Well, thanks everyone for the advice. Fortunately, the usual hairspray, alcohol removed a lot of it. But my mom also had a few tips, and she recommended me something called Carbona #3. Being that she was here today, she helped get just about all of it off.
I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with microfiber fabric. Despite the scrubbing, the material held up pretty well, and it seems like it isn't as porous as I thought it would be.
After things dry, I can put on those clear plastic sofa covers and leave the on for the next 18+ years.
