Divorce corp

[SK in CV]

[quote=6packscaredy]People are willing to lay down their lives for their children but they’ll be dawned if they are required to get along with a somewhat unreasonable spouse…[/quote]

why should people be required or even the slightest bit motivated to get along with a somewhat unreasonable spouse? I think there are a lot of situations where they shouldn’t be. Situations where divorce is by far the best alternative, even encouraged.

[NotCranky]

[quote=6packscaredy][quote=CA renter][quote=6packscaredy]Is it really giving up anything? Perhaps child raising is a benefit, a gain?[/quote]

You’re not giving up anything if everything goes as planned (lifelong marriage). IMHO, it’s a total benefit to the entire family to have a SAHP who is committed to the family (for families who choose this option…everyone has different priorities and opinions).

If you end up getting divorced, OTOH, you are most certainly sacrificing a lot if you’re a SAHP.[/quote]

Is the worker sacrificing too?[/quote]

I have a pretty big SAHD role, off and on, pretty on now, I am valuable in my household and I like what I get in return. I like what I can do for my family and for myself with this arrangement. If I were a bachelor, I would do my best to be a stay at home bachelor and did. I do a lot of things I would not do if I were single either way. I don’t see a lot more or less sacrifice in that compared to what the worker does, and in this day in age don’t see why anyone has the right to call it that. She is doing what she wants and I am doing what I want. Everyone has to find, or should try, to find a way to approximately do their share. I think the word that should come into play with staying at home is “risk” and people should take responsibility for that too. Husband and wife should share that risk if they agree to the arrangement for the good of kids or even for the good of each other. If the risk is too high , don’t do it.

If you can not pick up and carry on in the case of a divorce, sitting around crying about sacrifice isn’t going to do a thing for you. A lot of people are going to get dumped the day the kids get out the door…a contingent plan should be somewhere in one’s mind. Hopefully getting screwed by the divorce system wouldn’t be part of it.

[scaredyclassic]

2 gay guys get married. One is a high earning doc and the other is an artist who has custody of a 2 year old they both adore. The doc adopts. The artist stays home paints sculpts and has a blast watching the kud. 12 Years later the passion between the men is gone.

Does lifetime alimony seem fair? Why or why not?

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=6packscaredy][quote=CA renter][quote=6packscaredy]Is it really giving up anything? Perhaps child raising is a benefit, a gain?[/quote]

You’re not giving up anything if everything goes as planned (lifelong marriage). IMHO, it’s a total benefit to the entire family to have a SAHP who is committed to the family (for families who choose this option…everyone has different priorities and opinions).

If you end up getting divorced, OTOH, you are most certainly sacrificing a lot if you’re a SAHP.[/quote]

Is the worker sacrificing too?[/quote]

I have a pretty big SAHD role, off and on, pretty on now, I am valuable in my household and I like what I get in return. I like what I can do for my family and for myself with this arrangement. If I were a bachelor, I would do my best to be a stay at home bachelor and did. I do a lot of things I would not do if I were single either way. I don’t see a lot more or less sacrifice in that compared to what the worker does, and in this day in age don’t see why anyone has the right to call it that. She is doing what she wants and I am doing what I want. Everyone has to find, or should try, to find a way to approximately do their share. I think the word that should come into play with staying at home is “risk” and people should take responsibility for that too. Husband and wife should share that risk if they agree to the arrangement for the good of kids or even for the good of each other. If the risk is too high , don’t do it.

If you can not pick up and carry on in the case of a divorce, sitting around crying about sacrifice isn’t going to do a thing for you. A lot of people are going to get dumped the day the kids get out the door…a contingent plan should be somewhere in one’s mind. Hopefully getting screwed by the divorce system wouldn’t be part of it.[/quote]

this sounds right. To sit back and claim victimize ti on without risk mitigation along the way feels unreasonable in this current social climate.

[scaredyclassic]

The utility and amount of child care required is on a steep downward curve from age 5 onward.

[NotCranky]

[quote=6packscaredy]The utility and amount of child care required is on a steep downward curve from age 5 onward.[/quote)

I agree with CARENTER on this one : ).

[scaredyclassic]

Well. You can send them to public school. There’s aftercare. They can fend for themselves a bit.

I don’t know. I have some divorce knowledge though I’m sure it’s way different from the inside. It’s bad to depend too heavily on others without providing a clear corresponding benefit.

Or as my wife tells my kids … do not marry a woman who dies not have an oar in the water.

That can be defined a lot of ways but it does seem like some partners are not very useful. Not very good at their tasks and are not sacrificing much. Bad partner choice.

[NotCranky]

[quote=6packscaredy]Well. You can send them to public school. There’s aftercare. They can fend for themselves a bit.

I don’t know. I have some divorce knowledge though I’m sure it’s way different from the inside. It’s bad to depend too heavily on others without providing a clear corresponding benefit.

Or as my wife tells my kids … do not marry a woman who dies not have an oar in the water.

That can be defined a lot of ways but it does seem like some partners are not very useful. Not very good at their tasks and are not sacrificing much. Bad partner choice.[/quote]

Marry someone with a heart and an oar.

[FlyerInHi]

I can deal with some character flaws.
But I can’t deal with unreasonable and manufactured drama and upset.

I’m willing to be a house husband to a good wife who can afford a nice apartment iwith terrace and private school for the kids in manhattan.

How much is my virility worth?

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=SK in CV][quote=6packscaredy]People are willing to lay down their lives for their children but they’ll be dawned if they are required to get along with a somewhat unreasonable spouse…[/quote]

why should people be required or even the slightest bit motivated to get along with a somewhat unreasonable spouse? I think there are a lot of situations where they shouldn’t be. Situations where divorce is by far the best alternative, even encouraged.[/quote]

Because it’s better for kids to have parents who are happy together. And all people are somewhat unreasonable.

It seems like less of a sacrifice to try to be happy with a crazy spouse than to be dead. So if you’re willing to die for your kids you ought to bexwillkng v to try to be happy even if diffivult

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=6packscaredy]Well. You can send them to public school. There’s aftercare. They can fend for themselves a bit.

I don’t know. I have some divorce knowledge though I’m sure it’s way different from the inside. It’s bad to depend too heavily on others without providing a clear corresponding benefit.

Or as my wife tells my kids … do not marry a woman who dies not have an oar in the water.

That can be defined a lot of ways but it does seem like some partners are not very useful. Not very good at their tasks and are not sacrificing much. Bad partner choice.[/quote]

Marry someone with a heart and an oar.[/quote]

Personally I focused on the oar. The heart will follow.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=FlyerInHi]I can deal with some character flaws.
But I can’t deal with unreasonable and manufactured drama and upset.

I’m willing to be a house husband to a good wife who can afford a nice apartment iwith terrace and private school for the kids in manhattan.

How much is my virility worth?[/quote]

The market will let you know.

[scaredyclassic]

Short term alimony not so bad. Longterm Or lifetime alimony feels like it motivates ineptitude and victimhood.

Basically when you get Married you need a real heavy duty partner.

Anything less, skip it.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=CA renter][quote=6packscaredy]Stay at home dad’s give up their most study handsome years?[/quote]

No, but they do give up major income earning potential when they are SAHDs.[/quote]

Speculative.

[scaredyclassic]

The psychic rewards to the SaHP seem like a form of some compensation. The worker may have paid with her soul to stay with her work while the “sacrificer” experienced numerous moments of transcendent bliss.

[Author]

Posts