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New Stock Market Terms
CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET -A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET -a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER-What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION -The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT-an archaic word no longer in use. # # # sp; # #
That’s great!
My favorite is “VALUE INVESTING” because it nicely describes my 2008.
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