Divorce corp

[NotCranky]

[quote=FlyerInHi]Golddigger is a term that might seem offensive to some. I think everyone has minimal expectations. The minimum threshold is just different for different people.

Consider the wife of the VA governor who was stressing out because she didn’t have designer dresses. Based on some of the articles I read, the SAH wife was not satisfied with what her husband could provide. For example. she wanted an expensive wedding for her daughter. She wanted a Rolex for her husband and asked a contributor for it.

http://m.washingtonpost.com/opinions/bob-and-maureen-mcdonnell-middle-class-in-the-governors-mansion/2014/01/24/930309ec-847d-11e3-9dd4-e7278db80d86_story.html?wpmk=MK0000200%5B/quote%5D

Before you marry them they are gold diggers after you marry them they are something else. It’s the lack of threshold that is the problem and yes, men have it too.

[CA renter]

[quote=Blogstar]BTW, CAR,
I looked at the contract you posted on page one for banker Dave, I think it was he who requested it. Pretty serious stuff….How legal is it all? I mean, does it carry any weight in a court? What difference would it make in say, a case of abandonment.

4 drinks a day is a lot….they could be large. 4 drinks a day is alcoholic to me. 4 drinks a week is about right on the high end. What about chocolate?[/quote]

I think it was Brian who requested it, but yes, it’s supposed to be legal. We’ve had multiple attorneys from two different firms take a look at it (our attorneys showed it around because it was so different). Abandonment is listed as one of the faults. Agree with you about the drinks (and I don’t usually drink alcohol, DH does), but we were trying to be as liberal as possible with it, without letting it go too far. Everybody makes mistakes, and we wanted to incorporate some manner of allowance for just “being human” into the agreement. As you and scaredy have noted, it’s ridiculous to think that any spouse is going to be “perfect.”

No restrictions on chocolate. 🙂

[CA renter]

[quote=Blogstar]I don’t think scaredy’s six pack or my 8 pack hold much sway with our respective wives or with women in general.

The best way to be attractive is to be almost universally kind, not too addicted, humorous,Patient(something I lack) , at least moderately productive and definitely interesting by doing things that are appealing widely across genders on a regular basis with at least several activities,, good ones are art, gardening, nature activities, exercise(not macho contests) reading, cooking and dining, liking at least some chick flick or theatre, reading and or language hobbies, dancing, etc. Beauty can help of course, we are easily swayed by that for sure, but it can be bad when it is put above these things or used too blatantly to cross socio-economic lines, ignoring what is important.

Many women have told me they liked me after seeing how kind I was to old people! Sincerely appreciating children , not just to pass your name, just children anywhere, can make life easier. I have gotten respect for how bad my cars are.

If a man is like that and not cursed with obvious health issues, he will be potentially accepted by lots of straight women (appreciated by lesbians) .. pretty much anyone except gold diggers .

The comment about it being easier for some, like getting good grades is true though. I’d try not to get too hung up on improving the superficial though.[/quote]

LOVE this!!! 🙂

And I think that younger women are attracted to this as well…at least the smart ones who are (IMO) marriage material will be attracted to this.

[spdrun]

4 drinks a week is about right on the high end.

At the high end?

What’s wrong with a glass of wine at dinner say five out of seven days? America is waaaaay too Puritanical about drinking.

[NotCranky]

[quote=spdrun]

4 drinks a week is about right on the high end.

At the high end?

What’s wrong with a glass of wine at dinner say five out of seven days? America is waaaaay too Puritanical about drinking.[/quote]
Actually, a glass of wine with dinner 5 days a week is ABOUT like 4 drinks a week but it is not like 4×7 drinks a week, which I was saying is probably approaching alcoholism.

[joec]

[quote=Blogstar]I agree, young people can have very nice qualities and settling down with someone won’t be easy for all the reasons you mention. Can be a wild time…or a lonely time, almost any kind of time…and not always easy to find middle ground. I am glad to be through it.

I always have trouble with that word “sacrifice” as it relates to family. I know it’s true….but it doesn’t seem like something one wants to think about….like it’s selfish to look at it that way….I sort of look at it like tradeoffs and just forget about it, but it might be better the other way….you could be proud of the sacrifices you make I guess, or something.

I could be sacrificing myself by watching a terrible movie with them right now.
Journey to Mysterious Island. I already told my wife the only thing in it for me is looking at the girl… she said it’s o.k. she doesn’t mind.,,good to mitigate the sacrifices.[/quote]

I think my wording of sacrifice is maybe not the correct term or I view it as just a word I used. Like many studies says that people with kids are not as happy as people without, but a lot of folks (me included) would probably not give up the kids to say, have a “happier” life as defined by what society or scientists call “happy”.

Maybe it’s part of the overall life experience to me and we all know kids are an insane part of life…but like the article below says, having kids has it’s own ups and downs and higher stress points with the relationship (since it’s not just you and a spouse anymore) so things get strained, not to mention time is completely shot…at least at the early 1-5/6 years till full time school.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/14/living/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/

But yeah, calling it sacrifice isn’t really the right word, even to me, but more of a life choice I guess.

Sorta funny in the article that states if parents had to choose, the wife would pick the kids over the husbands 🙂 while husbands would choose the wife.

Guess we know who dies if it’s the kids or the husband if a choice had to be made. 🙂

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar][quote=spdrun]

4 drinks a week is about right on the high end.

At the high end?

What’s wrong with a glass of wine at dinner say five out of seven days? America is waaaaay too Puritanical about drinking.[/quote]
Actually, a glass of wine with dinner 5 days a week is ABOUT like 4 drinks a week but it is not like 4×7 drinks a week, which I was saying is probably approaching alcoholism.[/quote]

4×7 is a bit much. but if your wife is contractually obligated to drink the other half of the bottle of wine, and she breaches, short of litigation what other options are there?

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=joec][quote=Blogstar]I agree, young people can have very nice qualities and settling down with someone won’t be easy for all the reasons you mention. Can be a wild time…or a lonely time, almost any kind of time…and not always easy to find middle ground. I am glad to be through it.

I always have trouble with that word “sacrifice” as it relates to family. I know it’s true….but it doesn’t seem like something one wants to think about….like it’s selfish to look at it that way….I sort of look at it like tradeoffs and just forget about it, but it might be better the other way….you could be proud of the sacrifices you make I guess, or something.

I could be sacrificing myself by watching a terrible movie with them right now.
Journey to Mysterious Island. I already told my wife the only thing in it for me is looking at the girl… she said it’s o.k. she doesn’t mind.,,good to mitigate the sacrifices.[/quote]

I think my wording of sacrifice is maybe not the correct term or I view it as just a word I used. Like many studies says that people with kids are not as happy as people without, but a lot of folks (me included) would probably not give up the kids to say, have a “happier” life as defined by what society or scientists call “happy”.

Maybe it’s part of the overall life experience to me and we all know kids are an insane part of life…but like the article below says, having kids has it’s own ups and downs and higher stress points with the relationship (since it’s not just you and a spouse anymore) so things get strained, not to mention time is completely shot…at least at the early 1-5/6 years till full time school.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/14/living/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/

But yeah, calling it sacrifice isn’t really the right word, even to me, but more of a life choice I guess.

Sorta funny in the article that states if parents had to choose, the wife would pick the kids over the husbands 🙂 while husbands would choose the wife.

Guess we know who dies if it’s the kids or the husband if a choice had to be made. :)[/quote]

in the event of a dicorce, earlier times, the kids wouldve selected my wife, probably instinctively knowing she would pick them to live over me.

[FlyerInHi]

A contract can have all kinds of terms, but if litigation is the only option, the marriage is finished.

A house lease could call for late payment penalties, but I doubt financial penalties would work in a marriage, and still have a marriage.

fwiw, I think that I’d be more broke if married. For the last few years, I’ve been spending all my free time looking for and fixing real estate. I didn’t have to buy a McMansion and a minivan for the family and spending weekends doing yardwork.

[FlyerInHi]

Let’s see….. If a person could afford a $600,000 house at the bottom of the market. All cash for ease of calculation.

He/she could probably buy a better apartment to live in. Then bought another 4 or 5 rental rental apartments in Phoenix or Las Vegas. That would now generate $4,000 or more in rental income. Enough to retire in South America.

[spdrun]

^^^

With $600k, you could do that now — still plenty of areas with 8%-9% cap. If you can keep them rented, you’re talking about $4000 to $4500 per month.

Keeping them rented might be a bit difficult if you’re in S. America though 🙂

[FlyerInHi]

My numbers were fairly conservative and included and apartment for the owner to live in for when he/she comes back from South America. It’s much harder to do now. 3/2 condos built in 2006-2007 were going for $75k at the bottom in Vegas. Now at least $135k, if (big if) you can get the inventory.

[spdrun]

I’m not talking about Vegas — I have no interest in the place and honestly don’t want to know. I’m talking about the US in general. This is definitely possible in some college towns in PA, for example, some parts of NJ, maybe even in Phoenix or Florida.

(Someone was complaining that average cap rates in a part of FL fell from 11% to 9.5%, poor babies.)

BTW, personally, as far as condos, 1/1’s are probably better than 3/2’s. Harder to find a family than a professional singleton, and if you end up with 2-3 roomies sharing the place, you can end up in the middle of a messy “breakup.”

[FlyerInHi]

My numbers were to make it relevant to someone living in SD who might buy a $600k house for sahp and kids. Pretty typical in SD. She/he could have bought an apartment at UTC or mission valley and investment properties.

[spdrun]

Still can — if he has that kind of cash and can spend $600k on a house with HOA fees, Mello-Roos, and higher taxes, he can also spend $300k on a condo in a decently run (read: strong finances thus low HOA) complex and the other $300k on 2-3 investment properties within driving distance. Not necessarily 3/2’s in Vegas 😀

He may not get filthy rich doing this in SD, but he won’t have a monthly payment and will have something left over off the side as well.

Other option is a duplex or triplex.

[Author]

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