OT: Paying Kids For Grades in HS

[UCGal]

I’m a big believer that parents have to figure out what works for their family and their kids. If this works, great.

I’m also of the mind that just carrots or just sticks won’t do it for most kids – you need carrots ($ in this case) and sticks (removal of privileges).

I think the idea that it’s too long of a period is a valid one. Perhaps you can arrange with the guidance counselor to get monthly status updates.

I was the “bright but lazy” student – and that’s what my dad did – if the monthly report showed I was underperforming he cracked down – I could do NOTHING but homework and extra studying. One month of that and I was back on track.

At the time I thought my dad was the meanest dad on the planet – in hindsight, I know he was doing it because he cared and wanted me to achieve my potential.

But – if paying for grades works – great. What is your backup plan if it doesn’t work?

[temeculaguy]

Can he buy a television with the money? How does he watch sports?

O.K. here’s a happy alternative, it has a financial angle but it’s more about attention and it sprinkles in some peer pressure. You have to pick the reward based on your own kid and what they and their friends enjoy. Let’s say your kid likes a particular activity (amusement park, paintball, padre game, manicure/pedicure, etc.), you make a deal with them that they can take a friend or two or three (depending on if they have one good friend or two, etc. whatever their posse consists of), if they get straight A’s, you will take and pay for their friends to go to that activity. You let this deal be known throughout the semester to their friends by casually bringing it up at times. Now their friends encourage them because they have a vested interest, they get a chance at being the hero, if they reach their goal they get the praise from their peers, for teenagers it’s as important as your praise. At some point during the activity or day, raise your soda cup and toast your kid with their friends for making the day possible for everyone. You were probably going to do that activity anyway, but now it gets a little meaning.

Maybe it motivates them, maybe it doesn’t. I do know one thing, I love getting a pedicure and as a heterosexual middle aged man there are limited opportunities so I root for her to pull a 4.0 along with her pals. Last night we confirmed online that she nailed it and I made the appointment, woohooo! Spa Takeover!!

[temeculaguy]

Can he buy a television with the money? How does he watch sports?

O.K. here’s a happy alternative, it has a financial angle but it’s more about attention and it sprinkles in some peer pressure. You have to pick the reward based on your own kid and what they and their friends enjoy. Let’s say your kid likes a particular activity (amusement park, paintball, padre game, manicure/pedicure, etc.), you make a deal with them that they can take a friend or two or three (depending on if they have one good friend or two, etc. whatever their posse consists of), if they get straight A’s, you will take and pay for their friends to go to that activity. You let this deal be known throughout the semester to their friends by casually bringing it up at times. Now their friends encourage them because they have a vested interest, they get a chance at being the hero, if they reach their goal they get the praise from their peers, for teenagers it’s as important as your praise. At some point during the activity or day, raise your soda cup and toast your kid with their friends for making the day possible for everyone. You were probably going to do that activity anyway, but now it gets a little meaning.

Maybe it motivates them, maybe it doesn’t. I do know one thing, I love getting a pedicure and as a heterosexual middle aged man there are limited opportunities so I root for her to pull a 4.0 along with her pals. Last night we confirmed online that she nailed it and I made the appointment, woohooo! Spa Takeover!!

[temeculaguy]

Can he buy a television with the money? How does he watch sports?

O.K. here’s a happy alternative, it has a financial angle but it’s more about attention and it sprinkles in some peer pressure. You have to pick the reward based on your own kid and what they and their friends enjoy. Let’s say your kid likes a particular activity (amusement park, paintball, padre game, manicure/pedicure, etc.), you make a deal with them that they can take a friend or two or three (depending on if they have one good friend or two, etc. whatever their posse consists of), if they get straight A’s, you will take and pay for their friends to go to that activity. You let this deal be known throughout the semester to their friends by casually bringing it up at times. Now their friends encourage them because they have a vested interest, they get a chance at being the hero, if they reach their goal they get the praise from their peers, for teenagers it’s as important as your praise. At some point during the activity or day, raise your soda cup and toast your kid with their friends for making the day possible for everyone. You were probably going to do that activity anyway, but now it gets a little meaning.

Maybe it motivates them, maybe it doesn’t. I do know one thing, I love getting a pedicure and as a heterosexual middle aged man there are limited opportunities so I root for her to pull a 4.0 along with her pals. Last night we confirmed online that she nailed it and I made the appointment, woohooo! Spa Takeover!!

[temeculaguy]

Can he buy a television with the money? How does he watch sports?

O.K. here’s a happy alternative, it has a financial angle but it’s more about attention and it sprinkles in some peer pressure. You have to pick the reward based on your own kid and what they and their friends enjoy. Let’s say your kid likes a particular activity (amusement park, paintball, padre game, manicure/pedicure, etc.), you make a deal with them that they can take a friend or two or three (depending on if they have one good friend or two, etc. whatever their posse consists of), if they get straight A’s, you will take and pay for their friends to go to that activity. You let this deal be known throughout the semester to their friends by casually bringing it up at times. Now their friends encourage them because they have a vested interest, they get a chance at being the hero, if they reach their goal they get the praise from their peers, for teenagers it’s as important as your praise. At some point during the activity or day, raise your soda cup and toast your kid with their friends for making the day possible for everyone. You were probably going to do that activity anyway, but now it gets a little meaning.

Maybe it motivates them, maybe it doesn’t. I do know one thing, I love getting a pedicure and as a heterosexual middle aged man there are limited opportunities so I root for her to pull a 4.0 along with her pals. Last night we confirmed online that she nailed it and I made the appointment, woohooo! Spa Takeover!!

[temeculaguy]

Can he buy a television with the money? How does he watch sports?

O.K. here’s a happy alternative, it has a financial angle but it’s more about attention and it sprinkles in some peer pressure. You have to pick the reward based on your own kid and what they and their friends enjoy. Let’s say your kid likes a particular activity (amusement park, paintball, padre game, manicure/pedicure, etc.), you make a deal with them that they can take a friend or two or three (depending on if they have one good friend or two, etc. whatever their posse consists of), if they get straight A’s, you will take and pay for their friends to go to that activity. You let this deal be known throughout the semester to their friends by casually bringing it up at times. Now their friends encourage them because they have a vested interest, they get a chance at being the hero, if they reach their goal they get the praise from their peers, for teenagers it’s as important as your praise. At some point during the activity or day, raise your soda cup and toast your kid with their friends for making the day possible for everyone. You were probably going to do that activity anyway, but now it gets a little meaning.

Maybe it motivates them, maybe it doesn’t. I do know one thing, I love getting a pedicure and as a heterosexual middle aged man there are limited opportunities so I root for her to pull a 4.0 along with her pals. Last night we confirmed online that she nailed it and I made the appointment, woohooo! Spa Takeover!!

[evolusd]

I wasn’t paid as a kid, but I will definitely consider it for our children. Seems to make sense to me…the harder you work, the more you are rewarded. That’s how real life is, right?

Although it will only work if you don’t spoil your kids by buying them whatever they want…that would take all the incentive out of it.

[evolusd]

I wasn’t paid as a kid, but I will definitely consider it for our children. Seems to make sense to me…the harder you work, the more you are rewarded. That’s how real life is, right?

Although it will only work if you don’t spoil your kids by buying them whatever they want…that would take all the incentive out of it.

[evolusd]

I wasn’t paid as a kid, but I will definitely consider it for our children. Seems to make sense to me…the harder you work, the more you are rewarded. That’s how real life is, right?

Although it will only work if you don’t spoil your kids by buying them whatever they want…that would take all the incentive out of it.

[evolusd]

I wasn’t paid as a kid, but I will definitely consider it for our children. Seems to make sense to me…the harder you work, the more you are rewarded. That’s how real life is, right?

Although it will only work if you don’t spoil your kids by buying them whatever they want…that would take all the incentive out of it.

[evolusd]

I wasn’t paid as a kid, but I will definitely consider it for our children. Seems to make sense to me…the harder you work, the more you are rewarded. That’s how real life is, right?

Although it will only work if you don’t spoil your kids by buying them whatever they want…that would take all the incentive out of it.

[davelj]

I think the idea of paying for grades is built upon a false premise: that grades matter.

Lots of kids get good grades but don’t really learn. They just know how to game the system of tests. While that may get them into a “good” college, it is meaningless in the long term.

In the long term, what matters – and it can’t really be taught or coerced into a child – are two things: (1) the fundamental intellectual curiosity of the person (intellectually curious people figure out ways to learn about things – inside or outside of school), and (2) inner discipline (that is, a willingness to bear down and work, even when you’d rather not). If you’re not curious about the world and/or are unwilling to put in the work… your grades will get you nowhere.

My brother was a poor student in high school. He was very intellectually curious – read like a madman – but had no discipline for school. He ended up deciding on his own that he needed discipline and went to a military college where he did very well. Then on to a prominent law school and now he’s a federal prosecutor. My point is that his grades up until the time he graduated from high school sucked ass. But it all turned out pretty well in the end because he eventually figured out on his own that he needed to develop discipline.

In my opinion, focusing on grades is placing too much focus on the trees, as opposed to the forest.

[davelj]

I think the idea of paying for grades is built upon a false premise: that grades matter.

Lots of kids get good grades but don’t really learn. They just know how to game the system of tests. While that may get them into a “good” college, it is meaningless in the long term.

In the long term, what matters – and it can’t really be taught or coerced into a child – are two things: (1) the fundamental intellectual curiosity of the person (intellectually curious people figure out ways to learn about things – inside or outside of school), and (2) inner discipline (that is, a willingness to bear down and work, even when you’d rather not). If you’re not curious about the world and/or are unwilling to put in the work… your grades will get you nowhere.

My brother was a poor student in high school. He was very intellectually curious – read like a madman – but had no discipline for school. He ended up deciding on his own that he needed discipline and went to a military college where he did very well. Then on to a prominent law school and now he’s a federal prosecutor. My point is that his grades up until the time he graduated from high school sucked ass. But it all turned out pretty well in the end because he eventually figured out on his own that he needed to develop discipline.

In my opinion, focusing on grades is placing too much focus on the trees, as opposed to the forest.

[davelj]

I think the idea of paying for grades is built upon a false premise: that grades matter.

Lots of kids get good grades but don’t really learn. They just know how to game the system of tests. While that may get them into a “good” college, it is meaningless in the long term.

In the long term, what matters – and it can’t really be taught or coerced into a child – are two things: (1) the fundamental intellectual curiosity of the person (intellectually curious people figure out ways to learn about things – inside or outside of school), and (2) inner discipline (that is, a willingness to bear down and work, even when you’d rather not). If you’re not curious about the world and/or are unwilling to put in the work… your grades will get you nowhere.

My brother was a poor student in high school. He was very intellectually curious – read like a madman – but had no discipline for school. He ended up deciding on his own that he needed discipline and went to a military college where he did very well. Then on to a prominent law school and now he’s a federal prosecutor. My point is that his grades up until the time he graduated from high school sucked ass. But it all turned out pretty well in the end because he eventually figured out on his own that he needed to develop discipline.

In my opinion, focusing on grades is placing too much focus on the trees, as opposed to the forest.

[davelj]

I think the idea of paying for grades is built upon a false premise: that grades matter.

Lots of kids get good grades but don’t really learn. They just know how to game the system of tests. While that may get them into a “good” college, it is meaningless in the long term.

In the long term, what matters – and it can’t really be taught or coerced into a child – are two things: (1) the fundamental intellectual curiosity of the person (intellectually curious people figure out ways to learn about things – inside or outside of school), and (2) inner discipline (that is, a willingness to bear down and work, even when you’d rather not). If you’re not curious about the world and/or are unwilling to put in the work… your grades will get you nowhere.

My brother was a poor student in high school. He was very intellectually curious – read like a madman – but had no discipline for school. He ended up deciding on his own that he needed discipline and went to a military college where he did very well. Then on to a prominent law school and now he’s a federal prosecutor. My point is that his grades up until the time he graduated from high school sucked ass. But it all turned out pretty well in the end because he eventually figured out on his own that he needed to develop discipline.

In my opinion, focusing on grades is placing too much focus on the trees, as opposed to the forest.

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