Parents kicking their children out of the home

[eavesdropper]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

ninaprincess, I am not personally acquainted with you family’s situation, but if it works for you, more power to you. Possibly your cultural background is one in which multiple generations of families live together, and all contribute to a productive and mutually beneficial loving family relationship, in which case, the current stories of family strife might appear odd to you.

In the case of American families, this has not been the custom for generations; certainly, not since World War II. What’s happening here now is not like it was back then, nor is it anything like what I described in my first paragraph. Adult children are moving back in with their parents, or never moving out in the first place. While economic conditions can be blamed for some of this phenomenon, quite often it’s because individuals have not been equipped by their parents with the skills they require to live an independent life, or have decided that, despite a good education and training, they simply do not wish to work at a job.

Keep in mind that these adult children would not be able to do this on their own. In reality, their parents enable their lifestyle by permitting their residence in the family home, and requiring nothing in the way of contributions to the family unit. The adult “children” insist that, because they are over 18, they are adults, they are independent and no one can tell them what to do. I’m not sure what their definition of independence is, but when you, yourself, are not able to pay for a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, or food for your belly (not to mention your car payments, gas, and insurance, clothing, cell phone, entertainment, etc.), you are DEPENDENT upon another to pay for them.

Again, I am not personally familiar with your situation. However, there are many parents of adult children who continue to perform basic housekeeping duties for their children. Many of them admit that they keep hoping that their children will exhibit some evidence of personal responsibility and insist on doing the tasks themselves. Some mothers have an extremely difficult time separating themselves from their prior roles as mothers of small children, and continue to do these things in an attempt to keep their adult children dependent upon them (incidentally, not a sign of sterling mental health).

There are lots of adult “children” out there being dishonest with themselves about their parents’ actions, and misinterpreting them intentionally because they benefit from them. If they truly cannot wrest dirty laundry from their caring mother’s hands, or keep her from waiting on them, they should make sure that THEY do something positive for her, and for the family unit. If a parent won’t take money for room or board, steal a utility bill and pay it. Buy the parents a supermarket gift certificate. Go pick up some garden plants and mulch that you know they are planning on getting, or replace a small (or large) appliance on its last legs. Pick up some replacement cartridges for their printer. Parents may refuse to accept rent money from their adult children and continue to insist on performing personal tasks for them. That does not excuse them from their own responsibilities as an adult member of the household and the family unit. They need to contribute to a level that is equivalent to what they are taking from the family.

[Arraya]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

Well, nina, I’m sure your culture is it’s own flavor of crazy. But, I will comment on America’s insanity, because that is what I study. Basically, we are a toxic brew of self-centered, gluttonous entitlement mentality, coupled with a darwinian sink or swim attitude, that we think is needed to keep people from becoming lazy parasites. All under an umbrella of a marco-irrationality, which makes it all the more interesting. This is setting the stage for quite the social train wreck, I think.

In every other modern post industrial economy you could have attended college for free as long as you chose to, and been given free healthcare and a stipend to live on while you did it. This would be heresy in the US.

Clawing down basic things like an education in such a competitive, reptilian environment makes people hard.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about “kids today” by boomers. If I was kids today, I would be pissed about the mess and suicidal trajectory we have set up. Just wait until the youth goes all Greek Anarchist for the massive amounts of debt we left them, much to prop up our retirements, 401ks and RE, in the coming years as the economy deteriorates.

Maybe those kids that don’t leave home are subconsciously and preemptively revolting for the mess that has yet to come to full fruition, that their parents allowed to happen. lol

[Arraya]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

Well, nina, I’m sure your culture is it’s own flavor of crazy. But, I will comment on America’s insanity, because that is what I study. Basically, we are a toxic brew of self-centered, gluttonous entitlement mentality, coupled with a darwinian sink or swim attitude, that we think is needed to keep people from becoming lazy parasites. All under an umbrella of a marco-irrationality, which makes it all the more interesting. This is setting the stage for quite the social train wreck, I think.

In every other modern post industrial economy you could have attended college for free as long as you chose to, and been given free healthcare and a stipend to live on while you did it. This would be heresy in the US.

Clawing down basic things like an education in such a competitive, reptilian environment makes people hard.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about “kids today” by boomers. If I was kids today, I would be pissed about the mess and suicidal trajectory we have set up. Just wait until the youth goes all Greek Anarchist for the massive amounts of debt we left them, much to prop up our retirements, 401ks and RE, in the coming years as the economy deteriorates.

Maybe those kids that don’t leave home are subconsciously and preemptively revolting for the mess that has yet to come to full fruition, that their parents allowed to happen. lol

[Arraya]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

Well, nina, I’m sure your culture is it’s own flavor of crazy. But, I will comment on America’s insanity, because that is what I study. Basically, we are a toxic brew of self-centered, gluttonous entitlement mentality, coupled with a darwinian sink or swim attitude, that we think is needed to keep people from becoming lazy parasites. All under an umbrella of a marco-irrationality, which makes it all the more interesting. This is setting the stage for quite the social train wreck, I think.

In every other modern post industrial economy you could have attended college for free as long as you chose to, and been given free healthcare and a stipend to live on while you did it. This would be heresy in the US.

Clawing down basic things like an education in such a competitive, reptilian environment makes people hard.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about “kids today” by boomers. If I was kids today, I would be pissed about the mess and suicidal trajectory we have set up. Just wait until the youth goes all Greek Anarchist for the massive amounts of debt we left them, much to prop up our retirements, 401ks and RE, in the coming years as the economy deteriorates.

Maybe those kids that don’t leave home are subconsciously and preemptively revolting for the mess that has yet to come to full fruition, that their parents allowed to happen. lol

[Arraya]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

Well, nina, I’m sure your culture is it’s own flavor of crazy. But, I will comment on America’s insanity, because that is what I study. Basically, we are a toxic brew of self-centered, gluttonous entitlement mentality, coupled with a darwinian sink or swim attitude, that we think is needed to keep people from becoming lazy parasites. All under an umbrella of a marco-irrationality, which makes it all the more interesting. This is setting the stage for quite the social train wreck, I think.

In every other modern post industrial economy you could have attended college for free as long as you chose to, and been given free healthcare and a stipend to live on while you did it. This would be heresy in the US.

Clawing down basic things like an education in such a competitive, reptilian environment makes people hard.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about “kids today” by boomers. If I was kids today, I would be pissed about the mess and suicidal trajectory we have set up. Just wait until the youth goes all Greek Anarchist for the massive amounts of debt we left them, much to prop up our retirements, 401ks and RE, in the coming years as the economy deteriorates.

Maybe those kids that don’t leave home are subconsciously and preemptively revolting for the mess that has yet to come to full fruition, that their parents allowed to happen. lol

[Arraya]

[quote=ninaprincess]I have been in the US half of my life but one thing I still don’t understand it that many American parents kick their children out of the house. Initially I heard people talking about it and I thought they were joking. I brought this up because I just read an article in yahoo about a 23 yr old homeless girl who was kicked out of the parents’ house.

My parents hated that we moved out of the house. They won’t take my money when I stayed with them. My mom would do wash my clothes and clean my room eventhough I told her not too. This is the same case for all of my cousins.[/quote]

Well, nina, I’m sure your culture is it’s own flavor of crazy. But, I will comment on America’s insanity, because that is what I study. Basically, we are a toxic brew of self-centered, gluttonous entitlement mentality, coupled with a darwinian sink or swim attitude, that we think is needed to keep people from becoming lazy parasites. All under an umbrella of a marco-irrationality, which makes it all the more interesting. This is setting the stage for quite the social train wreck, I think.

In every other modern post industrial economy you could have attended college for free as long as you chose to, and been given free healthcare and a stipend to live on while you did it. This would be heresy in the US.

Clawing down basic things like an education in such a competitive, reptilian environment makes people hard.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about “kids today” by boomers. If I was kids today, I would be pissed about the mess and suicidal trajectory we have set up. Just wait until the youth goes all Greek Anarchist for the massive amounts of debt we left them, much to prop up our retirements, 401ks and RE, in the coming years as the economy deteriorates.

Maybe those kids that don’t leave home are subconsciously and preemptively revolting for the mess that has yet to come to full fruition, that their parents allowed to happen. lol

[Scarlett]

Good point, Cognitive… This is another aspect that has to be accounted for too. Things have changed for kids today compared to when we were kids, and not for the best… I am not saying it justifies their attitude about living with their parents, but it helps explaining it. And not sure I am blaming them.

[Scarlett]

Good point, Cognitive… This is another aspect that has to be accounted for too. Things have changed for kids today compared to when we were kids, and not for the best… I am not saying it justifies their attitude about living with their parents, but it helps explaining it. And not sure I am blaming them.

[Scarlett]

Good point, Cognitive… This is another aspect that has to be accounted for too. Things have changed for kids today compared to when we were kids, and not for the best… I am not saying it justifies their attitude about living with their parents, but it helps explaining it. And not sure I am blaming them.

[Scarlett]

Good point, Cognitive… This is another aspect that has to be accounted for too. Things have changed for kids today compared to when we were kids, and not for the best… I am not saying it justifies their attitude about living with their parents, but it helps explaining it. And not sure I am blaming them.

[Scarlett]

Good point, Cognitive… This is another aspect that has to be accounted for too. Things have changed for kids today compared to when we were kids, and not for the best… I am not saying it justifies their attitude about living with their parents, but it helps explaining it. And not sure I am blaming them.

[Reality]

There is something seriously wrong with much of the “Baby Boomer” generation. They for the most part are the parents of these Millennials.

For some reason their kids, born mostly in the 1980’s, are “special”. Remember the “Baby on Board” signs in car windows?

They won’t kick their ADULT kids out because those kids are their best friends. My parents were not my friends when I was a young man. They were parents, IMHO as it should be.

[Reality]

There is something seriously wrong with much of the “Baby Boomer” generation. They for the most part are the parents of these Millennials.

For some reason their kids, born mostly in the 1980’s, are “special”. Remember the “Baby on Board” signs in car windows?

They won’t kick their ADULT kids out because those kids are their best friends. My parents were not my friends when I was a young man. They were parents, IMHO as it should be.

[Reality]

There is something seriously wrong with much of the “Baby Boomer” generation. They for the most part are the parents of these Millennials.

For some reason their kids, born mostly in the 1980’s, are “special”. Remember the “Baby on Board” signs in car windows?

They won’t kick their ADULT kids out because those kids are their best friends. My parents were not my friends when I was a young man. They were parents, IMHO as it should be.

[Reality]

There is something seriously wrong with much of the “Baby Boomer” generation. They for the most part are the parents of these Millennials.

For some reason their kids, born mostly in the 1980’s, are “special”. Remember the “Baby on Board” signs in car windows?

They won’t kick their ADULT kids out because those kids are their best friends. My parents were not my friends when I was a young man. They were parents, IMHO as it should be.

[Author]

Posts