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[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.[/quote]

One thing we both laugh about is how terrible we each are. That’s funny. We were laughing about it just yesterday. I did all this good stuff and she was happy then I did and said all kinds of stupid stuff and she was pouty, I was terrible and she was terrible and it was funny as hell. If both people do this it maintains the 15% satisfaction rule. There is no other way.[/quote]

A decent marriage spends 10 % of the year in the icu, 25 perc. In a locked psych facility, 35 percent on Hawaiian vacation and 30 percent in full on combat. Sex may occur anytime except not permitted in the ICU

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Preexisting debt, STDS, freakish relatives all potentially ok…depends on time place and manner of disclosure.

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If your wife likes you 15 percent of the year that is awesome! That would be over 50 solid days. I can live with that.

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if a tree tells a joke ina forest, and there are no other trees around to hear it, is the tree funny? depends on the treee, i think. oaks are never funny. eucalyptus, hilarious.

she hates to encourage my goofiness, which is probably at unhealthy levels already.

dinnertime always irritated her. me and the kids were yukking it up nonstop for 18 years. a lot of silly laughing. she felt it was too much. i see her point. she wanted some regular conversation. sometimes we had that. but it was like 15%. maybe if shed spent more time with my dad she could have seen the warning signs that there was going to be a lot of witty repartee…i mean, a lot…toxic levels…

in a way, i’m like a schizophrenic, i communicate in strange ways, but there is menaing underneath the word salad if you have the energy to toss it and you dont take things too literally…

maybe if she’d spent more time with my dad she could have seen what a cautious, conservative financial fellow i would be…

but she gets tired of salad soemtimes….always beware of and inspet the parents…avoid the excessively witty.

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I’ll accept half if that cold unfeeling bastard in the sky will just say he’s sorry, for once…

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[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .

But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).

So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line![/quote]

In real life family qualities work in cycles, that’s pretty much all of us, There is no
continous path of perfection. I am better than my dad, at least as a husband , father , community member, my kids will be better than me but that won’t last forever and a downhill slide is inevitable. Along the way some qualities go up and some go down too. Can’t have it all. Different lives.

As far as my problems go It’s all my fault though, I know that. Might as well be because having it be someone else;s fault is hopeless. So with that, I would say this is all Kev’s fault.[/quote]

personally, I blame G-d but that’s probably even less useful than blaming others.

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[quote=Blogstar][quote=scaredyclassic]That was what my parents could not see. They saw someone of different ethnicity, much different background, economically, religiously. What they didn’t know, is that like my mom, she was and is absolutely 100 percent honest and hardworking.

Sometime advice givers are flat out wrong.[/quote]

That’s what I am saying, in day your different ethnicities made you oddballs and you are probably much better off in marriage than the average. People who do all the proper guidelines in a compulsory way…that’s a problem too.[/quote]

yes. If I had married the Jewish woman who my parents would have approved of, I would probably have had to kill myself by now.

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on the one hand, I, the Lord your G-d, am a jealous G-d, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me,” Exodus 20:5 .

But on the other hand, “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20).

So basically, it’s a crapshoot whether her parents’ sinfulness will transmit to her, but the more conservative route is to heed the warning in Exodus and proceed cautiously. her mother’s evilness could transmit generations down the line!

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i think maybe the spirit walk at http://www.peyoteway.org would clear up some of the crap in your head.

or drive you completely nuts.

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[quote=Blogstar]Ex-girlfriend? I guess that makes the real question; How much baggage does Kev have to work through before he can be in a healthy relationship, and especially not attract and spend several years with women who are beneath him?[/quote]

As your pretend Internet dad I’d probably say work on kev first. I’d front the $ for appropriate therapy. Maybe some kind of encounter group? I feel this situation is partly your fault. Even if it isn’t it’s the right way to look at it.

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That was what my parents could not see. They saw someone of different ethnicity, much different background, economically, religiously. What they didn’t know, is that like my mom, she was and is absolutely 100 percent honest and hardworking.

Sometime advice givers are flat out wrong.

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[quote=svelte]90K in debt would give me pause – I would probably have to analyze whether it was an anomaly or a pattern likely to reoccur.

However, the deceit would be the dealbreaker. If I felt she was not telling the truth and would not admit she wasn’t telling the truth, I’d run for the hills. If she wasn’t telling the truth and then admitted to it, I’d put her on probation and probably watch her very closely for a couple of years. If it ever happened again, I’d be out of there.

Sometimes integrity has to trump your heart.[/quote].

I strongly disagree. Integrity Always trumps the heart.

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I wouldn’t say it’s am absolute cause to reject. But isn’t common wisdom to check out her mother and see what she looks like, how she acts, and treats the father? If you cant stand her mom, beware. They often turn into her. Like i am turning into my dad, not a carbon copy,; but in certain ways. Other issues also impact. It’s not an auto disqualifier but it’s an important data point.
Data points like that probably account for the success of many arranged marriages.

I don’t like this girls attitude. Sounds scammy.

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On the other hand my parents hated my wife at first and thought I was making a tragic mistake on every level. They were completely wrong but I almost broke up cause of it. So listen but have courage of your convictions.

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On these facts, I demand humbleness, accommodation, caring, trepidation and most important no ultimatums from this absurd female. Let her go suck money out of some fool. She will be married and pregnant within 18 months with a fools child. I dislike her strongly. If I were your dad I’d sit you down for a long talk.

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