OT – Feelings of Melancholy, Life Plans Going Forward

[bearishgurl]

[quote=citydweller]One of the biggest changes in my thinking that has brought me peace of mind is the realization that it is not my job to ensure that others are happy. Nor is it my job to impart my “wisdom” to others on how to live their lives (yes, I do see the irony considering that I am now trying to impart my so-called wisdom to you). I cannot over emphasize what a feeling of relief it was to no longer feel that it was my responsibility to “fix” everyone else.

Just relax and realize that life is really quite simple. All you have to do is show up. You do not need to impress anyone (even yourself). If you are breathing you are living, it doesn’t get any more simple than that.[/quote]

Well put, citydweller. I have a co-dependent streak which I have to fight off. It took me a long while to realize that other adults need to go down whatever road they must, BY THEMSELVES, to figure out how to proceed with a problem. There’s really no need for “bearishgurl, the coach” or “Cabal, the go-to person” to be constantly in the background picking up the pieces.

This applies to a lesser extent to teenagers and those 18-30 year olds who already “know it all.” But we need to be there for them if/when they seek our counsel.

Exc. advice.

[gtaylor5]

Cabal,

Everything you wrote..been there and done that…
You do not mention your age and marital situation, however, what you describe is something I too, struggled with for quite awhile. My doctors thought due to a severe car accident the body does go through changes..I asked them to check my testosterone levels, almost zero…twice a month a shot in my back side has improved my overall wellbeing feeling…Dont wait, it is a simple blood test and most doctors do not agree with the treatment…so demand it as this hormone controls the absorption of proteins into your cells.
You will feel better.
You are a very articulate individual and I, for one, would appreciate friends such as yourself.
Regards,
Greg Taylor

[gtaylor5]

Cabal,

Everything you wrote..been there and done that…
You do not mention your age and marital situation, however, what you describe is something I too, struggled with for quite awhile. My doctors thought due to a severe car accident the body does go through changes..I asked them to check my testosterone levels, almost zero…twice a month a shot in my back side has improved my overall wellbeing feeling…Dont wait, it is a simple blood test and most doctors do not agree with the treatment…so demand it as this hormone controls the absorption of proteins into your cells.
You will feel better.
You are a very articulate individual and I, for one, would appreciate friends such as yourself.
Regards,
Greg Taylor

[gtaylor5]

Cabal,

Everything you wrote..been there and done that…
You do not mention your age and marital situation, however, what you describe is something I too, struggled with for quite awhile. My doctors thought due to a severe car accident the body does go through changes..I asked them to check my testosterone levels, almost zero…twice a month a shot in my back side has improved my overall wellbeing feeling…Dont wait, it is a simple blood test and most doctors do not agree with the treatment…so demand it as this hormone controls the absorption of proteins into your cells.
You will feel better.
You are a very articulate individual and I, for one, would appreciate friends such as yourself.
Regards,
Greg Taylor

[gtaylor5]

Cabal,

Everything you wrote..been there and done that…
You do not mention your age and marital situation, however, what you describe is something I too, struggled with for quite awhile. My doctors thought due to a severe car accident the body does go through changes..I asked them to check my testosterone levels, almost zero…twice a month a shot in my back side has improved my overall wellbeing feeling…Dont wait, it is a simple blood test and most doctors do not agree with the treatment…so demand it as this hormone controls the absorption of proteins into your cells.
You will feel better.
You are a very articulate individual and I, for one, would appreciate friends such as yourself.
Regards,
Greg Taylor

[gtaylor5]

Cabal,

Everything you wrote..been there and done that…
You do not mention your age and marital situation, however, what you describe is something I too, struggled with for quite awhile. My doctors thought due to a severe car accident the body does go through changes..I asked them to check my testosterone levels, almost zero…twice a month a shot in my back side has improved my overall wellbeing feeling…Dont wait, it is a simple blood test and most doctors do not agree with the treatment…so demand it as this hormone controls the absorption of proteins into your cells.
You will feel better.
You are a very articulate individual and I, for one, would appreciate friends such as yourself.
Regards,
Greg Taylor

[svelte]

Sounds to me like you need something to get excited about again.

Surely there is something out there that really lights your fire…the trick is to find that something.

I’ve only gone through one real down period in my life. What worked for me was eliminating the negatives in my life, and seeking out positive things to replace them. It worked. It took time, but it worked.

I did so much slashing from and adding to my life in that period, I scared the s**t out of my wife.

Others have pointed out physical things you may want to check out, in case that’s what’s causing your current predicament.

Or maybe, as others have also pointed out, you just need to relax and enjoy what you’ve got.

Life is too short to be caught up in a funk. Good luck and hope you pull out soon.

[svelte]

Sounds to me like you need something to get excited about again.

Surely there is something out there that really lights your fire…the trick is to find that something.

I’ve only gone through one real down period in my life. What worked for me was eliminating the negatives in my life, and seeking out positive things to replace them. It worked. It took time, but it worked.

I did so much slashing from and adding to my life in that period, I scared the s**t out of my wife.

Others have pointed out physical things you may want to check out, in case that’s what’s causing your current predicament.

Or maybe, as others have also pointed out, you just need to relax and enjoy what you’ve got.

Life is too short to be caught up in a funk. Good luck and hope you pull out soon.

[svelte]

Sounds to me like you need something to get excited about again.

Surely there is something out there that really lights your fire…the trick is to find that something.

I’ve only gone through one real down period in my life. What worked for me was eliminating the negatives in my life, and seeking out positive things to replace them. It worked. It took time, but it worked.

I did so much slashing from and adding to my life in that period, I scared the s**t out of my wife.

Others have pointed out physical things you may want to check out, in case that’s what’s causing your current predicament.

Or maybe, as others have also pointed out, you just need to relax and enjoy what you’ve got.

Life is too short to be caught up in a funk. Good luck and hope you pull out soon.

[svelte]

Sounds to me like you need something to get excited about again.

Surely there is something out there that really lights your fire…the trick is to find that something.

I’ve only gone through one real down period in my life. What worked for me was eliminating the negatives in my life, and seeking out positive things to replace them. It worked. It took time, but it worked.

I did so much slashing from and adding to my life in that period, I scared the s**t out of my wife.

Others have pointed out physical things you may want to check out, in case that’s what’s causing your current predicament.

Or maybe, as others have also pointed out, you just need to relax and enjoy what you’ve got.

Life is too short to be caught up in a funk. Good luck and hope you pull out soon.

[svelte]

Sounds to me like you need something to get excited about again.

Surely there is something out there that really lights your fire…the trick is to find that something.

I’ve only gone through one real down period in my life. What worked for me was eliminating the negatives in my life, and seeking out positive things to replace them. It worked. It took time, but it worked.

I did so much slashing from and adding to my life in that period, I scared the s**t out of my wife.

Others have pointed out physical things you may want to check out, in case that’s what’s causing your current predicament.

Or maybe, as others have also pointed out, you just need to relax and enjoy what you’ve got.

Life is too short to be caught up in a funk. Good luck and hope you pull out soon.

[bob2007]

I have known people get this way when they are in a “comfortable” situation. Lets take the case of a person with good, but not over-achieving, skills at earning money, solving problems, and planning. After 25 years he has built quite a nice and comfortable life. No problems with food, housing, savings, traveled, and no major family issues. Insulated from most of the bad stuff, but also the experiences that tend to bring people together and build friendships.

Now where is the challenge that makes a person happy to be alive and have a feeling of accomplishment? Because he is “comfortable”, a major life style move is a big hurdle because it may put the whole comfortable lifestyle at risk. In other words, not a big deal at 25 or 30, but a much bigger deal at 50. If he screws up, getting back to where he was might never happen.

Everyone gets an opinion, and mine is that I don’t agree with exercise, deep breathing, zen, religion, yada yada yada. So half way to bitch slap: if you have achieved comfortable, those things probably won’t help (at least they don’t help me). You have the ability to achieve significant things, but at the moment you choose not to, so you feel like crap. It doesn’t sit well when we know there are people struggling and would do anything to be in your shoes, but there it is.

P.S. TG’s decade old margeaux with some friends would definitely be at least a short term picker-upper.

[bob2007]

I have known people get this way when they are in a “comfortable” situation. Lets take the case of a person with good, but not over-achieving, skills at earning money, solving problems, and planning. After 25 years he has built quite a nice and comfortable life. No problems with food, housing, savings, traveled, and no major family issues. Insulated from most of the bad stuff, but also the experiences that tend to bring people together and build friendships.

Now where is the challenge that makes a person happy to be alive and have a feeling of accomplishment? Because he is “comfortable”, a major life style move is a big hurdle because it may put the whole comfortable lifestyle at risk. In other words, not a big deal at 25 or 30, but a much bigger deal at 50. If he screws up, getting back to where he was might never happen.

Everyone gets an opinion, and mine is that I don’t agree with exercise, deep breathing, zen, religion, yada yada yada. So half way to bitch slap: if you have achieved comfortable, those things probably won’t help (at least they don’t help me). You have the ability to achieve significant things, but at the moment you choose not to, so you feel like crap. It doesn’t sit well when we know there are people struggling and would do anything to be in your shoes, but there it is.

P.S. TG’s decade old margeaux with some friends would definitely be at least a short term picker-upper.

[bob2007]

I have known people get this way when they are in a “comfortable” situation. Lets take the case of a person with good, but not over-achieving, skills at earning money, solving problems, and planning. After 25 years he has built quite a nice and comfortable life. No problems with food, housing, savings, traveled, and no major family issues. Insulated from most of the bad stuff, but also the experiences that tend to bring people together and build friendships.

Now where is the challenge that makes a person happy to be alive and have a feeling of accomplishment? Because he is “comfortable”, a major life style move is a big hurdle because it may put the whole comfortable lifestyle at risk. In other words, not a big deal at 25 or 30, but a much bigger deal at 50. If he screws up, getting back to where he was might never happen.

Everyone gets an opinion, and mine is that I don’t agree with exercise, deep breathing, zen, religion, yada yada yada. So half way to bitch slap: if you have achieved comfortable, those things probably won’t help (at least they don’t help me). You have the ability to achieve significant things, but at the moment you choose not to, so you feel like crap. It doesn’t sit well when we know there are people struggling and would do anything to be in your shoes, but there it is.

P.S. TG’s decade old margeaux with some friends would definitely be at least a short term picker-upper.

[bob2007]

I have known people get this way when they are in a “comfortable” situation. Lets take the case of a person with good, but not over-achieving, skills at earning money, solving problems, and planning. After 25 years he has built quite a nice and comfortable life. No problems with food, housing, savings, traveled, and no major family issues. Insulated from most of the bad stuff, but also the experiences that tend to bring people together and build friendships.

Now where is the challenge that makes a person happy to be alive and have a feeling of accomplishment? Because he is “comfortable”, a major life style move is a big hurdle because it may put the whole comfortable lifestyle at risk. In other words, not a big deal at 25 or 30, but a much bigger deal at 50. If he screws up, getting back to where he was might never happen.

Everyone gets an opinion, and mine is that I don’t agree with exercise, deep breathing, zen, religion, yada yada yada. So half way to bitch slap: if you have achieved comfortable, those things probably won’t help (at least they don’t help me). You have the ability to achieve significant things, but at the moment you choose not to, so you feel like crap. It doesn’t sit well when we know there are people struggling and would do anything to be in your shoes, but there it is.

P.S. TG’s decade old margeaux with some friends would definitely be at least a short term picker-upper.

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