Divorce corp

[scaredyclassic]

Supposedly married guys live longer so it evens out.

But yeah kids cost money.

Otoh nothing much better to spend it on.

[FlyerInHi]

No chickflick or quality family time for me. This weekend I’m laying hardwood flooring so I can find a quality tenant. It’s a pain to cut the corners.

I’m writing this eating by my lonesome self at a Vegas restaurant full of happy tourists.

Pity me. What a sad existence.

[NotCranky]

I thought about Mexico and South America, before I was married. I took all the Spanish classes offered at the Junior college level then went to several places in Mexico a few times and Argentina. I had friends in some of the places I went to in Mexico and in Buenos Aires.

I am glad I did that experiment because I don’t have to sit here and seriously wonder if I would really rather be doing that. I would have wanted to have a family there also…I always wanted a family and a place to do yard work/gardening as much as possible.Not necessarily in that order. From the people I spent time with I could see there would be a lot of pressure to come back to the United States with any future family or live in two countries…I really didn’t have a plan for all that and it seemed potentially complicated with no better matrimonial risk factors than staying here.

I can’t say I would trade what I have done for that , or to retire by myself in my 40’s never having a family.

FWIW: I think in the end my financial deal will be a wash or better with marriage…probably better. Lots of single people and lots of married people have more, always have and always will….not something to get vexed about.

[NotCranky]

[quote=FlyerInHi]No chickflick or quality family time for me. This weekend I’m laying hardwood flooring so I can find a quality tenant. It’s a pain to cut the corners.

I’m writing this eating by my lonesome self at a Vegas restaurant full of happy tourists.

Pity me. What a sad existence.[/quote]
Way to get out there and get your hands dirty…sweat equity, or at least a better place to go forward with. I have sold most of my professional type tools…can’t say I don’t miss it some though.

[spdrun]

From the people I spent time with I could see there would be a lot of pressure to come back to the United States with any future family or live in two countries…I really didn’t have a plan for all that and it seemed potentially complicated with no better matrimonial risk factors than staying here.

If you stayed there, you could have married locally to someone who was comfy with staying, though.

[NotCranky]

[quote=spdrun]

From the people I spent time with I could see there would be a lot of pressure to come back to the United States with any future family or live in two countries…I really didn’t have a plan for all that and it seemed potentially complicated with no better matrimonial risk factors than staying here.

If you stayed there, you could have married locally to someone who was comfy with staying, though.[/quote]

That’s true, it could have happened..but we never really know what will happen…In the end I had a lot of fun visiting ..but it had all the signs of a grass is always greener lesson…for me anyway.

[FlyerInHi]

Pressure to come back to USA for education and healthcare.

International schools are costly. US universities are more prestigious. UC is a bargain if you’re a CA resident.

Medicare only pays services within the country.

What foreign spouse doesn’t want US citizenship if only to have it. That’s a 3 year process. More like 4 years with all the paperwork.

Living in 2 countries could be quite nice. I could do it.

[spdrun]

At the higher end, private education abroad (up to secondary level) is just as good, and less expensive, as in the good ‘ol US of A. One doesn’t need to go to an “American School” in a capital city to get a decent education — in fact, being part of the American ghetto and being poisoned by American prejudices and hangups would likely be harmful.

[joec]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Pressure to come back to USA for education and healthcare.

International schools are costly. US universities are more prestigious. UC is a bargain if you’re a CA resident.

Medicare only pays services within the country.

What foreign spouse doesn’t want US citizenship if only to have it. That’s a 3 year process. More like 4 years with all the paperwork.

Living in 2 countries could be quite nice. I could do it.[/quote]

US education and healthcare is actually nearer to the bottom of nearly every world ranking now (more so for healthcare). As mentioned in another thread, there is typically a thought that the US is the best in a lot of things and people who never travel outside the US still thinks this, but in terms of health care and education, US is always near dead last now…A lot of this is due to low investments and putting company profits first to sell more services vs. trying to keep the population healthy since that’d be bad for business. Also, cost tends to be so fair in international locations vs. one-hospital-bill-from-bankrupcy in the US that people should be more concerned with that in the US.

I suppose having lived here nearly my whole life, I wouldn’t mind moving as much now, since I don’t think things are as “great” in the US anymore and will be in a long term decline.

http://www.businessinsider.com/best-healthcare-systems-in-the-world-2012-6?op=1

http://www.bloomberg.com/visual-data/best-and-worst/most-efficient-health-care-countries

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/new-health-rankings-of-17-nations-us-is-dead-last/267045/

Among the most striking of the report’s findings are that, among the countries studied, the U.S. has:

The highest rate of death by violence, by a stunning margin
The highest rate of death by car accident, also dramatically so
The highest chance that a child will die before age 5
The second-highest rate of death by coronary heart disease
The second-highest rate of death by lung disease
The highest teen pregnancy rate
The highest rate of women dying due to complications of pregnancy and childbirth

Education

http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/dec/07/world-education-rankings-maths-science-reading

Also, as cheap as UC schools are, a lot of private prestigious schools offer a lot more financial aid and I’ve read of many articles people are opting to go to a private school vs. UC for this very reason…It is probably true that a US university is better than other countries though…

That said, UC isn’t all that and with constant budget cuts, limited class sizes, classes only offered once a year, etc…you have graduation for UC people dragging out longer and longer…This was even common back in the 90s when I went. If possible, I’d probably rather my kids go to a private place personally…Getting classes was a pain 20+ years ago and it’s only worst now.

Data:
http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_20101265

Believe it: Harvard cheaper than Cal State:

The impossible has happened: Harvard College is now thousands of dollars cheaper than Cal State East Bay for middle-income California students.

So is Princeton. And Williams College. And Yale.

Top private schools, with their generous aid, have been among the most affordable options for poor students for a few years, but rising tuition has only recently sent California State University and University of California prices shooting past the Harvards and Yales for middle-class students.
.
.
.
College-cost calculators illuminate the dramatic shifts.

Consider a family of four — married parents, a high-school senior and a 14-year-old child — making $130,000 a year.

With typical aid, the family should expect to pay nearly $24,000 for a Cal State freshman’s tuition, on-campus room and board, supplies and other expenses. At Harvard? Just $17,000, even though its stated annual tuition is $36,305.

The same family would pay about $33,000 for a freshman year at UC Santa Cruz. UC Berkeley, which recently followed the lead of private colleges by boosting aid for middle-class families, would cost $19,500.

[scaredyclassic]

really, nowehere on earth is that great, because, as G.d said,
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic]really, nowehere on earth is that great, because, as G.d said,
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”[/quote]

That’s a good plan, considering there is a lot of dirt. Could do without the angry overtones. I wonder how God felt when man went to the moon? Doesn’t seem like part of the plan…

[scaredyclassic]

Tang and freeze dried ice cream are an affront to the creator sort of.

[joec]

Relevant video on this topic of stay-at-home dads…As mentioned, there is still plenty of negativity when men do their stay at home parenting thing. I agree that from ages 0-5, I honestly think watching the kids is much harder than work and have done both…

At work, I had a ton more time to “take a break” where with the kids who are too old to sleep constantly, you rarely get a breather. Dealing/working with adults also is easier to me than say a sick toddler or ill newborn. I suppose the stress with sick kids is freakier than some “minor” work issue that is no big deal.

Sorta interesting that women are also criticized for working vs. staying at home.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/nightline-fix-abc-news/being-mr-mom-stay-home-dads-tough-full-154633088.html

[CA renter]

Thanks for sharing that, Joe. I agree that SAHDs are still working on changing society’s expectations of men. My husband often comments on the same things when he gets credit for taking our kids out and about. People talk about what a “great” dad he is because he has his kids with him when running errands (and he is, but not just because he runs errands with the kids). Moms do this all the time, and nobody will ever tell us how “great” we are for taking our kids around with us, or for reading to them, or for taking them to the doctor, etc.

The ultimate feminist is one who acknowledges that “women’s work” (care-giving) is every bit as worthy as “men’s work.,” and that both sexes should feel fully valued for doing either type of work. Both care-taking and income earning have very real social and financial benefits, and both should be equally respected.

[NotCranky]

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