[cabal]

Another day, a much better state of mind. After reading the OP, I am now somewhat embarrassed for spewing my “Good Will Hunting” moment all over a public blog. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for all the thoughtful comments. I read each one carefully. Obviously I won’t address every post individually, so I’ll simply respond in general terms.

Point taken on the blatant disparity of problem scope in relation to the underclass and third world folks. Nevertheless, I can’t deny the ironic nature of increased achievement being inversely proportional to declining future contentment, at least in my case. Perhaps it’s a personality disorder. Regarding the suggestions of forced relaxation, hanging out with friends over a few drinks, living the simple life and the like, I don’t feel it’s a solution for me. I’ve been doing that to some extent and it only seems to serve as pleasant temporary distractions, not a permanent solution.

I’m going to really take some time to carefully decide what my goals and projects will be for the next ten years. No idea what will be involved, but I’m motivated to do something. All I know is that it won’t have anything to do with wealth accumulation, career, travel, or hobbies.

You folks read too much into my brief religion comment as I’m definitely on the other end of the spectrum from the bible thumping crowd. However as previously stated, I truly envy those able to be touched by spirituality. Some may say this is simply manipulation of weak minds, but I believe it can be real on a personal level and facilitate a healthy state of well being. It has always eluded me no matter how hard I’ve tried. I’ll expend effort in this area.

Short Term Plan:
-Schedule a full physical.
-Start running on a regular basis. The damn dog is going to love it.
-I will read up on Pema Chodrons views on meditation.
– I bought a memory stick and started a personal journal to my children. I’ll give it to them before I kick the bucket.
-My employer once paid for one of these expensive week long seminars on leadership effectiveness. I recalled how much it influenced and motivated me. Lots of great information including a whole section on life balance. I will find it and reread it.

Long Term Plan: TBD

Misc info asked: Late forties, married 22 yrs, 1 kid left in nest rest in college.

I sincerely hope the collective advice provided on this thread finds its way to those undergoing similar experiences. Thanks again to all.

[cabal]

Fredo – Your post suggest you are probably new to the dance studio scene. When a studio hosts a recital, they typically present 20-30 dances attempting to showcase the various genres from ballet to jazz to hip-hop. In the spirit of diversity, a few choreographs unfortunately end up appearing risque, especially to the new observer. I had a similar reaction when my daughter first joined, but quickly realize it’s innocent and simply differences in perception, which may explain why you director appeared indifferent. In other words, while one person may see hints of smut, I can assure you the dance instructors only sees art. In my experience, every dance instructor I’ve met sincerely cares about and protects their students. If you’re uncomfortable, by all means pull your child.

The issue with dance studios are the helicopter, alpha moms who relentlessly lobby the instructors on behalf of their kid for lead positions and recognition. There is nothing more volatile or entertaining than putting a bunch of “Housewives of Orange County” type moms in a waiting room with nothing to do but watch their daughters rehearse, gossip, compare boob jobs, and back stab each other. It’s brutal but happens every season, especially if your daughter is on a competitive team.

I also agree cheerleading has evolved into a competitive sport requiring as much dedication and hardwork as any other team sport. I’ve attended regional and national competitions and the energy level from both the competitors and audience rival any Charger-Raider game. It’s absolutely crazy. For us, the purpose of extracurricular activities for children is to develop an appreciation for teamwork, develop social skills and learn to compete. From that perspective, the type of activity isn’t important. The only criteria was to find an activity that our child can excel in.

[cabal]

Fredo – Your post suggest you are probably new to the dance studio scene. When a studio hosts a recital, they typically present 20-30 dances attempting to showcase the various genres from ballet to jazz to hip-hop. In the spirit of diversity, a few choreographs unfortunately end up appearing risque, especially to the new observer. I had a similar reaction when my daughter first joined, but quickly realize it’s innocent and simply differences in perception, which may explain why you director appeared indifferent. In other words, while one person may see hints of smut, I can assure you the dance instructors only sees art. In my experience, every dance instructor I’ve met sincerely cares about and protects their students. If you’re uncomfortable, by all means pull your child.

The issue with dance studios are the helicopter, alpha moms who relentlessly lobby the instructors on behalf of their kid for lead positions and recognition. There is nothing more volatile or entertaining than putting a bunch of “Housewives of Orange County” type moms in a waiting room with nothing to do but watch their daughters rehearse, gossip, compare boob jobs, and back stab each other. It’s brutal but happens every season, especially if your daughter is on a competitive team.

I also agree cheerleading has evolved into a competitive sport requiring as much dedication and hardwork as any other team sport. I’ve attended regional and national competitions and the energy level from both the competitors and audience rival any Charger-Raider game. It’s absolutely crazy. For us, the purpose of extracurricular activities for children is to develop an appreciation for teamwork, develop social skills and learn to compete. From that perspective, the type of activity isn’t important. The only criteria was to find an activity that our child can excel in.

[cabal]

Fredo – Your post suggest you are probably new to the dance studio scene. When a studio hosts a recital, they typically present 20-30 dances attempting to showcase the various genres from ballet to jazz to hip-hop. In the spirit of diversity, a few choreographs unfortunately end up appearing risque, especially to the new observer. I had a similar reaction when my daughter first joined, but quickly realize it’s innocent and simply differences in perception, which may explain why you director appeared indifferent. In other words, while one person may see hints of smut, I can assure you the dance instructors only sees art. In my experience, every dance instructor I’ve met sincerely cares about and protects their students. If you’re uncomfortable, by all means pull your child.

The issue with dance studios are the helicopter, alpha moms who relentlessly lobby the instructors on behalf of their kid for lead positions and recognition. There is nothing more volatile or entertaining than putting a bunch of “Housewives of Orange County” type moms in a waiting room with nothing to do but watch their daughters rehearse, gossip, compare boob jobs, and back stab each other. It’s brutal but happens every season, especially if your daughter is on a competitive team.

I also agree cheerleading has evolved into a competitive sport requiring as much dedication and hardwork as any other team sport. I’ve attended regional and national competitions and the energy level from both the competitors and audience rival any Charger-Raider game. It’s absolutely crazy. For us, the purpose of extracurricular activities for children is to develop an appreciation for teamwork, develop social skills and learn to compete. From that perspective, the type of activity isn’t important. The only criteria was to find an activity that our child can excel in.

[cabal]

Fredo – Your post suggest you are probably new to the dance studio scene. When a studio hosts a recital, they typically present 20-30 dances attempting to showcase the various genres from ballet to jazz to hip-hop. In the spirit of diversity, a few choreographs unfortunately end up appearing risque, especially to the new observer. I had a similar reaction when my daughter first joined, but quickly realize it’s innocent and simply differences in perception, which may explain why you director appeared indifferent. In other words, while one person may see hints of smut, I can assure you the dance instructors only sees art. In my experience, every dance instructor I’ve met sincerely cares about and protects their students. If you’re uncomfortable, by all means pull your child.

The issue with dance studios are the helicopter, alpha moms who relentlessly lobby the instructors on behalf of their kid for lead positions and recognition. There is nothing more volatile or entertaining than putting a bunch of “Housewives of Orange County” type moms in a waiting room with nothing to do but watch their daughters rehearse, gossip, compare boob jobs, and back stab each other. It’s brutal but happens every season, especially if your daughter is on a competitive team.

I also agree cheerleading has evolved into a competitive sport requiring as much dedication and hardwork as any other team sport. I’ve attended regional and national competitions and the energy level from both the competitors and audience rival any Charger-Raider game. It’s absolutely crazy. For us, the purpose of extracurricular activities for children is to develop an appreciation for teamwork, develop social skills and learn to compete. From that perspective, the type of activity isn’t important. The only criteria was to find an activity that our child can excel in.

[cabal]

Fredo – Your post suggest you are probably new to the dance studio scene. When a studio hosts a recital, they typically present 20-30 dances attempting to showcase the various genres from ballet to jazz to hip-hop. In the spirit of diversity, a few choreographs unfortunately end up appearing risque, especially to the new observer. I had a similar reaction when my daughter first joined, but quickly realize it’s innocent and simply differences in perception, which may explain why you director appeared indifferent. In other words, while one person may see hints of smut, I can assure you the dance instructors only sees art. In my experience, every dance instructor I’ve met sincerely cares about and protects their students. If you’re uncomfortable, by all means pull your child.

The issue with dance studios are the helicopter, alpha moms who relentlessly lobby the instructors on behalf of their kid for lead positions and recognition. There is nothing more volatile or entertaining than putting a bunch of “Housewives of Orange County” type moms in a waiting room with nothing to do but watch their daughters rehearse, gossip, compare boob jobs, and back stab each other. It’s brutal but happens every season, especially if your daughter is on a competitive team.

I also agree cheerleading has evolved into a competitive sport requiring as much dedication and hardwork as any other team sport. I’ve attended regional and national competitions and the energy level from both the competitors and audience rival any Charger-Raider game. It’s absolutely crazy. For us, the purpose of extracurricular activities for children is to develop an appreciation for teamwork, develop social skills and learn to compete. From that perspective, the type of activity isn’t important. The only criteria was to find an activity that our child can excel in.

[cabal]

[quote=BillS78][quote=cabal]If you don’t mind further sharing…

– Have you received pestering calls from bill collectors?

– What has happened to your credit score?

– Who is your lender?

– Are you current on property taxes?

– Are you concerned about qualifying for another mortgage?

FYI – I don’t agree with everything SD R says, but his comments are usually well balanced, measured, and insightful. He adds a lot of value to this board.[/quote] – I had a lot of calls in the first few months and that was when I thought a NOD would be sent out, then almost nothing for a while, more calls again last summer/fall and then nothing again.

– My FICO has dropped slightly but that’s due to canceling some credit cards. I’m still in the high 700’s.

– I’m not mentioning my lender, I don’t need bitter crazies from here trying to track me down.

– I think so, you’d have to ask my lender. My property taxes are included in the monthly payment. If they weren’t being paid it seems like the county would have taken the property by now.

– I’m not at all concerned, just want this taken care of by the end of next year. I’m thinking of taking a year to travel around the world or maybe join a band and go on tour one last time.[/quote]

I’m stunned you credit score hasn’t been compromised because it means you are being reported to the credit agencies as current? If you have a recent credit report, I would be interested in seeing how your lender is reporting your payment. For people undergoing 3 month loan mod trials, I’ve read the reduced payments are reported as 90+ days late, resulting in a 100+ point debit to their credit score.

[cabal]

[quote=BillS78][quote=cabal]If you don’t mind further sharing…

– Have you received pestering calls from bill collectors?

– What has happened to your credit score?

– Who is your lender?

– Are you current on property taxes?

– Are you concerned about qualifying for another mortgage?

FYI – I don’t agree with everything SD R says, but his comments are usually well balanced, measured, and insightful. He adds a lot of value to this board.[/quote] – I had a lot of calls in the first few months and that was when I thought a NOD would be sent out, then almost nothing for a while, more calls again last summer/fall and then nothing again.

– My FICO has dropped slightly but that’s due to canceling some credit cards. I’m still in the high 700’s.

– I’m not mentioning my lender, I don’t need bitter crazies from here trying to track me down.

– I think so, you’d have to ask my lender. My property taxes are included in the monthly payment. If they weren’t being paid it seems like the county would have taken the property by now.

– I’m not at all concerned, just want this taken care of by the end of next year. I’m thinking of taking a year to travel around the world or maybe join a band and go on tour one last time.[/quote]

I’m stunned you credit score hasn’t been compromised because it means you are being reported to the credit agencies as current? If you have a recent credit report, I would be interested in seeing how your lender is reporting your payment. For people undergoing 3 month loan mod trials, I’ve read the reduced payments are reported as 90+ days late, resulting in a 100+ point debit to their credit score.

[cabal]

[quote=BillS78][quote=cabal]If you don’t mind further sharing…

– Have you received pestering calls from bill collectors?

– What has happened to your credit score?

– Who is your lender?

– Are you current on property taxes?

– Are you concerned about qualifying for another mortgage?

FYI – I don’t agree with everything SD R says, but his comments are usually well balanced, measured, and insightful. He adds a lot of value to this board.[/quote] – I had a lot of calls in the first few months and that was when I thought a NOD would be sent out, then almost nothing for a while, more calls again last summer/fall and then nothing again.

– My FICO has dropped slightly but that’s due to canceling some credit cards. I’m still in the high 700’s.

– I’m not mentioning my lender, I don’t need bitter crazies from here trying to track me down.

– I think so, you’d have to ask my lender. My property taxes are included in the monthly payment. If they weren’t being paid it seems like the county would have taken the property by now.

– I’m not at all concerned, just want this taken care of by the end of next year. I’m thinking of taking a year to travel around the world or maybe join a band and go on tour one last time.[/quote]

I’m stunned you credit score hasn’t been compromised because it means you are being reported to the credit agencies as current? If you have a recent credit report, I would be interested in seeing how your lender is reporting your payment. For people undergoing 3 month loan mod trials, I’ve read the reduced payments are reported as 90+ days late, resulting in a 100+ point debit to their credit score.

[cabal]

[quote=BillS78][quote=cabal]If you don’t mind further sharing…

– Have you received pestering calls from bill collectors?

– What has happened to your credit score?

– Who is your lender?

– Are you current on property taxes?

– Are you concerned about qualifying for another mortgage?

FYI – I don’t agree with everything SD R says, but his comments are usually well balanced, measured, and insightful. He adds a lot of value to this board.[/quote] – I had a lot of calls in the first few months and that was when I thought a NOD would be sent out, then almost nothing for a while, more calls again last summer/fall and then nothing again.

– My FICO has dropped slightly but that’s due to canceling some credit cards. I’m still in the high 700’s.

– I’m not mentioning my lender, I don’t need bitter crazies from here trying to track me down.

– I think so, you’d have to ask my lender. My property taxes are included in the monthly payment. If they weren’t being paid it seems like the county would have taken the property by now.

– I’m not at all concerned, just want this taken care of by the end of next year. I’m thinking of taking a year to travel around the world or maybe join a band and go on tour one last time.[/quote]

I’m stunned you credit score hasn’t been compromised because it means you are being reported to the credit agencies as current? If you have a recent credit report, I would be interested in seeing how your lender is reporting your payment. For people undergoing 3 month loan mod trials, I’ve read the reduced payments are reported as 90+ days late, resulting in a 100+ point debit to their credit score.

[cabal]

[quote=BillS78][quote=cabal]If you don’t mind further sharing…

– Have you received pestering calls from bill collectors?

– What has happened to your credit score?

– Who is your lender?

– Are you current on property taxes?

– Are you concerned about qualifying for another mortgage?

FYI – I don’t agree with everything SD R says, but his comments are usually well balanced, measured, and insightful. He adds a lot of value to this board.[/quote] – I had a lot of calls in the first few months and that was when I thought a NOD would be sent out, then almost nothing for a while, more calls again last summer/fall and then nothing again.

– My FICO has dropped slightly but that’s due to canceling some credit cards. I’m still in the high 700’s.

– I’m not mentioning my lender, I don’t need bitter crazies from here trying to track me down.

– I think so, you’d have to ask my lender. My property taxes are included in the monthly payment. If they weren’t being paid it seems like the county would have taken the property by now.

– I’m not at all concerned, just want this taken care of by the end of next year. I’m thinking of taking a year to travel around the world or maybe join a band and go on tour one last time.[/quote]

I’m stunned you credit score hasn’t been compromised because it means you are being reported to the credit agencies as current? If you have a recent credit report, I would be interested in seeing how your lender is reporting your payment. For people undergoing 3 month loan mod trials, I’ve read the reduced payments are reported as 90+ days late, resulting in a 100+ point debit to their credit score.

[cabal]

[quote=jpinpb]Price – something reasonable – I know, that’s relative. My preference is not go over 30k.

Style – The Camaro SS w/RS package, I’m looking at 37k, but I can get a fleet wholesale price and could pick it up for maybe 31k. But I’m not totally sold on it. I had a ’68 Camaro back in the day. A new Camaro is a nice retro nostalgia car and I hear great things about it, but I don’t need a muscle car. At the same time, I don’t want a boring, conservative car. I would like something sporty.

Speed – I don’t need a race car, but I would like something that will move if I need to.

MPG – something that will not suck down the dead dinos. Surprisingly, the Camaro gets decent mileage.

Seats – I had the two-seater TT and that’s fine by me. No kids and unless I’m winning a few million in the lottery, not planning on IVF or anything crazy. No kids planned. Two-seater is not a problem. Don’t plan on chauffeuring anyone around.

Doors – 2 or 4 is fine.

Definitely manual.

Size – not looking for a Hummer. Even after the accident, I still like small.

Another convertible would be great. Figure I’ll be settling for a sunrooof.

I thought about the Challenger, too. I think I’m partial to the Camaro. I also thought about a Mustang, since I used to have one of those, too. I drove that thing into the ground back in the day when I never took care of cars. That oil would get as thick as pea soup. I vouch they they are built tough.

I also hear that in 2011 I will be able to get a Fiat Abarth here in the U.S. and that seems like something fun.

I also wouldn’t mind getting another TT, but I think that’ll be out of my practical budget.[/quote]

My recommendation is to get the Camaro with the V8 (2ss) if you can afford it. You only live once. It’s going to be a collectors item in 30 years guaranteed, just like the late 60s version. I love both cars. I owned a 70 Challenger RT as a teenager, but my dream car has always been the 69 Camaro.

[img_assist|nid=13096|title=1969 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=367|height=277]

[img_assist|nid=13097|title=2010 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=400|height=300]

[cabal]

[quote=jpinpb]Price – something reasonable – I know, that’s relative. My preference is not go over 30k.

Style – The Camaro SS w/RS package, I’m looking at 37k, but I can get a fleet wholesale price and could pick it up for maybe 31k. But I’m not totally sold on it. I had a ’68 Camaro back in the day. A new Camaro is a nice retro nostalgia car and I hear great things about it, but I don’t need a muscle car. At the same time, I don’t want a boring, conservative car. I would like something sporty.

Speed – I don’t need a race car, but I would like something that will move if I need to.

MPG – something that will not suck down the dead dinos. Surprisingly, the Camaro gets decent mileage.

Seats – I had the two-seater TT and that’s fine by me. No kids and unless I’m winning a few million in the lottery, not planning on IVF or anything crazy. No kids planned. Two-seater is not a problem. Don’t plan on chauffeuring anyone around.

Doors – 2 or 4 is fine.

Definitely manual.

Size – not looking for a Hummer. Even after the accident, I still like small.

Another convertible would be great. Figure I’ll be settling for a sunrooof.

I thought about the Challenger, too. I think I’m partial to the Camaro. I also thought about a Mustang, since I used to have one of those, too. I drove that thing into the ground back in the day when I never took care of cars. That oil would get as thick as pea soup. I vouch they they are built tough.

I also hear that in 2011 I will be able to get a Fiat Abarth here in the U.S. and that seems like something fun.

I also wouldn’t mind getting another TT, but I think that’ll be out of my practical budget.[/quote]

My recommendation is to get the Camaro with the V8 (2ss) if you can afford it. You only live once. It’s going to be a collectors item in 30 years guaranteed, just like the late 60s version. I love both cars. I owned a 70 Challenger RT as a teenager, but my dream car has always been the 69 Camaro.

[img_assist|nid=13096|title=1969 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=367|height=277]

[img_assist|nid=13097|title=2010 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=400|height=300]

[cabal]

[quote=jpinpb]Price – something reasonable – I know, that’s relative. My preference is not go over 30k.

Style – The Camaro SS w/RS package, I’m looking at 37k, but I can get a fleet wholesale price and could pick it up for maybe 31k. But I’m not totally sold on it. I had a ’68 Camaro back in the day. A new Camaro is a nice retro nostalgia car and I hear great things about it, but I don’t need a muscle car. At the same time, I don’t want a boring, conservative car. I would like something sporty.

Speed – I don’t need a race car, but I would like something that will move if I need to.

MPG – something that will not suck down the dead dinos. Surprisingly, the Camaro gets decent mileage.

Seats – I had the two-seater TT and that’s fine by me. No kids and unless I’m winning a few million in the lottery, not planning on IVF or anything crazy. No kids planned. Two-seater is not a problem. Don’t plan on chauffeuring anyone around.

Doors – 2 or 4 is fine.

Definitely manual.

Size – not looking for a Hummer. Even after the accident, I still like small.

Another convertible would be great. Figure I’ll be settling for a sunrooof.

I thought about the Challenger, too. I think I’m partial to the Camaro. I also thought about a Mustang, since I used to have one of those, too. I drove that thing into the ground back in the day when I never took care of cars. That oil would get as thick as pea soup. I vouch they they are built tough.

I also hear that in 2011 I will be able to get a Fiat Abarth here in the U.S. and that seems like something fun.

I also wouldn’t mind getting another TT, but I think that’ll be out of my practical budget.[/quote]

My recommendation is to get the Camaro with the V8 (2ss) if you can afford it. You only live once. It’s going to be a collectors item in 30 years guaranteed, just like the late 60s version. I love both cars. I owned a 70 Challenger RT as a teenager, but my dream car has always been the 69 Camaro.

[img_assist|nid=13096|title=1969 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=367|height=277]

[img_assist|nid=13097|title=2010 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=400|height=300]

[cabal]

[quote=jpinpb]Price – something reasonable – I know, that’s relative. My preference is not go over 30k.

Style – The Camaro SS w/RS package, I’m looking at 37k, but I can get a fleet wholesale price and could pick it up for maybe 31k. But I’m not totally sold on it. I had a ’68 Camaro back in the day. A new Camaro is a nice retro nostalgia car and I hear great things about it, but I don’t need a muscle car. At the same time, I don’t want a boring, conservative car. I would like something sporty.

Speed – I don’t need a race car, but I would like something that will move if I need to.

MPG – something that will not suck down the dead dinos. Surprisingly, the Camaro gets decent mileage.

Seats – I had the two-seater TT and that’s fine by me. No kids and unless I’m winning a few million in the lottery, not planning on IVF or anything crazy. No kids planned. Two-seater is not a problem. Don’t plan on chauffeuring anyone around.

Doors – 2 or 4 is fine.

Definitely manual.

Size – not looking for a Hummer. Even after the accident, I still like small.

Another convertible would be great. Figure I’ll be settling for a sunrooof.

I thought about the Challenger, too. I think I’m partial to the Camaro. I also thought about a Mustang, since I used to have one of those, too. I drove that thing into the ground back in the day when I never took care of cars. That oil would get as thick as pea soup. I vouch they they are built tough.

I also hear that in 2011 I will be able to get a Fiat Abarth here in the U.S. and that seems like something fun.

I also wouldn’t mind getting another TT, but I think that’ll be out of my practical budget.[/quote]

My recommendation is to get the Camaro with the V8 (2ss) if you can afford it. You only live once. It’s going to be a collectors item in 30 years guaranteed, just like the late 60s version. I love both cars. I owned a 70 Challenger RT as a teenager, but my dream car has always been the 69 Camaro.

[img_assist|nid=13096|title=1969 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=367|height=277]

[img_assist|nid=13097|title=2010 Camaro|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=400|height=300]

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