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May 22, 2008 at 6:53 PM #210318May 22, 2008 at 8:24 PM #210201
CoronitaParticipantFLU,
We live in Del Mar, and our kids don't have that stuff. Yes, there's tremendous pressure to buy, buy, buy, and have the latest and greatest stuff, but the pressure is only effective if we allow it to be. We do our best to ignore it and stay true to our own values and way of life. Obviously, we're not immune to the pressure entirely (otherwise, this thread wouldn't have hit home with me!)…it's always a balancing act and a bit of a struggle.
For example, our 8th grader is mortified that she has the free flip phone that we got when we added her to our cellphone plan a year ago. Getting her the phone was more for our convenience than hers and there was no way we were going to actually spend money to get her a fancier phone than Verizon gave us for free. She also (horrors!) does not have a text plan…how old-fashioned of us! We will renegotiate that decision with her next year for high school, but for now, we don't see the need for an 8th grader to be text messaging along with emailing and chatting on the phone…no, we're not as mean as we sound, but we try to set our own boundaries. Believe it or not, she's generally a happy, popular kid.
Still, we are out of the norm for our area and among her friends. We try to keep true to our beliefs, but we really don't want to cop some holier-than-thou attitude about our way of parenting. It's hard to understand how other parents don't get the connection between giving their kids all this stuff and seeing that their kids later feel so entitled, but c'est la vie. The irony is that while these parents feel they are "giving" their kids so much, they are probably doing them a big disservice, the results of which will show up later when their kids are, at some point, forced to cope in the real world.
By the way, what is this thing with CV high schools expecting laptops? Sounds like something else that we'll find out when our daughter attends next year!
Carlie,
Just to clarify . I wasn't finger pointing at you and your family or anyone specifically. I live here CV and am just pointing out some of the things I see around this community. Growing up in SoCal in a relatively aflluent community similar to DelMar/CV/RSF with normal working parents, I can tell you there is definitely the social pressure on kids, like it or not. It's a two sided coin. On one hand, your kid wants to fit in and you as a parent probably don't want your kid to be excluded socially. At the same time, you don't want your kid to turn into a spoiled brat. Responsible parents that are from a normal background have a tough job balancing this. Irresponsible parents often cave in (just like other financial decisions). And filthy rich parents, well, some don't spoil their kids and some do. On the other hand, you probably want to raise your kids in an environment where the average kid wants to go to college or achieve something and where the norm of academic performance is decent. (You probably don't want to send your kid to a gang infested school district with low test scores for example). So like I said, it's often not easy as a responsible parent to juggle these choices. I'm sure many cave in, since it's probably the lesser path of resistance.
Personally, I'm not against human progress either. For example, my 2 year knows what a computer is, though she might not know how to use it. I don't think it would be good if one makes a kid live like a hermit so that he/she is out of touch with reality either.
About the laptop thing in carmel valley school system. don't worry, it was old news.. The proposal was shot down by a majority of parents from all financial/social backgrounds… And it wasn't at the high school level…It was at the k-6 level, which made it even more absurd.
[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]
—– Sour grapes for everyone!
May 22, 2008 at 8:24 PM #210268CoronitaParticipantFLU,
We live in Del Mar, and our kids don't have that stuff. Yes, there's tremendous pressure to buy, buy, buy, and have the latest and greatest stuff, but the pressure is only effective if we allow it to be. We do our best to ignore it and stay true to our own values and way of life. Obviously, we're not immune to the pressure entirely (otherwise, this thread wouldn't have hit home with me!)…it's always a balancing act and a bit of a struggle.
For example, our 8th grader is mortified that she has the free flip phone that we got when we added her to our cellphone plan a year ago. Getting her the phone was more for our convenience than hers and there was no way we were going to actually spend money to get her a fancier phone than Verizon gave us for free. She also (horrors!) does not have a text plan…how old-fashioned of us! We will renegotiate that decision with her next year for high school, but for now, we don't see the need for an 8th grader to be text messaging along with emailing and chatting on the phone…no, we're not as mean as we sound, but we try to set our own boundaries. Believe it or not, she's generally a happy, popular kid.
Still, we are out of the norm for our area and among her friends. We try to keep true to our beliefs, but we really don't want to cop some holier-than-thou attitude about our way of parenting. It's hard to understand how other parents don't get the connection between giving their kids all this stuff and seeing that their kids later feel so entitled, but c'est la vie. The irony is that while these parents feel they are "giving" their kids so much, they are probably doing them a big disservice, the results of which will show up later when their kids are, at some point, forced to cope in the real world.
By the way, what is this thing with CV high schools expecting laptops? Sounds like something else that we'll find out when our daughter attends next year!
Carlie,
Just to clarify . I wasn't finger pointing at you and your family or anyone specifically. I live here CV and am just pointing out some of the things I see around this community. Growing up in SoCal in a relatively aflluent community similar to DelMar/CV/RSF with normal working parents, I can tell you there is definitely the social pressure on kids, like it or not. It's a two sided coin. On one hand, your kid wants to fit in and you as a parent probably don't want your kid to be excluded socially. At the same time, you don't want your kid to turn into a spoiled brat. Responsible parents that are from a normal background have a tough job balancing this. Irresponsible parents often cave in (just like other financial decisions). And filthy rich parents, well, some don't spoil their kids and some do. On the other hand, you probably want to raise your kids in an environment where the average kid wants to go to college or achieve something and where the norm of academic performance is decent. (You probably don't want to send your kid to a gang infested school district with low test scores for example). So like I said, it's often not easy as a responsible parent to juggle these choices. I'm sure many cave in, since it's probably the lesser path of resistance.
Personally, I'm not against human progress either. For example, my 2 year knows what a computer is, though she might not know how to use it. I don't think it would be good if one makes a kid live like a hermit so that he/she is out of touch with reality either.
About the laptop thing in carmel valley school system. don't worry, it was old news.. The proposal was shot down by a majority of parents from all financial/social backgrounds… And it wasn't at the high school level…It was at the k-6 level, which made it even more absurd.
[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]
—– Sour grapes for everyone!
May 22, 2008 at 8:24 PM #210300CoronitaParticipantFLU,
We live in Del Mar, and our kids don't have that stuff. Yes, there's tremendous pressure to buy, buy, buy, and have the latest and greatest stuff, but the pressure is only effective if we allow it to be. We do our best to ignore it and stay true to our own values and way of life. Obviously, we're not immune to the pressure entirely (otherwise, this thread wouldn't have hit home with me!)…it's always a balancing act and a bit of a struggle.
For example, our 8th grader is mortified that she has the free flip phone that we got when we added her to our cellphone plan a year ago. Getting her the phone was more for our convenience than hers and there was no way we were going to actually spend money to get her a fancier phone than Verizon gave us for free. She also (horrors!) does not have a text plan…how old-fashioned of us! We will renegotiate that decision with her next year for high school, but for now, we don't see the need for an 8th grader to be text messaging along with emailing and chatting on the phone…no, we're not as mean as we sound, but we try to set our own boundaries. Believe it or not, she's generally a happy, popular kid.
Still, we are out of the norm for our area and among her friends. We try to keep true to our beliefs, but we really don't want to cop some holier-than-thou attitude about our way of parenting. It's hard to understand how other parents don't get the connection between giving their kids all this stuff and seeing that their kids later feel so entitled, but c'est la vie. The irony is that while these parents feel they are "giving" their kids so much, they are probably doing them a big disservice, the results of which will show up later when their kids are, at some point, forced to cope in the real world.
By the way, what is this thing with CV high schools expecting laptops? Sounds like something else that we'll find out when our daughter attends next year!
Carlie,
Just to clarify . I wasn't finger pointing at you and your family or anyone specifically. I live here CV and am just pointing out some of the things I see around this community. Growing up in SoCal in a relatively aflluent community similar to DelMar/CV/RSF with normal working parents, I can tell you there is definitely the social pressure on kids, like it or not. It's a two sided coin. On one hand, your kid wants to fit in and you as a parent probably don't want your kid to be excluded socially. At the same time, you don't want your kid to turn into a spoiled brat. Responsible parents that are from a normal background have a tough job balancing this. Irresponsible parents often cave in (just like other financial decisions). And filthy rich parents, well, some don't spoil their kids and some do. On the other hand, you probably want to raise your kids in an environment where the average kid wants to go to college or achieve something and where the norm of academic performance is decent. (You probably don't want to send your kid to a gang infested school district with low test scores for example). So like I said, it's often not easy as a responsible parent to juggle these choices. I'm sure many cave in, since it's probably the lesser path of resistance.
Personally, I'm not against human progress either. For example, my 2 year knows what a computer is, though she might not know how to use it. I don't think it would be good if one makes a kid live like a hermit so that he/she is out of touch with reality either.
About the laptop thing in carmel valley school system. don't worry, it was old news.. The proposal was shot down by a majority of parents from all financial/social backgrounds… And it wasn't at the high school level…It was at the k-6 level, which made it even more absurd.
[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]
—– Sour grapes for everyone!
May 22, 2008 at 8:24 PM #210319CoronitaParticipantFLU,
We live in Del Mar, and our kids don't have that stuff. Yes, there's tremendous pressure to buy, buy, buy, and have the latest and greatest stuff, but the pressure is only effective if we allow it to be. We do our best to ignore it and stay true to our own values and way of life. Obviously, we're not immune to the pressure entirely (otherwise, this thread wouldn't have hit home with me!)…it's always a balancing act and a bit of a struggle.
For example, our 8th grader is mortified that she has the free flip phone that we got when we added her to our cellphone plan a year ago. Getting her the phone was more for our convenience than hers and there was no way we were going to actually spend money to get her a fancier phone than Verizon gave us for free. She also (horrors!) does not have a text plan…how old-fashioned of us! We will renegotiate that decision with her next year for high school, but for now, we don't see the need for an 8th grader to be text messaging along with emailing and chatting on the phone…no, we're not as mean as we sound, but we try to set our own boundaries. Believe it or not, she's generally a happy, popular kid.
Still, we are out of the norm for our area and among her friends. We try to keep true to our beliefs, but we really don't want to cop some holier-than-thou attitude about our way of parenting. It's hard to understand how other parents don't get the connection between giving their kids all this stuff and seeing that their kids later feel so entitled, but c'est la vie. The irony is that while these parents feel they are "giving" their kids so much, they are probably doing them a big disservice, the results of which will show up later when their kids are, at some point, forced to cope in the real world.
By the way, what is this thing with CV high schools expecting laptops? Sounds like something else that we'll find out when our daughter attends next year!
Carlie,
Just to clarify . I wasn't finger pointing at you and your family or anyone specifically. I live here CV and am just pointing out some of the things I see around this community. Growing up in SoCal in a relatively aflluent community similar to DelMar/CV/RSF with normal working parents, I can tell you there is definitely the social pressure on kids, like it or not. It's a two sided coin. On one hand, your kid wants to fit in and you as a parent probably don't want your kid to be excluded socially. At the same time, you don't want your kid to turn into a spoiled brat. Responsible parents that are from a normal background have a tough job balancing this. Irresponsible parents often cave in (just like other financial decisions). And filthy rich parents, well, some don't spoil their kids and some do. On the other hand, you probably want to raise your kids in an environment where the average kid wants to go to college or achieve something and where the norm of academic performance is decent. (You probably don't want to send your kid to a gang infested school district with low test scores for example). So like I said, it's often not easy as a responsible parent to juggle these choices. I'm sure many cave in, since it's probably the lesser path of resistance.
Personally, I'm not against human progress either. For example, my 2 year knows what a computer is, though she might not know how to use it. I don't think it would be good if one makes a kid live like a hermit so that he/she is out of touch with reality either.
About the laptop thing in carmel valley school system. don't worry, it was old news.. The proposal was shot down by a majority of parents from all financial/social backgrounds… And it wasn't at the high school level…It was at the k-6 level, which made it even more absurd.
[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]
—– Sour grapes for everyone!
May 22, 2008 at 8:24 PM #210353CoronitaParticipantFLU,
We live in Del Mar, and our kids don't have that stuff. Yes, there's tremendous pressure to buy, buy, buy, and have the latest and greatest stuff, but the pressure is only effective if we allow it to be. We do our best to ignore it and stay true to our own values and way of life. Obviously, we're not immune to the pressure entirely (otherwise, this thread wouldn't have hit home with me!)…it's always a balancing act and a bit of a struggle.
For example, our 8th grader is mortified that she has the free flip phone that we got when we added her to our cellphone plan a year ago. Getting her the phone was more for our convenience than hers and there was no way we were going to actually spend money to get her a fancier phone than Verizon gave us for free. She also (horrors!) does not have a text plan…how old-fashioned of us! We will renegotiate that decision with her next year for high school, but for now, we don't see the need for an 8th grader to be text messaging along with emailing and chatting on the phone…no, we're not as mean as we sound, but we try to set our own boundaries. Believe it or not, she's generally a happy, popular kid.
Still, we are out of the norm for our area and among her friends. We try to keep true to our beliefs, but we really don't want to cop some holier-than-thou attitude about our way of parenting. It's hard to understand how other parents don't get the connection between giving their kids all this stuff and seeing that their kids later feel so entitled, but c'est la vie. The irony is that while these parents feel they are "giving" their kids so much, they are probably doing them a big disservice, the results of which will show up later when their kids are, at some point, forced to cope in the real world.
By the way, what is this thing with CV high schools expecting laptops? Sounds like something else that we'll find out when our daughter attends next year!
Carlie,
Just to clarify . I wasn't finger pointing at you and your family or anyone specifically. I live here CV and am just pointing out some of the things I see around this community. Growing up in SoCal in a relatively aflluent community similar to DelMar/CV/RSF with normal working parents, I can tell you there is definitely the social pressure on kids, like it or not. It's a two sided coin. On one hand, your kid wants to fit in and you as a parent probably don't want your kid to be excluded socially. At the same time, you don't want your kid to turn into a spoiled brat. Responsible parents that are from a normal background have a tough job balancing this. Irresponsible parents often cave in (just like other financial decisions). And filthy rich parents, well, some don't spoil their kids and some do. On the other hand, you probably want to raise your kids in an environment where the average kid wants to go to college or achieve something and where the norm of academic performance is decent. (You probably don't want to send your kid to a gang infested school district with low test scores for example). So like I said, it's often not easy as a responsible parent to juggle these choices. I'm sure many cave in, since it's probably the lesser path of resistance.
Personally, I'm not against human progress either. For example, my 2 year knows what a computer is, though she might not know how to use it. I don't think it would be good if one makes a kid live like a hermit so that he/she is out of touch with reality either.
About the laptop thing in carmel valley school system. don't worry, it was old news.. The proposal was shot down by a majority of parents from all financial/social backgrounds… And it wasn't at the high school level…It was at the k-6 level, which made it even more absurd.
[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]
—– Sour grapes for everyone!
May 22, 2008 at 9:04 PM #210221carli
ParticipantFLU –
No worries, I didn’t think you were pointing fingers at me. I agree it’s not good to make a kid live like a hermit to the point that he/she is out of touch with reality. I think that’s part of the balancing act in a nutshell – not succumbing to the pressure to just buy all kinds of stuff (and, as you say, is often the path of least resistance) while making sure they have what they need to be in tune with what’s going on in the rest of the world. Thanks for your insight.
May 22, 2008 at 9:04 PM #210288ParticipantFLU –
No worries, I didn’t think you were pointing fingers at me. I agree it’s not good to make a kid live like a hermit to the point that he/she is out of touch with reality. I think that’s part of the balancing act in a nutshell – not succumbing to the pressure to just buy all kinds of stuff (and, as you say, is often the path of least resistance) while making sure they have what they need to be in tune with what’s going on in the rest of the world. Thanks for your insight.
May 22, 2008 at 9:04 PM #210317ParticipantFLU –
No worries, I didn’t think you were pointing fingers at me. I agree it’s not good to make a kid live like a hermit to the point that he/she is out of touch with reality. I think that’s part of the balancing act in a nutshell – not succumbing to the pressure to just buy all kinds of stuff (and, as you say, is often the path of least resistance) while making sure they have what they need to be in tune with what’s going on in the rest of the world. Thanks for your insight.
May 22, 2008 at 9:04 PM #210340ParticipantFLU –
No worries, I didn’t think you were pointing fingers at me. I agree it’s not good to make a kid live like a hermit to the point that he/she is out of touch with reality. I think that’s part of the balancing act in a nutshell – not succumbing to the pressure to just buy all kinds of stuff (and, as you say, is often the path of least resistance) while making sure they have what they need to be in tune with what’s going on in the rest of the world. Thanks for your insight.
May 22, 2008 at 9:04 PM #210374ParticipantFLU –
No worries, I didn’t think you were pointing fingers at me. I agree it’s not good to make a kid live like a hermit to the point that he/she is out of touch with reality. I think that’s part of the balancing act in a nutshell – not succumbing to the pressure to just buy all kinds of stuff (and, as you say, is often the path of least resistance) while making sure they have what they need to be in tune with what’s going on in the rest of the world. Thanks for your insight.
May 22, 2008 at 10:00 PM #210271tapdoubt
ParticipantOne factor that’s been overlooked here is the impact of No Child Left Behind on public education. NCLB and its focus on test scores is driving the entire public school curriculum. The tests no longer serve to measure student learning–student learning has been set aside so that we can drill the kids and make them into little number two pencil and scantron test-taking robots.
I’ve worked 18 years in public and private high schools in California. Here’s one relevant example among many: When Bush and his Ed. secretary introduced NCLB I was teaching a Shakespeare course and my colleague in the classroom next door was teaching a personal finance course. Both courses were soon removed from the schedule. The reasons given? Shakespeare and personal finance will not be on the state standardized tests.
When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Kids who have irresponsible parents do not necessarily deserve to share their parents fate when it comes to personal finance, sensible use of credit, etc. Taking a course isn’t going to be a silver bullet but kids deserve a chance to learn something about how to take care of themselves out there. Kids, especially those with parents who don’t model responsible behavior, need to be treated as human beings and future citizens. In the current climate we have been legislated into dealing with kids as if their only use is to be the data on our annual standardized test results.
May 22, 2008 at 10:00 PM #210337ParticipantOne factor that’s been overlooked here is the impact of No Child Left Behind on public education. NCLB and its focus on test scores is driving the entire public school curriculum. The tests no longer serve to measure student learning–student learning has been set aside so that we can drill the kids and make them into little number two pencil and scantron test-taking robots.
I’ve worked 18 years in public and private high schools in California. Here’s one relevant example among many: When Bush and his Ed. secretary introduced NCLB I was teaching a Shakespeare course and my colleague in the classroom next door was teaching a personal finance course. Both courses were soon removed from the schedule. The reasons given? Shakespeare and personal finance will not be on the state standardized tests.
When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Kids who have irresponsible parents do not necessarily deserve to share their parents fate when it comes to personal finance, sensible use of credit, etc. Taking a course isn’t going to be a silver bullet but kids deserve a chance to learn something about how to take care of themselves out there. Kids, especially those with parents who don’t model responsible behavior, need to be treated as human beings and future citizens. In the current climate we have been legislated into dealing with kids as if their only use is to be the data on our annual standardized test results.
May 22, 2008 at 10:00 PM #210370ParticipantOne factor that’s been overlooked here is the impact of No Child Left Behind on public education. NCLB and its focus on test scores is driving the entire public school curriculum. The tests no longer serve to measure student learning–student learning has been set aside so that we can drill the kids and make them into little number two pencil and scantron test-taking robots.
I’ve worked 18 years in public and private high schools in California. Here’s one relevant example among many: When Bush and his Ed. secretary introduced NCLB I was teaching a Shakespeare course and my colleague in the classroom next door was teaching a personal finance course. Both courses were soon removed from the schedule. The reasons given? Shakespeare and personal finance will not be on the state standardized tests.
When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Kids who have irresponsible parents do not necessarily deserve to share their parents fate when it comes to personal finance, sensible use of credit, etc. Taking a course isn’t going to be a silver bullet but kids deserve a chance to learn something about how to take care of themselves out there. Kids, especially those with parents who don’t model responsible behavior, need to be treated as human beings and future citizens. In the current climate we have been legislated into dealing with kids as if their only use is to be the data on our annual standardized test results.
May 22, 2008 at 10:00 PM #210389ParticipantOne factor that’s been overlooked here is the impact of No Child Left Behind on public education. NCLB and its focus on test scores is driving the entire public school curriculum. The tests no longer serve to measure student learning–student learning has been set aside so that we can drill the kids and make them into little number two pencil and scantron test-taking robots.
I’ve worked 18 years in public and private high schools in California. Here’s one relevant example among many: When Bush and his Ed. secretary introduced NCLB I was teaching a Shakespeare course and my colleague in the classroom next door was teaching a personal finance course. Both courses were soon removed from the schedule. The reasons given? Shakespeare and personal finance will not be on the state standardized tests.
When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Kids who have irresponsible parents do not necessarily deserve to share their parents fate when it comes to personal finance, sensible use of credit, etc. Taking a course isn’t going to be a silver bullet but kids deserve a chance to learn something about how to take care of themselves out there. Kids, especially those with parents who don’t model responsible behavior, need to be treated as human beings and future citizens. In the current climate we have been legislated into dealing with kids as if their only use is to be the data on our annual standardized test results.
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