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March 27, 2010 at 12:19 AM #532964March 27, 2010 at 12:24 AM #532046scaredyclassicParticipant
i just can’t believe the ortgage continues to be paid. i guess i cannot see myself doing it. i bail. it seems, well, rational. man, people are dogged and refuse to let go. i suppose it’s all rationalf rom their point of view. ok, i retract. theya re acting rationally.
March 27, 2010 at 12:24 AM #532175scaredyclassicParticipanti just can’t believe the ortgage continues to be paid. i guess i cannot see myself doing it. i bail. it seems, well, rational. man, people are dogged and refuse to let go. i suppose it’s all rationalf rom their point of view. ok, i retract. theya re acting rationally.
March 27, 2010 at 12:24 AM #532626scaredyclassicParticipanti just can’t believe the ortgage continues to be paid. i guess i cannot see myself doing it. i bail. it seems, well, rational. man, people are dogged and refuse to let go. i suppose it’s all rationalf rom their point of view. ok, i retract. theya re acting rationally.
March 27, 2010 at 12:24 AM #532723scaredyclassicParticipanti just can’t believe the ortgage continues to be paid. i guess i cannot see myself doing it. i bail. it seems, well, rational. man, people are dogged and refuse to let go. i suppose it’s all rationalf rom their point of view. ok, i retract. theya re acting rationally.
March 27, 2010 at 12:24 AM #532984scaredyclassicParticipanti just can’t believe the ortgage continues to be paid. i guess i cannot see myself doing it. i bail. it seems, well, rational. man, people are dogged and refuse to let go. i suppose it’s all rationalf rom their point of view. ok, i retract. theya re acting rationally.
March 27, 2010 at 8:13 AM #532085jpinpbParticipantI’ve avoided getting into this debate b/c for the most part people will not likely change their opinions about marriage. I’d just like to say that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50% of people married must be happy. I don’t buy into the notion that people will not divorce b/c of the cost. It has not been a deterrent to the 50% that got divorced. The old saying – why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!
If someone is unhappy in their marriage, they will divorce regardless of the cost. I know people that are very happy in their marriage. I also know people that have suffered and no amount of money would be cause to continue to be married. Some marriages on the exterior appeared fine and I was surprised to hear about the divorce. That person is paying dearly for the divorce, but very happy w/the decision in spite of the cost.
Those who say they will not divorce b/c of the cost are coming up w/an excuse to stay married for whatever reason. Because they want to be miserable or their marriage isn’t as bad as they think or they are lazy or they just want to complain.
[quote=davelj]
The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. [/quote]I don’t have any kids, though for a very long time I desired children. The universe had a say in that. Here I also understand both sides. The world is overpopulated, I agree. HOWEVER, watching my friends and family w/children, I beg to differ on having children as being a selfish act. I think having kids has to be the most selfless act a person can do. It takes your time, energy, money, effort and most important your love. You sacrifice your life to your children. Far from being selfish.
That’s not to say that their are parents that neglect their children or have absolutely no business having kids. That’s another topic for another day, but I’d go on a limb and say for those, it was by accident they had kids and not intended. Though there are also those accidents that were blessings anyway.
March 27, 2010 at 8:13 AM #532216jpinpbParticipantI’ve avoided getting into this debate b/c for the most part people will not likely change their opinions about marriage. I’d just like to say that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50% of people married must be happy. I don’t buy into the notion that people will not divorce b/c of the cost. It has not been a deterrent to the 50% that got divorced. The old saying – why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!
If someone is unhappy in their marriage, they will divorce regardless of the cost. I know people that are very happy in their marriage. I also know people that have suffered and no amount of money would be cause to continue to be married. Some marriages on the exterior appeared fine and I was surprised to hear about the divorce. That person is paying dearly for the divorce, but very happy w/the decision in spite of the cost.
Those who say they will not divorce b/c of the cost are coming up w/an excuse to stay married for whatever reason. Because they want to be miserable or their marriage isn’t as bad as they think or they are lazy or they just want to complain.
[quote=davelj]
The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. [/quote]I don’t have any kids, though for a very long time I desired children. The universe had a say in that. Here I also understand both sides. The world is overpopulated, I agree. HOWEVER, watching my friends and family w/children, I beg to differ on having children as being a selfish act. I think having kids has to be the most selfless act a person can do. It takes your time, energy, money, effort and most important your love. You sacrifice your life to your children. Far from being selfish.
That’s not to say that their are parents that neglect their children or have absolutely no business having kids. That’s another topic for another day, but I’d go on a limb and say for those, it was by accident they had kids and not intended. Though there are also those accidents that were blessings anyway.
March 27, 2010 at 8:13 AM #532666jpinpbParticipantI’ve avoided getting into this debate b/c for the most part people will not likely change their opinions about marriage. I’d just like to say that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50% of people married must be happy. I don’t buy into the notion that people will not divorce b/c of the cost. It has not been a deterrent to the 50% that got divorced. The old saying – why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!
If someone is unhappy in their marriage, they will divorce regardless of the cost. I know people that are very happy in their marriage. I also know people that have suffered and no amount of money would be cause to continue to be married. Some marriages on the exterior appeared fine and I was surprised to hear about the divorce. That person is paying dearly for the divorce, but very happy w/the decision in spite of the cost.
Those who say they will not divorce b/c of the cost are coming up w/an excuse to stay married for whatever reason. Because they want to be miserable or their marriage isn’t as bad as they think or they are lazy or they just want to complain.
[quote=davelj]
The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. [/quote]I don’t have any kids, though for a very long time I desired children. The universe had a say in that. Here I also understand both sides. The world is overpopulated, I agree. HOWEVER, watching my friends and family w/children, I beg to differ on having children as being a selfish act. I think having kids has to be the most selfless act a person can do. It takes your time, energy, money, effort and most important your love. You sacrifice your life to your children. Far from being selfish.
That’s not to say that their are parents that neglect their children or have absolutely no business having kids. That’s another topic for another day, but I’d go on a limb and say for those, it was by accident they had kids and not intended. Though there are also those accidents that were blessings anyway.
March 27, 2010 at 8:13 AM #532764jpinpbParticipantI’ve avoided getting into this debate b/c for the most part people will not likely change their opinions about marriage. I’d just like to say that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50% of people married must be happy. I don’t buy into the notion that people will not divorce b/c of the cost. It has not been a deterrent to the 50% that got divorced. The old saying – why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!
If someone is unhappy in their marriage, they will divorce regardless of the cost. I know people that are very happy in their marriage. I also know people that have suffered and no amount of money would be cause to continue to be married. Some marriages on the exterior appeared fine and I was surprised to hear about the divorce. That person is paying dearly for the divorce, but very happy w/the decision in spite of the cost.
Those who say they will not divorce b/c of the cost are coming up w/an excuse to stay married for whatever reason. Because they want to be miserable or their marriage isn’t as bad as they think or they are lazy or they just want to complain.
[quote=davelj]
The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. [/quote]I don’t have any kids, though for a very long time I desired children. The universe had a say in that. Here I also understand both sides. The world is overpopulated, I agree. HOWEVER, watching my friends and family w/children, I beg to differ on having children as being a selfish act. I think having kids has to be the most selfless act a person can do. It takes your time, energy, money, effort and most important your love. You sacrifice your life to your children. Far from being selfish.
That’s not to say that their are parents that neglect their children or have absolutely no business having kids. That’s another topic for another day, but I’d go on a limb and say for those, it was by accident they had kids and not intended. Though there are also those accidents that were blessings anyway.
March 27, 2010 at 8:13 AM #533024jpinpbParticipantI’ve avoided getting into this debate b/c for the most part people will not likely change their opinions about marriage. I’d just like to say that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50% of people married must be happy. I don’t buy into the notion that people will not divorce b/c of the cost. It has not been a deterrent to the 50% that got divorced. The old saying – why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!
If someone is unhappy in their marriage, they will divorce regardless of the cost. I know people that are very happy in their marriage. I also know people that have suffered and no amount of money would be cause to continue to be married. Some marriages on the exterior appeared fine and I was surprised to hear about the divorce. That person is paying dearly for the divorce, but very happy w/the decision in spite of the cost.
Those who say they will not divorce b/c of the cost are coming up w/an excuse to stay married for whatever reason. Because they want to be miserable or their marriage isn’t as bad as they think or they are lazy or they just want to complain.
[quote=davelj]
The world doesn’t need more kids, so YOU having kids is a reflection of YOUR OWN selfishness to have YOUR OWN children. [/quote]I don’t have any kids, though for a very long time I desired children. The universe had a say in that. Here I also understand both sides. The world is overpopulated, I agree. HOWEVER, watching my friends and family w/children, I beg to differ on having children as being a selfish act. I think having kids has to be the most selfless act a person can do. It takes your time, energy, money, effort and most important your love. You sacrifice your life to your children. Far from being selfish.
That’s not to say that their are parents that neglect their children or have absolutely no business having kids. That’s another topic for another day, but I’d go on a limb and say for those, it was by accident they had kids and not intended. Though there are also those accidents that were blessings anyway.
March 27, 2010 at 8:35 AM #5321004plexownerParticipantthis is a funny thread – rational singles vs delusional marrieds – “and in this corner, wearing the red trunks …”
marriage is an institution that made sense prior to WWII when women had very few choices economically – Rosy the Riveter and women’s lib changed all that – IMO women were better off before although in many cases they were treated as little more than chattel
in college my buddies and I talked about different ways to have monogamous, committed relationships without the ’till death do us part’ anchor of marriage – my favorite was contract marriage – basically a 5 or 7 year contract that could be renewed if desired
one of my favorite SciFi books, “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein, explores several non-standard forms of marriage – the book’s main character is part of a line marriage where there are several husbands and several wives – the book is set in a penal colony on the moon where there are numerous men for every woman – in this setting women have real power within the society because there are so few of them
one of the main drawbacks to marriage IMO is that men are goal oriented – when the goal is marriage a man is all sugar and spice – courting and wooing with flowers, fancy dates, love notes, poetry, etc – once the goal (marriage) is accomplished, a man hangs the trophy over the mantle and then goes back to whatever he was doing before getting married – the poor woman hangs on the wall wondering what happened to the Romeo she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with
another of my favorite books (and the only love story on my bookshelves) is Richard Bach’s “The Bridge Across Forever” – he explores many ideas about marriage from a man’s perspective – the most poignant thought: if you believe in marriage, live it fully – if you don’t, get yourself un-married as quickly as possible
Richard’s thought helped me end an ill-considered marriage and now, like Rex Harrison in “My Fair Lady”, I’m a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
March 27, 2010 at 8:35 AM #5322304plexownerParticipantthis is a funny thread – rational singles vs delusional marrieds – “and in this corner, wearing the red trunks …”
marriage is an institution that made sense prior to WWII when women had very few choices economically – Rosy the Riveter and women’s lib changed all that – IMO women were better off before although in many cases they were treated as little more than chattel
in college my buddies and I talked about different ways to have monogamous, committed relationships without the ’till death do us part’ anchor of marriage – my favorite was contract marriage – basically a 5 or 7 year contract that could be renewed if desired
one of my favorite SciFi books, “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein, explores several non-standard forms of marriage – the book’s main character is part of a line marriage where there are several husbands and several wives – the book is set in a penal colony on the moon where there are numerous men for every woman – in this setting women have real power within the society because there are so few of them
one of the main drawbacks to marriage IMO is that men are goal oriented – when the goal is marriage a man is all sugar and spice – courting and wooing with flowers, fancy dates, love notes, poetry, etc – once the goal (marriage) is accomplished, a man hangs the trophy over the mantle and then goes back to whatever he was doing before getting married – the poor woman hangs on the wall wondering what happened to the Romeo she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with
another of my favorite books (and the only love story on my bookshelves) is Richard Bach’s “The Bridge Across Forever” – he explores many ideas about marriage from a man’s perspective – the most poignant thought: if you believe in marriage, live it fully – if you don’t, get yourself un-married as quickly as possible
Richard’s thought helped me end an ill-considered marriage and now, like Rex Harrison in “My Fair Lady”, I’m a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
March 27, 2010 at 8:35 AM #5326814plexownerParticipantthis is a funny thread – rational singles vs delusional marrieds – “and in this corner, wearing the red trunks …”
marriage is an institution that made sense prior to WWII when women had very few choices economically – Rosy the Riveter and women’s lib changed all that – IMO women were better off before although in many cases they were treated as little more than chattel
in college my buddies and I talked about different ways to have monogamous, committed relationships without the ’till death do us part’ anchor of marriage – my favorite was contract marriage – basically a 5 or 7 year contract that could be renewed if desired
one of my favorite SciFi books, “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein, explores several non-standard forms of marriage – the book’s main character is part of a line marriage where there are several husbands and several wives – the book is set in a penal colony on the moon where there are numerous men for every woman – in this setting women have real power within the society because there are so few of them
one of the main drawbacks to marriage IMO is that men are goal oriented – when the goal is marriage a man is all sugar and spice – courting and wooing with flowers, fancy dates, love notes, poetry, etc – once the goal (marriage) is accomplished, a man hangs the trophy over the mantle and then goes back to whatever he was doing before getting married – the poor woman hangs on the wall wondering what happened to the Romeo she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with
another of my favorite books (and the only love story on my bookshelves) is Richard Bach’s “The Bridge Across Forever” – he explores many ideas about marriage from a man’s perspective – the most poignant thought: if you believe in marriage, live it fully – if you don’t, get yourself un-married as quickly as possible
Richard’s thought helped me end an ill-considered marriage and now, like Rex Harrison in “My Fair Lady”, I’m a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
March 27, 2010 at 8:35 AM #5327784plexownerParticipantthis is a funny thread – rational singles vs delusional marrieds – “and in this corner, wearing the red trunks …”
marriage is an institution that made sense prior to WWII when women had very few choices economically – Rosy the Riveter and women’s lib changed all that – IMO women were better off before although in many cases they were treated as little more than chattel
in college my buddies and I talked about different ways to have monogamous, committed relationships without the ’till death do us part’ anchor of marriage – my favorite was contract marriage – basically a 5 or 7 year contract that could be renewed if desired
one of my favorite SciFi books, “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein, explores several non-standard forms of marriage – the book’s main character is part of a line marriage where there are several husbands and several wives – the book is set in a penal colony on the moon where there are numerous men for every woman – in this setting women have real power within the society because there are so few of them
one of the main drawbacks to marriage IMO is that men are goal oriented – when the goal is marriage a man is all sugar and spice – courting and wooing with flowers, fancy dates, love notes, poetry, etc – once the goal (marriage) is accomplished, a man hangs the trophy over the mantle and then goes back to whatever he was doing before getting married – the poor woman hangs on the wall wondering what happened to the Romeo she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with
another of my favorite books (and the only love story on my bookshelves) is Richard Bach’s “The Bridge Across Forever” – he explores many ideas about marriage from a man’s perspective – the most poignant thought: if you believe in marriage, live it fully – if you don’t, get yourself un-married as quickly as possible
Richard’s thought helped me end an ill-considered marriage and now, like Rex Harrison in “My Fair Lady”, I’m a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so
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