How much space does a family truly need?

[sdsurfer]

Hello all,

I was reading the “Temecula regrets” post and it made me think of a discussion I had with a friend recently that I thought might be an interesting topic.

How much space does a family really need to be happy?

I wonder if there might be a lot of people that ended up in Temecula or other inland areas or even other states because they felt they “needed” a larger home only to later realize that they were happier when they lived in a smaller condo or home by the beach. Likewise, I wonder if some people that live in those areas (and could care less about the beach) might actually be happier if they bought less home to keep their expenses down and work a little less.

The conversation I had with a friend was with regards to all the homes in my neighborhood of Encinitas being roughly around 900-1300 sqft and being primarily built in the 50’s. We were discussing how the average new home seems to be around 2000-3000 or even more sqft. We talked about the irony that it seems we are having smaller families than we did back then (not me, but my parents), but the homes are much larger. I understand there is the whole “keeping up with the jones’s” and materialistic aspect of the discussion, but rather than discuss that I was wondering if we could steer the discussion in the direction of whether or not people were in fact happier in their smaller homes than they are today in their larger ones. Maybe some of the older Piggs can chime in on the aspect of sharing a room with a sibling growing up and if it sucked or was awesome. Maybe some people can chime in with reasons why every child must have their own room and why it is better. I can understand the boy vs. girl aspect of having separate rooms and all, but I wonder if the children my get along better or worse if they are the same gender and share a room. I’ve talked to my wife about just adding on to our home if we ever need to for one reason or another and wonder if I might just end up spending a lot of money and regretting it because we are no more happy than the family of 4 or 5 that might have once occupied our 1170 sqft home back in the day. Thanks for any insight you have to share!

[The-Shoveler]

The question I would ask is what kind of environment do YOU or YOUR family need!!

Also what is your time frame, are you close to retirement ? or just starting.

There are no set answers, but most will think their solution is best…

At worst they will apply their logic to YOUR situation. I even know people who bought at the top of the market but for them it was the best solution.

Others who did not just to lose it all in the stock market.

There is no one correct answer.

[sdsurfer]

Yeah I was not really looking for a correct answer, but the opposing viewpoints and hopefully with some reasoning/first hand experience to back it up.

Personally, I’m just starting with an 8 month old, but we do plan to have more. However, I sometimes think we might just stay put and ride it out where we are instead of upgrading or getting a larger home just because we can/if we can at that time. If someone were to apply their logic would be find by me. I was thinking more of a discussion than a test.

I definitely understand that the decision is up to me and my family and anything anyone says is just their opinion, but I’m curious why people feel one way or the other.

[no_such_reality]

As Shoveler noted, environment, external and internal is more important.

I’ve seen 3500sf homes that burn nearly a 1000sf up in the just the master suite closet and bath, not including the bedroom. I’ve seen home layouts that makes 2500 sf seem cramped while a 1500 sf place with the same number of bed and baths seem spacious.

You need to determine what functional areas do you need. What exterior space you need and what public space and access to it you need.

For me personally, with small children now, desirability of trendy restaurants and nightlife is near zero and desirability of walk-ability, access to parks, grocery stores, libraries, old downtown areas and child friendly public space and a community garden is high.

[The-Shoveler]

Yea but should not everyone live in downtown condo where they can bike to work?

Just kidding..

[SDHopes]

As the OP of the Temecula thread,
I thought I could put in my two cents.

What my family has learned living in both situations (small apartments and large homes)is this:
Extra space is great for storage (all that baby gear) and play areas. A yard is great to have as well once your little one is older. However, nothing beats the great outdoors. Even if you have the biggest house- your kids will still want to go to the park with their friends. You can live in a small apartment and provided there is park access (maybe even a pool or the beach nearby) then you are going to be just fine.

Hope this helps!

[sdsurfer]

[quote=SDHopes]As the OP of the Temecula thread,
I can tell you that we didn’t move to Temecula for the size of the house.

In fact, we are a family of four and have happily lived in small apartments just as well as large homes.

What my family has learned living in both situations is this:
Extra space is great for storage (all that baby gear) and play areas. A yard is great to have as well once your little one is older. However, nothing beats the great outdoors. Even if you have the biggest house- your kids will still want to go to the park with their friends. You can live in a small apartment and provided there is park access (maybe even a pool or the beach nearby) then you are going to be just fine.

Hope this helps![/quote]
Thanks! Don’t get me started on the baby gear…that stuff is crazy. I mean…a wipe warmer? that stuff has gotten out of hand. I definitely agree with the outdoors. I grew up in a rural area and loved shooting bb guns and hiking around. I can’t wait to get my kid a red ryder….well I can wait a little bit. ha!

[Former SD resident]

I’ve lived in both types of homes and can say I’m happier in a smaller home with a larger lot. We just moved back to SoCal from North Carolina and there we had a very nice 3000sqft home (which is average to small for where we were) and here we have a 1800 sqft old house and I am happier. The kids get to spend more time outside here where as in NC it was either to hot or to cold to be outside all the time. Here since we got an older smaller home our lot is large 1/3 acre and has room for pool and grass area for kids to run. Being the one who cleans and home I’m also happier to clean a smaller space, also the cost to cool the place (even our small space here) is about triple the cost of NC. I honestly don’t understand the need or desire to have a larger home unless you live in an area where you can’t spend much time outside, but that’s just me. we have 2 kids boy and girl so they each have their own room and we have a separate office, I don’t think our house feels cramped at all. The previous owners were the original owners from the 50s and they said there were 5 kids and 2 parents that lived in our 4 bd home, now that might feel a little cramped to me.

[all]

A recent study shows that an average Californian family need 981sf + 508sf/family member + 91sf/pet (not including garage space) before true happiness can be attained.

[sdsurfer]

[quote=Former SD resident]I’ve lived in both types of homes and can say I’m happier in a smaller home with a larger lot. We just moved back to SoCal from North Carolina and there we had a very nice 3000sqft home (which is average to small for where we were) and here we have a 1800 sqft old house and I am happier. The kids get to spend more time outside here where as in NC it was either to hot or to cold to be outside all the time. Here since we got an older smaller home our lot is large 1/3 acre and has room for pool and grass area for kids to run. Being the one who cleans and home I’m also happier to clean a smaller space, also the cost to cool the place (even our small space here) is about triple the cost of NC. I honestly don’t understand the need or desire to have a larger home unless you live in an area where you can’t spend much time outside, but that’s just me. we have 2 kids boy and girl so they each have their own room and we have a separate office, I don’t think our house feels cramped at all. The previous owners were the original owners from the 50s and they said there were 5 kids and 2 parents that lived in our 4 bd home, now that might feel a little cramped to me.[/quote]
Thanks for the insight! I can appreciate that you have experience in both areas. Makes perfect sense that in a colder or hotter climate more indoors might be somewhat necessary while in a desirable area not so much.

[SDHopes]

[quote=sdsurfer][quote=SDHopes]As the OP of the Temecula thread,
I can tell you that we didn’t move to Temecula for the size of the house.

In fact, we are a family of four and have happily lived in small apartments just as well as large homes.

What my family has learned living in both situations is this:
Extra space is great for storage (all that baby gear) and play areas. A yard is great to have as well once your little one is older. However, nothing beats the great outdoors. Even if you have the biggest house- your kids will still want to go to the park with their friends. You can live in a small apartment and provided there is park access (maybe even a pool or the beach nearby) then you are going to be just fine.

Hope this helps![/quote]
Thanks! Don’t get me started on the baby gear…that stuff is crazy. I mean…a wipe warmer? that stuff has gotten out of hand. I definitely agree with the outdoors. I grew up in a rural area and loved shooting bb guns and hiking around. I can’t wait to get my kid a red ryder….well I can wait a little bit. ha![/quote]

Yes, it seems that for most people their best childhood memories are outdoors. No mention of house size.

[sdsurfer]

[quote=SDHopes][quote=sdsurfer][quote=SDHopes]As the OP of the Temecula thread,
I can tell you that we didn’t move to Temecula for the size of the house.

In fact, we are a family of four and have happily lived in small apartments just as well as large homes.

What my family has learned living in both situations is this:
Extra space is great for storage (all that baby gear) and play areas. A yard is great to have as well once your little one is older. However, nothing beats the great outdoors. Even if you have the biggest house- your kids will still want to go to the park with their friends. You can live in a small apartment and provided there is park access (maybe even a pool or the beach nearby) then you are going to be just fine.

Hope this helps![/quote]
Thanks! Don’t get me started on the baby gear…that stuff is crazy. I mean…a wipe warmer? that stuff has gotten out of hand. I definitely agree with the outdoors. I grew up in a rural area and loved shooting bb guns and hiking around. I can’t wait to get my kid a red ryder….well I can wait a little bit. ha![/quote]

Yes, it seems that for most people their best childhood memories are outdoors. No mention of house size.[/quote]
Thanks! Yes…I remember camping in the backyard and having a blast.

[The-Shoveler]

I remember walking out my front door and hiking through the mountains and building tree forts etc.

Had a blast

[spdrun]

If/when I have a family, I’d probably have 1-2 kids and raise them in an ~800 sf condo, either in Brooklyn or near Columbia University. I have no stomach for living in the suburbs during the week — I’d rather drop an extra $50k on a weekend place in Vermont or PA.

My sister has fond memories of going to Central Park with my Grandma in the 70s, and that’s when NYC was somwhat of a dump.

[dumbrenter]

[quote=sdsurfer]How much space does a family really need to be happy?[/quote]

Here is my perspective from a family of 4 incl. 2 kids under 10 living in about 1000 square feet space with 2 bedrooms.

We moved in from a much larger home. Every time I give my kids option to move back, the response I get is: we will be far away from parks, rec center & library. This pretty much lines up with other poster’s experiences.

At this age, my kids are pretty vocal about wanting to spend time with me rather than living in a big house. That might change fast though.

Whenever a friend of mine justifies moving up to a bigger home ‘because’ of a new baby needing space, I chuckle to myself. They have been sold this concept by the realtors, and the babies could care less!

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