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North County Native
ParticipantMy husband and I are considering Austin (Bee Cave looks like a nice place). He is an IT guy as well. We are still here so he can get his Masters degree and then we’ll move on. Pretty soon we will have 3 kids and we’d like to move into a house someday……
The one thing about Texas that scares me is the tornados! If I weren’t so scared of those things, we’d probably be there already! We really like Utah and Colorado as well. At least with Utah there aren’t any tornados but they have earthquakes there too!At this point we’ve realized that finding a home we can afford and having the quality of life and allowing me to continue staying home with the kids will require us to move. Too bad almost all of our family is here though 🙁
ParticipantI agree that pine trees are not the best choice, especially since Southern California has a HUGE problem with the Pine Bark Beetle (It eats the trees and dries them out). Perhaps they should’ve thought about the fire risk before they were planted and made a better choice. Were the developers even thinking about how the property was consumed by the Harmony Grove fire? It looked like a moonscape for a couple of years afterward!
The two acres I grew up on in Vista had quite a few pine trees. My dad used to talk about them being tinder and one of my chores was to clean up the needles underneath. It was just a fact of life. After we started getting those dumb beetles and the trees started to die, my dad got out his chainsaw and cut them down. He made sure to do this on an overcast morning and would never think of doing it on a hot, dry day.
I do think that the lady is being a total snob about the view. So what – she’ll miss her tiny little sliver of ocean view????!!! Big deal! Trees do grow! Just go to the beach and get the full effect of the ocean view at the beach!!!!!
One thing my husband and I agree on is that we would not want to be in SEH with a fire approaching. Imagine trying to evacuate all of those people out through San Elijo Road to the west or Harmony Grove road to the east! It would be a nightmare! Even when Twin Oaks goes through in the northern part, it still would be hard to evacuate.
I’ll never forget watching the Harmony Grove fire from San Marcos (off of via Vera Cruz while waiting to find out if our relatives home needed to be evacuated). It moved so incredibly fast. You can still the line in the trees where the fire stopped in the hills above (to the South east) Lake San Marcos.
Maybe that lady should get a chainsaw and just cut the trees down herself. If she does it when the neighbors aren’t home, who would know?
ParticipantThe house has closed escrow! Too late! We were all faking our enthusiasm today. Oh well! I’ll let you know how things are going a year from now……..
ParticipantDon’t worrry – my husband and I have no sympathy! We are in no position to loan them any money and won’t ever loan money to anybody. We know that it is a train wreck waiting to happen. We are just standing by and watching….. scratching our heads.
As far as why he married her — She got pregnant and he tried to do the right thing. Its a sad situation.
ParticipantI’m sort of in a similar situation right now. I tried to keep the budget as a stay at home mom but it became impossible the last few years of my husband going to college. We took out student loans but it was too little, too late. Here’s what it looked liked last week – $18,000 on credit cards, $15,000 in student loans. Our student loan payment is fine – $125 a month. I only wish that we had taken out another $15,000 in student loans. It would’ve saved a lot of grief.
I went online to http://www.oprah.com to see what kind of worksheets Oprah had on reducing debt. Search for “debt diet” and you will find these worksheets. I’ve also read a couple of books about how to get out of debt. I checked them out of the library so I can’t remember what the titles were.
After using the worksheets and discussing things with my husband, we applied for a 0% card for the next year. We each got one and he is actually going to call today to see if his credit line can be raised since they only gave him $2500 and gave me $4500. We transferred half of a balance of one of the major cards to my card. We paid off the remainder of the balance of that major card with our tax return. Next he is going to balance transfer whatever amount he can to his 0% card (again, depending on what they can offer as far as a credit increase).
I had recieved one of those notices that my interest on my card with $6700 was going to skyrocket soon from 13% to 30% if I didn’t opt out of the changes. I called and asked how I could opt out. We aren’t using any of the cards anymore so when they told me all I had to do was close the account to freeze the interest rate – I said “Sure!” So now that account if closed and I just have to keep making payments on it until its paid off. We are hoping to transfer this one to his 0% card. We also have a couple of department store cards that were up to $1000 each. My husband recieved a pay increase that was issued in a single check and retroactive for a few months. Instead of spending that money on something we want we paid off half of one of the department store cards.
Now we are down to $13,500 in credit card debt. We won’t be paying interest on at least $6500 for the next year.I wanted to help more with things so when my brother-in-law had a childcare crisis, I decided to step in and help. I didn’t really want to but seeing that we are having our 3rd child soon, I wanted to be able to make a bigger dent in the department store cards – especially since those were the cards that I didn’t have to use and caused the biggest contention in our family because they were items not needed as much. So now I’m paying off that card with the income from watching my nephew. By the time the baby is born, these cards will be paid off and the leftover money is going to buy a new carseat and stroller and whatever else we may need (I know that I don’t need a ton of junk – it is our 3rd kid and I will not get caught up in marketing!). So we will be down to $12,000 in debt in a few months.
I think some counseling and soul searching for your relatives would be good. What I finally realized is that our debt was so crushing that it was the root of all of our arguments! The minimum payments that would pay down only a few dollars a month on the highest cards were totally ridiculous! We want something better for our family and what I’ve learned is that you can’t buy before you have the money. I also don’t really want to watch my nephew because its time that I should be spending with my son while my daughter is at school. Pretty soon he’ll be having to share my time with a baby too and I deeply regret that I have to share my time with him and my nephew right now. That alone is enough for me to want to watch what we spend from now on.
You’ve got to tap into what is important to them! Do they really want to work for years and years when they could be retirees having some fun?So My husband and I have this plan and we are sticking to it! We will have 3 kids in the backseat of the car until the baby is at least a year old. In 16 months I will have all of the credit cards and the car paid off! All that will be left is the student loan which is just fine. I even think that I don’t want to rush back into having a car payment again so I might not get that minivan until a few years from now. Its a luxury – not a necessity (until I have 4 kids – LOL!)
I hope this can help you. It is possible to pay off debt. My husband and I are doing that on his entry level (he graduated in May) professional salary while I stay home – with almost 3 children! He will also be heading back to school for his M.S. in the fall. Luckily he gets free tuition since he works for the university!
Good luck to your family! They can do it!
ParticipantI have to agree with you that people here consume themselves into poverty. I live in “affordable” housing and we got here while my husband was still in college. It is a very nice apartment in a very nice are. Today I went in to the manager’s office to ask her a question. She explained to me that 131 people paid rent today – LATE!!! She was frantically writing out reciepts. As we spoke, one more person came in and paid his rent late. She remarked to me that the majority of people pay the rent late (there are only 170 something apartments and not all are occupied right now) but of course they won’t pay the fancy car payment late! Some of the rents are as low as $300 and they can’t pay it on time!!!! You should see our dumpsters the day after Christmas!!!!! Some of these families spare no expense and buy the kids some very pricey items. Does a kid in elementary school need an IPOD? I’m talking real IPOD – not generic.
For us, this is just a stepping stone. We now have the chance to pay off our debts from my husband going to college. We don’t have cable T.V. because we don’t really need it and my parents pay for our cell phones because they think its important for us to have one. We are paying for the internet as it is something that he needs for his job.
Now that it is tax season – I’m sure that soon there will be adds on T.V. saying ,”Come to ____________ and spend your tax return here!” Similar to an ad campaign that Home Depot or Lowes had a couple of years ago. Since I don’t have T.V. I won’t be seeing these adds but others that do just get it in their heads to go spend, spend, spend!
We got our tax return and plunked most of it into paying off one of our larger balance credit cards. We are planning to do the same next year and we should have all of our debt paid off within 16 months. In this case, affordable housing is doing something to help us out and then when we are ready to move on – WE WILL!!!!! Some of my neighbors will be here forever. Those are the same neighbors that are shocked that we go without the finer things in life.
It takes a sacrifice to get ahead and many people just have not had that taught to them by their own parents or they just don’t care. Its very sad for me to see that a lot of these kids that are my neighbors will wind up in the same situation that their parents are in. Maybe schools should teach kids more about how to get the most out of money. Every time I get a credit card bill, I cringe at the interest I have to pay! To some people it is just a fact of life and they don’t even realize that it works the other way – that we can save and earn interest ourselves. I’m looking forward to the time when our money works for us and every time I pay something else off – I’m delighted!ParticipantI agree! There are those women (and men) who are spoiled and think they can do whatever they want! He doesn’t really want to be the enabler but everytime he tries to put his foot down, she threatens to take the kids and move back to Mexico (as if she’d have it as good back where she came from). I don’t understand how she lived such a sad lifestyle there but expects to have it all here! I’m from here and know that I can’t have it all!
ParticipantWho is buying? I’ll give you an example of who in my family is buying and shouldn’t be.
My brother-in-law and his wife should just rent. Oh no – the wife can’t handle that! She wants to own! He is fine with renting but can’t talk her into it. They are closing escrow on a house in Vista this week. Its an older home (I think 30 years old) and needs quite a bit of work. She is very secretive about what kind of loan and terms it has. I guess they figure that it isn’t our business (It really isn’t) What he has told us is that the mortgage will be over $4000 a month. They have 2 small children and now will be having daycare costs since she is now having to work in order to support the house payment. She has hardly any work experience and has taken a few college classes so she is working in retail making minimum wage. He is a professional however his industry has had lay offs and he was laid off late last year and has been at his new job for only a couple of months.
We are very worried that they are getting in over their heads. What if he gets laid off again soon? She is also absolutely ignorant about daycare costs and doesn’t want to pay someone what it is worth. Who will end up raising her kids? He doesn’t have much say in any of it. She wants what she wants and gets it. She also seems to get into petty disputes with her neighbors and probably will want to sell again as soon as they glance at her the wrong way.
She has absolutely no knowledge of how the RE market works but thinks she knows it better than anyone – including her husband! She is buying in a panic that thinks that she has to buy now or else she never can! She thinks that if you are a renter that somehow you are less important in the world. We’ve all tried to talk some sense into her and we’ve all given up!
My husband tells me all of the time how thankful he is that I’m not begging him to buy us a home right now. I’m thankful for my nice, 3 bedroom affordable apartment and that I can stay home with the kids. We’ll get to a home someday but I’m not in a hurry to buy! Also, since my husband is new in his career, we know that he might have a great job offer in another area and it would be so easy to pick up and move as renters. Sure, I’m itching to move out of our home soon since we are having a third child soon but I don’t want to pay hundreds of dollars extra just to rent a house with a yard (or thousands to buy) when we can just go play at the nice parks nearby. Its too bad that we couldn’t talk them out of this purchase!
ParticipantI have a great deal!
I rent a 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment for $494 a month! Its in a very nice neighborhood with an excellent elementry school down the street. We had to get on a loooooooong waiting list to get in here but it was well worth the wait! We will not move out of here until we have a huge downpayment for a house (a few years yet). I don’t really like apartment living but I have a great unit, lots of great neighbors and one bad one but overall we can save $$$$. We would’ve left the state (and our families) if we had not gotten in here when we did.ParticipantI would never live in the Richmar area neigborhood of San Marcos. I wouldn’t even take a walk over there – bordering from the Post office to the east, San Marcos Blvd to the South and Knoll Road to the West – not sure how far it goes to the north. It looks a lot nicer than 10 years ago however, that is where a lot of the gang activity is. Sure, they put in that nice School District building on Pico but it sure is in a bad part of town!
I’d say Discovery Hills. SEH is too far from everything! I think SEH is cute but I sure think the prices are way too much!
We rent in DH but would like to buy here in the future.Discovery Elementary is a good school. San Marcos Elementary (In the Richmar area) is an awful excuse for a school. A lot of our Discovery teachers and our principal were transfered over to San Marcos Elementary and we got their principal and some of the teachers from San Marcos. A lot of parents are upset about it however, I think the biggest reason San Marcos Elementary has such low scores is primarily because most of the kids there know very little English and they might not have much support in the parental department.
ParticipantMy daughter’s school has discontinued food rewards! (San Marcos School District) At first it seemed a little bit extreme – no treats for class parties etc….. I do think it is a wonderful idea now. She has quite a few overweight kids in her 1st grade class. If my child was one of them, I’d be very uncomfortable with wondering what treats she was going to come home with after every holiday or birthday party.
At home, we have severely limited our kids to junk food and occasionally the grandmas indulge them (isn’t that what grandmas do?) At 25 I found out that I had too high bad cholesterol and too low good cholesterol. I had to make a change fast! One of the things I did was incorporating more fish into our diet and we rarely eat meat with more than 7% fat. My kids look forward to Salmon and spinach night (they are 3 and 5).
I also have pre-diabetes even though I don’t appear obese. I grew up eating the typical american diet, which has seemingly become even more unhealthy. I was not overweight at all as a teenager. I ate whatever I wanted and developed bad habits. I don’t want my children to eat junk primarily because I don’t want them to develop these bad habits and also develop pre-diabetes at a young age. My dad found out that he had diabetes at 40 and is in very good control of it. His father had it as well and ultimately died an earlier death due to the complications he had when he didn’t take good care of myself. My doctor did give me kudos and mentioned that if I was still just eating the typical american diet and not exercising much, I’d be one of his morbidly obese patients weighing in at 300 pounds! I just have to be very careful –
I’m very very happy that our school is trying harder to reward the kids in other ways however, I do believe that the lunch program needs a complete overhaul. Its not as gross as the stuff we had as kids but its still not healthy.
Also I’ve lived in an apartment for quite awhile and it is culture shock to me!!!! Many parents are never outside playing with the kids! Whenever my kids are outside, I’m right there with them. We have to go play! What are their parents doing? Especially the ones who have 1 parent home all day? We walk a lot and play at the many neighborhood parks.
Sodas are also a huge problem! I grew up drinking a coke every evening. As an adult I switched to diet to avoid the calories and sugar. My husband kept telling me that it still wasn’t good for me. My well intentioned mother in law would argue with me that real sugary soda is better for you than diet. I’d argue back that the sugar would definately cause me to become a diabetic sooner! Well, we were both a right and wrong because it is all bad!!!! I went to an ear, nose, throat doctor because I kept loosing my voice for no reason. I have nodules on my vocal cords,probably caused by reflux! He gave me some pills to take and suggested cutting out all caffeine and as much carbonation as possible. I took him very very seriously about the carbonation. I’ve saved a ton of money in the last month from not buying it, lost 10 pounds and I haven’t even tried those pills! I feel great! My husband sat in disbelief as I ordered water the other day at a restaurant! Some studies also lead you to believe that drinking any soda will make you want to eat more with it. I believe it.Participant9 women, all early 30’s and late 20’s – all said not to buy – no way!
Participantpowayseller,
Okay, you summed it up. My parents are still married so I have no idea what that would be like.Everyone here does seem nice. I’ve learned a lot from this website and hopefully I’ll learn more. I guess I just had one of those “mother hen” type of moments. 🙂
ParticipantI knew that our population growth would be flat or declining but I didn’t think about the immigrants coming into the country, getting amnesty and keeping social security alive.
Interesting….
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