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Navydoc
ParticipantI don’t disagree with your points, I think I was responding to your comment that men are really only needed for the sperm. The data is overwhelming on the multiple parent households, and interestingly enough, outcomes typically are better even if one parent is “dysfunctional”, i.e alcoholic,etc.
The following article in Pediatrics summarizes the family situation nicely:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/111/6/S1/1541Also interesting for all you single childless men out there:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VBF-4BY3N4T-3&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=00c7e88a4665b6c9c5f91bbcb1d04637Hope those links work. This is in response to Piggingtons “all other bring data” mantra.
So you see, marriage does in fact matter, but, as you say, it is certainly possible to raise a child singly if you have the resources, it is just more difficult. The concept of a single professional woman having a child independently is much less common than you might think.
By the way, slightly OT, want to hear something gross? Research has shown that the top 10% most sexually active males have sex with 50-60% of the females in a given population. This is true for all mammal species, including humans. No wonder I’m treating so many STD’s.
My post was intended to point out the importance of the family. You’re right, love is important, but so is the message to teach our children that it is important to make things work. For much of my early life my father was an opiate abuser and an alcoholic, and those years caused my mother a great deal of pain and hardship. But suddenly in 1977, when I was 12, he got his collective shit together and cleaned himself up. If my mother had caved during the addict years I and my 4 siblings would have done much more poorly than we have. I’m sure I wouldn’t have summoned the energy to put myself through school the way I did. Quite simply, my parents taught me perserverence, a lesson all too frequently ignored in todays society.
Navydoc
ParticipantI don’t disagree with your points, I think I was responding to your comment that men are really only needed for the sperm. The data is overwhelming on the multiple parent households, and interestingly enough, outcomes typically are better even if one parent is “dysfunctional”, i.e alcoholic,etc.
The following article in Pediatrics summarizes the family situation nicely:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/111/6/S1/1541Also interesting for all you single childless men out there:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VBF-4BY3N4T-3&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=00c7e88a4665b6c9c5f91bbcb1d04637Hope those links work. This is in response to Piggingtons “all other bring data” mantra.
So you see, marriage does in fact matter, but, as you say, it is certainly possible to raise a child singly if you have the resources, it is just more difficult. The concept of a single professional woman having a child independently is much less common than you might think.
By the way, slightly OT, want to hear something gross? Research has shown that the top 10% most sexually active males have sex with 50-60% of the females in a given population. This is true for all mammal species, including humans. No wonder I’m treating so many STD’s.
My post was intended to point out the importance of the family. You’re right, love is important, but so is the message to teach our children that it is important to make things work. For much of my early life my father was an opiate abuser and an alcoholic, and those years caused my mother a great deal of pain and hardship. But suddenly in 1977, when I was 12, he got his collective shit together and cleaned himself up. If my mother had caved during the addict years I and my 4 siblings would have done much more poorly than we have. I’m sure I wouldn’t have summoned the energy to put myself through school the way I did. Quite simply, my parents taught me perserverence, a lesson all too frequently ignored in todays society.
Navydoc
ParticipantI don’t disagree with your points, I think I was responding to your comment that men are really only needed for the sperm. The data is overwhelming on the multiple parent households, and interestingly enough, outcomes typically are better even if one parent is “dysfunctional”, i.e alcoholic,etc.
The following article in Pediatrics summarizes the family situation nicely:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/111/6/S1/1541Also interesting for all you single childless men out there:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VBF-4BY3N4T-3&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=00c7e88a4665b6c9c5f91bbcb1d04637Hope those links work. This is in response to Piggingtons “all other bring data” mantra.
So you see, marriage does in fact matter, but, as you say, it is certainly possible to raise a child singly if you have the resources, it is just more difficult. The concept of a single professional woman having a child independently is much less common than you might think.
By the way, slightly OT, want to hear something gross? Research has shown that the top 10% most sexually active males have sex with 50-60% of the females in a given population. This is true for all mammal species, including humans. No wonder I’m treating so many STD’s.
My post was intended to point out the importance of the family. You’re right, love is important, but so is the message to teach our children that it is important to make things work. For much of my early life my father was an opiate abuser and an alcoholic, and those years caused my mother a great deal of pain and hardship. But suddenly in 1977, when I was 12, he got his collective shit together and cleaned himself up. If my mother had caved during the addict years I and my 4 siblings would have done much more poorly than we have. I’m sure I wouldn’t have summoned the energy to put myself through school the way I did. Quite simply, my parents taught me perserverence, a lesson all too frequently ignored in todays society.
Navydoc
ParticipantWow jp, you have a really cynical view of the traditional family. Kind of a shame really, but to each his/her own. FWIW, you may have mixed feelings about the 2 parent thing, but the data does not. It is very clear from the child psychiatry literature that children do best when raised in a caring 2 parent household (notice, I don’t distinguish gender, children can be raised quite successfully in a 2 parent same-sex environment). From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent. Typically it’s a single mother who exposes the children to multiple boyfriends. That is not to say that a single parent cannot raise a healthy child, it just makes it much more difficult to do. Anyone who has come from a broken home, especially if the home dissolved when the child is very young, has a much greater chance of having an unsuccessful marriage themselves, and unfortunately there is little they can do about it. It’s as if the lesson is learned very early that the best course of action when a marriage is in trouble is to give up.
Why does this stuff matter? I personally believe the majority of societal ills can be traced to the erosion of the American family. You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family. Back in th 90’s the term “Family Values” became an anti-Republican buzzword, and I think that’s very unfortunate.
So jp, I must respectfully disagree, men are far more important than their sperm. I do agree that some men are made to be married and others aren’t, and I feel a little sorry for those in the latter group, as I am definitely in the former. My recent experience with parenthood is teaching me that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, stress and all. And sorry Marion, I don’t know a good divorce lawyer,I hope to never need one.
Navydoc
ParticipantWow jp, you have a really cynical view of the traditional family. Kind of a shame really, but to each his/her own. FWIW, you may have mixed feelings about the 2 parent thing, but the data does not. It is very clear from the child psychiatry literature that children do best when raised in a caring 2 parent household (notice, I don’t distinguish gender, children can be raised quite successfully in a 2 parent same-sex environment). From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent. Typically it’s a single mother who exposes the children to multiple boyfriends. That is not to say that a single parent cannot raise a healthy child, it just makes it much more difficult to do. Anyone who has come from a broken home, especially if the home dissolved when the child is very young, has a much greater chance of having an unsuccessful marriage themselves, and unfortunately there is little they can do about it. It’s as if the lesson is learned very early that the best course of action when a marriage is in trouble is to give up.
Why does this stuff matter? I personally believe the majority of societal ills can be traced to the erosion of the American family. You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family. Back in th 90’s the term “Family Values” became an anti-Republican buzzword, and I think that’s very unfortunate.
So jp, I must respectfully disagree, men are far more important than their sperm. I do agree that some men are made to be married and others aren’t, and I feel a little sorry for those in the latter group, as I am definitely in the former. My recent experience with parenthood is teaching me that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, stress and all. And sorry Marion, I don’t know a good divorce lawyer,I hope to never need one.
Navydoc
ParticipantWow jp, you have a really cynical view of the traditional family. Kind of a shame really, but to each his/her own. FWIW, you may have mixed feelings about the 2 parent thing, but the data does not. It is very clear from the child psychiatry literature that children do best when raised in a caring 2 parent household (notice, I don’t distinguish gender, children can be raised quite successfully in a 2 parent same-sex environment). From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent. Typically it’s a single mother who exposes the children to multiple boyfriends. That is not to say that a single parent cannot raise a healthy child, it just makes it much more difficult to do. Anyone who has come from a broken home, especially if the home dissolved when the child is very young, has a much greater chance of having an unsuccessful marriage themselves, and unfortunately there is little they can do about it. It’s as if the lesson is learned very early that the best course of action when a marriage is in trouble is to give up.
Why does this stuff matter? I personally believe the majority of societal ills can be traced to the erosion of the American family. You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family. Back in th 90’s the term “Family Values” became an anti-Republican buzzword, and I think that’s very unfortunate.
So jp, I must respectfully disagree, men are far more important than their sperm. I do agree that some men are made to be married and others aren’t, and I feel a little sorry for those in the latter group, as I am definitely in the former. My recent experience with parenthood is teaching me that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, stress and all. And sorry Marion, I don’t know a good divorce lawyer,I hope to never need one.
Navydoc
ParticipantWow jp, you have a really cynical view of the traditional family. Kind of a shame really, but to each his/her own. FWIW, you may have mixed feelings about the 2 parent thing, but the data does not. It is very clear from the child psychiatry literature that children do best when raised in a caring 2 parent household (notice, I don’t distinguish gender, children can be raised quite successfully in a 2 parent same-sex environment). From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent. Typically it’s a single mother who exposes the children to multiple boyfriends. That is not to say that a single parent cannot raise a healthy child, it just makes it much more difficult to do. Anyone who has come from a broken home, especially if the home dissolved when the child is very young, has a much greater chance of having an unsuccessful marriage themselves, and unfortunately there is little they can do about it. It’s as if the lesson is learned very early that the best course of action when a marriage is in trouble is to give up.
Why does this stuff matter? I personally believe the majority of societal ills can be traced to the erosion of the American family. You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family. Back in th 90’s the term “Family Values” became an anti-Republican buzzword, and I think that’s very unfortunate.
So jp, I must respectfully disagree, men are far more important than their sperm. I do agree that some men are made to be married and others aren’t, and I feel a little sorry for those in the latter group, as I am definitely in the former. My recent experience with parenthood is teaching me that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, stress and all. And sorry Marion, I don’t know a good divorce lawyer,I hope to never need one.
Navydoc
ParticipantWow jp, you have a really cynical view of the traditional family. Kind of a shame really, but to each his/her own. FWIW, you may have mixed feelings about the 2 parent thing, but the data does not. It is very clear from the child psychiatry literature that children do best when raised in a caring 2 parent household (notice, I don’t distinguish gender, children can be raised quite successfully in a 2 parent same-sex environment). From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent. Typically it’s a single mother who exposes the children to multiple boyfriends. That is not to say that a single parent cannot raise a healthy child, it just makes it much more difficult to do. Anyone who has come from a broken home, especially if the home dissolved when the child is very young, has a much greater chance of having an unsuccessful marriage themselves, and unfortunately there is little they can do about it. It’s as if the lesson is learned very early that the best course of action when a marriage is in trouble is to give up.
Why does this stuff matter? I personally believe the majority of societal ills can be traced to the erosion of the American family. You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family. Back in th 90’s the term “Family Values” became an anti-Republican buzzword, and I think that’s very unfortunate.
So jp, I must respectfully disagree, men are far more important than their sperm. I do agree that some men are made to be married and others aren’t, and I feel a little sorry for those in the latter group, as I am definitely in the former. My recent experience with parenthood is teaching me that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, stress and all. And sorry Marion, I don’t know a good divorce lawyer,I hope to never need one.
Navydoc
ParticipantI understand how multiple families contribute to paying the mortgage on a McMansion, but doesn’t a SFR have to be initially purchased by ONE family who must qualify for the home all by themselves? It’s easy to see in the days of liar loans how this happened, but now that lending standards have tightened I presume the multiple family scenario is a little more difficult to pull off. Any in the lending industry want to weigh in on this?
Navydoc
ParticipantI understand how multiple families contribute to paying the mortgage on a McMansion, but doesn’t a SFR have to be initially purchased by ONE family who must qualify for the home all by themselves? It’s easy to see in the days of liar loans how this happened, but now that lending standards have tightened I presume the multiple family scenario is a little more difficult to pull off. Any in the lending industry want to weigh in on this?
Navydoc
ParticipantI understand how multiple families contribute to paying the mortgage on a McMansion, but doesn’t a SFR have to be initially purchased by ONE family who must qualify for the home all by themselves? It’s easy to see in the days of liar loans how this happened, but now that lending standards have tightened I presume the multiple family scenario is a little more difficult to pull off. Any in the lending industry want to weigh in on this?
Navydoc
ParticipantI understand how multiple families contribute to paying the mortgage on a McMansion, but doesn’t a SFR have to be initially purchased by ONE family who must qualify for the home all by themselves? It’s easy to see in the days of liar loans how this happened, but now that lending standards have tightened I presume the multiple family scenario is a little more difficult to pull off. Any in the lending industry want to weigh in on this?
Navydoc
ParticipantI understand how multiple families contribute to paying the mortgage on a McMansion, but doesn’t a SFR have to be initially purchased by ONE family who must qualify for the home all by themselves? It’s easy to see in the days of liar loans how this happened, but now that lending standards have tightened I presume the multiple family scenario is a little more difficult to pull off. Any in the lending industry want to weigh in on this?
Navydoc
ParticipantAlways liked the Z3 more than the Z4. Was planning on buying a Z3 verion of the M roadster, but found a really nice ’96 911 cab instead. not sorry for the choice either, will probably keep this car forever. Noticing the 993 values starting to creep up a bit, turns out it was a good financial decision too, but, like I said, I’ll probably never get rid of it.
By the way, ever drive a Miata? I had one as a resident in San Diego, and questions to my sexuality notwithstanding, it was the best driving car for the money I’ve ever driven. Can’t hold a candle to the Porsche, but the entry cost aint quite so steep.
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