Parents kicking their children out of the home

[patb]

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews

i can relate, i’m not 23, but, my parents divorced, Dad had a new wife
who hated me, so I would never be able to stay with him.

Mom’s not so bad, but she cares for my mentally ill sister and insists
nobody ever say “What’s the matter with Sis”, so, the ground rules require
sharing a house with someone who is a functional Aspergers/schizophrenic.

I decided a while back that a bridge abutment beat life in the nuthouse.

[scaredyclassic]

Home should be the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in

paraphrase of famous quote

[scaredyclassic]

Home should be the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in

paraphrase of famous quote

[scaredyclassic]

Home should be the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in

paraphrase of famous quote

[scaredyclassic]

Home should be the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in

paraphrase of famous quote

[scaredyclassic]

Home should be the place where when you have to go there they have to take you in

paraphrase of famous quote

[bearishgurl]

[quote=patb]
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews/
…[/quote]

What was your lowest moment?

Going through a breakup with my fiance. It ended badly with me waiting for him at a train station, abandoned in the snow in a blizzard. We met on Twitter. He was my first follower. He lived in Scotland and grew up privileged. He had a really good job and got laid off. He couldn’t support the house he was living in and they finally foreclosed. And he wasn’t close with his family. So he put everything into a suitcase and ended up homeless. Then he started a website about homeless people, and discovered my blog.

We visited each other and made plans to get married. I scraped up enough money to visit him in Scotland — surprise him — over Christmas in 2009. I got a surprise of my own. There was a woman staying in his house. I was shocked. He said, “It’s not what it looks like, I’ll get rid of her, but meanwhile, you can’t stay here.” So I stayed in a little hotel in town, spent all my money, and after a couple of days, they both packed their bags and left. The only contact with him since then was a two-line email saying, basically, “I can’t explain.”

(emphasis added)

She sounds like a reasonably intelligent girl with a somewhat codependent personality. She apparently lost most of her savings she needed for survival on the above “escapade.” Had she had a better support system (family/friends), she probably wouldn’t have gotten sucked into this mistake. Typical “internet” relationship where at least one party is trolling for online (1-900) sex/emotional affair but had no intention of ever meeting their “subject” and is otherwise not available. These are more common than not.

She’s young enough to recover from this. I wish her well.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=patb]
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews/
…[/quote]

What was your lowest moment?

Going through a breakup with my fiance. It ended badly with me waiting for him at a train station, abandoned in the snow in a blizzard. We met on Twitter. He was my first follower. He lived in Scotland and grew up privileged. He had a really good job and got laid off. He couldn’t support the house he was living in and they finally foreclosed. And he wasn’t close with his family. So he put everything into a suitcase and ended up homeless. Then he started a website about homeless people, and discovered my blog.

We visited each other and made plans to get married. I scraped up enough money to visit him in Scotland — surprise him — over Christmas in 2009. I got a surprise of my own. There was a woman staying in his house. I was shocked. He said, “It’s not what it looks like, I’ll get rid of her, but meanwhile, you can’t stay here.” So I stayed in a little hotel in town, spent all my money, and after a couple of days, they both packed their bags and left. The only contact with him since then was a two-line email saying, basically, “I can’t explain.”

(emphasis added)

She sounds like a reasonably intelligent girl with a somewhat codependent personality. She apparently lost most of her savings she needed for survival on the above “escapade.” Had she had a better support system (family/friends), she probably wouldn’t have gotten sucked into this mistake. Typical “internet” relationship where at least one party is trolling for online (1-900) sex/emotional affair but had no intention of ever meeting their “subject” and is otherwise not available. These are more common than not.

She’s young enough to recover from this. I wish her well.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=patb]
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews/
…[/quote]

What was your lowest moment?

Going through a breakup with my fiance. It ended badly with me waiting for him at a train station, abandoned in the snow in a blizzard. We met on Twitter. He was my first follower. He lived in Scotland and grew up privileged. He had a really good job and got laid off. He couldn’t support the house he was living in and they finally foreclosed. And he wasn’t close with his family. So he put everything into a suitcase and ended up homeless. Then he started a website about homeless people, and discovered my blog.

We visited each other and made plans to get married. I scraped up enough money to visit him in Scotland — surprise him — over Christmas in 2009. I got a surprise of my own. There was a woman staying in his house. I was shocked. He said, “It’s not what it looks like, I’ll get rid of her, but meanwhile, you can’t stay here.” So I stayed in a little hotel in town, spent all my money, and after a couple of days, they both packed their bags and left. The only contact with him since then was a two-line email saying, basically, “I can’t explain.”

(emphasis added)

She sounds like a reasonably intelligent girl with a somewhat codependent personality. She apparently lost most of her savings she needed for survival on the above “escapade.” Had she had a better support system (family/friends), she probably wouldn’t have gotten sucked into this mistake. Typical “internet” relationship where at least one party is trolling for online (1-900) sex/emotional affair but had no intention of ever meeting their “subject” and is otherwise not available. These are more common than not.

She’s young enough to recover from this. I wish her well.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=patb]
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews/
…[/quote]

What was your lowest moment?

Going through a breakup with my fiance. It ended badly with me waiting for him at a train station, abandoned in the snow in a blizzard. We met on Twitter. He was my first follower. He lived in Scotland and grew up privileged. He had a really good job and got laid off. He couldn’t support the house he was living in and they finally foreclosed. And he wasn’t close with his family. So he put everything into a suitcase and ended up homeless. Then he started a website about homeless people, and discovered my blog.

We visited each other and made plans to get married. I scraped up enough money to visit him in Scotland — surprise him — over Christmas in 2009. I got a surprise of my own. There was a woman staying in his house. I was shocked. He said, “It’s not what it looks like, I’ll get rid of her, but meanwhile, you can’t stay here.” So I stayed in a little hotel in town, spent all my money, and after a couple of days, they both packed their bags and left. The only contact with him since then was a two-line email saying, basically, “I can’t explain.”

(emphasis added)

She sounds like a reasonably intelligent girl with a somewhat codependent personality. She apparently lost most of her savings she needed for survival on the above “escapade.” Had she had a better support system (family/friends), she probably wouldn’t have gotten sucked into this mistake. Typical “internet” relationship where at least one party is trolling for online (1-900) sex/emotional affair but had no intention of ever meeting their “subject” and is otherwise not available. These are more common than not.

She’s young enough to recover from this. I wish her well.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=patb]
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112801/fight-to-rejoin-middle-class-usnews/
…[/quote]

What was your lowest moment?

Going through a breakup with my fiance. It ended badly with me waiting for him at a train station, abandoned in the snow in a blizzard. We met on Twitter. He was my first follower. He lived in Scotland and grew up privileged. He had a really good job and got laid off. He couldn’t support the house he was living in and they finally foreclosed. And he wasn’t close with his family. So he put everything into a suitcase and ended up homeless. Then he started a website about homeless people, and discovered my blog.

We visited each other and made plans to get married. I scraped up enough money to visit him in Scotland — surprise him — over Christmas in 2009. I got a surprise of my own. There was a woman staying in his house. I was shocked. He said, “It’s not what it looks like, I’ll get rid of her, but meanwhile, you can’t stay here.” So I stayed in a little hotel in town, spent all my money, and after a couple of days, they both packed their bags and left. The only contact with him since then was a two-line email saying, basically, “I can’t explain.”

(emphasis added)

She sounds like a reasonably intelligent girl with a somewhat codependent personality. She apparently lost most of her savings she needed for survival on the above “escapade.” Had she had a better support system (family/friends), she probably wouldn’t have gotten sucked into this mistake. Typical “internet” relationship where at least one party is trolling for online (1-900) sex/emotional affair but had no intention of ever meeting their “subject” and is otherwise not available. These are more common than not.

She’s young enough to recover from this. I wish her well.

[earlyretirement]

Well, there are always 2 sides to every story. I can understand supporting your kids as much as you can. But I know with some people they don’t act logically or think rationally. I’m not sure I agree with the “reasonably intelligent girl”. I mean, listen to what she wrote about quickly getting engaged to some guy she met on Twitter!

That doesn’t sound like someone that is reasonably intelligent. Normal, intelligent people don’t do things like that. It sounds like someone that is a mess and doesn’t have good common sense skills and logic or reasoning. So maybe her parents kicked her out for a reason.

Definitely if my kids were struggling at 23 I’d take them in. But I would want them to be a productive member of society and not just mooching off of me. They’d have to be working or actively looking for work, etc.

But at the same time, I know of some people that are just lazy by nature and don’t like working. And there isn’t any reason why parents should encourage or support that kind of behavior at 23. So if this girl (and others) are like this…kicking them out might be the best thing you can do to teach them that you can’t get sit back and do nothing in life.

You can see many countries where kids live at home essentially until they are married. And they work, have normal lives, go to school, etc. When I lived in Argentina, I really liked seeing the closeness of families. Females many times would live at home until 30’s or until they got married. Same with males. They would save up, not go crazy with debt and that was common to live at home, save up money and get a true start on life.

I do think sometimes you gotta have some tough love.

[earlyretirement]

Well, there are always 2 sides to every story. I can understand supporting your kids as much as you can. But I know with some people they don’t act logically or think rationally. I’m not sure I agree with the “reasonably intelligent girl”. I mean, listen to what she wrote about quickly getting engaged to some guy she met on Twitter!

That doesn’t sound like someone that is reasonably intelligent. Normal, intelligent people don’t do things like that. It sounds like someone that is a mess and doesn’t have good common sense skills and logic or reasoning. So maybe her parents kicked her out for a reason.

Definitely if my kids were struggling at 23 I’d take them in. But I would want them to be a productive member of society and not just mooching off of me. They’d have to be working or actively looking for work, etc.

But at the same time, I know of some people that are just lazy by nature and don’t like working. And there isn’t any reason why parents should encourage or support that kind of behavior at 23. So if this girl (and others) are like this…kicking them out might be the best thing you can do to teach them that you can’t get sit back and do nothing in life.

You can see many countries where kids live at home essentially until they are married. And they work, have normal lives, go to school, etc. When I lived in Argentina, I really liked seeing the closeness of families. Females many times would live at home until 30’s or until they got married. Same with males. They would save up, not go crazy with debt and that was common to live at home, save up money and get a true start on life.

I do think sometimes you gotta have some tough love.

[earlyretirement]

Well, there are always 2 sides to every story. I can understand supporting your kids as much as you can. But I know with some people they don’t act logically or think rationally. I’m not sure I agree with the “reasonably intelligent girl”. I mean, listen to what she wrote about quickly getting engaged to some guy she met on Twitter!

That doesn’t sound like someone that is reasonably intelligent. Normal, intelligent people don’t do things like that. It sounds like someone that is a mess and doesn’t have good common sense skills and logic or reasoning. So maybe her parents kicked her out for a reason.

Definitely if my kids were struggling at 23 I’d take them in. But I would want them to be a productive member of society and not just mooching off of me. They’d have to be working or actively looking for work, etc.

But at the same time, I know of some people that are just lazy by nature and don’t like working. And there isn’t any reason why parents should encourage or support that kind of behavior at 23. So if this girl (and others) are like this…kicking them out might be the best thing you can do to teach them that you can’t get sit back and do nothing in life.

You can see many countries where kids live at home essentially until they are married. And they work, have normal lives, go to school, etc. When I lived in Argentina, I really liked seeing the closeness of families. Females many times would live at home until 30’s or until they got married. Same with males. They would save up, not go crazy with debt and that was common to live at home, save up money and get a true start on life.

I do think sometimes you gotta have some tough love.

[earlyretirement]

Well, there are always 2 sides to every story. I can understand supporting your kids as much as you can. But I know with some people they don’t act logically or think rationally. I’m not sure I agree with the “reasonably intelligent girl”. I mean, listen to what she wrote about quickly getting engaged to some guy she met on Twitter!

That doesn’t sound like someone that is reasonably intelligent. Normal, intelligent people don’t do things like that. It sounds like someone that is a mess and doesn’t have good common sense skills and logic or reasoning. So maybe her parents kicked her out for a reason.

Definitely if my kids were struggling at 23 I’d take them in. But I would want them to be a productive member of society and not just mooching off of me. They’d have to be working or actively looking for work, etc.

But at the same time, I know of some people that are just lazy by nature and don’t like working. And there isn’t any reason why parents should encourage or support that kind of behavior at 23. So if this girl (and others) are like this…kicking them out might be the best thing you can do to teach them that you can’t get sit back and do nothing in life.

You can see many countries where kids live at home essentially until they are married. And they work, have normal lives, go to school, etc. When I lived in Argentina, I really liked seeing the closeness of families. Females many times would live at home until 30’s or until they got married. Same with males. They would save up, not go crazy with debt and that was common to live at home, save up money and get a true start on life.

I do think sometimes you gotta have some tough love.

[Author]

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