OT: I hate tiger moms and dads

[an]

[quote=flu]Yeah, but do you blame us? Look at all we had to give up….Real leather versus Pleather in our cars, TRACT homes with dissolvable walls, no AC and no front and back yard…. No furniture in our home except for the $99 Ikea special…

Not like we’re living a luxurious life like some of more privileged, affluent constituents in wealthier Mira Mesa… I mean, most of us workaholics slave away and return to the Slums in Carmel Valley after working on that information super-railroad, brick by brick…For shame.[/quote]
You were on a roll until you got to the walls. I definitely have to beat. At least you have walls to dissolve. Unlike CV, us in MM have to deal with unbearable heat. We’d die if we didn’t get AC. I also have your furniture beat. I’m still using the dining set we bought for <$200 many years ago while we were renting. With that said, I think you're just having a case of grass is greener on the other side. Would CV schools be where it is with the reputation it has w/out the kids from those tiger parents? Mira Mesa schools can use a few more tiger parents. Just look at the API scores of the subgroups. TPHS and MMHS are pretty comparable until you get to the Asian category. TPHS Asian blew by MMHS like it was standing still. Would CV be fetching to premium it does w/out its schools?

[CA renter]

[quote=squat250]All the bragging is based on fear and insecurity.

What are we afraid of? Failure. Death. Inability. Lack of capacity to reproduce successfully?

I came up with a brief list of attributes this morning before breakfast that might be worth bragging about, other than grades or athletic achievements?

.does your kid give a crap about others
Do they enjoy their day?
Do they have a sense of duty? Of purpose?
Are they flexible?
Are they capable of real attachments/
Do they have a true friend?
Do they love?
Are they fun?
Funny?
Do they laugh?
Are they anxious?
Are they resilient?
Do they take care?
Are they interested?
Are they independently minded>
Are they incessantly comparing themselves to others?
Do they have a hobby?
Can they stand to hang out with you/ can they bear to talk to you? Does your mere voice fill them with a sense of dread and anxiety?
Are they faithful? Kind? Respectful?
Do they take themselves way too seriously?
Is he enlightened?

At breakfast my wife shot down my list. Basically, she said, parenting, it’s about getting them out on t heir own, and able to make decent money so they can support themselves and others. She was probably being contrary and independent minded..if I had spouted her position originally, i bet she would have come up with an even longer list liek mine…

….i am not sure exactly what is necessary and what is sufficient, what is optional and what is essential…I do feel strong urges to bragabout my kidsrecent high AP scores…i can see that it is insecurity, that i am hoping it all translates into a better life for him. But will it? Who the hell knows? Does it matter? probably no more than him having qualities off the list above…probably much less…

Do tiger moms in buddhist countries worry about how much faster and deeper their kids enlightenment is?

“you will meditate four hours tonight! You cannot get into a decent temple with your half-assed meditation![/quote]

That’s an excellent list, scaredy.

Like others here, I’ve known kids from very, very affluent families who never amounted to anything (or worse). From everything I’ve seen, there is no correlation between happiness and wealth once one has enough money to take care of all their needs and some few extras.

IMHO, success is all about perspective. Those who are always trying to “move up” in life are never satisfied with where they are. OTOH, there are many very “average” middle-class people who are perfectly happy with their spouses, jobs, and general lot in life. Which one is more “successful”?

[SK in CV]

[quote=AN]With that said, I think you’re just having a case of grass is greener on the other side. Would CV schools be where it is with the reputation it has w/out the kids from those tiger parents? Mira Mesa schools can use a few more tiger parents. Just look at the API scores of the subgroups. TPHS and MMHS are pretty comparable until you get to the Asian category. TPHS Asian blew by MMHS like it was standing still. Would CV be fetching to premium it does w/out its schools?[/quote]

It isn’t just the schools in CV. It’s just as much the families. A handful of them might be tiger families, but I’m guessing most are not. There’s a culture both within the school and in the kids homes where academic achievement is a good thing. Kids study. Few of them work. (I’m talking about the high schools here.) There aren’t a lot of behavior problems. There isn’t a lot of bullying. The kids in band are just as cool as the football players or the basketball players. There are as many AP classes available as a kid (or parent) could want. My daughter got straight A’s. She could have taken 2 more AP classes. She wasn’t in the top 10% of her graduating class. (They dont publish class rankings, i think in order to avoid competition. I only know that because there’s some special UC entrance benefit for graduating in the top 10% of the class.) That means that at least 10% of the class too more AP classes than she did AND got straight A’s.

I think if you put these same kids in almost any school, they’d perform almost as well. And unless things have changed dramatically in the last 5 years, these are NOT mostly tiger parents.

[flyer]

Great to hear all the feedback. Very interesting info.

In essence I guess it all boils down to if you, your kids, and your family are living the lives of your dreams–tigers or not–that’s all that really matters. At least that’s what we’ve always aspired to do.

We happen to have some very strong beliefs about eternity, so this short lifetime we spend on earth is really just a moment in time anyway.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=flyer] . . . We happen to have some very strong beliefs about eternity, so this short lifetime we spend on earth is really just a moment in time anyway.[/quote]

Agree that this is a “good plan,” flyer. Having lost all but one of my (original) immediate family to death, I understand … completely.

We all need to make whatever time we have on this planet count and pursue our dreams with vengeance!

[an]

[quote=SK in CV][quote=AN]With that said, I think you’re just having a case of grass is greener on the other side. Would CV schools be where it is with the reputation it has w/out the kids from those tiger parents? Mira Mesa schools can use a few more tiger parents. Just look at the API scores of the subgroups. TPHS and MMHS are pretty comparable until you get to the Asian category. TPHS Asian blew by MMHS like it was standing still. Would CV be fetching to premium it does w/out its schools?[/quote]

It isn’t just the schools in CV. It’s just as much the families. A handful of them might be tiger families, but I’m guessing most are not. There’s a culture both within the school and in the kids homes where academic achievement is a good thing. Kids study. Few of them work. (I’m talking about the high schools here.) There aren’t a lot of behavior problems. There isn’t a lot of bullying. The kids in band are just as cool as the football players or the basketball players. There are as many AP classes available as a kid (or parent) could want. My daughter got straight A’s. She could have taken 2 more AP classes. She wasn’t in the top 10% of her graduating class. (They dont publish class rankings, i think in order to avoid competition. I only know that because there’s some special UC entrance benefit for graduating in the top 10% of the class.) That means that at least 10% of the class too more AP classes than she did AND got straight A’s.

I think if you put these same kids in almost any school, they’d perform almost as well. And unless things have changed dramatically in the last 5 years, these are NOT mostly tiger parents.[/quote]
I think you’re basically saying what I said in a different way. CV school is one of the big reason that draw people to CV. Which also is one of the reason CV has its premium. I never said CV schools can teach the kids better than other schools. There’s no way for me to prove one way or another. However, I think API scores has a lot more to do with demographic than school’s teaching ability. The Asian demographic there does really emphasize academic. Their result shows, whether you think it work or not.

Just because the “tiger” parent term was made popular recently doesn’t mean the “tiger” behavior hasn’t always been there among parents who are educated and driven themselves. I think educated upper middle class parents know that they got where they are because of their education. So, many push their kids to excel in education, hoping their kids will do better than they did. So, whether it’s a word like “tiger” or not, the behavior has always been there. BTW, the culture you described is a mild “tiger” parent behavior to me. It’s just the extreme “tiger” parent don’t just think academic achievement is a good thing, it’s an expected thing.

If you graduated in the top 10%, you’re guaranteed a to be accepted to one UC. Mine was UCI (I didn’t go there though). My cousin just graduated this year and she got accepted to both UCLA and UCSD. Her parents didn’t push are at all (her academic accomplishments was all her own). She wasn’t in the top 5 and her GPA was 4.5 (straight As). Are you sure they don’t publish ranking? At least for MMHS, they did and they still do. Not all successful kids have “tiger” parents. My cousin is a prime example. However, I think she can do much more if her parents are “tiger” parents. I think her potential is higher than her result.

[sdrealtor]

Nice post SK
That describes my community also and I’m miles away from CV. Yes we have overzealous parents (more sports than academics here) but most are just good involved parents providing their kids with a healthy and happy environment in which to enjoy their wonder years. Sure we have to dodge our share of lizards while wandering around our far flung Nirvana wondering why we live in Mello Roos burdened tract homes but we like each other. I know my neighbors and they know me. I went to some of their weddings and will go to their childens weddings.

Life doesnt suck unless you let it.

[KIBU]

Um what is a binomial equation?

[an]

[quote=flu]Well, so I was at the ice skating rink. And geesh, my kid’s friend is like 6. Granted, she can skate really really well, the parent didn’t want her kid to play with mine, because she wanted her to “train”. Same kid is 6 and is doin like long division and binomial equations at school.. WTF is the point?[/quote]
I missed this. If the 6 year old truly can understand binomial equations, then she’s definitely special. Most kids at this age can barely multiply and divide. This remind me of this kid: http://www.technonewspaper.com/this-teen-successfully-solve-mystery-puzzle-newton/962.html. Some people are truly special. I think that kid’s dad was teaching him Calculus when he was 8 and by the time he was 10, his math capability surpasses his dad’s.

[Coronita]

[quote=KIBU]Um what is a binomial equation?[/quote]

(x+y)^2 = x^2 + 2xy + y^2
(x+y)^3 = x^3 + 3yx^2 +3xy^2 +y^3
(x+y)^4 = …..
(x+y)^n = …..

etc etc etc

[cvmom]

[quote=flu][quote=KIBU]Um what is a binomial equation?[/quote]

(x+y)^2 = x^2 + 2xy + y^2
(x+y)^3 = x^3 + 3yx^2 +3xy^2 +y^3
(x+y)^4 = …..
(x+y)^n = …..

etc etc etc[/quote]

That’s a threadkiller for sure 🙂

[Author]

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