OT – Alcoholism and Addiction

[zk]

What knowledge I have about alcoholism comes from having three siblings who are alcoholics. And from the searching and researching what I could do to help them.

Brian, your lack of sympathy seems pretty cold hearted to me. Your attitude belies a misunderstanding of the situation, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s a matter of will power, but even if it is, where do you think you get your will power from? What if you get it from the same place that tall people get their height from? Which is a combination of genes and nourishment (physical nourishment in the case of height, emotional nourishment in the case of will power). Sure, maybe your friend is weak. But how’d he get that way? How do smart people get smart? Should smart people have no sympathy for stupid people? What about ugly people? People who are naturally socially inept? Maybe this is a topic for another thread, because it’s a big topic. But I think it applies here.

Anyway, your attitude, ironically, might help you help him. In my opinion, the only thing you can do to help him is to tell him that when he decides to stop drinking, that, unless he dies first, you’ll do what you can to help him (and then, of course, do it if he decides to stop). Trying to help him now by covering for him in any way or helping him with his bills or cleaning up for him will only delay his trip to rock bottom and prolong his drinking. (Doesn’t sound like you’d do any of that. And maybe a lot of people wouldn’t do that for a friend. When it’s your sibling or your child or parent, it’s more difficult).

[frenchlambda]

Alcoholism is a disease and there is not much you can do about it.
There is a rule about alcoholism and addiction in general called the 3 C’s rule:
– you didn’t cause your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t control your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t cure your friend’s alcoholism

Recovery can only come from him. First he needs to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, From there, the only cure is total abstinence. He must stay away from alcohol, period. I recommend that he finds a support group like AA and attend meetings at least 2 or 3 times a week. Eventually he will need to get himself a sponsor.
Treatment are lengthy and costly. If he or his family can afford it, he should go to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA. It’s a 90-day inpatient treatment. Cost is around $50,000 (it’s a medical treatment so it’s tax-deductible) but that might save his life.

Many times with alcohol things only get worse until the person hits rock bottom. It might be being arrested and spending time in jail, a DUI, losing a job, a spouse or ending up in a hospital after an accident caused by alcohol.

My suggestion to you Brian is to keep an eye on him, and get his friends and family involved. If you ever decide to have an intervention on him or just talk to him, it will be more efficient and powerful if you all come as one voice.

[frenchlambda]

Alcoholism is a disease and there is not much you can do about it.
There is a rule about alcoholism and addiction in general called the 3 C’s rule:
– you didn’t cause your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t control your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t cure your friend’s alcoholism

Recovery can only come from him. First he needs to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, From there, the only cure is total abstinence. He must stay away from alcohol, period. I recommend that he finds a support group like AA and attend meetings at least 2 or 3 times a week. Eventually he will need to get himself a sponsor.
Treatment are lengthy and costly. If he or his family can afford it, he should go to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA. It’s a 90-day inpatient treatment. Cost is around $50,000 (it’s a medical treatment so it’s tax-deductible) but that might save his life.

Many times with alcohol things only get worse until the person hits rock bottom. It might be being arrested and spending time in jail, a DUI, losing a job, a spouse or ending up in a hospital after an accident caused by alcohol.

My suggestion to you Brian is to keep an eye on him, and get his friends and family involved. If you ever decide to have an intervention on him or just talk to him, it will be more efficient and powerful if you all come as one voice.

[frenchlambda]

Alcoholism is a disease and there is not much you can do about it.
There is a rule about alcoholism and addiction in general called the 3 C’s rule:
– you didn’t cause your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t control your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t cure your friend’s alcoholism

Recovery can only come from him. First he needs to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, From there, the only cure is total abstinence. He must stay away from alcohol, period. I recommend that he finds a support group like AA and attend meetings at least 2 or 3 times a week. Eventually he will need to get himself a sponsor.
Treatment are lengthy and costly. If he or his family can afford it, he should go to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA. It’s a 90-day inpatient treatment. Cost is around $50,000 (it’s a medical treatment so it’s tax-deductible) but that might save his life.

Many times with alcohol things only get worse until the person hits rock bottom. It might be being arrested and spending time in jail, a DUI, losing a job, a spouse or ending up in a hospital after an accident caused by alcohol.

My suggestion to you Brian is to keep an eye on him, and get his friends and family involved. If you ever decide to have an intervention on him or just talk to him, it will be more efficient and powerful if you all come as one voice.

[frenchlambda]

Alcoholism is a disease and there is not much you can do about it.
There is a rule about alcoholism and addiction in general called the 3 C’s rule:
– you didn’t cause your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t control your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t cure your friend’s alcoholism

Recovery can only come from him. First he needs to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, From there, the only cure is total abstinence. He must stay away from alcohol, period. I recommend that he finds a support group like AA and attend meetings at least 2 or 3 times a week. Eventually he will need to get himself a sponsor.
Treatment are lengthy and costly. If he or his family can afford it, he should go to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA. It’s a 90-day inpatient treatment. Cost is around $50,000 (it’s a medical treatment so it’s tax-deductible) but that might save his life.

Many times with alcohol things only get worse until the person hits rock bottom. It might be being arrested and spending time in jail, a DUI, losing a job, a spouse or ending up in a hospital after an accident caused by alcohol.

My suggestion to you Brian is to keep an eye on him, and get his friends and family involved. If you ever decide to have an intervention on him or just talk to him, it will be more efficient and powerful if you all come as one voice.

[frenchlambda]

Alcoholism is a disease and there is not much you can do about it.
There is a rule about alcoholism and addiction in general called the 3 C’s rule:
– you didn’t cause your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t control your friend’s alcoholism
– you can’t cure your friend’s alcoholism

Recovery can only come from him. First he needs to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, From there, the only cure is total abstinence. He must stay away from alcohol, period. I recommend that he finds a support group like AA and attend meetings at least 2 or 3 times a week. Eventually he will need to get himself a sponsor.
Treatment are lengthy and costly. If he or his family can afford it, he should go to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA. It’s a 90-day inpatient treatment. Cost is around $50,000 (it’s a medical treatment so it’s tax-deductible) but that might save his life.

Many times with alcohol things only get worse until the person hits rock bottom. It might be being arrested and spending time in jail, a DUI, losing a job, a spouse or ending up in a hospital after an accident caused by alcohol.

My suggestion to you Brian is to keep an eye on him, and get his friends and family involved. If you ever decide to have an intervention on him or just talk to him, it will be more efficient and powerful if you all come as one voice.

[CBad]

There are/were alcoholics in my family. My advice? Do nothing other than telling the person you think they have a problem and are willing to help them ONLY with solving their problem. Do not offer any other help at all because it will only enable them to continue. Sounds harsh but talk to any addict who has successfully made it to the other side and they’ll readily admit that they would do anything to continue their habit. Until they admit they have a problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do. That would be my advice if the person didn’t have minor children. They are only hurting themselves. If the person had minor children, it would depend on the situation. It gets even stickier if it’s a family member with children. Unfortunately I have experience with that.

[CBad]

There are/were alcoholics in my family. My advice? Do nothing other than telling the person you think they have a problem and are willing to help them ONLY with solving their problem. Do not offer any other help at all because it will only enable them to continue. Sounds harsh but talk to any addict who has successfully made it to the other side and they’ll readily admit that they would do anything to continue their habit. Until they admit they have a problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do. That would be my advice if the person didn’t have minor children. They are only hurting themselves. If the person had minor children, it would depend on the situation. It gets even stickier if it’s a family member with children. Unfortunately I have experience with that.

[CBad]

There are/were alcoholics in my family. My advice? Do nothing other than telling the person you think they have a problem and are willing to help them ONLY with solving their problem. Do not offer any other help at all because it will only enable them to continue. Sounds harsh but talk to any addict who has successfully made it to the other side and they’ll readily admit that they would do anything to continue their habit. Until they admit they have a problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do. That would be my advice if the person didn’t have minor children. They are only hurting themselves. If the person had minor children, it would depend on the situation. It gets even stickier if it’s a family member with children. Unfortunately I have experience with that.

[CBad]

There are/were alcoholics in my family. My advice? Do nothing other than telling the person you think they have a problem and are willing to help them ONLY with solving their problem. Do not offer any other help at all because it will only enable them to continue. Sounds harsh but talk to any addict who has successfully made it to the other side and they’ll readily admit that they would do anything to continue their habit. Until they admit they have a problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do. That would be my advice if the person didn’t have minor children. They are only hurting themselves. If the person had minor children, it would depend on the situation. It gets even stickier if it’s a family member with children. Unfortunately I have experience with that.

[CBad]

There are/were alcoholics in my family. My advice? Do nothing other than telling the person you think they have a problem and are willing to help them ONLY with solving their problem. Do not offer any other help at all because it will only enable them to continue. Sounds harsh but talk to any addict who has successfully made it to the other side and they’ll readily admit that they would do anything to continue their habit. Until they admit they have a problem and want to change, there is nothing you can do. That would be my advice if the person didn’t have minor children. They are only hurting themselves. If the person had minor children, it would depend on the situation. It gets even stickier if it’s a family member with children. Unfortunately I have experience with that.

[jpinpb]

I agree w/CBad and others. Do not help in any other way other than if they want help becoming clean and sober. If they admit they have a problem and want to stop drinking, they will need support and if finances do not allow, the best they can do is attend AA meetings. There are many groups throughout the county, some better than others.

[jpinpb]

I agree w/CBad and others. Do not help in any other way other than if they want help becoming clean and sober. If they admit they have a problem and want to stop drinking, they will need support and if finances do not allow, the best they can do is attend AA meetings. There are many groups throughout the county, some better than others.

[jpinpb]

I agree w/CBad and others. Do not help in any other way other than if they want help becoming clean and sober. If they admit they have a problem and want to stop drinking, they will need support and if finances do not allow, the best they can do is attend AA meetings. There are many groups throughout the county, some better than others.

[jpinpb]

I agree w/CBad and others. Do not help in any other way other than if they want help becoming clean and sober. If they admit they have a problem and want to stop drinking, they will need support and if finances do not allow, the best they can do is attend AA meetings. There are many groups throughout the county, some better than others.

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