Affairs of the heart…

[Anonymous]

I think you need to ask yourself: Is this the way I picked my first husband? Was it a good system? Not to say your marriage was bad because of that initial choice but it is a consideration. I think there is ample evidence that we make the same choices over and over again, not because they are successful, but because they are habits. Perhaps you should use some of your training (psychology, is it not?) to help you figure out what you are looking for. I think I’m an old fashion romantic, but I could be wrong; couching your question in terms of finance and economics, what do you think the outcome is going to be? You (of all people) should be able to see a little more deeply into the character of someone by how he treats others and not just you. For many couples attitudes about money are going to be critical and the key question is not whether it’s right or wrong but are your two concepts compatible?
For the record, I am amused to think that many people might consider me stingy, but I try to be generous with my time and support. I think trying to impress a woman with money is a silly thing to do, since I wouldn’t want a woman to marry me for what she imagines my net worth is; but for others it might work. When I decided to get married, it was to someone with whom I wanted to live with, not someone to fill a pre-defined role. I got lucky. On the other hand, I was content to stay single if that person never showed up.
Back to the questions 1) I considered a pre-nup but didn’t go beyond that, and 2) I think you two were talking at cross purposes. If you can’t have a conversation and clear up these expectations then how are you two going to communicate? Good luck, I wish you the best.

[Ex-SD]

Marion, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 32 years and we reared three great kids together. If my wife had displayed the philosophy that you are pushing, we would have had about three dates and I would have gone over the hill and looked for some greener pastures. You said you wanted opinions and that’s mine.

Whether you realize or not, you’re already trying to control the guy and good, capable men don’t like that………………AT ALL! (unless they’re in to S&M)

Either this guy has been burned before or he has friends who have…………..or he reads a lot of psycho babble books or articles. Whichever it is, if he’s really a good guy, you’d be wise to back off with the “I want to tell you how to spend your money” attitude. If you want to go to a nice restaurant so badly, why don’t you invite him and you pay?

[Ex-SD]

Marion, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 32 years and we reared three great kids together. If my wife had displayed the philosophy that you are pushing, we would have had about three dates and I would have gone over the hill and looked for some greener pastures. You said you wanted opinions and that’s mine.

Whether you realize or not, you’re already trying to control the guy and good, capable men don’t like that………………AT ALL! (unless they’re in to S&M)

Either this guy has been burned before or he has friends who have…………..or he reads a lot of psycho babble books or articles. Whichever it is, if he’s really a good guy, you’d be wise to back off with the “I want to tell you how to spend your money” attitude. If you want to go to a nice restaurant so badly, why don’t you invite him and you pay?

[Ex-SD]

Marion, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 32 years and we reared three great kids together. If my wife had displayed the philosophy that you are pushing, we would have had about three dates and I would have gone over the hill and looked for some greener pastures. You said you wanted opinions and that’s mine.

Whether you realize or not, you’re already trying to control the guy and good, capable men don’t like that………………AT ALL! (unless they’re in to S&M)

Either this guy has been burned before or he has friends who have…………..or he reads a lot of psycho babble books or articles. Whichever it is, if he’s really a good guy, you’d be wise to back off with the “I want to tell you how to spend your money” attitude. If you want to go to a nice restaurant so badly, why don’t you invite him and you pay?

[Ex-SD]

Marion, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 32 years and we reared three great kids together. If my wife had displayed the philosophy that you are pushing, we would have had about three dates and I would have gone over the hill and looked for some greener pastures. You said you wanted opinions and that’s mine.

Whether you realize or not, you’re already trying to control the guy and good, capable men don’t like that………………AT ALL! (unless they’re in to S&M)

Either this guy has been burned before or he has friends who have…………..or he reads a lot of psycho babble books or articles. Whichever it is, if he’s really a good guy, you’d be wise to back off with the “I want to tell you how to spend your money” attitude. If you want to go to a nice restaurant so badly, why don’t you invite him and you pay?

[Ex-SD]

Marion, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for 32 years and we reared three great kids together. If my wife had displayed the philosophy that you are pushing, we would have had about three dates and I would have gone over the hill and looked for some greener pastures. You said you wanted opinions and that’s mine.

Whether you realize or not, you’re already trying to control the guy and good, capable men don’t like that………………AT ALL! (unless they’re in to S&M)

Either this guy has been burned before or he has friends who have…………..or he reads a lot of psycho babble books or articles. Whichever it is, if he’s really a good guy, you’d be wise to back off with the “I want to tell you how to spend your money” attitude. If you want to go to a nice restaurant so badly, why don’t you invite him and you pay?

[condogrrl]

Marion: If I were a guy, I wouldn’t waste a hotdog on you.

[condogrrl]

Marion: If I were a guy, I wouldn’t waste a hotdog on you.

[condogrrl]

Marion: If I were a guy, I wouldn’t waste a hotdog on you.

[condogrrl]

Marion: If I were a guy, I wouldn’t waste a hotdog on you.

[condogrrl]

Marion: If I were a guy, I wouldn’t waste a hotdog on you.

[Arraya]

Hmmm… He smells the scent of the golddigger. She wants him to spend more money on her and can’t understand why he would be concerned with a prenup. Anybody else see the irony?

Being that it is date four and he fears for his assets and you think him cheap and a poor judge of date venues I’d say it was time to move on.

I like the fact that bugs thought this was a good case for prostitution. LOL

[Arraya]

Hmmm… He smells the scent of the golddigger. She wants him to spend more money on her and can’t understand why he would be concerned with a prenup. Anybody else see the irony?

Being that it is date four and he fears for his assets and you think him cheap and a poor judge of date venues I’d say it was time to move on.

I like the fact that bugs thought this was a good case for prostitution. LOL

[Arraya]

Hmmm… He smells the scent of the golddigger. She wants him to spend more money on her and can’t understand why he would be concerned with a prenup. Anybody else see the irony?

Being that it is date four and he fears for his assets and you think him cheap and a poor judge of date venues I’d say it was time to move on.

I like the fact that bugs thought this was a good case for prostitution. LOL

[Arraya]

Hmmm… He smells the scent of the golddigger. She wants him to spend more money on her and can’t understand why he would be concerned with a prenup. Anybody else see the irony?

Being that it is date four and he fears for his assets and you think him cheap and a poor judge of date venues I’d say it was time to move on.

I like the fact that bugs thought this was a good case for prostitution. LOL

[Author]

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