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I agree there is no right or wrong answer. Everyone should do whatever they want to do, and–as long as each person gets what they want in life–that’s all that matters.

As many of you have mentioned, I also believe happiness and fulfillment in life, along with strong family ties, are extremely important, and we’ve always tried to cultivate those aspects as well. In fact, the planning on the part of the grandparents on both sides of the family is what allowed all of their 20+ grandchildren to pursue whatever they chose.

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Agree it all depends on what career path your kids choose. As has been mentioned–for some careers, a degree from a particular university seems to make a difference–others–not so much.

Two of our kids wanted to be MD’s, and their Ivy degrees have worked out well for them. Not only are they doing what they love–saving people’s
lives–they are helping others who want to do the same. Both of them knew what they wanted to do from very early ages, and it’s been a very interesting and challenging journey for the whole family.

That’s not to say that MD’s who graduate from other schools are not doing well or making a valuable contribution to society, but I can only speak to my own kids experience.

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Excellent points, flu. Agree.

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I do believe connections and family support are extremely important, and do make a difference in our kids lives, but I can also tell you that, from my kids experience, (two of whom graduated Ivy) as well some of their friends who did also, their degrees have also heavily contributed to their success.

As was mentioned, attending schools like LJ Country Day, Bishop’s, etc., don’t hurt either, and, of course, many who attend other schools and colleges may do equally as well, but I can only speak from the experiences of my own kids and their friends.

Diplomas in and of themselves are just pieces of paper, but, when properly utilized, their practical value can translate into millions of dollars. That’s not to say a few won’t “make it” in the world without them, but the stats show those individuals are few and far between.

All of these decisions are predicated on what your kids want to do with their lives, and everyone can roll the dice for their kids as they choose, but in the “new world” of global competition, imo, kids need every advantage they can possibly get. As a friend commented on this topic, “Why send someone to war without weapons?”

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Sounds like you and your family are having a great time, FIH. It’s always fun to see CA and other destinations through the eyes of people who have never before visited a certain locale.

I agree that every location in the world has it’s pros and cons. Imho, if you have a choice of where you live, you have to decide what lifestyle elements are important to you and your family–and that’s a very individual decision.

We’ve visited and lived a lot of other places, but when it comes to home base, we can’t find anything we like more than CA, and, specifically San Diego.

We’ve seen a lot of people come and go from our fair state, not because they didn’t like it here, but because they (or their families) couldn’t sustain their preferred standard of living here, long-term. In the final analysis, I think that’s really what makes it or breaks it for many people.

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We feel the same about our location, scaredy. Know exactly what you mean.

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[quote=CA renter][quote=FlyerInHi]We went to the old spaghetti factory last night (bad food, never go there, but cheap and family oriented). Some kids running around In the restaurant were playing peek a boo with the guys. The mom didn’t mind but the dad clearly didn’t like it.[/quote]

I’m all for kids having freedoms, but they should have to earn their freedom by showing a sense of responsibility. Knowing how to behave in various venues is a big part of that. Personally, I hate it when kids run around screaming in restaurants. We started bringing our kids to restaurants when they were a few weeks old and taught them from day one how to behave. Not saying they are always perfect, but we’ve always gotten compliments from other patrons and servers/managers regarding their behavior, even at a very young age. We’ve never had any complaints or even gotten the evil stare from others, and we have two kids who had a difficult time with sitting still/managing different environments. If they acted up, we took them outside immediately. It was tough for awhile, but worked out well in the end.

It is NEVER acceptable to let one’s kid ruin another person’s night out. It might be that person’s only chance to get out in a month or so. It might be a very special occasion for them. Not okay to ruin that under any circumstances. We’ve been out with other families who never discipline their kids or teach them to be considerate of others. Not fun. This is a huge pet peeve of ours.[/quote]

So glad to hear that, CAr, because the way many parents today allow their kids to behave in public today astounds us.

Like you, we taught our kids to be respectful of others–wherever we went–including restaurants. My Dad used to say it wasn’t proper to “impose” on others–regardless of the circumstances–and, although he was probably overly strict with us, we all had genuine manners and concern for others, as our kids do.

I think, perhaps, the lack of manners today in people of all ages, stems from the way people were brought up, along with a false sense of entitlement that it’s OK to do whatever you want to do, regardless of how it effects others. IMO, if you don’t have respect for others–you really don’t have much respect for yourself–and that’s a sad way to live.

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I read an article about that–some of the parents are now facing investigation. From “helicopter” to “free range,” things definitely flucuate from one extreme to another in the parenting world.

We raised our kids in about the same way as we were raised, and, although these parenting styles had not yet been identified, it was probably a combo of “tiger” “helicopter” and “free range,” along with a few other nuances.

My wife and I, who are Boomers, and most of our friends, had moms who, although educated, chose to stay at home and/or work from home–as my wife did with writing, music and film–then branch out when the kids were older.

Life for all of us was about family, education, sports (mostly golf and tennis, along with some team sports) music, travel etc., etc. with little of the stress and pressure we see today.

Whatever the parenting styles, from the memories we all have, and the way things turned out, I don’t think any of us would change much about the way we were brought up in CA.

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Completely understand, BG–know the areas well. We have quite a few family members in Northern CA, from San Fran, north, who have been there for years, and have also seen the changes you are mentioning with regard to RE prices, etc.

Had their kids not purchased their homes in Sonoma, Napa, and even in Santa Rosa and Placerville, etc., etc., several years ago, they would have been priced out, as these, and other locations up there have become the destinations of choice for many of the SFO elite.

I wish you all of the best in finding what you are looking for, and I’m sure you will.

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As you, BG, we feel San Diego was a much nicer place to live in past years. Believe it or not, there was a time, when my wife and I were growing up here, that our families knew practically every other family in the entire city, and we’re very glad we had the opportunity to experience that amazing lifestyle.

Some say the growth San Diego has experienced is “progress,” and–because there’s no going back now–it’s take it or leave it. Although some of our friends have moved, (and we completely respect that choice) most have not, and, like us, they have decided to “take it,” and stay, because we feel we’re still living a better lifestyle here, than anyplace else we could live in the world, (water issues pending).

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Sadly, AN, I agree. I’m usually a very optimistic person, but, in this case, I think the state may be living on “borrowed time,”–waterwise–so, even though we can all do our best, unless some major changes are made, or naturally occur, Cali’s best days may be over.

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It will be interesting to see if what we’re all trying to do will be enough to preserve our state for future generations.

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“Lots of nice people here. Even nicer than Californians in some ways. Maybe it’s because people are forced together here, whereas they are able to live very remote, isolated lives on the west coast with all the car driving and more spread-out living arrangements. As a west-coaster, I’d always been a bit biased against east coasters because they’ve always seemed so much harsher than Californians, but we’ve been very pleasantly surprised by how helpful and friendly everyone is out here.”

Glad to hear you’re having a great trip, CAr. We’ve always enjoyed the east coast with all of the history, amazing architecture, and the great people. We visit friends and family in various states back there at least once a year, and always have a great time.

Very few of the people we know plan to relocate, and love where they are. Even though my wife has tried to get one of her best friends who is an author and has sold something like 500 million+ books, to move west, she and her family prefer east coast living.

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REDUCE WATER…AND CONTINUE BUILDING? HUH?

Global warming could make drought last decades
By Don Bauder, April 2, 2015

“Yesterday, Governor Jerry Brown imposed statewide mandatory water restrictions for the first time in history. He wants California’s water use slashed by 25 percent. He read off some horrifying statistics: the state’s snowpack is 5 percent of normal. In January of last year, Brown wanted water usage to drop 20 percent, but the state achieved only half that. From now on, college campuses, cemeteries, golf courses, etc. will have to use less water.

On the same day, a San Diego city councilman declared that a Mission Valley real estate development, including thousands of condos and apartments, a hotel, offices, and retailers could generate enough money to pay for a subsidized Chargers stadium. Did anybody ask if there would be enough water for the condos, apartments, hotel, offices, retailers — and stadium?

Meanwhile, the battle over One Paseo, a proposed 1.4 million-square foot Carmel Valley development (also condos, apartments, retailers, offices) — already approved by the city council — roared on. Courageous San Diegans are opposing this monstrosity — but their main argument is possible traffic jams, not water. In Los Angeles, there are plans for a huge development and football stadium in Inglewood, as well as more development downtown. Is anybody thinking about water?

Last fall, scientists from Cornell, the University of Arizona, and the United States Geological Survey published a study stating that because of global warming, the chances of the Southwestern United States experiencing a decade-long drought — are 50 percent. And the chance of a megadrought — one lasting up to 35 years — is 20 to 50 percent over the next century. And ponder this: among the most vulnerable metro areas, according to these scientists, is San Diego.

Yesterday’s New York Times quoted Michael Oppenheimer, a climate scientist at Princeton. Said he, commenting on the California drought: “The drought is made up of two components: not enough rain and too much heat. The rain deficit isn’t clearly connected to climate change, but the planetary warming has made it more likely that the weather will be hotter in California.”

Said the Times, “Warmer temperatures worsen drought by causing more evaporation from reservoirs, rivers, and soil. Scientists say that the warming trend makes it highly likely that California and other parts of the Western United States will have more severe droughts in the future.”

Yet, California’s state bird remains the High-Rise Crane. Development is going on everywhere. Governor Brown’s father, Gov. Pat Brown, wanted to attract people to California. Does his son feel that way? Still? How much scientific evidence does California need? How much evidence do the vulnerable cities, such as San Diego and Phoenix, need?

Isn’t it time for some long-term thinking? It’s nice to limit how much water one can get in a restaurant. But that is the proverbial drop in the bucket.”

Of course, the positions taken in this article may or may not prove to be true. Only time will tell, but the phrase, “Proceed at your own risk” does come to mind.

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