OT: Don’t give people “art” as a gift

[Casca]

C, if you have sex with her/him, and don’t call them again, they usually get the message. Downside, if she’s a psycho, she might key your car, but you can throw the wreath on the fire at Burning Man.

[Coronita]

CMcg,

Sigh…

Assuming this friend is a woman (shops at Michael's).

You should know better. You should read my book, "Man's survival in woman's world."

Rule #1: NEVER alter a woman's gift. EVAR.

Rule #2: The gift must be placed in a #1 location the first month. Gradually move the gift to a less discrete location over time. The target being the garage, or better a garage sale. When asked, just say "I thought the gift would look better there, as it naturally blends better with that room" (room being garage eventually)

Rule #3: The best way to stop the creative gift giving is simply to return the favor. Find the most manly things you can think of that you know she'll hate, and give it to her…Make sure it's not completely distasteful (like a nude picture or such). It must "appear" to look innocent, just make sure it reflects the typical "bonehead" men gift..It must be obvious and stick out when placed in a location and cause the sense of "gosh i really hate this, but I don't want to disappoint my friend" type of discomfort…….Make sure as you are giving it to her, you say "our friendship means a lot to me, and I thought about you when I got this for you.. I hope you proudly display this in a conspicuous location as a validation of our friendship". Don't forget to wrap the gift, otherwise she won't take you seriously. If you don't know how to wrap, pay someone to do it.

Here's a couple of excellent gift ideas.

1)Animal heads: real dead animals are a plus, fake ones are good substitutes. http://www.animalhead.com/index.html

2)Beer can art: something like this, but obviously it would mean more if you made them yourself (hint, they won't turn out as nice as these)

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/12/31/beer-can-art/

3)Fish trophy, with mount.

http://www.trophyfishmounts.com/

4)Big Flag's that proudly display the name of your favorite automobile company.

Example,

http://www.worldclassflags.com/prod-audi-dealer-flag.htm (plus if she really doesn't want it, it will end up in your garage…Cool.)

5) Dartboards….. And make sure that when she hangs it up, for the first month, you ALWAYS play darts, and you ALWAYS miss the dartboard, hitting the surrounding stucco.

6)Framed (and it must be framed and mounted) poster of your favorite car or motorcycle.

 

7)Ant farms.

8) Chiapet. Make sure you buy the ANIMAL/character shaped one, not the PLANT shaped one. For exampple, pick the Shaggy or Scobby Doo one. ALSO, make sure it's already grown (you grow it and then give it to her).

http://www.rkdm.com/chiapet/index.htm

 

Use your imagination…Come on, it's not that hard.

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

CMcg,

Sigh…

Assuming this friend is a woman (shops at Michael's).

You should know better. You should read my book, "Man's survival in woman's world."

Rule #1: NEVER alter a woman's gift. EVAR.

Rule #2: The gift must be placed in a #1 location the first month. Gradually move the gift to a less discrete location over time. The target being the garage, or better a garage sale. When asked, just say "I thought the gift would look better there, as it naturally blends better with that room" (room being garage eventually)

Rule #3: The best way to stop the creative gift giving is simply to return the favor. Find the most manly things you can think of that you know she'll hate, and give it to her…Make sure it's not completely distasteful (like a nude picture or such). It must "appear" to look innocent, just make sure it reflects the typical "bonehead" men gift..It must be obvious and stick out when placed in a location and cause the sense of "gosh i really hate this, but I don't want to disappoint my friend" type of discomfort…….Make sure as you are giving it to her, you say "our friendship means a lot to me, and I thought about you when I got this for you.. I hope you proudly display this in a conspicuous location as a validation of our friendship". Don't forget to wrap the gift, otherwise she won't take you seriously. If you don't know how to wrap, pay someone to do it.

Here's a couple of excellent gift ideas.

1)Animal heads: real dead animals are a plus, fake ones are good substitutes. http://www.animalhead.com/index.html

2)Beer can art: something like this, but obviously it would mean more if you made them yourself (hint, they won't turn out as nice as these)

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/12/31/beer-can-art/

3)Fish trophy, with mount.

http://www.trophyfishmounts.com/

4)Big Flag's that proudly display the name of your favorite automobile company.

Example,

http://www.worldclassflags.com/prod-audi-dealer-flag.htm (plus if she really doesn't want it, it will end up in your garage…Cool.)

5) Dartboards….. And make sure that when she hangs it up, for the first month, you ALWAYS play darts, and you ALWAYS miss the dartboard, hitting the surrounding stucco.

6)Framed (and it must be framed and mounted) poster of your favorite car or motorcycle.

 

7)Ant farms.

8) Chiapet. Make sure you buy the ANIMAL/character shaped one, not the PLANT shaped one. For exampple, pick the Shaggy or Scobby Doo one. ALSO, make sure it's already grown (you grow it and then give it to her).

http://www.rkdm.com/chiapet/index.htm

 

Use your imagination…Come on, it's not that hard.

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

CMcg,

Sigh…

Assuming this friend is a woman (shops at Michael's).

You should know better. You should read my book, "Man's survival in woman's world."

Rule #1: NEVER alter a woman's gift. EVAR.

Rule #2: The gift must be placed in a #1 location the first month. Gradually move the gift to a less discrete location over time. The target being the garage, or better a garage sale. When asked, just say "I thought the gift would look better there, as it naturally blends better with that room" (room being garage eventually)

Rule #3: The best way to stop the creative gift giving is simply to return the favor. Find the most manly things you can think of that you know she'll hate, and give it to her…Make sure it's not completely distasteful (like a nude picture or such). It must "appear" to look innocent, just make sure it reflects the typical "bonehead" men gift..It must be obvious and stick out when placed in a location and cause the sense of "gosh i really hate this, but I don't want to disappoint my friend" type of discomfort…….Make sure as you are giving it to her, you say "our friendship means a lot to me, and I thought about you when I got this for you.. I hope you proudly display this in a conspicuous location as a validation of our friendship". Don't forget to wrap the gift, otherwise she won't take you seriously. If you don't know how to wrap, pay someone to do it.

Here's a couple of excellent gift ideas.

1)Animal heads: real dead animals are a plus, fake ones are good substitutes. http://www.animalhead.com/index.html

2)Beer can art: something like this, but obviously it would mean more if you made them yourself (hint, they won't turn out as nice as these)

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/12/31/beer-can-art/

3)Fish trophy, with mount.

http://www.trophyfishmounts.com/

4)Big Flag's that proudly display the name of your favorite automobile company.

Example,

http://www.worldclassflags.com/prod-audi-dealer-flag.htm (plus if she really doesn't want it, it will end up in your garage…Cool.)

5) Dartboards….. And make sure that when she hangs it up, for the first month, you ALWAYS play darts, and you ALWAYS miss the dartboard, hitting the surrounding stucco.

6)Framed (and it must be framed and mounted) poster of your favorite car or motorcycle.

 

7)Ant farms.

8) Chiapet. Make sure you buy the ANIMAL/character shaped one, not the PLANT shaped one. For exampple, pick the Shaggy or Scobby Doo one. ALSO, make sure it's already grown (you grow it and then give it to her).

http://www.rkdm.com/chiapet/index.htm

 

Use your imagination…Come on, it's not that hard.

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

CMcg,

Sigh…

Assuming this friend is a woman (shops at Michael's).

You should know better. You should read my book, "Man's survival in woman's world."

Rule #1: NEVER alter a woman's gift. EVAR.

Rule #2: The gift must be placed in a #1 location the first month. Gradually move the gift to a less discrete location over time. The target being the garage, or better a garage sale. When asked, just say "I thought the gift would look better there, as it naturally blends better with that room" (room being garage eventually)

Rule #3: The best way to stop the creative gift giving is simply to return the favor. Find the most manly things you can think of that you know she'll hate, and give it to her…Make sure it's not completely distasteful (like a nude picture or such). It must "appear" to look innocent, just make sure it reflects the typical "bonehead" men gift..It must be obvious and stick out when placed in a location and cause the sense of "gosh i really hate this, but I don't want to disappoint my friend" type of discomfort…….Make sure as you are giving it to her, you say "our friendship means a lot to me, and I thought about you when I got this for you.. I hope you proudly display this in a conspicuous location as a validation of our friendship". Don't forget to wrap the gift, otherwise she won't take you seriously. If you don't know how to wrap, pay someone to do it.

Here's a couple of excellent gift ideas.

1)Animal heads: real dead animals are a plus, fake ones are good substitutes. http://www.animalhead.com/index.html

2)Beer can art: something like this, but obviously it would mean more if you made them yourself (hint, they won't turn out as nice as these)

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/12/31/beer-can-art/

3)Fish trophy, with mount.

http://www.trophyfishmounts.com/

4)Big Flag's that proudly display the name of your favorite automobile company.

Example,

http://www.worldclassflags.com/prod-audi-dealer-flag.htm (plus if she really doesn't want it, it will end up in your garage…Cool.)

5) Dartboards….. And make sure that when she hangs it up, for the first month, you ALWAYS play darts, and you ALWAYS miss the dartboard, hitting the surrounding stucco.

6)Framed (and it must be framed and mounted) poster of your favorite car or motorcycle.

 

7)Ant farms.

8) Chiapet. Make sure you buy the ANIMAL/character shaped one, not the PLANT shaped one. For exampple, pick the Shaggy or Scobby Doo one. ALSO, make sure it's already grown (you grow it and then give it to her).

http://www.rkdm.com/chiapet/index.htm

 

Use your imagination…Come on, it's not that hard.

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[Coronita]

CMcg,

Sigh…

Assuming this friend is a woman (shops at Michael's).

You should know better. You should read my book, "Man's survival in woman's world."

Rule #1: NEVER alter a woman's gift. EVAR.

Rule #2: The gift must be placed in a #1 location the first month. Gradually move the gift to a less discrete location over time. The target being the garage, or better a garage sale. When asked, just say "I thought the gift would look better there, as it naturally blends better with that room" (room being garage eventually)

Rule #3: The best way to stop the creative gift giving is simply to return the favor. Find the most manly things you can think of that you know she'll hate, and give it to her…Make sure it's not completely distasteful (like a nude picture or such). It must "appear" to look innocent, just make sure it reflects the typical "bonehead" men gift..It must be obvious and stick out when placed in a location and cause the sense of "gosh i really hate this, but I don't want to disappoint my friend" type of discomfort…….Make sure as you are giving it to her, you say "our friendship means a lot to me, and I thought about you when I got this for you.. I hope you proudly display this in a conspicuous location as a validation of our friendship". Don't forget to wrap the gift, otherwise she won't take you seriously. If you don't know how to wrap, pay someone to do it.

Here's a couple of excellent gift ideas.

1)Animal heads: real dead animals are a plus, fake ones are good substitutes. http://www.animalhead.com/index.html

2)Beer can art: something like this, but obviously it would mean more if you made them yourself (hint, they won't turn out as nice as these)

http://www.hemmy.net/2006/12/31/beer-can-art/

3)Fish trophy, with mount.

http://www.trophyfishmounts.com/

4)Big Flag's that proudly display the name of your favorite automobile company.

Example,

http://www.worldclassflags.com/prod-audi-dealer-flag.htm (plus if she really doesn't want it, it will end up in your garage…Cool.)

5) Dartboards….. And make sure that when she hangs it up, for the first month, you ALWAYS play darts, and you ALWAYS miss the dartboard, hitting the surrounding stucco.

6)Framed (and it must be framed and mounted) poster of your favorite car or motorcycle.

 

7)Ant farms.

8) Chiapet. Make sure you buy the ANIMAL/character shaped one, not the PLANT shaped one. For exampple, pick the Shaggy or Scobby Doo one. ALSO, make sure it's already grown (you grow it and then give it to her).

http://www.rkdm.com/chiapet/index.htm

 

Use your imagination…Come on, it's not that hard.

[img_assist|nid=5962|title=selfportrait|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=80]

—– Sour grapes for everyone!

[zk]

FLU,

Clever ideas, but they appear to be aimed at a man. CMCG is, if I recall, a woman.

CMCG, I’m a bit confused about how good a friend this is. I certainly don’t have any friends that come by five times a week. My wife has one or two that might come by that often, but they are easily good enough friends that she can laugh off a gift that she doesn’t want. What she would do is kind of make a joke about it in a merry way. Keep smiling and laughing and joking while gently placing said gift in a location such that the friend knows she’ll never see it displayed again. If you keep it light, there might not be so much tension and your non-display of her gift might not cause such a rift.

In any case, a friend that gets “very hurt” and “angry” if you alter a gift she gave you seems pretty self-centered to me. Not to mention fragile and needy.

[zk]

FLU,

Clever ideas, but they appear to be aimed at a man. CMCG is, if I recall, a woman.

CMCG, I’m a bit confused about how good a friend this is. I certainly don’t have any friends that come by five times a week. My wife has one or two that might come by that often, but they are easily good enough friends that she can laugh off a gift that she doesn’t want. What she would do is kind of make a joke about it in a merry way. Keep smiling and laughing and joking while gently placing said gift in a location such that the friend knows she’ll never see it displayed again. If you keep it light, there might not be so much tension and your non-display of her gift might not cause such a rift.

In any case, a friend that gets “very hurt” and “angry” if you alter a gift she gave you seems pretty self-centered to me. Not to mention fragile and needy.

[zk]

FLU,

Clever ideas, but they appear to be aimed at a man. CMCG is, if I recall, a woman.

CMCG, I’m a bit confused about how good a friend this is. I certainly don’t have any friends that come by five times a week. My wife has one or two that might come by that often, but they are easily good enough friends that she can laugh off a gift that she doesn’t want. What she would do is kind of make a joke about it in a merry way. Keep smiling and laughing and joking while gently placing said gift in a location such that the friend knows she’ll never see it displayed again. If you keep it light, there might not be so much tension and your non-display of her gift might not cause such a rift.

In any case, a friend that gets “very hurt” and “angry” if you alter a gift she gave you seems pretty self-centered to me. Not to mention fragile and needy.

[zk]

FLU,

Clever ideas, but they appear to be aimed at a man. CMCG is, if I recall, a woman.

CMCG, I’m a bit confused about how good a friend this is. I certainly don’t have any friends that come by five times a week. My wife has one or two that might come by that often, but they are easily good enough friends that she can laugh off a gift that she doesn’t want. What she would do is kind of make a joke about it in a merry way. Keep smiling and laughing and joking while gently placing said gift in a location such that the friend knows she’ll never see it displayed again. If you keep it light, there might not be so much tension and your non-display of her gift might not cause such a rift.

In any case, a friend that gets “very hurt” and “angry” if you alter a gift she gave you seems pretty self-centered to me. Not to mention fragile and needy.

[zk]

FLU,

Clever ideas, but they appear to be aimed at a man. CMCG is, if I recall, a woman.

CMCG, I’m a bit confused about how good a friend this is. I certainly don’t have any friends that come by five times a week. My wife has one or two that might come by that often, but they are easily good enough friends that she can laugh off a gift that she doesn’t want. What she would do is kind of make a joke about it in a merry way. Keep smiling and laughing and joking while gently placing said gift in a location such that the friend knows she’ll never see it displayed again. If you keep it light, there might not be so much tension and your non-display of her gift might not cause such a rift.

In any case, a friend that gets “very hurt” and “angry” if you alter a gift she gave you seems pretty self-centered to me. Not to mention fragile and needy.

[CMcG]

Thanks, guys, for the laughs and suggestions! zk is right…I am female. My friend is male, which may surprise you. He comes by a lot because he enjoys puttering around and working in my jungle of a backyard garden. I really appreciate that. I would dearly love to put that wreath in the garage, but that would devastate him. Thanks to your help, though, I am inspired to put it in my “junk room,” the third bedroom in which I, as an “artiste” writer, create stuff amidst boxes of old crap. The wreath, I will say, inspires me in here. But when people come to visit, I shut the door to this room. Forgive any typos. I woke up at five and forgot that the new five is six.

[CMcG]

Thanks, guys, for the laughs and suggestions! zk is right…I am female. My friend is male, which may surprise you. He comes by a lot because he enjoys puttering around and working in my jungle of a backyard garden. I really appreciate that. I would dearly love to put that wreath in the garage, but that would devastate him. Thanks to your help, though, I am inspired to put it in my “junk room,” the third bedroom in which I, as an “artiste” writer, create stuff amidst boxes of old crap. The wreath, I will say, inspires me in here. But when people come to visit, I shut the door to this room. Forgive any typos. I woke up at five and forgot that the new five is six.

[CMcG]

Thanks, guys, for the laughs and suggestions! zk is right…I am female. My friend is male, which may surprise you. He comes by a lot because he enjoys puttering around and working in my jungle of a backyard garden. I really appreciate that. I would dearly love to put that wreath in the garage, but that would devastate him. Thanks to your help, though, I am inspired to put it in my “junk room,” the third bedroom in which I, as an “artiste” writer, create stuff amidst boxes of old crap. The wreath, I will say, inspires me in here. But when people come to visit, I shut the door to this room. Forgive any typos. I woke up at five and forgot that the new five is six.

[CMcG]

Thanks, guys, for the laughs and suggestions! zk is right…I am female. My friend is male, which may surprise you. He comes by a lot because he enjoys puttering around and working in my jungle of a backyard garden. I really appreciate that. I would dearly love to put that wreath in the garage, but that would devastate him. Thanks to your help, though, I am inspired to put it in my “junk room,” the third bedroom in which I, as an “artiste” writer, create stuff amidst boxes of old crap. The wreath, I will say, inspires me in here. But when people come to visit, I shut the door to this room. Forgive any typos. I woke up at five and forgot that the new five is six.

[Author]

Posts