OT: Divorce question in regards to home ownership

[PCinSD]

LAAFTERHOURS:

As I understand your question, the divorce is already in progress. Any suggestions regarding salvaging the marriage, regardless of the reason, are moot.

A family law attorney would probably want to know if the marriage was long term or short term, if the child is the result of that marriage, if the downpayments were paid before or during the marriage, the earning potential of the wife, the standard of living the wife became accustomed to during the marriage, the husbands salary and future earning potential, and a bunch more stuff.

Usually, the wife had her own career/job when the couple met and subsequently married. The couple then agree that the wife would give up her job, future pay raises, promotions, career opportunities, experience, etc. all so she could have a baby and care for it, at least until it reaches kindergarten level. This benefits the family – at the expense of the wife’s future career options. And they don’t have to pay 30 grand or more/yr. for daycare/nanny while both parents work.

When the marriage goes south, many times the wife is screwed. She has been out of the work force for 5 years (let’s just say 5 for this example), is 5 years older, the technology in her particular field may have surpassed what she knows, etc. Getting a job paying what she made pre-marital bliss will be challenging. For some women, it will not happen, at least not right away. The law recognizes this harsh reality. These laws were in place when somebody gets married and are easy to look at. If you don’t want to accept these laws then get a prenup. If one spouse doesn’t want a prenup, then you don’t get married. Simple.

In any event, the house is under water so there is no reason for either of them to scratch their heads to figure out who put more into it. It doesn’t matter, it’s gone. There is no law that says the “breadwinner” gets to stay in the house. Get rid of the house, minimize the family’s expenses and concentrate on doing what’s best for the little ankle biter.

And talk to an attorney. There’s also plenty of good family law mediators in town which I always recommend before “lawyering up”.

[urbanrealtor]

I don’t care to add to the comments above about people’s views on family or marriage.

Some comments make me speculate on people’s personal lives and I really don’t like doing that–even involuntarily. Ick.

Regarding the issues brought up by the thread author:
As I understand it, the property and all the down payment are community property. Husband gets back half the proceeds (or lack thereof) and is liable for half the unpaid or forgiven debt (should he sell short).

Regarding the loan, it is unlikely that any occupancy requirement is enforceable. Most owner occ loans have some similar clause and nobody enforces it if the owner’s circumstances change. The only time we see those followed is when there is legitimate mortgage fraud (google Todd Lackner some time) or when the loans are especially non-standard (eg: a private or hard money lender).

Also, it might be obvious but both people on title have to agree to the sale.

[urbanrealtor]

I don’t care to add to the comments above about people’s views on family or marriage.

Some comments make me speculate on people’s personal lives and I really don’t like doing that–even involuntarily. Ick.

Regarding the issues brought up by the thread author:
As I understand it, the property and all the down payment are community property. Husband gets back half the proceeds (or lack thereof) and is liable for half the unpaid or forgiven debt (should he sell short).

Regarding the loan, it is unlikely that any occupancy requirement is enforceable. Most owner occ loans have some similar clause and nobody enforces it if the owner’s circumstances change. The only time we see those followed is when there is legitimate mortgage fraud (google Todd Lackner some time) or when the loans are especially non-standard (eg: a private or hard money lender).

Also, it might be obvious but both people on title have to agree to the sale.

[urbanrealtor]

I don’t care to add to the comments above about people’s views on family or marriage.

Some comments make me speculate on people’s personal lives and I really don’t like doing that–even involuntarily. Ick.

Regarding the issues brought up by the thread author:
As I understand it, the property and all the down payment are community property. Husband gets back half the proceeds (or lack thereof) and is liable for half the unpaid or forgiven debt (should he sell short).

Regarding the loan, it is unlikely that any occupancy requirement is enforceable. Most owner occ loans have some similar clause and nobody enforces it if the owner’s circumstances change. The only time we see those followed is when there is legitimate mortgage fraud (google Todd Lackner some time) or when the loans are especially non-standard (eg: a private or hard money lender).

Also, it might be obvious but both people on title have to agree to the sale.

[urbanrealtor]

I don’t care to add to the comments above about people’s views on family or marriage.

Some comments make me speculate on people’s personal lives and I really don’t like doing that–even involuntarily. Ick.

Regarding the issues brought up by the thread author:
As I understand it, the property and all the down payment are community property. Husband gets back half the proceeds (or lack thereof) and is liable for half the unpaid or forgiven debt (should he sell short).

Regarding the loan, it is unlikely that any occupancy requirement is enforceable. Most owner occ loans have some similar clause and nobody enforces it if the owner’s circumstances change. The only time we see those followed is when there is legitimate mortgage fraud (google Todd Lackner some time) or when the loans are especially non-standard (eg: a private or hard money lender).

Also, it might be obvious but both people on title have to agree to the sale.

[urbanrealtor]

I don’t care to add to the comments above about people’s views on family or marriage.

Some comments make me speculate on people’s personal lives and I really don’t like doing that–even involuntarily. Ick.

Regarding the issues brought up by the thread author:
As I understand it, the property and all the down payment are community property. Husband gets back half the proceeds (or lack thereof) and is liable for half the unpaid or forgiven debt (should he sell short).

Regarding the loan, it is unlikely that any occupancy requirement is enforceable. Most owner occ loans have some similar clause and nobody enforces it if the owner’s circumstances change. The only time we see those followed is when there is legitimate mortgage fraud (google Todd Lackner some time) or when the loans are especially non-standard (eg: a private or hard money lender).

Also, it might be obvious but both people on title have to agree to the sale.

[urbanrealtor]

I will do what, in the last post, I said I would not do and make a comment that is about personal stuff.

I apologize that this post is a bit cheesy.

I think that people outside of a situation underestimate the pain and stress financial difficulty can add. Coupled with emotional turmoil (eg: a relationship ending) this can be almost unbearable. There is nothing worse than trying to process serious personal pain and then having a creditor call.

Currently I see a lot of this. While most of my clients are buyers ALL of my seller-clients are selling short. Some are mid breakup. Its awful to watch and I can only imagine what its like for them.

My sympathies to the friend of the author who is the subject of this thread.

Sorry for the sermon everyone.

[urbanrealtor]

I will do what, in the last post, I said I would not do and make a comment that is about personal stuff.

I apologize that this post is a bit cheesy.

I think that people outside of a situation underestimate the pain and stress financial difficulty can add. Coupled with emotional turmoil (eg: a relationship ending) this can be almost unbearable. There is nothing worse than trying to process serious personal pain and then having a creditor call.

Currently I see a lot of this. While most of my clients are buyers ALL of my seller-clients are selling short. Some are mid breakup. Its awful to watch and I can only imagine what its like for them.

My sympathies to the friend of the author who is the subject of this thread.

Sorry for the sermon everyone.

[urbanrealtor]

I will do what, in the last post, I said I would not do and make a comment that is about personal stuff.

I apologize that this post is a bit cheesy.

I think that people outside of a situation underestimate the pain and stress financial difficulty can add. Coupled with emotional turmoil (eg: a relationship ending) this can be almost unbearable. There is nothing worse than trying to process serious personal pain and then having a creditor call.

Currently I see a lot of this. While most of my clients are buyers ALL of my seller-clients are selling short. Some are mid breakup. Its awful to watch and I can only imagine what its like for them.

My sympathies to the friend of the author who is the subject of this thread.

Sorry for the sermon everyone.

[urbanrealtor]

I will do what, in the last post, I said I would not do and make a comment that is about personal stuff.

I apologize that this post is a bit cheesy.

I think that people outside of a situation underestimate the pain and stress financial difficulty can add. Coupled with emotional turmoil (eg: a relationship ending) this can be almost unbearable. There is nothing worse than trying to process serious personal pain and then having a creditor call.

Currently I see a lot of this. While most of my clients are buyers ALL of my seller-clients are selling short. Some are mid breakup. Its awful to watch and I can only imagine what its like for them.

My sympathies to the friend of the author who is the subject of this thread.

Sorry for the sermon everyone.

[urbanrealtor]

I will do what, in the last post, I said I would not do and make a comment that is about personal stuff.

I apologize that this post is a bit cheesy.

I think that people outside of a situation underestimate the pain and stress financial difficulty can add. Coupled with emotional turmoil (eg: a relationship ending) this can be almost unbearable. There is nothing worse than trying to process serious personal pain and then having a creditor call.

Currently I see a lot of this. While most of my clients are buyers ALL of my seller-clients are selling short. Some are mid breakup. Its awful to watch and I can only imagine what its like for them.

My sympathies to the friend of the author who is the subject of this thread.

Sorry for the sermon everyone.

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