A safe neighborhood that we can afford?

[bearishgurl]

SK, you must know that it is tremendously hard to raise minor children on a $50-$60K salary in SD County, CA. That’s why, after re-reading the OP’s posts today, when she stated that she didn’t expect to work for at least ~20 years, I saw an opportunity to encourage her to get legal advice. Sorry if that doesn’t seem “PC” to some Piggs.

You can’t believe how many 50-65 yo (formerly solidly middle and upper-middle class) women I’ve assisted with domestic filings previously (thru attorneys I’ve contracted with) who were truly in financial dire straights because they didn’t have any current work experience (or any work experience at all)!

One particularly heartbreaking case was a 66-yo Chula Vista native (as was her spouse) who both moved up to WA state in their late 50’s and bought an A-frame retirement house for all cash in a very woodsy, “bucolic” area with an inheritance she got from her mom. During their 7-8 years there, he couldn’t keep steady work and she had never worked so they borrowed off the house to survive. Their house subsequently went into foreclosure and they subsisted on the rest of her inheritance. When the foreclosure sale notice was posted on their door, he left and moved back to the SD area to stay with his kids, got his old job back and filed for divorce after six months residence, during which time she was evicted from their home when it was foreclosed upon. She ended up having lifelong friends from HS drive up there in two pickups and move her all the way down here, put her stuff in storage and put her up for awhile so she could answer the divorce petition she had been served.

That case is just the tip of the iceberg.

One certainly can’t eat and live under their clothing, jewelry and vacation photos for the rest of their lives!

[SK in CV]

[quote=bearishgurl]SK, you must know that it is tremendously hard to raise minor children on a $50-$60K salary in SD County, CA. That’s why, after re-reading the OP’s posts today, when she stated that she didn’t expect to work for at least ~20 years, I saw an opportunity to encourage her to get legal advice. Sorry if that doesn’t seem “PC” to some Piggs.

[/quote]

My comment had nothing to do with political correctness, and nothing to do with you encouraging her to get legal advice. As I said, that was sound. You should have stopped there. You didn’t. You proceeded to provide legal advice that was wrong.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=SK in CV][quote=bearishgurl]SK, you must know that it is tremendously hard to raise minor children on a $50-$60K salary in SD County, CA. That’s why, after re-reading the OP’s posts today, when she stated that she didn’t expect to work for at least ~20 years, I saw an opportunity to encourage her to get legal advice. Sorry if that doesn’t seem “PC” to some Piggs.

[/quote]

My comment had nothing to do with political correctness, and nothing to do with you encouraging her to get legal advice. As I said, that was sound. You should have stopped there. You didn’t. You proceeded to provide legal advice that was wrong.[/quote]Where did I “provide legal advice,” here?

[PCinSD]

[quote=bearishgurl][quote=SK in CV][quote=bearishgurl]SK, you must know that it is tremendously hard to raise minor children on a $50-$60K salary in SD County, CA. That’s why, after re-reading the OP’s posts today, when she stated that she didn’t expect to work for at least ~20 years, I saw an opportunity to encourage her to get legal advice. Sorry if that doesn’t seem “PC” to some Piggs.

[/quote]

My comment had nothing to do with political correctness, and nothing to do with you encouraging her to get legal advice. As I said, that was sound. You should have stopped there. You didn’t. You proceeded to provide legal advice that was wrong.[/quote]Where did I “provide legal advice,” here?[/quote]

For fucks sake. The OP never once suggested she needed marital or career advice. How about minding your own business? Many people here could make suggestions for you based on your comments. But we don’t. Friggin’ dingbat.

[SK in CV]

[quote=bearishgurl]Where did I “provide legal advice,” here?[/quote]

[quote=bearishgurl]But you need to know that your “inheritance” belongs to you and only you unless you “commingle” it (i.e. or use some or all of it as the entire downpayment on real property which is only half owned by you or owned by a marital “community”). Doing this could change the “character” of your inheritance and you may already be aware that CA is a “community-property state.”

[/quote]

You acknowledged that you know it’s not accurate, you don’t think that’s advice?

[bearishgurl]

SK, that’s not legal advice. I would tell my kids the same thing.

I feel so many later messes could be avoided in life if someone just cared enough to speak up if they see a red flag. At least tell them to seek advice before they do anything rash.

[bearishgurl]

[quote=PCinSD]For fucks sake. The OP never once suggested she needed marital or career advice. How about minding your own business? Many people here could make suggestions for you based on your comments. But we don’t. Friggin’ dingbat.[/quote]As usual, you’re accusing me of doing something I never did. I never gave the OP “marital advice” or “career advice.”

I simply voiced my concerns about her statement that she had no intent to bring in her own income for the time her kids were of school age (the next 18-19 yrs). Again, I don’t feel that’s a good plan for someone her age whose spouse makes $50-$60K to support a family of 3-4 in SD County, CA and has little room for wage growth.

Of course, if you have never been in this situation yourself, you wouldn’t realize the gravity of it. I have, I’m no Pollyanna and I do.

That’s likely the biggest difference between you and me.

I really don’t have any current pressing problems but I’m welcome to any and all suggestions. You have my blessings to go ahead and start a thread, PC!

[SK in CV]

[quote=bearishgurl]SK, that’s not legal advice. I would tell my kids the same thing.

I feel so many later messes could be avoided in life if someone just cared enough to speak up if they see a red flag. At least tell them to seek advice before they do anything rash.[/quote]

You would intentionally tell your kids something that is incorrect? Why would you do that?

[La Jolla Renter]

I always thought if you inherit or have savings prior to marriage and you use it on a down payment, and divorced down the road, that you get the down payment back or is your equity. You don’t get interest, or gain off the down payment.

Anyone know the actual standard treatment in California.

[SK in CV]

[quote=La Jolla Renter]I always thought if you inherit or have savings prior to marriage and you use it on a down payment, and divorced down the road, that you get the down payment back or is your equity. You don’t get interest, or gain off the down payment.

Anyone know the actual standard treatment in California.[/quote]

That’s basically the law. The down payment is “reimbursable” under the law. If instead, the couple uses joint funds for the down payment, and uses the inherited money for the monthly payments, retirement plan contributions, or most other expenses, those expenses are not reimbursable.

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