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October 19, 2014 at 4:11 PM in reply to: The dire climate of CA public university admissions for freshmen #778984
scaredyclassic
Participantit’s just for other women. right?
guys are scared of it.
or they shoudl be.
maybe im projecting.
i remember cute women as being enticing.
now they just scare me.
i cannot fathom men who start again and try secodn families. the unbridled optimism and entusiasm simply appalls me. as do women trying to be ebautiful on facebook. and talking about their dog.
good lord, why do i even go on that stupid website. must stop…
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=Blogstar][quote=CA renter][quote=scaredyclassic]I know guys who work super hard at home and at work and are seen as basically not team player contributors.
Then post divorce the ex wives can complain of the tribulations of being a single mom while their former husband’s continue to do tons of shit.
Females believe their contributions are denigrated by men and society.
Guys feel the same[/quote]
I’ve seen two couples like this, where the husbands work outside of the home, then come home and help the kids with homework and various activities, do housework, etc…and the wives are not appreciative.
OTOH, I’ve seen far, far more couples where the men only work outside of the home and expect their wives to do almost everything else WRT the house and children, etc. Doesn’t matter how uneven the workload is (when the wives have far more work), the men feel perfectly justified in leaving their responsibilities at the door and living life as if income-earning should be their only contribution to their family’s well-being. How njtosd described her grandfather’s life is very similar to how many men behaved. Is it really any wonder why so many women were miserable in their marriages? Do you honestly not get why they were unhappy and why some might have chosen to “find themselves” after the kids had grown?[/quote]
That’s not is happening by and large. Married men work more hours than married women. Often times the work is more dangerous and physically demanding. Now that we have a broad mix of work /stay at home gender designs What I see is that the person who works less does more domestic stuff than the longer harder working person. If they work similar amounts domestic chores are still usually shared along some pretty traditional gender lines or there is a lot of overlap but it’s not often an unbalanced situation. It has always been that way and always will be.
You just want to make the case that men are worse at being partners for women than the other way around and it’s a crock. But no one ever changes.[/quote]women spend more energy worrying about children as a general rule. this is extrmely tiring and may lead them to think their contribution is therefore greater. im actually kind fo serious about this. it might be the way we’re wired. it’s exhausting to be so concerned. men probaly arent as worried abecause genetically they fiugure they’ll just make another litter.
they did some study about how men let kids wander further in department stores thna women without checking ont hem…men just arent as watchful
i’d be tired too if i worreied about m y kids liek i see women fret about theirs. i just never worried about them that much. if they’re sick i can sleep fine my wife has to stay up to be able tow ake me up promptly if someone throws up so i can clean it…
scaredyclassic
Participantit’s encouragement of some type to stay int eh fight. esp. for single women. new ahir or something.
it’s the opposite for guys. i posted a shirtless picture and got back various levels of utter repulsion. no encouragement for older dudes just older chicks..
scaredyclassic
Participantit was beautiful. right near a college. big ranch. really cheap. seemed liek it was going to be ok.
scaredyclassic
ParticipantAttracting mates requires a different attitude than maintaining a marriage.
scaredyclassic
ParticipantI’m so dumb I thought this would happen way in the future wwhen the crash was a distant memory. What a dope
scaredyclassic
ParticipantIt was a typo! Jeez. A guy can’t get a break here.
scaredyclassic
ParticipantI know guys who work super hard at home and at work and are seen as basically not team player contributors.
Then post divorce the ex wives can complain of the tribulations of being a single mom while their former husband’s continue to do tons of shit.
Females believe their contributions are denigrated by men and society.
Guys feel the same
scaredyclassic
ParticipantWait i meant 20 percent bad to good ration.
And 20 percent vague complaining to positive statements. Wait, no one gets that do they?
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=Blogstar]I am sorry CArenter, A family woman claiming to need escape from being “tired of living for other people” is very much playing the victim. Nobody made her get married to that sperm donor and have babies. OMG. I think people would have to have other reasons, selfish or not, because this excuse is shameful. Better to just say anything else as a reason.
I can’t speak to your wedding vows but “tired of living for other people” isn’t part of most couples agreements.
I do , solemnly swear that unless I get tired of living for other people…blah , blah blah…[/quote]
It’s more likely for a woman to suddenly realize life sucks and blame her spouse than the reverse. Now women will say that’s cause men are lame ass emotionally retarded slackers…which is usually not true. Usually…they’re just the same basic dude she hooked up with…
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=scaredyclassic]
Hell even other girlfriends eventually get tired of hearing the exact same complaints…when the root of it all often comes back to the guys general failures…I wonder if the tables were turned and vented at their women in the exact same way if women would just sit and listen?
No.[/quote]
There’s the rub. Do you have a problem with feelings or complaints? In women’s Venn Diagram, communications representing “Feelings” are a big circle within which “Complaints” are a much smaller circle. Men would look at the same communications and see the second circle as filling the first. And I for one love talking to my girlfriends – and with the exception of one, and I don’t perceive them as complaining regularly.
Men want women to be happy all the time – they love being around happy smiling women. Of course, that is a completely unreasonable and unattainable expectation. But when women are anything but happy, even if their spouse/boyfriend is completely out of control of the situation, the husband/bf somehow perceives it as an accusation that they’ve failed. Could someone explain this to me?
H
I don’t complain about my husband to my friends – I wouldn’t want him to do that so I don’t. And contrary to all that I’ve heard here, I married him for a lot of reasons, including the fact that I respected him (and I still do). He makes more even-headed decisions than I do (in many cases), he has a knack for business that I don’t and when the kids were littler he had the energy to come up with funny stories for them at bedtime. I’m a happy camper.[/quote]all the time?
Talk to guys. I think they’d be happy with a 2 percent percent vaguely satisfied to morose ratio.
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=Blogstar]I am sorry CArenter, A family woman claiming to need escape from being “tired of living for other people” is very much playing the victim. Nobody made her get married to that sperm donor and have babies. OMG. I think people would have to have other reasons, selfish or not, because this excuse is shameful. Better to just say anything else as a reason.
I can’t speak to your wedding vows but “tired of living for other people” isn’t part of most couples agreements.
I do , solemnly swear that unless I get tired of living for other people…blah , blah blah…[/quote]
let’s please try to return our focus to kevs ex where it belings. Kevs ex.
Kevs ex. Kev… sex.
Huh.
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=Blogstar][quote=njtosd][quote=Blogstar]I guess I has jumped around reading old comments , CaRenter.
You can label the different bad acts by gender but it doesn’t change the water seeks it’s own level thing. Since you agree with me on the water seeks it’s own level, I find it odd, or perhaps hypocritical that you decidedly favor women on break-ups. I love you like a sister CaRenter,but like my real life sisters you are biased about these things weighing in favor of women. Probably as natural as treating men like they are permanently inadequate once the nest is full but demanding slave like responsibility from them just the same. Men don;’t get what they want and need to the degree that women do under these circumstances and I have not even mentioned sex yet. In this light looking for a newer model makes more sense and does not interfere with water seeks it’s own level or make men or women worse than the other one. It’s complicated.Abandonment is interesting. There are biological forces that apply here too.
The woman knows the kids are hers. The mother in law knows the kids are hers.
Up until a few years ago the man new he had to work with or without kids and often but not always gives child support. Those are cultural aspects.So, I am not saying this stuff is ideal but if you want to look like a broad minded person on this topic and not your basic man hater, you will have to look at this topic more broadly and express your views with a nuance that reflects that you have. But nobody changes the way they are , so carry on.
I think I am going to strut now.
I don’t usually like to stifle people but if you argue back at all you will be proving my point. Back to the aforementioned strutting.[/quote]
Can I just say it is a little funny that you have said (in different words, of course) that unless CA Renter lets you have the last word, she is a man hater? That sounds a little Fred Flintstone to me. And Fred was not a bad guy, of course, but I don’t think most men aspire to be him. He was a “star” though, a word that you’ve included in your screen name (also a little funny), and he also liked to strut, so maybe . . .[/quote]
I didn’t say she was a basic man hater I was saying “if she didn’t want to look like a basic man hater” and she will be proving my point that nobody changes. Yes I am playing with scaredy’s tough guy persona in part and CaRenter probably knows that. We play around a lot here. Wilma was hot.
Bunch of random letters, you need to get off my jockstrap. I require that women point out several awesome things I did or said to every slight negative they might make a peep about. ..or else the should stifle it.[/quote]
I can’t even be in earshot of my wife venting to friends in person or on the phone. It makes me feel shitty.
scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=Blogstar][quote=njtosd][quote=Blogstar]I guess I has jumped around reading old comments , CaRenter.
You can label the different bad acts by gender but it doesn’t change the water seeks it’s own level thing. Since you agree with me on the water seeks it’s own level, I find it odd, or perhaps hypocritical that you decidedly favor women on break-ups. I love you like a sister CaRenter,but like my real life sisters you are biased about these things weighing in favor of women. Probably as natural as treating men like they are permanently inadequate once the nest is full but demanding slave like responsibility from them just the same. Men don;’t get what they want and need to the degree that women do under these circumstances and I have not even mentioned sex yet. In this light looking for a newer model makes more sense and does not interfere with water seeks it’s own level or make men or women worse than the other one. It’s complicated.Abandonment is interesting. There are biological forces that apply here too.
The woman knows the kids are hers. The mother in law knows the kids are hers.
Up until a few years ago the man new he had to work with or without kids and often but not always gives child support. Those are cultural aspects.So, I am not saying this stuff is ideal but if you want to look like a broad minded person on this topic and not your basic man hater, you will have to look at this topic more broadly and express your views with a nuance that reflects that you have. But nobody changes the way they are , so carry on.
I think I am going to strut now.
I don’t usually like to stifle people but if you argue back at all you will be proving my point. Back to the aforementioned strutting.[/quote]
Can I just say it is a little funny that you have said (in different words, of course) that unless CA Renter lets you have the last word, she is a man hater? That sounds a little Fred Flintstone to me. And Fred was not a bad guy, of course, but I don’t think most men aspire to be him. He was a “star” though, a word that you’ve included in your screen name (also a little funny), and he also liked to strut, so maybe . . .[/quote]
I didn’t say she was a basic man hater I was saying “if she didn’t want to look like a basic man hater” and she will be proving my point that nobody changes. Yes I am playing with scaredy’s tough guy persona in part and CaRenter probably knows that. We play around a lot here. Wilma was hot.
Bunch of random letters, you need to get off my jockstrap.[/quote]
Wilma was not real. Now Alice kramden from the honeymooners she was real. She helped Ralph to be better … but they could barely deal and they had no kids.
how would life have gone for Ralph in the 70s and after. Good dude. Works. Cares for his people.
she would’ve dumped his ass.
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