Totally OT: Governator sires child with Home worker…

[davelj]

[quote=deadzone]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

Indeed, clearly.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[davelj]

[quote=jpinpb]

My brother was married for 10 years. He fell out of love. He wanted to be w/other women. He did not cheat on his wife. He explained to her that it was better for them to divorce. He did not want to deceive her. He wanted her to be happy and find somone who loved her. She was hurt at the time, but now is happy. I think it would’ve been more traumatic for her if he cheated on her. [/quote]

Which is exactly how it’s supposed to be handled. I think the typical husband, however, reasons as follows: “I love my wife and family but I have ‘needs’. So long as my wife and family don’t know about how I go about satisfying them then it’s as if it didn’t happen. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But if I try to divorce, there will be a long-term shitstorm from which recovery will be both expensive and emotionally draining. Therefore I will gamble that I won’t get caught because I like the odds and the potential asymmetric payoff.” Frankly, it’s the family-relationship version of kicking the can down the road. I think it’s that simple. It may not be particularly realistic – but if you’re really confident then I can see how many men sell themselves on this strategy.

And here’s the reality – many men go to their graves without their families knowing about their extracurricular activities. On the other hand, a large number get caught as well. So, it’s a risky strategy.

[scaredyclassic]

It’s not really risky if you have no feelings.

[scaredyclassic]

It’s not really risky if you have no feelings.

[scaredyclassic]

It’s not really risky if you have no feelings.

[scaredyclassic]

It’s not really risky if you have no feelings.

[scaredyclassic]

It’s not really risky if you have no feelings.

[zzz]

[quote=deadzone][quote=davelj][quote=walterwhite]I like cake but it’s also good to have a spare Twinkie. Why not at least try to have your cake and eat it too. You might get away with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.[/quote]

And therein lies one big problem. Many men (and women – but I’m going to focus on men here) want to have their cake and eat it too. They enter into marriage because they want kids and the stability of a wife-partner. But they have no intention of being faithful. They view the whole arrangement as just being part of life – you have your wife and kids, and then you have your affairs on the side. A large proportion of men enter into marriage with the belief that this is just how men are supposed to lead their lives. I’m not saying it’s right – I’m just saying it’s prevalent. I have many married male friends that, if we were in a bar somewhere and they started trying to pick up a woman and I reminded them of their marriage… they would break up in laughter at the comment, assuming it was a joke.[/quote]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

I agree with Dave. I think most people underestimate how much infidelity there actually is. I also think most people underestimate how many unfulfilled marriages there are. I used to be naive and believe most married people do not cheat, but OPPORTUNITY is the key. I’ve thankfully never been cheated on – well at least not that I know of :-), nor do I believe in it, but I’m amazed how many people do. People cheat when given the opp and believe it will not come back to them. There are a lot of people, men and women who appear conservative, happy, fulfilled, etc. You may know both people in the coupledom, but take one of them on a trip, business or boys/girls weekend, and then observe. I have seen cheating happen far too often over the years.

I have asked some of these people why the cheat. They tell me they love their spouse, they love their kids, but if you had to eat Italian, Mexican, Chinese, etc every night, sometimes you just want Greek food. Other people cheat because they are insecure and need more admiration, adoration, whatever strokes their ego. They want the companionship, want to come home to share a warm meal, they like the family life, but just because they already have the latest greatest HDTV, when a new one comes out, sometimes they just have to have the new one. they want that feel good high.

I also agree with Brian that there is a societal desire to see people marry/ have kids. When married people with kids observe people who have been dating for some time, or a couple who’s married but childless, they constantly ask “when are you getting married” or “when are you having kids”, or try to sell you on why both are great. First off, its no ones damn business, and what if someone cannot bear children due to health issues? Or what if one person desperately wants to get married and the other doesnt? Or what if neither believe in marriage nor kids? Either way, i find these types of incessant questions completely inappropriate. I notice people doing it professionally all the time – interoffice, networking, clients, etc. Its like asking the married people if they are really happy in marriage, how often they have sex, do they get their wife to orgasm? My old boss told me he tired of the questions of when he and his wife would have kids, so he finally started responding: “Well I’m having sex at 9 tonight with my wife, do you want to come observe or shall I just phone you after to let you know how it went?”

If you want to get married and have kids, great. If you don’t, thats great too. If you can’t, that sucks and no one needs to rub it in your face. But its not other people’s job to convince either group why its good or bad, or ask constantly about how its going.

[zzz]

[quote=deadzone][quote=davelj][quote=walterwhite]I like cake but it’s also good to have a spare Twinkie. Why not at least try to have your cake and eat it too. You might get away with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.[/quote]

And therein lies one big problem. Many men (and women – but I’m going to focus on men here) want to have their cake and eat it too. They enter into marriage because they want kids and the stability of a wife-partner. But they have no intention of being faithful. They view the whole arrangement as just being part of life – you have your wife and kids, and then you have your affairs on the side. A large proportion of men enter into marriage with the belief that this is just how men are supposed to lead their lives. I’m not saying it’s right – I’m just saying it’s prevalent. I have many married male friends that, if we were in a bar somewhere and they started trying to pick up a woman and I reminded them of their marriage… they would break up in laughter at the comment, assuming it was a joke.[/quote]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

I agree with Dave. I think most people underestimate how much infidelity there actually is. I also think most people underestimate how many unfulfilled marriages there are. I used to be naive and believe most married people do not cheat, but OPPORTUNITY is the key. I’ve thankfully never been cheated on – well at least not that I know of :-), nor do I believe in it, but I’m amazed how many people do. People cheat when given the opp and believe it will not come back to them. There are a lot of people, men and women who appear conservative, happy, fulfilled, etc. You may know both people in the coupledom, but take one of them on a trip, business or boys/girls weekend, and then observe. I have seen cheating happen far too often over the years.

I have asked some of these people why the cheat. They tell me they love their spouse, they love their kids, but if you had to eat Italian, Mexican, Chinese, etc every night, sometimes you just want Greek food. Other people cheat because they are insecure and need more admiration, adoration, whatever strokes their ego. They want the companionship, want to come home to share a warm meal, they like the family life, but just because they already have the latest greatest HDTV, when a new one comes out, sometimes they just have to have the new one. they want that feel good high.

I also agree with Brian that there is a societal desire to see people marry/ have kids. When married people with kids observe people who have been dating for some time, or a couple who’s married but childless, they constantly ask “when are you getting married” or “when are you having kids”, or try to sell you on why both are great. First off, its no ones damn business, and what if someone cannot bear children due to health issues? Or what if one person desperately wants to get married and the other doesnt? Or what if neither believe in marriage nor kids? Either way, i find these types of incessant questions completely inappropriate. I notice people doing it professionally all the time – interoffice, networking, clients, etc. Its like asking the married people if they are really happy in marriage, how often they have sex, do they get their wife to orgasm? My old boss told me he tired of the questions of when he and his wife would have kids, so he finally started responding: “Well I’m having sex at 9 tonight with my wife, do you want to come observe or shall I just phone you after to let you know how it went?”

If you want to get married and have kids, great. If you don’t, thats great too. If you can’t, that sucks and no one needs to rub it in your face. But its not other people’s job to convince either group why its good or bad, or ask constantly about how its going.

[zzz]

[quote=deadzone][quote=davelj][quote=walterwhite]I like cake but it’s also good to have a spare Twinkie. Why not at least try to have your cake and eat it too. You might get away with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.[/quote]

And therein lies one big problem. Many men (and women – but I’m going to focus on men here) want to have their cake and eat it too. They enter into marriage because they want kids and the stability of a wife-partner. But they have no intention of being faithful. They view the whole arrangement as just being part of life – you have your wife and kids, and then you have your affairs on the side. A large proportion of men enter into marriage with the belief that this is just how men are supposed to lead their lives. I’m not saying it’s right – I’m just saying it’s prevalent. I have many married male friends that, if we were in a bar somewhere and they started trying to pick up a woman and I reminded them of their marriage… they would break up in laughter at the comment, assuming it was a joke.[/quote]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

I agree with Dave. I think most people underestimate how much infidelity there actually is. I also think most people underestimate how many unfulfilled marriages there are. I used to be naive and believe most married people do not cheat, but OPPORTUNITY is the key. I’ve thankfully never been cheated on – well at least not that I know of :-), nor do I believe in it, but I’m amazed how many people do. People cheat when given the opp and believe it will not come back to them. There are a lot of people, men and women who appear conservative, happy, fulfilled, etc. You may know both people in the coupledom, but take one of them on a trip, business or boys/girls weekend, and then observe. I have seen cheating happen far too often over the years.

I have asked some of these people why the cheat. They tell me they love their spouse, they love their kids, but if you had to eat Italian, Mexican, Chinese, etc every night, sometimes you just want Greek food. Other people cheat because they are insecure and need more admiration, adoration, whatever strokes their ego. They want the companionship, want to come home to share a warm meal, they like the family life, but just because they already have the latest greatest HDTV, when a new one comes out, sometimes they just have to have the new one. they want that feel good high.

I also agree with Brian that there is a societal desire to see people marry/ have kids. When married people with kids observe people who have been dating for some time, or a couple who’s married but childless, they constantly ask “when are you getting married” or “when are you having kids”, or try to sell you on why both are great. First off, its no ones damn business, and what if someone cannot bear children due to health issues? Or what if one person desperately wants to get married and the other doesnt? Or what if neither believe in marriage nor kids? Either way, i find these types of incessant questions completely inappropriate. I notice people doing it professionally all the time – interoffice, networking, clients, etc. Its like asking the married people if they are really happy in marriage, how often they have sex, do they get their wife to orgasm? My old boss told me he tired of the questions of when he and his wife would have kids, so he finally started responding: “Well I’m having sex at 9 tonight with my wife, do you want to come observe or shall I just phone you after to let you know how it went?”

If you want to get married and have kids, great. If you don’t, thats great too. If you can’t, that sucks and no one needs to rub it in your face. But its not other people’s job to convince either group why its good or bad, or ask constantly about how its going.

[zzz]

[quote=deadzone][quote=davelj][quote=walterwhite]I like cake but it’s also good to have a spare Twinkie. Why not at least try to have your cake and eat it too. You might get away with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.[/quote]

And therein lies one big problem. Many men (and women – but I’m going to focus on men here) want to have their cake and eat it too. They enter into marriage because they want kids and the stability of a wife-partner. But they have no intention of being faithful. They view the whole arrangement as just being part of life – you have your wife and kids, and then you have your affairs on the side. A large proportion of men enter into marriage with the belief that this is just how men are supposed to lead their lives. I’m not saying it’s right – I’m just saying it’s prevalent. I have many married male friends that, if we were in a bar somewhere and they started trying to pick up a woman and I reminded them of their marriage… they would break up in laughter at the comment, assuming it was a joke.[/quote]

Clearly Dave you are not married.[/quote]

I agree with Dave. I think most people underestimate how much infidelity there actually is. I also think most people underestimate how many unfulfilled marriages there are. I used to be naive and believe most married people do not cheat, but OPPORTUNITY is the key. I’ve thankfully never been cheated on – well at least not that I know of :-), nor do I believe in it, but I’m amazed how many people do. People cheat when given the opp and believe it will not come back to them. There are a lot of people, men and women who appear conservative, happy, fulfilled, etc. You may know both people in the coupledom, but take one of them on a trip, business or boys/girls weekend, and then observe. I have seen cheating happen far too often over the years.

I have asked some of these people why the cheat. They tell me they love their spouse, they love their kids, but if you had to eat Italian, Mexican, Chinese, etc every night, sometimes you just want Greek food. Other people cheat because they are insecure and need more admiration, adoration, whatever strokes their ego. They want the companionship, want to come home to share a warm meal, they like the family life, but just because they already have the latest greatest HDTV, when a new one comes out, sometimes they just have to have the new one. they want that feel good high.

I also agree with Brian that there is a societal desire to see people marry/ have kids. When married people with kids observe people who have been dating for some time, or a couple who’s married but childless, they constantly ask “when are you getting married” or “when are you having kids”, or try to sell you on why both are great. First off, its no ones damn business, and what if someone cannot bear children due to health issues? Or what if one person desperately wants to get married and the other doesnt? Or what if neither believe in marriage nor kids? Either way, i find these types of incessant questions completely inappropriate. I notice people doing it professionally all the time – interoffice, networking, clients, etc. Its like asking the married people if they are really happy in marriage, how often they have sex, do they get their wife to orgasm? My old boss told me he tired of the questions of when he and his wife would have kids, so he finally started responding: “Well I’m having sex at 9 tonight with my wife, do you want to come observe or shall I just phone you after to let you know how it went?”

If you want to get married and have kids, great. If you don’t, thats great too. If you can’t, that sucks and no one needs to rub it in your face. But its not other people’s job to convince either group why its good or bad, or ask constantly about how its going.

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