[temeculaguy]

CArenter, your example just makes me feel better about how i do things, that your mother had a companion, but he had his own place and his own life, he didn’t have a role in yours. And in retrosepct, you and the Mr. turned out just fine, it is examples like yours that were the basis of my theory.

fredo, what if your pops wasn’t shacking up, what if he had a girlfriend but they lived apart, with the occasonal clandestine sleep over, would you object then? After all these years of living alone after all those years of living with a spouse, I have to admit I prefer the current version so much that I may be unfit to cohabitate, regardless of my kids age. What started as a selfless has become selfish, plus I haven’t missed a sporting event that I wanted to watch and haven’t watched a single reality t.v. show in years, it’s fantastic. Then what if, after college, one of the kids wants to move back for a bit, life is just so much simpler if you keep your own pad.

I have a soloution for the growing old part, I’ll just die young, if that fails, I have fantastic long term care insurance coverage, so I’m getting sponge baths from a pro, we will just have to work something out with the tipping. Plus those high end country club type places for oldsters, that is a good time to be single, that’s where I’ll be, 3 to 1 odds, viagra, good times. I’m a little concerned how lower back tattoos and implants will fare after 40 years once I am in my 80’s working the bingo circuit, but that’s the thing about life, embrace the little suprises.

[temeculaguy]

CArenter, your example just makes me feel better about how i do things, that your mother had a companion, but he had his own place and his own life, he didn’t have a role in yours. And in retrosepct, you and the Mr. turned out just fine, it is examples like yours that were the basis of my theory.

fredo, what if your pops wasn’t shacking up, what if he had a girlfriend but they lived apart, with the occasonal clandestine sleep over, would you object then? After all these years of living alone after all those years of living with a spouse, I have to admit I prefer the current version so much that I may be unfit to cohabitate, regardless of my kids age. What started as a selfless has become selfish, plus I haven’t missed a sporting event that I wanted to watch and haven’t watched a single reality t.v. show in years, it’s fantastic. Then what if, after college, one of the kids wants to move back for a bit, life is just so much simpler if you keep your own pad.

I have a soloution for the growing old part, I’ll just die young, if that fails, I have fantastic long term care insurance coverage, so I’m getting sponge baths from a pro, we will just have to work something out with the tipping. Plus those high end country club type places for oldsters, that is a good time to be single, that’s where I’ll be, 3 to 1 odds, viagra, good times. I’m a little concerned how lower back tattoos and implants will fare after 40 years once I am in my 80’s working the bingo circuit, but that’s the thing about life, embrace the little suprises.

[temeculaguy]

CArenter, your example just makes me feel better about how i do things, that your mother had a companion, but he had his own place and his own life, he didn’t have a role in yours. And in retrosepct, you and the Mr. turned out just fine, it is examples like yours that were the basis of my theory.

fredo, what if your pops wasn’t shacking up, what if he had a girlfriend but they lived apart, with the occasonal clandestine sleep over, would you object then? After all these years of living alone after all those years of living with a spouse, I have to admit I prefer the current version so much that I may be unfit to cohabitate, regardless of my kids age. What started as a selfless has become selfish, plus I haven’t missed a sporting event that I wanted to watch and haven’t watched a single reality t.v. show in years, it’s fantastic. Then what if, after college, one of the kids wants to move back for a bit, life is just so much simpler if you keep your own pad.

I have a soloution for the growing old part, I’ll just die young, if that fails, I have fantastic long term care insurance coverage, so I’m getting sponge baths from a pro, we will just have to work something out with the tipping. Plus those high end country club type places for oldsters, that is a good time to be single, that’s where I’ll be, 3 to 1 odds, viagra, good times. I’m a little concerned how lower back tattoos and implants will fare after 40 years once I am in my 80’s working the bingo circuit, but that’s the thing about life, embrace the little suprises.

[temeculaguy]

CArenter, your example just makes me feel better about how i do things, that your mother had a companion, but he had his own place and his own life, he didn’t have a role in yours. And in retrosepct, you and the Mr. turned out just fine, it is examples like yours that were the basis of my theory.

fredo, what if your pops wasn’t shacking up, what if he had a girlfriend but they lived apart, with the occasonal clandestine sleep over, would you object then? After all these years of living alone after all those years of living with a spouse, I have to admit I prefer the current version so much that I may be unfit to cohabitate, regardless of my kids age. What started as a selfless has become selfish, plus I haven’t missed a sporting event that I wanted to watch and haven’t watched a single reality t.v. show in years, it’s fantastic. Then what if, after college, one of the kids wants to move back for a bit, life is just so much simpler if you keep your own pad.

I have a soloution for the growing old part, I’ll just die young, if that fails, I have fantastic long term care insurance coverage, so I’m getting sponge baths from a pro, we will just have to work something out with the tipping. Plus those high end country club type places for oldsters, that is a good time to be single, that’s where I’ll be, 3 to 1 odds, viagra, good times. I’m a little concerned how lower back tattoos and implants will fare after 40 years once I am in my 80’s working the bingo circuit, but that’s the thing about life, embrace the little suprises.

[temeculaguy]

[quote=fredo4] Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment.[/quote]

There is an exception to that notion. The exception is for people who are divorced with older children. While marriage is still the best way to have and raise kids, it’s benefits dwindle as you age, after you already have children and it’s comlications increase. Let’s use me as an example. I was married for a about fifteen years and then when I found myself divorced, I read a few books asked some questions of divorced folks and children of divorce and decided I would never allow my kids to meet anyone I dated, I would never date on the nights they were with me and would never remarry until they were in college. So the years roll by and the time that they are both off on their own isn’t that far away. I recovered financially through a little hard work, got a new house, have my financial plan squared away and my retirement funds restored. I’m in my low forties and have found the balance that I never found when married, I can put my kids first, hang with my friends and take part in the hobbies I enjoy without anybody to object. I can also decide which college my kids will attend, how to pay for it, etc. I can also be in a monogomous relationship, even if it may not mean spending 24/7 with someone. I have my kids half the time so there are logistical issues compared to the weekend dad. Sure i’ve had romantic entaglements where it ended because of my rules and time constraints, but there are more fish in the sea, they understood my life before becoming involved and if they change their mind or get frustrated trying to change me, so be it. Not everything that doesn’t end in “forever” is a waste of time. Usually when I look back and analyze those failed relationships, they may not have been a gold digger but they needed me for more than companionship, more than half have washed up on one of the foreclosure sites I track, each time that happens it just reinforces my protectionist lifestyle. Many women find themselves divorced, without the means to maintain their lifestyle, send their kids to college, perhaps they have a deadbeat ex, many of them see a new man as their salvation. But it’s tricky figuring out which ones, so it’s best to treat them all guilty until proven innocent. In a variation of King Soloman’s problem solving, if they are aware that they will never be financially supported or have the ability to use the legal system to share in your property (read: prenup), that you only saved enough for your own kids education, they screen themsleves, because every woman thinks she is independant, but few are. Somewhere around date two is a good time to drop that bomb. It’s a bit underhanded to wait until after the sex starts before breaking out the manifesto.

So why would a typical guy like me ever remarry? If a woman was in a similar situation why would she? I have no big regrets about donating my last house because that was aquired in a team effort, we both had nothing when we started, I’m good with that. But the little empire I’ve built since then, I did it alone, it will not be risked. I didn’t like the Brady Bunch on T.V., I’m sure as hell not going to live it in real life.

[temeculaguy]

[quote=fredo4] Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment.[/quote]

There is an exception to that notion. The exception is for people who are divorced with older children. While marriage is still the best way to have and raise kids, it’s benefits dwindle as you age, after you already have children and it’s comlications increase. Let’s use me as an example. I was married for a about fifteen years and then when I found myself divorced, I read a few books asked some questions of divorced folks and children of divorce and decided I would never allow my kids to meet anyone I dated, I would never date on the nights they were with me and would never remarry until they were in college. So the years roll by and the time that they are both off on their own isn’t that far away. I recovered financially through a little hard work, got a new house, have my financial plan squared away and my retirement funds restored. I’m in my low forties and have found the balance that I never found when married, I can put my kids first, hang with my friends and take part in the hobbies I enjoy without anybody to object. I can also decide which college my kids will attend, how to pay for it, etc. I can also be in a monogomous relationship, even if it may not mean spending 24/7 with someone. I have my kids half the time so there are logistical issues compared to the weekend dad. Sure i’ve had romantic entaglements where it ended because of my rules and time constraints, but there are more fish in the sea, they understood my life before becoming involved and if they change their mind or get frustrated trying to change me, so be it. Not everything that doesn’t end in “forever” is a waste of time. Usually when I look back and analyze those failed relationships, they may not have been a gold digger but they needed me for more than companionship, more than half have washed up on one of the foreclosure sites I track, each time that happens it just reinforces my protectionist lifestyle. Many women find themselves divorced, without the means to maintain their lifestyle, send their kids to college, perhaps they have a deadbeat ex, many of them see a new man as their salvation. But it’s tricky figuring out which ones, so it’s best to treat them all guilty until proven innocent. In a variation of King Soloman’s problem solving, if they are aware that they will never be financially supported or have the ability to use the legal system to share in your property (read: prenup), that you only saved enough for your own kids education, they screen themsleves, because every woman thinks she is independant, but few are. Somewhere around date two is a good time to drop that bomb. It’s a bit underhanded to wait until after the sex starts before breaking out the manifesto.

So why would a typical guy like me ever remarry? If a woman was in a similar situation why would she? I have no big regrets about donating my last house because that was aquired in a team effort, we both had nothing when we started, I’m good with that. But the little empire I’ve built since then, I did it alone, it will not be risked. I didn’t like the Brady Bunch on T.V., I’m sure as hell not going to live it in real life.

[temeculaguy]

[quote=fredo4] Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment.[/quote]

There is an exception to that notion. The exception is for people who are divorced with older children. While marriage is still the best way to have and raise kids, it’s benefits dwindle as you age, after you already have children and it’s comlications increase. Let’s use me as an example. I was married for a about fifteen years and then when I found myself divorced, I read a few books asked some questions of divorced folks and children of divorce and decided I would never allow my kids to meet anyone I dated, I would never date on the nights they were with me and would never remarry until they were in college. So the years roll by and the time that they are both off on their own isn’t that far away. I recovered financially through a little hard work, got a new house, have my financial plan squared away and my retirement funds restored. I’m in my low forties and have found the balance that I never found when married, I can put my kids first, hang with my friends and take part in the hobbies I enjoy without anybody to object. I can also decide which college my kids will attend, how to pay for it, etc. I can also be in a monogomous relationship, even if it may not mean spending 24/7 with someone. I have my kids half the time so there are logistical issues compared to the weekend dad. Sure i’ve had romantic entaglements where it ended because of my rules and time constraints, but there are more fish in the sea, they understood my life before becoming involved and if they change their mind or get frustrated trying to change me, so be it. Not everything that doesn’t end in “forever” is a waste of time. Usually when I look back and analyze those failed relationships, they may not have been a gold digger but they needed me for more than companionship, more than half have washed up on one of the foreclosure sites I track, each time that happens it just reinforces my protectionist lifestyle. Many women find themselves divorced, without the means to maintain their lifestyle, send their kids to college, perhaps they have a deadbeat ex, many of them see a new man as their salvation. But it’s tricky figuring out which ones, so it’s best to treat them all guilty until proven innocent. In a variation of King Soloman’s problem solving, if they are aware that they will never be financially supported or have the ability to use the legal system to share in your property (read: prenup), that you only saved enough for your own kids education, they screen themsleves, because every woman thinks she is independant, but few are. Somewhere around date two is a good time to drop that bomb. It’s a bit underhanded to wait until after the sex starts before breaking out the manifesto.

So why would a typical guy like me ever remarry? If a woman was in a similar situation why would she? I have no big regrets about donating my last house because that was aquired in a team effort, we both had nothing when we started, I’m good with that. But the little empire I’ve built since then, I did it alone, it will not be risked. I didn’t like the Brady Bunch on T.V., I’m sure as hell not going to live it in real life.

[temeculaguy]

[quote=fredo4] Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment.[/quote]

There is an exception to that notion. The exception is for people who are divorced with older children. While marriage is still the best way to have and raise kids, it’s benefits dwindle as you age, after you already have children and it’s comlications increase. Let’s use me as an example. I was married for a about fifteen years and then when I found myself divorced, I read a few books asked some questions of divorced folks and children of divorce and decided I would never allow my kids to meet anyone I dated, I would never date on the nights they were with me and would never remarry until they were in college. So the years roll by and the time that they are both off on their own isn’t that far away. I recovered financially through a little hard work, got a new house, have my financial plan squared away and my retirement funds restored. I’m in my low forties and have found the balance that I never found when married, I can put my kids first, hang with my friends and take part in the hobbies I enjoy without anybody to object. I can also decide which college my kids will attend, how to pay for it, etc. I can also be in a monogomous relationship, even if it may not mean spending 24/7 with someone. I have my kids half the time so there are logistical issues compared to the weekend dad. Sure i’ve had romantic entaglements where it ended because of my rules and time constraints, but there are more fish in the sea, they understood my life before becoming involved and if they change their mind or get frustrated trying to change me, so be it. Not everything that doesn’t end in “forever” is a waste of time. Usually when I look back and analyze those failed relationships, they may not have been a gold digger but they needed me for more than companionship, more than half have washed up on one of the foreclosure sites I track, each time that happens it just reinforces my protectionist lifestyle. Many women find themselves divorced, without the means to maintain their lifestyle, send their kids to college, perhaps they have a deadbeat ex, many of them see a new man as their salvation. But it’s tricky figuring out which ones, so it’s best to treat them all guilty until proven innocent. In a variation of King Soloman’s problem solving, if they are aware that they will never be financially supported or have the ability to use the legal system to share in your property (read: prenup), that you only saved enough for your own kids education, they screen themsleves, because every woman thinks she is independant, but few are. Somewhere around date two is a good time to drop that bomb. It’s a bit underhanded to wait until after the sex starts before breaking out the manifesto.

So why would a typical guy like me ever remarry? If a woman was in a similar situation why would she? I have no big regrets about donating my last house because that was aquired in a team effort, we both had nothing when we started, I’m good with that. But the little empire I’ve built since then, I did it alone, it will not be risked. I didn’t like the Brady Bunch on T.V., I’m sure as hell not going to live it in real life.

[temeculaguy]

[quote=fredo4] Then there are those who figure that they’ll just keep dating and not marry so that both will stay in the “trying to please mode”, but that isn’t the answer either. There’s no depth to a relationship that’s hanging so tenuously without any real commitment.[/quote]

There is an exception to that notion. The exception is for people who are divorced with older children. While marriage is still the best way to have and raise kids, it’s benefits dwindle as you age, after you already have children and it’s comlications increase. Let’s use me as an example. I was married for a about fifteen years and then when I found myself divorced, I read a few books asked some questions of divorced folks and children of divorce and decided I would never allow my kids to meet anyone I dated, I would never date on the nights they were with me and would never remarry until they were in college. So the years roll by and the time that they are both off on their own isn’t that far away. I recovered financially through a little hard work, got a new house, have my financial plan squared away and my retirement funds restored. I’m in my low forties and have found the balance that I never found when married, I can put my kids first, hang with my friends and take part in the hobbies I enjoy without anybody to object. I can also decide which college my kids will attend, how to pay for it, etc. I can also be in a monogomous relationship, even if it may not mean spending 24/7 with someone. I have my kids half the time so there are logistical issues compared to the weekend dad. Sure i’ve had romantic entaglements where it ended because of my rules and time constraints, but there are more fish in the sea, they understood my life before becoming involved and if they change their mind or get frustrated trying to change me, so be it. Not everything that doesn’t end in “forever” is a waste of time. Usually when I look back and analyze those failed relationships, they may not have been a gold digger but they needed me for more than companionship, more than half have washed up on one of the foreclosure sites I track, each time that happens it just reinforces my protectionist lifestyle. Many women find themselves divorced, without the means to maintain their lifestyle, send their kids to college, perhaps they have a deadbeat ex, many of them see a new man as their salvation. But it’s tricky figuring out which ones, so it’s best to treat them all guilty until proven innocent. In a variation of King Soloman’s problem solving, if they are aware that they will never be financially supported or have the ability to use the legal system to share in your property (read: prenup), that you only saved enough for your own kids education, they screen themsleves, because every woman thinks she is independant, but few are. Somewhere around date two is a good time to drop that bomb. It’s a bit underhanded to wait until after the sex starts before breaking out the manifesto.

So why would a typical guy like me ever remarry? If a woman was in a similar situation why would she? I have no big regrets about donating my last house because that was aquired in a team effort, we both had nothing when we started, I’m good with that. But the little empire I’ve built since then, I did it alone, it will not be risked. I didn’t like the Brady Bunch on T.V., I’m sure as hell not going to live it in real life.

[temeculaguy]

I’m not ready to blame our society or our changing gender roles on the problems we see today. Some of these things are primal, they predate money, it’s just that money has replaced geing a good hunter or protector in modern times. Some of these women chose their mate because he was financially successful, in some cases, that was his greatest attribute. Now that some men have lost their income, she has lost her desire and ability to ignore his other faults and shortcomings. Not all women are gold diggers, but the ones that can be put in that category have flooded the market, as there is less gold out there. Same thing happens to men who seek a mate for beauty as the primary selection criteria, as that goes, so does his enthusiasm, the difference is that those situations have a steady pace, while the other has highs and lows based on the economy. The couples that either selected or grew to care about something other than looks or money, can ride out bad economies and aging skin, always have, always will. But the looks and money are not a product of the media, they are just today’s version of what was probably how cavemen and cavewomen evaluated each other, same game, different criteria.

We live longer now, we have less religious or societal pressure to stay in unhappy marriages, so the landscape has changed. Is it good or bad, I say both, for every example of a selfish divorce, i can probably find an equal number of pre 1950’s cases of abuse, infidelity or misery where the marriage stayed together because they had to, the good old days weren’t always so good.

[temeculaguy]

I’m not ready to blame our society or our changing gender roles on the problems we see today. Some of these things are primal, they predate money, it’s just that money has replaced geing a good hunter or protector in modern times. Some of these women chose their mate because he was financially successful, in some cases, that was his greatest attribute. Now that some men have lost their income, she has lost her desire and ability to ignore his other faults and shortcomings. Not all women are gold diggers, but the ones that can be put in that category have flooded the market, as there is less gold out there. Same thing happens to men who seek a mate for beauty as the primary selection criteria, as that goes, so does his enthusiasm, the difference is that those situations have a steady pace, while the other has highs and lows based on the economy. The couples that either selected or grew to care about something other than looks or money, can ride out bad economies and aging skin, always have, always will. But the looks and money are not a product of the media, they are just today’s version of what was probably how cavemen and cavewomen evaluated each other, same game, different criteria.

We live longer now, we have less religious or societal pressure to stay in unhappy marriages, so the landscape has changed. Is it good or bad, I say both, for every example of a selfish divorce, i can probably find an equal number of pre 1950’s cases of abuse, infidelity or misery where the marriage stayed together because they had to, the good old days weren’t always so good.

[temeculaguy]

I’m not ready to blame our society or our changing gender roles on the problems we see today. Some of these things are primal, they predate money, it’s just that money has replaced geing a good hunter or protector in modern times. Some of these women chose their mate because he was financially successful, in some cases, that was his greatest attribute. Now that some men have lost their income, she has lost her desire and ability to ignore his other faults and shortcomings. Not all women are gold diggers, but the ones that can be put in that category have flooded the market, as there is less gold out there. Same thing happens to men who seek a mate for beauty as the primary selection criteria, as that goes, so does his enthusiasm, the difference is that those situations have a steady pace, while the other has highs and lows based on the economy. The couples that either selected or grew to care about something other than looks or money, can ride out bad economies and aging skin, always have, always will. But the looks and money are not a product of the media, they are just today’s version of what was probably how cavemen and cavewomen evaluated each other, same game, different criteria.

We live longer now, we have less religious or societal pressure to stay in unhappy marriages, so the landscape has changed. Is it good or bad, I say both, for every example of a selfish divorce, i can probably find an equal number of pre 1950’s cases of abuse, infidelity or misery where the marriage stayed together because they had to, the good old days weren’t always so good.

[temeculaguy]

I’m not ready to blame our society or our changing gender roles on the problems we see today. Some of these things are primal, they predate money, it’s just that money has replaced geing a good hunter or protector in modern times. Some of these women chose their mate because he was financially successful, in some cases, that was his greatest attribute. Now that some men have lost their income, she has lost her desire and ability to ignore his other faults and shortcomings. Not all women are gold diggers, but the ones that can be put in that category have flooded the market, as there is less gold out there. Same thing happens to men who seek a mate for beauty as the primary selection criteria, as that goes, so does his enthusiasm, the difference is that those situations have a steady pace, while the other has highs and lows based on the economy. The couples that either selected or grew to care about something other than looks or money, can ride out bad economies and aging skin, always have, always will. But the looks and money are not a product of the media, they are just today’s version of what was probably how cavemen and cavewomen evaluated each other, same game, different criteria.

We live longer now, we have less religious or societal pressure to stay in unhappy marriages, so the landscape has changed. Is it good or bad, I say both, for every example of a selfish divorce, i can probably find an equal number of pre 1950’s cases of abuse, infidelity or misery where the marriage stayed together because they had to, the good old days weren’t always so good.

[temeculaguy]

I’m not ready to blame our society or our changing gender roles on the problems we see today. Some of these things are primal, they predate money, it’s just that money has replaced geing a good hunter or protector in modern times. Some of these women chose their mate because he was financially successful, in some cases, that was his greatest attribute. Now that some men have lost their income, she has lost her desire and ability to ignore his other faults and shortcomings. Not all women are gold diggers, but the ones that can be put in that category have flooded the market, as there is less gold out there. Same thing happens to men who seek a mate for beauty as the primary selection criteria, as that goes, so does his enthusiasm, the difference is that those situations have a steady pace, while the other has highs and lows based on the economy. The couples that either selected or grew to care about something other than looks or money, can ride out bad economies and aging skin, always have, always will. But the looks and money are not a product of the media, they are just today’s version of what was probably how cavemen and cavewomen evaluated each other, same game, different criteria.

We live longer now, we have less religious or societal pressure to stay in unhappy marriages, so the landscape has changed. Is it good or bad, I say both, for every example of a selfish divorce, i can probably find an equal number of pre 1950’s cases of abuse, infidelity or misery where the marriage stayed together because they had to, the good old days weren’t always so good.

[temeculaguy]

Here’s another one worth watching, it’s a pbs docu about the new river that feeds the salton sea.

http://www.californiaconnected.org/tv/archives/398

You gotta love Mexico!!

Near the end they show the septic trucks lining up and dumping directly into the new river, sending it right to us. With the $400 million dollar gift for border violence we just gave then, couldn’t there have been a clause about not putting poop in the river.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_River_(Mexico_%E2%80%93_United_States)

[Author]

Posts