[flyer]

Interesting clarification–dumbrenter.

I agree that cultivating excellence in all things, and being very connected to your kids lives is a wonderful way to raise kids. Truly the way we tried to raise our kids (who are now in their 20’s and successful) as did most of our friends.

Everyone hopes their kids will achieve their dreams, but, from what we’ve seen, many of our kids peers–actually over 50% of our kids friends–although raised in ways one could almost call “perfect,” by the standards we’ve discussed here, are still struggling to find their place in the world, and are far from self-sufficent.
Therin lies the enigma.

Perhaps it simply proves that real life does not come with a 100% guarantee!!

[flyer]

Totally agree that as long as your kids are living the lives they want to live (and that goes for all of us)–that’s all that matters–as long as they can eventually support themselves. My point was that, many parenting roads do not necessarily seem to be leading to that destination–from what we’ve seen with many of the kids our kids grew up with.

Also agree that college is not the end all be all. We know pilots who have made over $200K/yr. for many years, as we did, who never went to college, but they did find a niche in which to support themselves and their families. (That, along with investment properties, and franchises, as flu mentioned.)

[flyer]

Really interesting to hear what’s going on out there at this point in time. The stories don’t really surprise me, and I do feel sorry for the kids.

When I hear about “tiger parenting” or “entitlement parenting” I just hope these kids are also being made aware that their lives may not go as scripted, and are being taught how to cope with “real life.” You can raise a child to perfection within a controlled environment, but that is not the real world.

Our kids had everything, but we made sure they also knew that even with all of their “entitlements” there would still be a day when they would become responsible for their own lives, and made them aware of the realities of coping with real-life situations. Perhaps that’s one reason they’ve all done very well.

The most astounding thing to my wife and I, is the extremely high percentage of kids my kids knew, from many backgrounds–including those who were extremely entitled–who have not found their niche in life and cannot support themselves after college. At that point, their parents must REALLY be wondering what went wrong along the way.

[flyer]

Another example of how one of the “wild cards” of life can hit you at any age. Sorry to hear about that. Have heard many stories of people losing it all at 50+ and never recovering–but that’s probably another thread.

With kids, just starting out, it really has to be a shocker if life doesn’t work out the way Mom and Dad promised it would–hence my belief in letting them know about the “real world” and how it could effect them–long before it becomes an issue in their lives.

As an example, we have many friends who, as flu mentioned, bragged about their kids perfection each and everytime we saw them for years and years.

Now that the kids are finished with college, and it’s time to face “real life,” they don’t even want to discuss them–because, apparently, things didn’t work out, and there’s nothing to brag about now. Sad.

[flyer]

“Only time will tell.” If you see her in ice skating competitions on TV, I guess her Mom’s efforts will have paid off.

Everyone thinks their kids are going to be “stars” at something. Our kids were into school, golf, tennis, baseball, football, basketball, ice skating, horseback riding, music, etc., etc., and excelled in all–and this was long before the “tiger parent” revolution.

Eventually they had to decide what they wanted to do in real life–and that’s when you know for sure if your parenting efforts have really paid off. They seemed to for our kids, because all are self-sufficient–in their desired professions.

Apart from all parental efforts, there are many “wild cards” in life, and from the real life examples I’ve seen, there appears to be about a 50/50 chance kids will achieve what they want to achieve and succeed in the “real world.”

[flyer]

Have a vintage Bulova Accutron Astronaut given to me by my Dad, who collected watches. Have tried many others, but always go back to this one. Old-fashioned or not, love the watch and the memories that go along with it.

[flyer]

flu–next time you find yourself in a conversation like that, you could casually mention to these “tiger parents,” that only time will tell how well their children will actually do in the “real world.”

Controlled family and school environments lend themselves to great accomplishments. When you throw in the wild card of the real world, sadly, many kids crash and burn because their parents did not prepare them for any circumstances beyond their control.

Having raised kids in a very competitive environment in RSF, and seeing how our kids and their friends actually turned out, I can tell you the stats on success are underwhelming.

Thankfully, our kids have done well–I believe, because, although we encouraged and rewarded peak performance in all things, we also raised them with a huge dose of reality.

A large percentage of their friends are definitely not living the lives of their dreams, so if I were the tiger moms and dads–I’d probably wait awhile to pop the champagne cork–at the very least until their kids get “the job” and buy “the house,” or whatever else defines success to them.

[flyer]

Glad to know the “young” are discovering the “secrets of life”–and I mean that sincerely.
(I should have noted per flu’s post.)

I’m about 20 years older than you guys, and I’m glad to look back and know I lived, and am living the life I wanted to live.

None of us get out of this world alive, so I’m a big believer in making the most of each day we’re given.

[flyer]

Agree these “nametags” we’ve been given to identify our various age groups are cringe-worthy, but, then again, they are just words. . .

Apparently sociologists and demographers have categorized us for many reasons in an effort to help us find out “who we really are,” and have, consequently, given marketers targeted ammunition to sell to us more effectively . Per usual, this sociological expertise is many times more about the buck than the brain.

Although I know this information gives us the opportunity to examine our past, and, perhaps, create a better future, I don’t think most of us give much thought to these stereotypes, and, instead, concentrate on living the lives we want to live.

[flyer]

Sounds like that could be a great plan for an “adventure seeking boomer.” Travel has always been one of our big things, but I would add that, as a boomer, keeping a homebase somewhere is probably also a good idea.

At some point, you’ll want to have an established lifestyle in case health and/or other issues arise.

A friend, who is also an airline pilot, is currently living with his family and flying out of Macau, but they kept their home in San Diego and leased it out, so they can still retire here in a few years.

[flyer]

Hi cabal.

Completely understand your thinking with regard to keeping the home in RSF, but it’s just what we want, and we do have lots of extended family and friends–not to mention kids who have kids–so we still need the space.

Also, the price was right 20+ years ago–when we were in our 30’s–and there’s no way we could even come close to matching it today in any other location.

Looks like you’ve received some wonderful suggestions here, and I wish you all of the best–and definitely check out La Costa–especially the more estabished neighborhoods.

[flyer]

As a word of encouragement to the OP, all of my family and my wife’s family retired here, with no problem. We’re in our 50’s and retired from the airlines. We have lots of investment properties and other consulting projects, plus family, etc., etc., that keep us busy, and we enjoy living in a place that has everything we want.

We’re in RSF and love it, and it sounds like you have received some great suggestions for possible locations in the price range noted. I particularly think La Costa might be a great fit.

As mentioned, it might be a bit difficult to get newer construction without HOA or MELLO, but there are certainly many options out there. Be sure to check out all zip codes of interest at sdlookup.com

It’s true that if you have to worry about money, whether you’re retired, young, old, or in-between, San Diego can be a difficult place to live the life you want to live. We’ve known many people–especially younger people–who have had to leave the state for financial reasons–but I don’t think that’s a problem for the OP.

Enjoy!!

[flyer]

Have a friend who checks our units, but doesn’t really take on any “customers” per se.

Another friend said they checked the BBB and used Perfect Heating and Air in Poway–perfectheatingandair.com. Apparently they have an “A” rating, which, I guess, is pretty hard to find in that business.

This is not an endorsement, as I, personally, haven’t had any contact with these folks, but it might be worth checking out, and/or you might want to search the San Diego BBB for other options.

[flyer]

That stuff is incredible, flu. Sad, but incredible.

Sorry to say that driving in CA has really become a contact sport, and all we can all try to do is to stay safe.

Happy 4th Everyone!!

[flyer]

OK, well I must be an exception to the rule, ’cause I drive the Porsche sometimes, but don’t tailgate or speed.

I might have been guilty of these offenses in my younger years, but, now that I’m in my 50’s I think I’ve matured–actually I’ve never tailgated. Guess I would rather get my adrenaline rush from driving a jet.

[Author]

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