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May 10, 2011 at 10:33 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694810May 10, 2011 at 10:33 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694957
UCGal
Participant[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)
That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.
I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.
My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.
But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.
May 10, 2011 at 10:33 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #695311UCGal
Participant[quote=briansd1]
Ordinary folks are afraid of separation/divorce because they will lose the house, etc…
[/quote]I would agree with this – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
My parents would have divorced if it hadn’t been for asset splitting. There were several points where they were virtually separated while living in the same house (separate rooms, etc.)
That said – they stayed together because of the finances… YET found a way to reconnect emotionally as well. I can honestly say that they loved each other and were happily married in their golden years. Some of the stress might have been just been career related… retirement upped their happiness, overall, significantly.
I’ve seen people go through divorce under the assumption that their unhappiness was because of the relationship. Only to find themselves still unhappy (and broke) when the divorce was over.
My take away from this is – that even if you’re miserable now – you *can* work things out with a spouse, if you try, and be happy in the future.
But – if one partner is committed to getting out of a marriage, it’s hard for the other partner to hold a marriage intact. Both parties have to be willing to work towards happiness.
May 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694077UCGal
ParticipantMaybe I’m just incredibly old school… but I have a hard time understanding walking away after 25 years. You put the work in and find a compromise…
But then again, I’ve never been faced with a cheating spouse (that I know of), nor blatent lying… not saying that’s what happened here… just saying that’s something I don’t know how I’d react to…
May 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694159UCGal
ParticipantMaybe I’m just incredibly old school… but I have a hard time understanding walking away after 25 years. You put the work in and find a compromise…
But then again, I’ve never been faced with a cheating spouse (that I know of), nor blatent lying… not saying that’s what happened here… just saying that’s something I don’t know how I’d react to…
May 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694765UCGal
ParticipantMaybe I’m just incredibly old school… but I have a hard time understanding walking away after 25 years. You put the work in and find a compromise…
But then again, I’ve never been faced with a cheating spouse (that I know of), nor blatent lying… not saying that’s what happened here… just saying that’s something I don’t know how I’d react to…
May 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #694912UCGal
ParticipantMaybe I’m just incredibly old school… but I have a hard time understanding walking away after 25 years. You put the work in and find a compromise…
But then again, I’ve never been faced with a cheating spouse (that I know of), nor blatent lying… not saying that’s what happened here… just saying that’s something I don’t know how I’d react to…
May 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM in reply to: OT: holy crap…. Schwarzenegger and Shriver splitting up? #695266UCGal
ParticipantMaybe I’m just incredibly old school… but I have a hard time understanding walking away after 25 years. You put the work in and find a compromise…
But then again, I’ve never been faced with a cheating spouse (that I know of), nor blatent lying… not saying that’s what happened here… just saying that’s something I don’t know how I’d react to…
UCGal
ParticipantCurrent underwater owners have a NOT filed against them. It was filed in Jan. The NOD was last August. But they didn’t list the house till May.
I suspect this SS attempt is really an attempt to forestall the inevitable foreclosure.
It’s marked contingent – but that doesn’t mean the bank accepted it. They can *offer* a short sale price of anything they want… getting it approved is a whole ‘nuther thing.
Let’s say I owe $1M on my house… And let’s say the house is worth $600k. I can list my house for $200k, as a short sale, if I want and can find a willing realtor… But getting the bank to accept it is not realistic.
It’s the reverse of the wishing price sellers… Same house and I list it for $2M, even though it’s only worth $600k. I *can* list it for that. I won’t be able to *sell* it for that.
I don’t think there’s overt fraud… I think this is either a seller without a clue or a seller who is hoping to delay foreclosure.
UCGal
ParticipantCurrent underwater owners have a NOT filed against them. It was filed in Jan. The NOD was last August. But they didn’t list the house till May.
I suspect this SS attempt is really an attempt to forestall the inevitable foreclosure.
It’s marked contingent – but that doesn’t mean the bank accepted it. They can *offer* a short sale price of anything they want… getting it approved is a whole ‘nuther thing.
Let’s say I owe $1M on my house… And let’s say the house is worth $600k. I can list my house for $200k, as a short sale, if I want and can find a willing realtor… But getting the bank to accept it is not realistic.
It’s the reverse of the wishing price sellers… Same house and I list it for $2M, even though it’s only worth $600k. I *can* list it for that. I won’t be able to *sell* it for that.
I don’t think there’s overt fraud… I think this is either a seller without a clue or a seller who is hoping to delay foreclosure.
UCGal
ParticipantCurrent underwater owners have a NOT filed against them. It was filed in Jan. The NOD was last August. But they didn’t list the house till May.
I suspect this SS attempt is really an attempt to forestall the inevitable foreclosure.
It’s marked contingent – but that doesn’t mean the bank accepted it. They can *offer* a short sale price of anything they want… getting it approved is a whole ‘nuther thing.
Let’s say I owe $1M on my house… And let’s say the house is worth $600k. I can list my house for $200k, as a short sale, if I want and can find a willing realtor… But getting the bank to accept it is not realistic.
It’s the reverse of the wishing price sellers… Same house and I list it for $2M, even though it’s only worth $600k. I *can* list it for that. I won’t be able to *sell* it for that.
I don’t think there’s overt fraud… I think this is either a seller without a clue or a seller who is hoping to delay foreclosure.
UCGal
ParticipantCurrent underwater owners have a NOT filed against them. It was filed in Jan. The NOD was last August. But they didn’t list the house till May.
I suspect this SS attempt is really an attempt to forestall the inevitable foreclosure.
It’s marked contingent – but that doesn’t mean the bank accepted it. They can *offer* a short sale price of anything they want… getting it approved is a whole ‘nuther thing.
Let’s say I owe $1M on my house… And let’s say the house is worth $600k. I can list my house for $200k, as a short sale, if I want and can find a willing realtor… But getting the bank to accept it is not realistic.
It’s the reverse of the wishing price sellers… Same house and I list it for $2M, even though it’s only worth $600k. I *can* list it for that. I won’t be able to *sell* it for that.
I don’t think there’s overt fraud… I think this is either a seller without a clue or a seller who is hoping to delay foreclosure.
UCGal
ParticipantCurrent underwater owners have a NOT filed against them. It was filed in Jan. The NOD was last August. But they didn’t list the house till May.
I suspect this SS attempt is really an attempt to forestall the inevitable foreclosure.
It’s marked contingent – but that doesn’t mean the bank accepted it. They can *offer* a short sale price of anything they want… getting it approved is a whole ‘nuther thing.
Let’s say I owe $1M on my house… And let’s say the house is worth $600k. I can list my house for $200k, as a short sale, if I want and can find a willing realtor… But getting the bank to accept it is not realistic.
It’s the reverse of the wishing price sellers… Same house and I list it for $2M, even though it’s only worth $600k. I *can* list it for that. I won’t be able to *sell* it for that.
I don’t think there’s overt fraud… I think this is either a seller without a clue or a seller who is hoping to delay foreclosure.
UCGal
ParticipantOne thing to consider in your negotiation…
It’s not the cost of living that your potential employer cares about – it’s the “cost of labor”.
Employers don’t care if you have higher expenses compared to salary – they care if they can get an equally qualified candidate for less.
Or at least that’s what my corporate overlords have told me and my fellow employees.
If your husband is an engineer… cost of labor is on the rise in the bay area. Salaries are no longer stagnating and it’s a competitive marketplace. I have a friend who’s a vp of software for a company in Berkeley… she’s having a tough time getting offers accepted because she’s competing against google etc..
However… non engineering jobs may not be as competitive.
UCGal
ParticipantOne thing to consider in your negotiation…
It’s not the cost of living that your potential employer cares about – it’s the “cost of labor”.
Employers don’t care if you have higher expenses compared to salary – they care if they can get an equally qualified candidate for less.
Or at least that’s what my corporate overlords have told me and my fellow employees.
If your husband is an engineer… cost of labor is on the rise in the bay area. Salaries are no longer stagnating and it’s a competitive marketplace. I have a friend who’s a vp of software for a company in Berkeley… she’s having a tough time getting offers accepted because she’s competing against google etc..
However… non engineering jobs may not be as competitive.
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