite cheeky. I think it has lasted so long because you coming to this forum is like a hot girl dressed like Princess Lea showing up at Comic-Con…instant celebrity. Keep up the good work.

[tothjj]

Marion, your thread is really funny. You are quite cheeky. I think it has lasted so long because you coming to this forum is like a hot girl dressed like Princess Lea showing up at Comic-Con…instant celebrity. Keep up the good work.

[tothjj]

Marion, your thread is really funny. You are quite cheeky. I think it has lasted so long because you coming to this forum is like a hot girl dressed like Princess Lea showing up at Comic-Con…instant celebrity. Keep up the good work.

[tothjj]

Marion, your thread is really funny. You are quite cheeky. I think it has lasted so long because you coming to this forum is like a hot girl dressed like Princess Lea showing up at Comic-Con…instant celebrity. Keep up the good work.

[NotCranky]

Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. I do want to know where your inspiration for those double diamond references the other day came from though but that must have set you back a bit.

[Anonymous]

Rustico: “Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. ”

Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.

I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.

I enjoy reading the different perspectives on here of what marriage and committed relationships entail. The older, in a lot of cases, more traditional guys view their wives as an extension of themselves, someone to take care of. You don’t want her to be too independent. Since you are traditional, you wouldn’t want/need separate accounts.

There are those that are more jaded and view marriage less of a melding of two people. They are more open to joint accounts. I’d say this group tends to be younger.

Then there are the younger ones who are more traditional and less jaded. These are less likely to insist on separate accounts.

This is generational, of course other factors play into it as well.

Just some thoughts.

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[NotCranky]

Carlos,
Nope, train derailed I guess. We have a joint account and I have a separate acct. I was referring to the debt, but wanted to be coy. In that dept., we started off in a similar fashion, as you and your future wife, to the dollar. I paid it for her and she was paying me back when our first child came along. I threw the note in the trash and have never regretted that. I was embarrassed to be billing my pregnant wife. What can I say I am “old fashioned”. My wife is an excellent family finance partner despite her original situation.
I meant to be encouraging to you.
Almost forgot to opine on your actual question. I think it is fair and wise, to have separate accounts in your situation. I did, and a prenup. I have since thrown that away to, under no duress. I would gladly split our assets half and half if we were ever to be divorced, which I doubt will ever happen.

[NotCranky]

“Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.”

I have separate checking account from my wife but it isn’t about control of money. I have it for my self employment income to keep accounting simplified.I guess I should ahve realized I was not adressing the issue. We have very few concerns about what the other is spending.We are both frugal enough and make good decision most of which we talk about.

“I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.”

Yeah that is true with pretty with anything to do with a relationship. Give and take is the way to do it.

Anyway this thread is really about money so you must have meant “affairs of the heart” tounge- in -cheek?
By comparison, I trust the sincerity of the “fisrt kiss” thread.

[NotCranky]

“Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.”

I have separate checking account from my wife but it isn’t about control of money. I have it for my self employment income to keep accounting simplified.I guess I should ahve realized I was not adressing the issue. We have very few concerns about what the other is spending.We are both frugal enough and make good decision most of which we talk about.

“I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.”

Yeah that is true with pretty with anything to do with a relationship. Give and take is the way to do it.

Anyway this thread is really about money so you must have meant “affairs of the heart” tounge- in -cheek?
By comparison, I trust the sincerity of the “fisrt kiss” thread.

[NotCranky]

“Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.”

I have separate checking account from my wife but it isn’t about control of money. I have it for my self employment income to keep accounting simplified.I guess I should ahve realized I was not adressing the issue. We have very few concerns about what the other is spending.We are both frugal enough and make good decision most of which we talk about.

“I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.”

Yeah that is true with pretty with anything to do with a relationship. Give and take is the way to do it.

Anyway this thread is really about money so you must have meant “affairs of the heart” tounge- in -cheek?
By comparison, I trust the sincerity of the “fisrt kiss” thread.

[NotCranky]

“Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.”

I have separate checking account from my wife but it isn’t about control of money. I have it for my self employment income to keep accounting simplified.I guess I should ahve realized I was not adressing the issue. We have very few concerns about what the other is spending.We are both frugal enough and make good decision most of which we talk about.

“I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.”

Yeah that is true with pretty with anything to do with a relationship. Give and take is the way to do it.

Anyway this thread is really about money so you must have meant “affairs of the heart” tounge- in -cheek?
By comparison, I trust the sincerity of the “fisrt kiss” thread.

[NotCranky]

“Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.”

I have separate checking account from my wife but it isn’t about control of money. I have it for my self employment income to keep accounting simplified.I guess I should ahve realized I was not adressing the issue. We have very few concerns about what the other is spending.We are both frugal enough and make good decision most of which we talk about.

“I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.”

Yeah that is true with pretty with anything to do with a relationship. Give and take is the way to do it.

Anyway this thread is really about money so you must have meant “affairs of the heart” tounge- in -cheek?
By comparison, I trust the sincerity of the “fisrt kiss” thread.

[Anonymous]

Rustico: “Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. ”

Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.

I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.

I enjoy reading the different perspectives on here of what marriage and committed relationships entail. The older, in a lot of cases, more traditional guys view their wives as an extension of themselves, someone to take care of. You don’t want her to be too independent. Since you are traditional, you wouldn’t want/need separate accounts.

There are those that are more jaded and view marriage less of a melding of two people. They are more open to joint accounts. I’d say this group tends to be younger.

Then there are the younger ones who are more traditional and less jaded. These are less likely to insist on separate accounts.

This is generational, of course other factors play into it as well.

Just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Rustico: “Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. ”

Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.

I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.

I enjoy reading the different perspectives on here of what marriage and committed relationships entail. The older, in a lot of cases, more traditional guys view their wives as an extension of themselves, someone to take care of. You don’t want her to be too independent. Since you are traditional, you wouldn’t want/need separate accounts.

There are those that are more jaded and view marriage less of a melding of two people. They are more open to joint accounts. I’d say this group tends to be younger.

Then there are the younger ones who are more traditional and less jaded. These are less likely to insist on separate accounts.

This is generational, of course other factors play into it as well.

Just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Rustico: “Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. ”

Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.

I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.

I enjoy reading the different perspectives on here of what marriage and committed relationships entail. The older, in a lot of cases, more traditional guys view their wives as an extension of themselves, someone to take care of. You don’t want her to be too independent. Since you are traditional, you wouldn’t want/need separate accounts.

There are those that are more jaded and view marriage less of a melding of two people. They are more open to joint accounts. I’d say this group tends to be younger.

Then there are the younger ones who are more traditional and less jaded. These are less likely to insist on separate accounts.

This is generational, of course other factors play into it as well.

Just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Rustico: “Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. ”

Rustico, are you saying that you have a separate checking account from your wife? You don’t seem like the sort. I thought you were older and have been married for a considerable time. I could be thinking of another piggington though.

I’m of the opinion that this kind of thing will only work if both parties want it.

I enjoy reading the different perspectives on here of what marriage and committed relationships entail. The older, in a lot of cases, more traditional guys view their wives as an extension of themselves, someone to take care of. You don’t want her to be too independent. Since you are traditional, you wouldn’t want/need separate accounts.

There are those that are more jaded and view marriage less of a melding of two people. They are more open to joint accounts. I’d say this group tends to be younger.

Then there are the younger ones who are more traditional and less jaded. These are less likely to insist on separate accounts.

This is generational, of course other factors play into it as well.

Just some thoughts.

[NotCranky]

Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. I do want to know where your inspiration for those double diamond references the other day came from though but that must have set you back a bit.

[NotCranky]

Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. I do want to know where your inspiration for those double diamond references the other day came from though but that must have set you back a bit.

[NotCranky]

Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. I do want to know where your inspiration for those double diamond references the other day came from though but that must have set you back a bit.

[NotCranky]

Carlos, If you are not relaxed, relax and don’t use whiskey to do it. Your situation isn’t so unique and it is working fine for some of us who got started under similar circumstances. I do want to know where your inspiration for those double diamond references the other day came from though but that must have set you back a bit.

[VoZangre]

Straw Poll

Carlos should

a) listen to Marion and her extra x chromosome

b) listen to SMART MONEY advice.

ciao for now…

Voz

[VoZangre]

Straw Poll

Carlos should

a) listen to Marion and her extra x chromosome

b) listen to SMART MONEY advice.

ciao for now…

Voz

[VoZangre]

Straw Poll

Carlos should

a) listen to Marion and her extra x chromosome

b) listen to SMART MONEY advice.

ciao for now…

Voz

[VoZangre]

Straw Poll

Carlos should

a) listen to Marion and her extra x chromosome

b) listen to SMART MONEY advice.

ciao for now…

Voz

[Anonymous]

Voz: “Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

Voz,

assuming…

it’s correct that 50% of marriages end in divorce, whatever amount of money you’re trying to protect from her creditors is a waste of time anyway…

Kiss it goodbye.

You might win the coin toss so relax a little on the paranoia.

Oh, and since you only have a week before the wedding night, lay off the whiskey a bit; It’s not good for the libido.

[Anonymous]

Voz: “Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

Voz,

assuming…

it’s correct that 50% of marriages end in divorce, whatever amount of money you’re trying to protect from her creditors is a waste of time anyway…

Kiss it goodbye.

You might win the coin toss so relax a little on the paranoia.

Oh, and since you only have a week before the wedding night, lay off the whiskey a bit; It’s not good for the libido.

[Anonymous]

Voz: “Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

Voz,

assuming…

it’s correct that 50% of marriages end in divorce, whatever amount of money you’re trying to protect from her creditors is a waste of time anyway…

Kiss it goodbye.

You might win the coin toss so relax a little on the paranoia.

Oh, and since you only have a week before the wedding night, lay off the whiskey a bit; It’s not good for the libido.

[Anonymous]

Voz: “Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

Voz,

assuming…

it’s correct that 50% of marriages end in divorce, whatever amount of money you’re trying to protect from her creditors is a waste of time anyway…

Kiss it goodbye.

You might win the coin toss so relax a little on the paranoia.

Oh, and since you only have a week before the wedding night, lay off the whiskey a bit; It’s not good for the libido.

[VoZangre]

Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

re: http://www.smartmoney.com/divorce/marriage/index.cfm?story=mistakes

Marion,

Of course you are not “buying” it! The first reason for this is that

a) I am not selling it and
b) you accurately gauge that whether you lend credence or no to the facts as they are is absolutely irrelevant.

ciao for now…

Voz

ps- my stomach IS churning a bit!! 🙂

it has more to do w/ myriad details of the logistical sort, the necessity of working this evening and a sore lack of access to whiskey.

[VoZangre]

Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

re: http://www.smartmoney.com/divorce/marriage/index.cfm?story=mistakes

Marion,

Of course you are not “buying” it! The first reason for this is that

a) I am not selling it and
b) you accurately gauge that whether you lend credence or no to the facts as they are is absolutely irrelevant.

ciao for now…

Voz

ps- my stomach IS churning a bit!! 🙂

it has more to do w/ myriad details of the logistical sort, the necessity of working this evening and a sore lack of access to whiskey.

[VoZangre]

Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

re: http://www.smartmoney.com/divorce/marriage/index.cfm?story=mistakes

Marion,

Of course you are not “buying” it! The first reason for this is that

a) I am not selling it and
b) you accurately gauge that whether you lend credence or no to the facts as they are is absolutely irrelevant.

ciao for now…

Voz

ps- my stomach IS churning a bit!! 🙂

it has more to do w/ myriad details of the logistical sort, the necessity of working this evening and a sore lack of access to whiskey.

[VoZangre]

Assume…

a) Your assumption is actually what I’d LIKE to assume. She’s in the denial stage.

Thus…

” Granted, you’re not legally responsible for the credit-card balances ran up before you got married, or for any loans opened in your spouse’s name alone — provided you keep your finances completely separate. ”

re: http://www.smartmoney.com/divorce/marriage/index.cfm?story=mistakes

Marion,

Of course you are not “buying” it! The first reason for this is that

a) I am not selling it and
b) you accurately gauge that whether you lend credence or no to the facts as they are is absolutely irrelevant.

ciao for now…

Voz

ps- my stomach IS churning a bit!! 🙂

it has more to do w/ myriad details of the logistical sort, the necessity of working this evening and a sore lack of access to whiskey.

[Anonymous]

Ex-SD: “This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

How about we change it to “why I’ll never get married again.”

🙂

[Anonymous]

Ex-SD: “This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

How about we change it to “why I’ll never get married again.”

🙂

[Anonymous]

Ex-SD: “This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

How about we change it to “why I’ll never get married again.”

🙂

[Anonymous]

Ex-SD: “This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

How about we change it to “why I’ll never get married again.”

🙂

[Ex-SD]

This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

[Ex-SD]

This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

[Ex-SD]

This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

[Ex-SD]

This thread should be re-named : “AS THE STOMACH TURNS”
🙂

[Anonymous]

davelj: “In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks.”

So sad. I hope your parents didn’t have the same view of you. Did they?…

“That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.”

That’s not what I said. You stated that kids were a bad idea. You should have qualified that by saying that kids were a bad idea for YOU. And yes, I hold to my conviction that anyone that doesn’t want to see kids running around on this planet is “cold and scary”. But, I suppose it’s expected for someone who thinks in the grand scheme of things humans are irrelevant anyway.

Voz, sorry, but I still don’t buy the separate account thing. You claim all this love and how you took your fiance out on wonderful dates and how you like to throw money around. All good. But, you can’t share a checking account because she has a student loan? Not buying it.

I’m assuming she’s paying on her loan or has ever intention to pay, so the loan itself should be a non-issue. If the fact that your significant other is 35K in debt rattles your nerves, maybe you should rethink the marriage. As far as the creditors raiding a joint account, it doesn’t seem like that would hold up in court, but I’m not certain.

[Anonymous]

davelj: “In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks.”

So sad. I hope your parents didn’t have the same view of you. Did they?…

“That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.”

That’s not what I said. You stated that kids were a bad idea. You should have qualified that by saying that kids were a bad idea for YOU. And yes, I hold to my conviction that anyone that doesn’t want to see kids running around on this planet is “cold and scary”. But, I suppose it’s expected for someone who thinks in the grand scheme of things humans are irrelevant anyway.

Voz, sorry, but I still don’t buy the separate account thing. You claim all this love and how you took your fiance out on wonderful dates and how you like to throw money around. All good. But, you can’t share a checking account because she has a student loan? Not buying it.

I’m assuming she’s paying on her loan or has ever intention to pay, so the loan itself should be a non-issue. If the fact that your significant other is 35K in debt rattles your nerves, maybe you should rethink the marriage. As far as the creditors raiding a joint account, it doesn’t seem like that would hold up in court, but I’m not certain.

[Anonymous]

davelj: “In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks.”

So sad. I hope your parents didn’t have the same view of you. Did they?…

“That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.”

That’s not what I said. You stated that kids were a bad idea. You should have qualified that by saying that kids were a bad idea for YOU. And yes, I hold to my conviction that anyone that doesn’t want to see kids running around on this planet is “cold and scary”. But, I suppose it’s expected for someone who thinks in the grand scheme of things humans are irrelevant anyway.

Voz, sorry, but I still don’t buy the separate account thing. You claim all this love and how you took your fiance out on wonderful dates and how you like to throw money around. All good. But, you can’t share a checking account because she has a student loan? Not buying it.

I’m assuming she’s paying on her loan or has ever intention to pay, so the loan itself should be a non-issue. If the fact that your significant other is 35K in debt rattles your nerves, maybe you should rethink the marriage. As far as the creditors raiding a joint account, it doesn’t seem like that would hold up in court, but I’m not certain.

[Anonymous]

davelj: “In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks.”

So sad. I hope your parents didn’t have the same view of you. Did they?…

“That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.”

That’s not what I said. You stated that kids were a bad idea. You should have qualified that by saying that kids were a bad idea for YOU. And yes, I hold to my conviction that anyone that doesn’t want to see kids running around on this planet is “cold and scary”. But, I suppose it’s expected for someone who thinks in the grand scheme of things humans are irrelevant anyway.

Voz, sorry, but I still don’t buy the separate account thing. You claim all this love and how you took your fiance out on wonderful dates and how you like to throw money around. All good. But, you can’t share a checking account because she has a student loan? Not buying it.

I’m assuming she’s paying on her loan or has ever intention to pay, so the loan itself should be a non-issue. If the fact that your significant other is 35K in debt rattles your nerves, maybe you should rethink the marriage. As far as the creditors raiding a joint account, it doesn’t seem like that would hold up in court, but I’m not certain.

[davelj]

Marion: “It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world.”

In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks. That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.

[davelj]

Marion: “It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world.”

In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks. That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.

[davelj]

Marion: “It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world.”

In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks. That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.

[davelj]

Marion: “It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world.”

In my view kids are not the best part of this world. They’re anchors that restrict freedom and adventure. But that’s just my view, obviously not shared by the majority or yourself. But that’s ok. Different strokes for different folks. That you find anyone who doesn’t want kids “cold and scary” is patently ridiculous (and hysterically funny). But, of course, you’re free to hold such a misconception. In fact, it benefits those of us who have no interest in kids because our frigid-scary natures will (hopefully) scare the likes of you away, thus reducing the odds of our ever having to interact on any level save an internet forum.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question. ”

Where is the irony?? Ok, so me wanting him to take me on a nice date to gauge his true interest equates to me being after his money? Puleeze, dude!

It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world. Ok, done with that.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question. ”

Where is the irony?? Ok, so me wanting him to take me on a nice date to gauge his true interest equates to me being after his money? Puleeze, dude!

It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world. Ok, done with that.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question. ”

Where is the irony?? Ok, so me wanting him to take me on a nice date to gauge his true interest equates to me being after his money? Puleeze, dude!

It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world. Ok, done with that.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question. ”

Where is the irony?? Ok, so me wanting him to take me on a nice date to gauge his true interest equates to me being after his money? Puleeze, dude!

It isn’t what this thread is about, so I won’t even argue your view of kids except to say that someone that doesn’t want to see kids running around is scary to me. No judgement of you, it’s just plain cold and scary. Kids are the best part of this world. Ok, done with that.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[davelj]

Marion: “I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women.”

Yes, I’m generalizing. Hence my use of “IN GENERAL TERMS” – in capitals, no less. There are exceptions to every rule.

Marion: “In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them… Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.”

I find this rich in irony considering your initial post. Consider this: Would any man – I repeat, any man – even consider posting anything in even the same galaxy as what you wrote in your initial post here? That’s a rhetorical question.

Marion: “And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.”

I’m indifferent to the human race. Don’t get me wrong, I greatly enjoy being a human and don’t want other humans to die out while I’m still alive. But, in the big picture, humans are nothing more than the species that happens to be at the top of the food chain on planet earth at this moment in time. In the whole scheme of the universe, humans are… well… quite irrelevant. Thus, the extinction of the human race – which is inevitable at some point – is no big deal to me. Although I sympathize with your view – it’s common for members of a particular group to mistakenly overemphasize their own importance as part of a greater whole.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females.”

No need. I love a good discussion.

Agreed. The man was the protector of the women and children who because of their physical make-up were not able to defend themselves against the much stronger man.

“Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.”

I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women. This is the exact attitudes that keep us from earning the same salary you do even though we do the exact same job.

In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them. I put myself through college just so I can have the opportunity to provide myself with the lifestyle I desire. Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.

Am I in the minority? With the amount of vapid women in existence today, probably. That said, there are many others like me. However, if a woman hasn’t had children yet and both desire them and want to stay at home and raise them, unless she’s had time to save for this event (or wealthy parents), then you’d be right.

And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females.”

No need. I love a good discussion.

Agreed. The man was the protector of the women and children who because of their physical make-up were not able to defend themselves against the much stronger man.

“Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.”

I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women. This is the exact attitudes that keep us from earning the same salary you do even though we do the exact same job.

In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them. I put myself through college just so I can have the opportunity to provide myself with the lifestyle I desire. Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.

Am I in the minority? With the amount of vapid women in existence today, probably. That said, there are many others like me. However, if a woman hasn’t had children yet and both desire them and want to stay at home and raise them, unless she’s had time to save for this event (or wealthy parents), then you’d be right.

And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females.”

No need. I love a good discussion.

Agreed. The man was the protector of the women and children who because of their physical make-up were not able to defend themselves against the much stronger man.

“Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.”

I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women. This is the exact attitudes that keep us from earning the same salary you do even though we do the exact same job.

In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them. I put myself through college just so I can have the opportunity to provide myself with the lifestyle I desire. Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.

Am I in the minority? With the amount of vapid women in existence today, probably. That said, there are many others like me. However, if a woman hasn’t had children yet and both desire them and want to stay at home and raise them, unless she’s had time to save for this event (or wealthy parents), then you’d be right.

And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.

[Anonymous]

dave: “I’ll spare you a long diatribe on evolutionary psychology but, put simply, a man’s ability to make money is a signal, albeit a somewhat flawed one, of his ability to protect and provide for a woman and (their future?) children. (The biggest problem here is that there is a difference between “ability” and “willingness.”) Twenty thousand years ago agility and brute strength were a man’s primary evolutionary advantage in attracting females.”

No need. I love a good discussion.

Agreed. The man was the protector of the women and children who because of their physical make-up were not able to defend themselves against the much stronger man.

“Today brute strength, looks, etc. definitely help, but IN GENERAL TERMS the most important trait in attracting females is, quite obviously, the ability to make money. (THIS IS NOT A GOOD OR BAD THING HOWEVER. It’s merely an evolutionary adaptation – it’s morally neutral.) The vast majority of women over the age of 25 subconsciously know this to be true whether or not they are willing to admit it to themselves.”

I don’t agree with this. You’re generalizing women. This is the exact attitudes that keep us from earning the same salary you do even though we do the exact same job.

In today’s world, there are those of us who don’t care what our significant other makes. I’m one of them. I put myself through college just so I can have the opportunity to provide myself with the lifestyle I desire. Not only do I not need a man to provide it for me, but I don’t want him to.

Am I in the minority? With the amount of vapid women in existence today, probably. That said, there are many others like me. However, if a woman hasn’t had children yet and both desire them and want to stay at home and raise them, unless she’s had time to save for this event (or wealthy parents), then you’d be right.

And what’s this about kids being a bad idea? I guess we should let the human race die out then.

[Anonymous]

pablo: “As a single man, here’s my cynical take on the lunch dates: He finds you attractive but isn’t sold on you. He has other things going on in the evening that are a sure thing. He thinks if you believe he really likes you, he’ll get to see you naked. He just doesn’t want to have to cut into the valuable time he spends with the friends he’s known for years, or the other women he dates. In a nutshell, after 4 dates, he probably wants to know he’s got a decent chance of getting some if he shells out the bucks and time for a nice dinner. Given your postings, it doesn’t appear that’ll happen anytime soon for him.”

He said I’m the only one he’s dating. Of course, we all know it doesn’t mean this is truth.

There has been no agreement of exclusivity.

“Doesn’t make him a bad guy. But perhaps not the right guy for you. If you thought he was sincere about really liking you, would you sleep with him? I’m just wondering if my theory holds any water. I know it’s personal, but that ship sailed awhile ago. Best of luck.”

I only desire intimacy with men I believe like me. But, this isn’t the issue here. I think he does. I think he’s not sure I like HIM, so he doesn’t want to overspend (in his mind) until he’s sure. The other likely posibility is he’s stingy (not to be confussed with prudence), which is something I don’t like. Actually, I don’t like my first suspicion either because it means he’s lumping me into a category based on past experiences with other women. As some of you suggested though, I could be sensitive to that by telling him I’d like to do something different and he can take that info and do with it what he likes.

[novice1027]

I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.
Besides, when I was single I always figured it was best to sleep with the guy first, that way if he was lousy in bed, I wouldn’t waste anymore of my time, lol!!

[novice1027]

I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.
Besides, when I was single I always figured it was best to sleep with the guy first, that way if he was lousy in bed, I wouldn’t waste anymore of my time, lol!!

[novice1027]

I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.
Besides, when I was single I always figured it was best to sleep with the guy first, that way if he was lousy in bed, I wouldn’t waste anymore of my time, lol!!

[novice1027]

I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.
Besides, when I was single I always figured it was best to sleep with the guy first, that way if he was lousy in bed, I wouldn’t waste anymore of my time, lol!!

[novice1027]

I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.
Besides, when I was single I always figured it was best to sleep with the guy first, that way if he was lousy in bed, I wouldn’t waste anymore of my time, lol!!

[patientrenter]

Marion, you’ve made a few waves as one of the few women on a nearly all-male forum. It certainly spices it up for us.

I tend to subscribe to the evolutionary theories of relationships. We men want to spread our seed just about everywhere, preferably for the least commitment in return.

Women’s programming is more complicated. Evolution indicates a woman either wants a solid, reliable, loyal provider for a future long term supportive relationship, or a fling to get genes from an exceptional specimen (the “bad boy”). Either can work for women following the psychology evolution gave them. Best of all is a fling for the genes on the side combined with the solid reliable cuckold for economic and emotional and other support.

You clearly think this guy is a candidate for reliable husband, and not your bad boy fling. From his perspective, he’s still hoping he can be your bad boy who makes no commitment. It’s the moment of truth, and the disparity between your hopes is about to be revealed. You just have to be firm. He might still want to be with you, but then you and he will both know that he’ll be playing the role of the reliable provider.

Or maybe you’ll go for that fling? Good luck either way.

Patient renter in OC

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “It’s the moment of truth, and the disparity between your hopes is about to be revealed. You just have to be firm. He might still want to be with you, but then you and he will both know that he’ll be playing the role of the reliable provider.”

Reliable provider? Nah. Not only do I want to play that role for myself, I NEED to. Not everybody can understand that. I don’t even want to buy a house with a man again.

It seems that some of you men feel that if you’re not the provider, you’re misplaced somehow. Understandable. There are different things that can make a man feel loved and needed, when I settle on someone, I’ll have to use another way to meet that need.

novice: “I say if you have this many questions about someone after four dates. Stop wasting yours and his time.”

Novice, I have enjoyed his company. This topic has been the only issue thus far.

[novice1027]

Marion,
If you like the guy otherwise, why don’t you take him on a nice date, maybe then he will realize you are not a after him because of his money.
Maybe he’s just a “Y” chromosome, that doesn’t really understand what a “nice date” is. You know they can be simple creatures 🙂 (but we love you anyways!)

[Anonymous]

Since most of the comments have been men, I’ll chime in with my two cents as a woman.

I think you have two separate issues: one – while you seem to enjoy his company, you haven’t been “impressed” by his choices of where and how to spend time with you. This could be as simple as a difference in styles. If this is important to you then I would suggest that you take the reins and plan the next date and pay for it. It will solidfy your claims that you are an independent woman and capable of paying for yourself and making your own decisions. Whatever his reaction to the choice of the date and your outlay of cash will tell you a lot about him, more than i think you are currently finding out wondering out loud on this board.

The other issue seems to be his seemingly abrupt, almost non-sequitur mentioning of a pre-nup. At some point you may want to discuss it with him, should you feel like the direction of relationship warrants it. After 4 dates, it is more likely a way to tell you has “money” And whether that is actually true or a sham only time will tell. I personally would ignore it….its a red herring right now.
In my experience the earlier a pre-nup is mentioned the less money there is.
You seem to be a very smart, capable and independent woman, time to take charge if you want to test the waters and see what he’s made of…
If you have lived at all you have suffered the damage of relational collisions – what you do with it defines your future. If I remember your story a little, then you are likely to be a little sensitive to a “stingy” guy and while he may be “stingy”, he could just be clueless.

[Anonymous]

If you have gone on four dates and still no sex, then your friend is clearly not a student of Leykis 101.

Regarding the pre-nup, the guy mentioning it after four dates is weird, pointless, bizarre, don’t know what else to say.

In general I am in favor of pre-nups but in reality they may not always be necessary unless you are very wealthy or have complex financial situations. California is a communinity property state and legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property. However, one sticky point for my is if you have significant wealth (from before marriage) earning significant capital gains during marriage. These gains could potentially be considered community property if you are actively managing these investments. This is one situation that I can think of where a pre-nup may be advisable.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

your argument is superficial and reveals far more about you than you would ever want to admit…

you and your man deserve each other…

[pnilesh]

After reading marion’s post I remembered something that happened abotu 10yrs ago. This is back in India and concept of western style dating was not too popular then.. just catching up

Anyway, I was able to introduce my classmate (he) and my friend (she). Soon, they started “dating” and after a couple of weeks I asked my classmate how things were going.. and his response was: everything was going great except that she still owed me 10 bucks from the date…

apparantely when they dated, this guy asked the gal to split the bill…

thot that was funny…

[pnilesh]

After reading marion’s post I remembered something that happened abotu 10yrs ago. This is back in India and concept of western style dating was not too popular then.. just catching up

Anyway, I was able to introduce my classmate (he) and my friend (she). Soon, they started “dating” and after a couple of weeks I asked my classmate how things were going.. and his response was: everything was going great except that she still owed me 10 bucks from the date…

apparantely when they dated, this guy asked the gal to split the bill…

thot that was funny…

[pnilesh]

After reading marion’s post I remembered something that happened abotu 10yrs ago. This is back in India and concept of western style dating was not too popular then.. just catching up

Anyway, I was able to introduce my classmate (he) and my friend (she). Soon, they started “dating” and after a couple of weeks I asked my classmate how things were going.. and his response was: everything was going great except that she still owed me 10 bucks from the date…

apparantely when they dated, this guy asked the gal to split the bill…

thot that was funny…

[pnilesh]

After reading marion’s post I remembered something that happened abotu 10yrs ago. This is back in India and concept of western style dating was not too popular then.. just catching up

Anyway, I was able to introduce my classmate (he) and my friend (she). Soon, they started “dating” and after a couple of weeks I asked my classmate how things were going.. and his response was: everything was going great except that she still owed me 10 bucks from the date…

apparantely when they dated, this guy asked the gal to split the bill…

thot that was funny…

[pnilesh]

After reading marion’s post I remembered something that happened abotu 10yrs ago. This is back in India and concept of western style dating was not too popular then.. just catching up

Anyway, I was able to introduce my classmate (he) and my friend (she). Soon, they started “dating” and after a couple of weeks I asked my classmate how things were going.. and his response was: everything was going great except that she still owed me 10 bucks from the date…

apparantely when they dated, this guy asked the gal to split the bill…

thot that was funny…

[Anonymous]

So, if I took this guy somewhere nice on a subsequent date and paid the bill, would you still consider me superficial?

I just happen to be old-fashioned. The guy goes first.

[Anonymous]

So, if I took this guy somewhere nice on a subsequent date and paid the bill, would you still consider me superficial?

I just happen to be old-fashioned. The guy goes first.

[Anonymous]

So, if I took this guy somewhere nice on a subsequent date and paid the bill, would you still consider me superficial?

I just happen to be old-fashioned. The guy goes first.

[Anonymous]

So, if I took this guy somewhere nice on a subsequent date and paid the bill, would you still consider me superficial?

I just happen to be old-fashioned. The guy goes first.

[Anonymous]

So, if I took this guy somewhere nice on a subsequent date and paid the bill, would you still consider me superficial?

I just happen to be old-fashioned. The guy goes first.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

your argument is superficial and reveals far more about you than you would ever want to admit…

you and your man deserve each other…

[VoZangre]

Marion…

your argument is superficial and reveals far more about you than you would ever want to admit…

you and your man deserve each other…

[VoZangre]

Marion…

your argument is superficial and reveals far more about you than you would ever want to admit…

you and your man deserve each other…

[VoZangre]

Marion…

your argument is superficial and reveals far more about you than you would ever want to admit…

you and your man deserve each other…

[patientrenter]

“legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property”. What happens if those previous assets require some upkeep after the marriage, like a house would? It seems that might taint the separate property quality of the previous assets.

I’m not an attorney. I wonder if the only way to really be sure that prior assets don’t become community property is to put them in a fully self-sustaining trust, with other assets that generate enough income to pay any upkeep expenses.

And I’ve heard relying on a pre-nup is like tossing a coin… Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. You’ll never know it doesn’t work until you need it.

I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC”

Patientrenter, would you like me to tell you where you can shove said assets?

[patientrenter]

My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion. My only point is that if I exercised the same financial prudence in considering marriage as most Piggingtons do buying a home, then I’d need to double my assets first, unless someone’s discovered a truly sure way to keep separate assets separate.

Patient renter in OC

[VoZangre]

Uy!

Cantankerous, eh?

Would I PREFER joint accounts and such? Yes.

Is it wise considering she’s so much in the red? No.

It’s not a point I am proud of. It simply is a fact.

I am not exposing her financially. I won’t allow myself to be exposed either. It is not my fault nor responsibility that she was fiscally unwise or naive.

The situation as it is makes me a little sad, truth be told.

[patientrenter]

I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC

[Anonymous]

“I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC’

Ok, I understand, patient and Voz. Not going there. This is the last message of the evening from me…I’m now wrapping my hands with ducktape to keep from typing. Night.

[Anonymous]

Voz, don’t forget to hide your wallet tonight while she sleeps…

Oops! Need more ducktape…

[cooperthedog]

Marion, some of your statements are contradictions.

You are simultaneously old-fashioned, wanting the man to lead/pay for dates, yet you’re independent and NEED to be financially self-reliant, but require joint-accounts when married (though you wouldn’t want to buy a house with someone again), even though you infer that your net worth is higher than your mate. You don’t like stinginess, yet you don’t pay for the dates, and don’t appear to be receiptive to the (great) idea other posters had about you taking control of the next date…

???

[CardiffBaseball]

I’d have to say if I were on the market again I’d probably be the sucker trying to impress. You should be picking up one of us piggs Marion. I make a lot of money but I am basically dead broke, and married but I have one of those just loveable faces that you just want to kiss. I do spend way too much time on the internet, sometimes I wear a pair of underwear a second day, and my mind is always in the gutter. Also I am sad to report it’s sports 24/7, I don’t like Hillary, and I hate going to anything classy (operas/shows/kpbs speaker events). However I will attend a show once or twice a year to keep you happy but only if you dress up for me. I will most definitely eat a lot of red meat and not care if it pisses off your vegan friend and her bespectacled wimpy metrosexual boyfriend. Please don’t ask me to just “eat bean sprouts tonight” or at least when we have dinner with them make it place where I can get plastered on heavy beer to supplement the noodles we are eating (Thai super hot, forcing me to down more beer). I think it’s important you know the bad things up front.

Now I am not all bad….On the plus side I don’t spend too much time hanging out in transsexual bars, I do the dishes every night, and no meth, smack or HGH and at this point ED is not an issue.

Seriously I have to say this cat screams loser to me(sorry this is the internet, it’s looser). I am being harsh he is at the very least very awkward, and not comfortable with playing the game. I can’t imagine bringing up the word pre-nup so soon when you guys haven’t come close to the “Hey I test drive a car before I buy it” phase of the relationship. Clearly he sees something in you he likes, but his lack of understanding the correct sequence in the dating protocol could mean he’ll do other awkward things. I also take his meeting place selections to mean he’s kind of boring and you’ll need to carry all of the creative weight like my wife is forced to do.

I think my wife is suddenly Leykis’ warning to all men in reverse, (they all all cut off their hair and gain weight right after getting married). After 16 years she has actually grown her hair back out longer than even before I met her, and wants to start really lifting and working out to take off a little weight. 40 is just around the corner, so I figure:
A) She’s getting ready to ditch me for a guy who can afford a house right now (I am a couple years of savings/debt reduction minimum)
B) maybe she’s prepping me for a future “cuckold” arrangement. I think it was dave that used that word.. cracked me up. (better check for Craigslist CAS history in the Browser)
C) she might just want to impress me

Honestly she’s a woman I’ll never know why, I’ll just enjoy it until the hot flashes come even if it’s not meant for me, why should I care?

Marion you have my empathy as I haven’t considered the side effects of being on the market until I went through this post. I was married so young by today’s standards (22) that I just can’t imagine being on the dating scene again. Ahh wrong words I imagine it all the time with some of the amazing looking 40ish women (Go Coogs) at work and in my social circle. Smart, stunning and 6 figure women have amazing power over a dolt like me. What I don’t relish is the idea of getting to know someone again. To meet and try and gain favor and interest in their network of friends and family —uuggg. I am sure I am to the point of being able to pass gas around my in-law’s and they got over the occasional filthy joke after a few spirits a long time ago. How do I break in new ones?

Bugs you might have the right idea about doing something nice for the wife even if I secretly long to be TemeculaGuy.

[CardiffBaseball]

I’d have to say if I were on the market again I’d probably be the sucker trying to impress. You should be picking up one of us piggs Marion. I make a lot of money but I am basically dead broke, and married but I have one of those just loveable faces that you just want to kiss. I do spend way too much time on the internet, sometimes I wear a pair of underwear a second day, and my mind is always in the gutter. Also I am sad to report it’s sports 24/7, I don’t like Hillary, and I hate going to anything classy (operas/shows/kpbs speaker events). However I will attend a show once or twice a year to keep you happy but only if you dress up for me. I will most definitely eat a lot of red meat and not care if it pisses off your vegan friend and her bespectacled wimpy metrosexual boyfriend. Please don’t ask me to just “eat bean sprouts tonight” or at least when we have dinner with them make it place where I can get plastered on heavy beer to supplement the noodles we are eating (Thai super hot, forcing me to down more beer). I think it’s important you know the bad things up front.

Now I am not all bad….On the plus side I don’t spend too much time hanging out in transsexual bars, I do the dishes every night, and no meth, smack or HGH and at this point ED is not an issue.

Seriously I have to say this cat screams loser to me(sorry this is the internet, it’s looser). I am being harsh he is at the very least very awkward, and not comfortable with playing the game. I can’t imagine bringing up the word pre-nup so soon when you guys haven’t come close to the “Hey I test drive a car before I buy it” phase of the relationship. Clearly he sees something in you he likes, but his lack of understanding the correct sequence in the dating protocol could mean he’ll do other awkward things. I also take his meeting place selections to mean he’s kind of boring and you’ll need to carry all of the creative weight like my wife is forced to do.

I think my wife is suddenly Leykis’ warning to all men in reverse, (they all all cut off their hair and gain weight right after getting married). After 16 years she has actually grown her hair back out longer than even before I met her, and wants to start really lifting and working out to take off a little weight. 40 is just around the corner, so I figure:
A) She’s getting ready to ditch me for a guy who can afford a house right now (I am a couple years of savings/debt reduction minimum)
B) maybe she’s prepping me for a future “cuckold” arrangement. I think it was dave that used that word.. cracked me up. (better check for Craigslist CAS history in the Browser)
C) she might just want to impress me

Honestly she’s a woman I’ll never know why, I’ll just enjoy it until the hot flashes come even if it’s not meant for me, why should I care?

Marion you have my empathy as I haven’t considered the side effects of being on the market until I went through this post. I was married so young by today’s standards (22) that I just can’t imagine being on the dating scene again. Ahh wrong words I imagine it all the time with some of the amazing looking 40ish women (Go Coogs) at work and in my social circle. Smart, stunning and 6 figure women have amazing power over a dolt like me. What I don’t relish is the idea of getting to know someone again. To meet and try and gain favor and interest in their network of friends and family —uuggg. I am sure I am to the point of being able to pass gas around my in-law’s and they got over the occasional filthy joke after a few spirits a long time ago. How do I break in new ones?

Bugs you might have the right idea about doing something nice for the wife even if I secretly long to be TemeculaGuy.

[CardiffBaseball]

I’d have to say if I were on the market again I’d probably be the sucker trying to impress. You should be picking up one of us piggs Marion. I make a lot of money but I am basically dead broke, and married but I have one of those just loveable faces that you just want to kiss. I do spend way too much time on the internet, sometimes I wear a pair of underwear a second day, and my mind is always in the gutter. Also I am sad to report it’s sports 24/7, I don’t like Hillary, and I hate going to anything classy (operas/shows/kpbs speaker events). However I will attend a show once or twice a year to keep you happy but only if you dress up for me. I will most definitely eat a lot of red meat and not care if it pisses off your vegan friend and her bespectacled wimpy metrosexual boyfriend. Please don’t ask me to just “eat bean sprouts tonight” or at least when we have dinner with them make it place where I can get plastered on heavy beer to supplement the noodles we are eating (Thai super hot, forcing me to down more beer). I think it’s important you know the bad things up front.

Now I am not all bad….On the plus side I don’t spend too much time hanging out in transsexual bars, I do the dishes every night, and no meth, smack or HGH and at this point ED is not an issue.

Seriously I have to say this cat screams loser to me(sorry this is the internet, it’s looser). I am being harsh he is at the very least very awkward, and not comfortable with playing the game. I can’t imagine bringing up the word pre-nup so soon when you guys haven’t come close to the “Hey I test drive a car before I buy it” phase of the relationship. Clearly he sees something in you he likes, but his lack of understanding the correct sequence in the dating protocol could mean he’ll do other awkward things. I also take his meeting place selections to mean he’s kind of boring and you’ll need to carry all of the creative weight like my wife is forced to do.

I think my wife is suddenly Leykis’ warning to all men in reverse, (they all all cut off their hair and gain weight right after getting married). After 16 years she has actually grown her hair back out longer than even before I met her, and wants to start really lifting and working out to take off a little weight. 40 is just around the corner, so I figure:
A) She’s getting ready to ditch me for a guy who can afford a house right now (I am a couple years of savings/debt reduction minimum)
B) maybe she’s prepping me for a future “cuckold” arrangement. I think it was dave that used that word.. cracked me up. (better check for Craigslist CAS history in the Browser)
C) she might just want to impress me

Honestly she’s a woman I’ll never know why, I’ll just enjoy it until the hot flashes come even if it’s not meant for me, why should I care?

Marion you have my empathy as I haven’t considered the side effects of being on the market until I went through this post. I was married so young by today’s standards (22) that I just can’t imagine being on the dating scene again. Ahh wrong words I imagine it all the time with some of the amazing looking 40ish women (Go Coogs) at work and in my social circle. Smart, stunning and 6 figure women have amazing power over a dolt like me. What I don’t relish is the idea of getting to know someone again. To meet and try and gain favor and interest in their network of friends and family —uuggg. I am sure I am to the point of being able to pass gas around my in-law’s and they got over the occasional filthy joke after a few spirits a long time ago. How do I break in new ones?

Bugs you might have the right idea about doing something nice for the wife even if I secretly long to be TemeculaGuy.

[CardiffBaseball]

I’d have to say if I were on the market again I’d probably be the sucker trying to impress. You should be picking up one of us piggs Marion. I make a lot of money but I am basically dead broke, and married but I have one of those just loveable faces that you just want to kiss. I do spend way too much time on the internet, sometimes I wear a pair of underwear a second day, and my mind is always in the gutter. Also I am sad to report it’s sports 24/7, I don’t like Hillary, and I hate going to anything classy (operas/shows/kpbs speaker events). However I will attend a show once or twice a year to keep you happy but only if you dress up for me. I will most definitely eat a lot of red meat and not care if it pisses off your vegan friend and her bespectacled wimpy metrosexual boyfriend. Please don’t ask me to just “eat bean sprouts tonight” or at least when we have dinner with them make it place where I can get plastered on heavy beer to supplement the noodles we are eating (Thai super hot, forcing me to down more beer). I think it’s important you know the bad things up front.

Now I am not all bad….On the plus side I don’t spend too much time hanging out in transsexual bars, I do the dishes every night, and no meth, smack or HGH and at this point ED is not an issue.

Seriously I have to say this cat screams loser to me(sorry this is the internet, it’s looser). I am being harsh he is at the very least very awkward, and not comfortable with playing the game. I can’t imagine bringing up the word pre-nup so soon when you guys haven’t come close to the “Hey I test drive a car before I buy it” phase of the relationship. Clearly he sees something in you he likes, but his lack of understanding the correct sequence in the dating protocol could mean he’ll do other awkward things. I also take his meeting place selections to mean he’s kind of boring and you’ll need to carry all of the creative weight like my wife is forced to do.

I think my wife is suddenly Leykis’ warning to all men in reverse, (they all all cut off their hair and gain weight right after getting married). After 16 years she has actually grown her hair back out longer than even before I met her, and wants to start really lifting and working out to take off a little weight. 40 is just around the corner, so I figure:
A) She’s getting ready to ditch me for a guy who can afford a house right now (I am a couple years of savings/debt reduction minimum)
B) maybe she’s prepping me for a future “cuckold” arrangement. I think it was dave that used that word.. cracked me up. (better check for Craigslist CAS history in the Browser)
C) she might just want to impress me

Honestly she’s a woman I’ll never know why, I’ll just enjoy it until the hot flashes come even if it’s not meant for me, why should I care?

Marion you have my empathy as I haven’t considered the side effects of being on the market until I went through this post. I was married so young by today’s standards (22) that I just can’t imagine being on the dating scene again. Ahh wrong words I imagine it all the time with some of the amazing looking 40ish women (Go Coogs) at work and in my social circle. Smart, stunning and 6 figure women have amazing power over a dolt like me. What I don’t relish is the idea of getting to know someone again. To meet and try and gain favor and interest in their network of friends and family —uuggg. I am sure I am to the point of being able to pass gas around my in-law’s and they got over the occasional filthy joke after a few spirits a long time ago. How do I break in new ones?

Bugs you might have the right idea about doing something nice for the wife even if I secretly long to be TemeculaGuy.

[CardiffBaseball]

I’d have to say if I were on the market again I’d probably be the sucker trying to impress. You should be picking up one of us piggs Marion. I make a lot of money but I am basically dead broke, and married but I have one of those just loveable faces that you just want to kiss. I do spend way too much time on the internet, sometimes I wear a pair of underwear a second day, and my mind is always in the gutter. Also I am sad to report it’s sports 24/7, I don’t like Hillary, and I hate going to anything classy (operas/shows/kpbs speaker events). However I will attend a show once or twice a year to keep you happy but only if you dress up for me. I will most definitely eat a lot of red meat and not care if it pisses off your vegan friend and her bespectacled wimpy metrosexual boyfriend. Please don’t ask me to just “eat bean sprouts tonight” or at least when we have dinner with them make it place where I can get plastered on heavy beer to supplement the noodles we are eating (Thai super hot, forcing me to down more beer). I think it’s important you know the bad things up front.

Now I am not all bad….On the plus side I don’t spend too much time hanging out in transsexual bars, I do the dishes every night, and no meth, smack or HGH and at this point ED is not an issue.

Seriously I have to say this cat screams loser to me(sorry this is the internet, it’s looser). I am being harsh he is at the very least very awkward, and not comfortable with playing the game. I can’t imagine bringing up the word pre-nup so soon when you guys haven’t come close to the “Hey I test drive a car before I buy it” phase of the relationship. Clearly he sees something in you he likes, but his lack of understanding the correct sequence in the dating protocol could mean he’ll do other awkward things. I also take his meeting place selections to mean he’s kind of boring and you’ll need to carry all of the creative weight like my wife is forced to do.

I think my wife is suddenly Leykis’ warning to all men in reverse, (they all all cut off their hair and gain weight right after getting married). After 16 years she has actually grown her hair back out longer than even before I met her, and wants to start really lifting and working out to take off a little weight. 40 is just around the corner, so I figure:
A) She’s getting ready to ditch me for a guy who can afford a house right now (I am a couple years of savings/debt reduction minimum)
B) maybe she’s prepping me for a future “cuckold” arrangement. I think it was dave that used that word.. cracked me up. (better check for Craigslist CAS history in the Browser)
C) she might just want to impress me

Honestly she’s a woman I’ll never know why, I’ll just enjoy it until the hot flashes come even if it’s not meant for me, why should I care?

Marion you have my empathy as I haven’t considered the side effects of being on the market until I went through this post. I was married so young by today’s standards (22) that I just can’t imagine being on the dating scene again. Ahh wrong words I imagine it all the time with some of the amazing looking 40ish women (Go Coogs) at work and in my social circle. Smart, stunning and 6 figure women have amazing power over a dolt like me. What I don’t relish is the idea of getting to know someone again. To meet and try and gain favor and interest in their network of friends and family —uuggg. I am sure I am to the point of being able to pass gas around my in-law’s and they got over the occasional filthy joke after a few spirits a long time ago. How do I break in new ones?

Bugs you might have the right idea about doing something nice for the wife even if I secretly long to be TemeculaGuy.

[cooperthedog]

Marion, some of your statements are contradictions.

You are simultaneously old-fashioned, wanting the man to lead/pay for dates, yet you’re independent and NEED to be financially self-reliant, but require joint-accounts when married (though you wouldn’t want to buy a house with someone again), even though you infer that your net worth is higher than your mate. You don’t like stinginess, yet you don’t pay for the dates, and don’t appear to be receiptive to the (great) idea other posters had about you taking control of the next date…

???

[cooperthedog]

Marion, some of your statements are contradictions.

You are simultaneously old-fashioned, wanting the man to lead/pay for dates, yet you’re independent and NEED to be financially self-reliant, but require joint-accounts when married (though you wouldn’t want to buy a house with someone again), even though you infer that your net worth is higher than your mate. You don’t like stinginess, yet you don’t pay for the dates, and don’t appear to be receiptive to the (great) idea other posters had about you taking control of the next date…

???

[cooperthedog]

Marion, some of your statements are contradictions.

You are simultaneously old-fashioned, wanting the man to lead/pay for dates, yet you’re independent and NEED to be financially self-reliant, but require joint-accounts when married (though you wouldn’t want to buy a house with someone again), even though you infer that your net worth is higher than your mate. You don’t like stinginess, yet you don’t pay for the dates, and don’t appear to be receiptive to the (great) idea other posters had about you taking control of the next date…

???

[cooperthedog]

Marion, some of your statements are contradictions.

You are simultaneously old-fashioned, wanting the man to lead/pay for dates, yet you’re independent and NEED to be financially self-reliant, but require joint-accounts when married (though you wouldn’t want to buy a house with someone again), even though you infer that your net worth is higher than your mate. You don’t like stinginess, yet you don’t pay for the dates, and don’t appear to be receiptive to the (great) idea other posters had about you taking control of the next date…

???

[Anonymous]

Voz, don’t forget to hide your wallet tonight while she sleeps…

Oops! Need more ducktape…

[Anonymous]

Voz, don’t forget to hide your wallet tonight while she sleeps…

Oops! Need more ducktape…

[Anonymous]

Voz, don’t forget to hide your wallet tonight while she sleeps…

Oops! Need more ducktape…

[Anonymous]

Voz, don’t forget to hide your wallet tonight while she sleeps…

Oops! Need more ducktape…

[Anonymous]

“I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC’

Ok, I understand, patient and Voz. Not going there. This is the last message of the evening from me…I’m now wrapping my hands with ducktape to keep from typing. Night.

[Anonymous]

“I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC’

Ok, I understand, patient and Voz. Not going there. This is the last message of the evening from me…I’m now wrapping my hands with ducktape to keep from typing. Night.

[Anonymous]

“I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC’

Ok, I understand, patient and Voz. Not going there. This is the last message of the evening from me…I’m now wrapping my hands with ducktape to keep from typing. Night.

[Anonymous]

“I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC’

Ok, I understand, patient and Voz. Not going there. This is the last message of the evening from me…I’m now wrapping my hands with ducktape to keep from typing. Night.

[patientrenter]

I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

I’ve had a similar experience, VoZangre. She had horrible credit, liens from the IRS, the works. I wanted to take care of her nevertheless, and I did for a long time. I just couldn’t allow my own financial future to depend on her financial judgment. Selfish? Perhaps, but how can she turn to you for security if you allow her to destroy that security, inadvertently or otherwise?

Patient renter in OC

[VoZangre]

Uy!

Cantankerous, eh?

Would I PREFER joint accounts and such? Yes.

Is it wise considering she’s so much in the red? No.

It’s not a point I am proud of. It simply is a fact.

I am not exposing her financially. I won’t allow myself to be exposed either. It is not my fault nor responsibility that she was fiscally unwise or naive.

The situation as it is makes me a little sad, truth be told.

[VoZangre]

Uy!

Cantankerous, eh?

Would I PREFER joint accounts and such? Yes.

Is it wise considering she’s so much in the red? No.

It’s not a point I am proud of. It simply is a fact.

I am not exposing her financially. I won’t allow myself to be exposed either. It is not my fault nor responsibility that she was fiscally unwise or naive.

The situation as it is makes me a little sad, truth be told.

[VoZangre]

Uy!

Cantankerous, eh?

Would I PREFER joint accounts and such? Yes.

Is it wise considering she’s so much in the red? No.

It’s not a point I am proud of. It simply is a fact.

I am not exposing her financially. I won’t allow myself to be exposed either. It is not my fault nor responsibility that she was fiscally unwise or naive.

The situation as it is makes me a little sad, truth be told.

[VoZangre]

Uy!

Cantankerous, eh?

Would I PREFER joint accounts and such? Yes.

Is it wise considering she’s so much in the red? No.

It’s not a point I am proud of. It simply is a fact.

I am not exposing her financially. I won’t allow myself to be exposed either. It is not my fault nor responsibility that she was fiscally unwise or naive.

The situation as it is makes me a little sad, truth be told.

[drunkle]

this thread has me alternately disgusted, amused, horrified and jaded.

if the mention of a pre nup @ 4 dates hasn’t turned you off, if your suggestion of a nice date hasn’t turned him off, what’s the problem? keep marching, soldier, the war aint won yet.

[SD Realtor]

Damn the posts get good late at night.

Voz you have me in stitches man… congratulations.

SD Realtor

[SD Realtor]

Damn the posts get good late at night.

Voz you have me in stitches man… congratulations.

SD Realtor

[SD Realtor]

Damn the posts get good late at night.

Voz you have me in stitches man… congratulations.

SD Realtor

[SD Realtor]

Damn the posts get good late at night.

Voz you have me in stitches man… congratulations.

SD Realtor

[SD Realtor]

Damn the posts get good late at night.

Voz you have me in stitches man… congratulations.

SD Realtor

[drunkle]

this thread has me alternately disgusted, amused, horrified and jaded.

if the mention of a pre nup @ 4 dates hasn’t turned you off, if your suggestion of a nice date hasn’t turned him off, what’s the problem? keep marching, soldier, the war aint won yet.

[drunkle]

this thread has me alternately disgusted, amused, horrified and jaded.

if the mention of a pre nup @ 4 dates hasn’t turned you off, if your suggestion of a nice date hasn’t turned him off, what’s the problem? keep marching, soldier, the war aint won yet.

[drunkle]

this thread has me alternately disgusted, amused, horrified and jaded.

if the mention of a pre nup @ 4 dates hasn’t turned you off, if your suggestion of a nice date hasn’t turned him off, what’s the problem? keep marching, soldier, the war aint won yet.

[drunkle]

this thread has me alternately disgusted, amused, horrified and jaded.

if the mention of a pre nup @ 4 dates hasn’t turned you off, if your suggestion of a nice date hasn’t turned him off, what’s the problem? keep marching, soldier, the war aint won yet.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion…”

Patientrenter, I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I went off on you like that. Please accept my apology.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion…”

Patientrenter, I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I went off on you like that. Please accept my apology.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion…”

Patientrenter, I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I went off on you like that. Please accept my apology.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion…”

Patientrenter, I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I went off on you like that. Please accept my apology.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion…”

Patientrenter, I owe you an apology. I have no idea why I went off on you like that. Please accept my apology.

[patientrenter]

My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion. My only point is that if I exercised the same financial prudence in considering marriage as most Piggingtons do buying a home, then I’d need to double my assets first, unless someone’s discovered a truly sure way to keep separate assets separate.

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion. My only point is that if I exercised the same financial prudence in considering marriage as most Piggingtons do buying a home, then I’d need to double my assets first, unless someone’s discovered a truly sure way to keep separate assets separate.

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion. My only point is that if I exercised the same financial prudence in considering marriage as most Piggingtons do buying a home, then I’d need to double my assets first, unless someone’s discovered a truly sure way to keep separate assets separate.

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

My last reference to you was tongue-in-cheek, Marion. My only point is that if I exercised the same financial prudence in considering marriage as most Piggingtons do buying a home, then I’d need to double my assets first, unless someone’s discovered a truly sure way to keep separate assets separate.

Patient renter in OC

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC”

Patientrenter, would you like me to tell you where you can shove said assets?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC”

Patientrenter, would you like me to tell you where you can shove said assets?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC”

Patientrenter, would you like me to tell you where you can shove said assets?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC”

Patientrenter, would you like me to tell you where you can shove said assets?

[VoZangre]

Marion…

pardon me, Miss.

Truly.

These questions are niggling ones produced by the modernization of interactions among beings that are emotionally wired far more crudely than not ( we are cavemen and women in many many respects)…

and I forgot to add that the guy bringing up the pre-nup on date #4 is entirely lame and violates vehemently my wacky sense of gentlemanliness…

me? 40 y/o getting married on Dec 15… yes, this Saturday next!

She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts. I simply won’t foot THAT bill… and we’ll have to juggle our stuff as best we can… I ain’t stingy but her sense of inflow and outflow seems imbalanced… something we’ll have to fine tune.

Dating is frustrating and maddening in all sorts of ways…

as for ” guy goes first”… I was doing a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” behind the garage with my down-the-street playmate when I was, I dunno, maybe 4 or 5… she went first and as I reached to pull my shorts down her mom interrupted… I felt so GUILTY!!!

am not sure I have recovered.

[Anonymous]

VoZangre: “She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts.”

VoZangre, if there were no joint accounts, you wouldn’t be marrying me.

[Anonymous]

VoZangre: “She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts.”

VoZangre, if there were no joint accounts, you wouldn’t be marrying me.

[Anonymous]

VoZangre: “She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts.”

VoZangre, if there were no joint accounts, you wouldn’t be marrying me.

[Anonymous]

VoZangre: “She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts.”

VoZangre, if there were no joint accounts, you wouldn’t be marrying me.

[Anonymous]

VoZangre: “She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts.”

VoZangre, if there were no joint accounts, you wouldn’t be marrying me.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

pardon me, Miss.

Truly.

These questions are niggling ones produced by the modernization of interactions among beings that are emotionally wired far more crudely than not ( we are cavemen and women in many many respects)…

and I forgot to add that the guy bringing up the pre-nup on date #4 is entirely lame and violates vehemently my wacky sense of gentlemanliness…

me? 40 y/o getting married on Dec 15… yes, this Saturday next!

She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts. I simply won’t foot THAT bill… and we’ll have to juggle our stuff as best we can… I ain’t stingy but her sense of inflow and outflow seems imbalanced… something we’ll have to fine tune.

Dating is frustrating and maddening in all sorts of ways…

as for ” guy goes first”… I was doing a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” behind the garage with my down-the-street playmate when I was, I dunno, maybe 4 or 5… she went first and as I reached to pull my shorts down her mom interrupted… I felt so GUILTY!!!

am not sure I have recovered.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

pardon me, Miss.

Truly.

These questions are niggling ones produced by the modernization of interactions among beings that are emotionally wired far more crudely than not ( we are cavemen and women in many many respects)…

and I forgot to add that the guy bringing up the pre-nup on date #4 is entirely lame and violates vehemently my wacky sense of gentlemanliness…

me? 40 y/o getting married on Dec 15… yes, this Saturday next!

She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts. I simply won’t foot THAT bill… and we’ll have to juggle our stuff as best we can… I ain’t stingy but her sense of inflow and outflow seems imbalanced… something we’ll have to fine tune.

Dating is frustrating and maddening in all sorts of ways…

as for ” guy goes first”… I was doing a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” behind the garage with my down-the-street playmate when I was, I dunno, maybe 4 or 5… she went first and as I reached to pull my shorts down her mom interrupted… I felt so GUILTY!!!

am not sure I have recovered.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

pardon me, Miss.

Truly.

These questions are niggling ones produced by the modernization of interactions among beings that are emotionally wired far more crudely than not ( we are cavemen and women in many many respects)…

and I forgot to add that the guy bringing up the pre-nup on date #4 is entirely lame and violates vehemently my wacky sense of gentlemanliness…

me? 40 y/o getting married on Dec 15… yes, this Saturday next!

She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts. I simply won’t foot THAT bill… and we’ll have to juggle our stuff as best we can… I ain’t stingy but her sense of inflow and outflow seems imbalanced… something we’ll have to fine tune.

Dating is frustrating and maddening in all sorts of ways…

as for ” guy goes first”… I was doing a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” behind the garage with my down-the-street playmate when I was, I dunno, maybe 4 or 5… she went first and as I reached to pull my shorts down her mom interrupted… I felt so GUILTY!!!

am not sure I have recovered.

[VoZangre]

Marion…

pardon me, Miss.

Truly.

These questions are niggling ones produced by the modernization of interactions among beings that are emotionally wired far more crudely than not ( we are cavemen and women in many many respects)…

and I forgot to add that the guy bringing up the pre-nup on date #4 is entirely lame and violates vehemently my wacky sense of gentlemanliness…

me? 40 y/o getting married on Dec 15… yes, this Saturday next!

She’s got a nice load of student loan that i dont have… she mentioned ” Don’t worry, it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it. ” Which means… no joint accounts. I simply won’t foot THAT bill… and we’ll have to juggle our stuff as best we can… I ain’t stingy but her sense of inflow and outflow seems imbalanced… something we’ll have to fine tune.

Dating is frustrating and maddening in all sorts of ways…

as for ” guy goes first”… I was doing a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” behind the garage with my down-the-street playmate when I was, I dunno, maybe 4 or 5… she went first and as I reached to pull my shorts down her mom interrupted… I felt so GUILTY!!!

am not sure I have recovered.

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!”

Patientrenter, let me ask you: What makes you think you’re worth more than I am?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!”

Patientrenter, let me ask you: What makes you think you’re worth more than I am?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!”

Patientrenter, let me ask you: What makes you think you’re worth more than I am?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!”

Patientrenter, let me ask you: What makes you think you’re worth more than I am?

[Anonymous]

patientrenter: “I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!”

Patientrenter, let me ask you: What makes you think you’re worth more than I am?

[patientrenter]

“legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property”. What happens if those previous assets require some upkeep after the marriage, like a house would? It seems that might taint the separate property quality of the previous assets.

I’m not an attorney. I wonder if the only way to really be sure that prior assets don’t become community property is to put them in a fully self-sustaining trust, with other assets that generate enough income to pay any upkeep expenses.

And I’ve heard relying on a pre-nup is like tossing a coin… Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. You’ll never know it doesn’t work until you need it.

I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

“legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property”. What happens if those previous assets require some upkeep after the marriage, like a house would? It seems that might taint the separate property quality of the previous assets.

I’m not an attorney. I wonder if the only way to really be sure that prior assets don’t become community property is to put them in a fully self-sustaining trust, with other assets that generate enough income to pay any upkeep expenses.

And I’ve heard relying on a pre-nup is like tossing a coin… Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. You’ll never know it doesn’t work until you need it.

I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

“legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property”. What happens if those previous assets require some upkeep after the marriage, like a house would? It seems that might taint the separate property quality of the previous assets.

I’m not an attorney. I wonder if the only way to really be sure that prior assets don’t become community property is to put them in a fully self-sustaining trust, with other assets that generate enough income to pay any upkeep expenses.

And I’ve heard relying on a pre-nup is like tossing a coin… Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. You’ll never know it doesn’t work until you need it.

I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC

[patientrenter]

“legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property”. What happens if those previous assets require some upkeep after the marriage, like a house would? It seems that might taint the separate property quality of the previous assets.

I’m not an attorney. I wonder if the only way to really be sure that prior assets don’t become community property is to put them in a fully self-sustaining trust, with other assets that generate enough income to pay any upkeep expenses.

And I’ve heard relying on a pre-nup is like tossing a coin… Maybe it’ll work, maybe not. You’ll never know it doesn’t work until you need it.

I can’t afford to live on half of what I’ve accumulated, and I don’t see how it’s OK to just hope that doesn’t happen, so I am… still single. When I get to double my current assets, I’ll give you a call, Marion, unless there’s a kindly attorney out there who can show now there’s a cast-iron way to preserve separate pre-marriage assets!

Patient renter in OC

[Anonymous]

If you have gone on four dates and still no sex, then your friend is clearly not a student of Leykis 101.

Regarding the pre-nup, the guy mentioning it after four dates is weird, pointless, bizarre, don’t know what else to say.

In general I am in favor of pre-nups but in reality they may not always be necessary unless you are very wealthy or have complex financial situations. California is a communinity property state and legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property. However, one sticky point for my is if you have significant wealth (from before marriage) earning significant capital gains during marriage. These gains could potentially be considered community property if you are actively managing these investments. This is one situation that I can think of where a pre-nup may be advisable.

[Anonymous]

If you have gone on four dates and still no sex, then your friend is clearly not a student of Leykis 101.

Regarding the pre-nup, the guy mentioning it after four dates is weird, pointless, bizarre, don’t know what else to say.

In general I am in favor of pre-nups but in reality they may not always be necessary unless you are very wealthy or have complex financial situations. California is a communinity property state and legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property. However, one sticky point for my is if you have significant wealth (from before marriage) earning significant capital gains during marriage. These gains could potentially be considered community property if you are actively managing these investments. This is one situation that I can think of where a pre-nup may be advisable.

[Anonymous]

If you have gone on four dates and still no sex, then your friend is clearly not a student of Leykis 101.

Regarding the pre-nup, the guy mentioning it after four dates is weird, pointless, bizarre, don’t know what else to say.

In general I am in favor of pre-nups but in reality they may not always be necessary unless you are very wealthy or have complex financial situations. California is a communinity property state and legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property. However, one sticky point for my is if you have significant wealth (from before marriage) earning significant capital gains during marriage. These gains could potentially be considered community property if you are actively managing these investments. This is one situation that I can think of where a pre-nup may be advisable.

[Anonymous]

If you have gone on four dates and still no sex, then your friend is clearly not a student of Leykis 101.

Regarding the pre-nup, the guy mentioning it after four dates is weird, pointless, bizarre, don’t know what else to say.

In general I am in favor of pre-nups but in reality they may not always be necessary unless you are very wealthy or have complex financial situations. California is a communinity property state and legally all assets accumulated prior to marriage are not community property. However, one sticky point for my is if you have significant wealth (from before marriage) earning significant capital gains during marriage. These gains could potentially be considered community property if you are actively managing these investments. This is one situation that I can think of where a pre-nup may be advisable.

[Anonymous]

Since most of the comments have been men, I’ll chime in with my two cents as a woman.

I think you have two separate issues: one – while you seem to enjoy his company, you haven’t been “impressed” by his choices of where and how to spend time with you. This could be as simple as a difference in styles. If this is important to you then I would suggest that you take the reins and plan the next date and pay for it. It will solidfy your claims that you are an independent woman and capable of paying for yourself and making your own decisions. Whatever his reaction to the choice of the date and your outlay of cash will tell you a lot about him, more than i think you are currently finding out wondering out loud on this board.

The other issue seems to be his seemingly abrupt, almost non-sequitur mentioning of a pre-nup. At some point you may want to discuss it with him, should you feel like the direction of relationship warrants it. After 4 dates, it is more likely a way to tell you has “money” And whether that is actually true or a sham only time will tell. I personally would ignore it….its a red herring right now.
In my experience the earlier a pre-nup is mentioned the less money there is.
You seem to be a very smart, capable and independent woman, time to take charge if you want to test the waters and see what he’s made of…
If you have lived at all you have suffered the damage of relational collisions – what you do with it defines your future. If I remember your story a little, then you are likely to be a little sensitive to a “stingy” guy and while he may be “stingy”, he could just be clueless.

[Anonymous]

Since most of the comments have been men, I&