OT – Feelings of Melancholy, Life Plans Going Forward

[mydogsarelazy]

Hi Cabal,

Pema Chodron, mentioned by citydweller in the preceding post, is a fantastically wise writer. A great suggestion.

I am 52, and from your original post the comment that I really connected with was the one you made about friends:

“Most have drifted away due to life circumstances.”

There is something about the way we all live that really corrodes friendships. I have thought about it often.

Because there is such an emphasis on independence in our culture I find that many of my friends and I have ended up competing with each other rather than supporting each other. To be brief about it, many of my best friendships have just sort of dwindled down to almost nothing.

So here we are on the net being “friendly.” At least that is something…

Hope you are feeling better soon.

JS

[sdduuuude]

I’d suggest looking forward instead of looking back.

Nothing so bad has happened that you can’t change to make the next phase better.

I’d suggest adjusting that bucket list, make plans for the future. If you feel like you don’t have anyting to live for, then make something to live for.

Take a class in something or join a sports league.

I agree that excersise helps in many ways. Yoga has always seemed corny to me. I’d be the one giggling in the back, though martial arts could be a good substitute.

I’m not much for church. I did my time with 12 yrs of Catholic school. I find it as hollow a use of time as anything else.

It seems teenage kids always need external mentors to help them through things they don’t want their parents to know about. The best thing you can do there is don’t stop asking them to share their thoughts. Don’t stop encouraging them to excel. They may not respond in any way shape or form. Teenagers are twised. They do not want you to know what is going on, but they do want you to care. And they’ll always remember that you did.

I would also suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I’m not much into self-help books, but this one has some good perspective on personal mission statements. I only read the first three habits, but I liked what I read and much of it applies to your situation. The intro is a bit long and wordy, but get through it and you start on the first habit, it makes sense.

Sometimes it is best to set plans for the future based on “what kind of person do I want to be” rather than “what do I want to own” or “how do I want to end up”

Life is 100% made up of “how you spend your time” Changing your bucket list focus to “what do I want to be doing with my time” from “what do I want to get out of it” can help make the passing years more fun.

[sdduuuude]

I’d suggest looking forward instead of looking back.

Nothing so bad has happened that you can’t change to make the next phase better.

I’d suggest adjusting that bucket list, make plans for the future. If you feel like you don’t have anyting to live for, then make something to live for.

Take a class in something or join a sports league.

I agree that excersise helps in many ways. Yoga has always seemed corny to me. I’d be the one giggling in the back, though martial arts could be a good substitute.

I’m not much for church. I did my time with 12 yrs of Catholic school. I find it as hollow a use of time as anything else.

It seems teenage kids always need external mentors to help them through things they don’t want their parents to know about. The best thing you can do there is don’t stop asking them to share their thoughts. Don’t stop encouraging them to excel. They may not respond in any way shape or form. Teenagers are twised. They do not want you to know what is going on, but they do want you to care. And they’ll always remember that you did.

I would also suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I’m not much into self-help books, but this one has some good perspective on personal mission statements. I only read the first three habits, but I liked what I read and much of it applies to your situation. The intro is a bit long and wordy, but get through it and you start on the first habit, it makes sense.

Sometimes it is best to set plans for the future based on “what kind of person do I want to be” rather than “what do I want to own” or “how do I want to end up”

Life is 100% made up of “how you spend your time” Changing your bucket list focus to “what do I want to be doing with my time” from “what do I want to get out of it” can help make the passing years more fun.

[sdduuuude]

I’d suggest looking forward instead of looking back.

Nothing so bad has happened that you can’t change to make the next phase better.

I’d suggest adjusting that bucket list, make plans for the future. If you feel like you don’t have anyting to live for, then make something to live for.

Take a class in something or join a sports league.

I agree that excersise helps in many ways. Yoga has always seemed corny to me. I’d be the one giggling in the back, though martial arts could be a good substitute.

I’m not much for church. I did my time with 12 yrs of Catholic school. I find it as hollow a use of time as anything else.

It seems teenage kids always need external mentors to help them through things they don’t want their parents to know about. The best thing you can do there is don’t stop asking them to share their thoughts. Don’t stop encouraging them to excel. They may not respond in any way shape or form. Teenagers are twised. They do not want you to know what is going on, but they do want you to care. And they’ll always remember that you did.

I would also suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I’m not much into self-help books, but this one has some good perspective on personal mission statements. I only read the first three habits, but I liked what I read and much of it applies to your situation. The intro is a bit long and wordy, but get through it and you start on the first habit, it makes sense.

Sometimes it is best to set plans for the future based on “what kind of person do I want to be” rather than “what do I want to own” or “how do I want to end up”

Life is 100% made up of “how you spend your time” Changing your bucket list focus to “what do I want to be doing with my time” from “what do I want to get out of it” can help make the passing years more fun.

[sdduuuude]

I’d suggest looking forward instead of looking back.

Nothing so bad has happened that you can’t change to make the next phase better.

I’d suggest adjusting that bucket list, make plans for the future. If you feel like you don’t have anyting to live for, then make something to live for.

Take a class in something or join a sports league.

I agree that excersise helps in many ways. Yoga has always seemed corny to me. I’d be the one giggling in the back, though martial arts could be a good substitute.

I’m not much for church. I did my time with 12 yrs of Catholic school. I find it as hollow a use of time as anything else.

It seems teenage kids always need external mentors to help them through things they don’t want their parents to know about. The best thing you can do there is don’t stop asking them to share their thoughts. Don’t stop encouraging them to excel. They may not respond in any way shape or form. Teenagers are twised. They do not want you to know what is going on, but they do want you to care. And they’ll always remember that you did.

I would also suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I’m not much into self-help books, but this one has some good perspective on personal mission statements. I only read the first three habits, but I liked what I read and much of it applies to your situation. The intro is a bit long and wordy, but get through it and you start on the first habit, it makes sense.

Sometimes it is best to set plans for the future based on “what kind of person do I want to be” rather than “what do I want to own” or “how do I want to end up”

Life is 100% made up of “how you spend your time” Changing your bucket list focus to “what do I want to be doing with my time” from “what do I want to get out of it” can help make the passing years more fun.

[sdduuuude]

I’d suggest looking forward instead of looking back.

Nothing so bad has happened that you can’t change to make the next phase better.

I’d suggest adjusting that bucket list, make plans for the future. If you feel like you don’t have anyting to live for, then make something to live for.

Take a class in something or join a sports league.

I agree that excersise helps in many ways. Yoga has always seemed corny to me. I’d be the one giggling in the back, though martial arts could be a good substitute.

I’m not much for church. I did my time with 12 yrs of Catholic school. I find it as hollow a use of time as anything else.

It seems teenage kids always need external mentors to help them through things they don’t want their parents to know about. The best thing you can do there is don’t stop asking them to share their thoughts. Don’t stop encouraging them to excel. They may not respond in any way shape or form. Teenagers are twised. They do not want you to know what is going on, but they do want you to care. And they’ll always remember that you did.

I would also suggest reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” I’m not much into self-help books, but this one has some good perspective on personal mission statements. I only read the first three habits, but I liked what I read and much of it applies to your situation. The intro is a bit long and wordy, but get through it and you start on the first habit, it makes sense.

Sometimes it is best to set plans for the future based on “what kind of person do I want to be” rather than “what do I want to own” or “how do I want to end up”

Life is 100% made up of “how you spend your time” Changing your bucket list focus to “what do I want to be doing with my time” from “what do I want to get out of it” can help make the passing years more fun.

[sdduuuude]

[quote=citydweller]…yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you … [/quote]

There’s a big difference between imparting wisdom to someone who hasn’t asked for your advice, and imparting wisdom on someone who has. The first is annoying. The second, helpful.

He asked and you responded. No need for concern there.

Oh crap. But you didn’t ask me and I tried to impart my so-called wisdom on you.

{Chris Farley Hitting Head}Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.{Chris Farley Hitting Head}

[sdduuuude]

[quote=citydweller]…yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you … [/quote]

There’s a big difference between imparting wisdom to someone who hasn’t asked for your advice, and imparting wisdom on someone who has. The first is annoying. The second, helpful.

He asked and you responded. No need for concern there.

Oh crap. But you didn’t ask me and I tried to impart my so-called wisdom on you.

{Chris Farley Hitting Head}Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.{Chris Farley Hitting Head}

[sdduuuude]

[quote=citydweller]…yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you … [/quote]

There’s a big difference between imparting wisdom to someone who hasn’t asked for your advice, and imparting wisdom on someone who has. The first is annoying. The second, helpful.

He asked and you responded. No need for concern there.

Oh crap. But you didn’t ask me and I tried to impart my so-called wisdom on you.

{Chris Farley Hitting Head}Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.{Chris Farley Hitting Head}

[sdduuuude]

[quote=citydweller]…yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you … [/quote]

There’s a big difference between imparting wisdom to someone who hasn’t asked for your advice, and imparting wisdom on someone who has. The first is annoying. The second, helpful.

He asked and you responded. No need for concern there.

Oh crap. But you didn’t ask me and I tried to impart my so-called wisdom on you.

{Chris Farley Hitting Head}Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.{Chris Farley Hitting Head}

[sdduuuude]

[quote=citydweller]…yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you … [/quote]

There’s a big difference between imparting wisdom to someone who hasn’t asked for your advice, and imparting wisdom on someone who has. The first is annoying. The second, helpful.

He asked and you responded. No need for concern there.

Oh crap. But you didn’t ask me and I tried to impart my so-called wisdom on you.

{Chris Farley Hitting Head}Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.{Chris Farley Hitting Head}

[Anonymous]

The common thread here of discontent is that when you look within, you aren’t finding much to keep you thrilled. Depression, real or not, is exactly that.

And the solution is often to look outside yourself, instead of within. Not for answers to your conundrum (because that’s actually looking back within), but to become more selfless.

I suggest you travel to the third world and get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

The common thread here of discontent is that when you look within, you aren’t finding much to keep you thrilled. Depression, real or not, is exactly that.

And the solution is often to look outside yourself, instead of within. Not for answers to your conundrum (because that’s actually looking back within), but to become more selfless.

I suggest you travel to the third world and get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

The common thread here of discontent is that when you look within, you aren’t finding much to keep you thrilled. Depression, real or not, is exactly that.

And the solution is often to look outside yourself, instead of within. Not for answers to your conundrum (because that’s actually looking back within), but to become more selfless.

I suggest you travel to the third world and get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

The common thread here of discontent is that when you look within, you aren’t finding much to keep you thrilled. Depression, real or not, is exactly that.

And the solution is often to look outside yourself, instead of within. Not for answers to your conundrum (because that’s actually looking back within), but to become more selfless.

I suggest you travel to the third world and get some perspective.

[Author]

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