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  • March 21, 2011 at 1:04 PM #18648
    Scarlett
    Participant

    Case in point: You rent in a certain high school attendance area because of very short commute. Lets assume excellent schools.
    Kid entering kindergarten in Fall.

    Assume you will rent for more or less the duration of the elementary school i.e. 4-6 years (to save for more downpayment and/or cash reserves).

    You then will buy in a different school district than the current one – again excellent schools (let’s assume no difference in schools) – but longer commute (difference 15′ vs 30′ at non rush hour)

    What would you do?
    a. Would you rent in the current place and then move the kid when he starts middle school to a different district – when you buy? (advantage: short commute for the duration of the grade school)? Or
    b. Would you rent in the area where you think you are very likely to buy from the begining, even if it means longer commute (and gas cost), so that the kid maintains some of the school friends throughout all his school years? (assume same rent). (there is of course still uncertainty if one would really be able, or want, to buy in that area after a few years living there; plus it could be limiting your buying area – not always a bad thing).

    I guess what I am asking is, how disruptive is for kids when they switch school districts – during elementary or middle school? Is it worth adding the commute for the duration of renting?

    (Let’s not discuss why I don’t plan to buy in the current area, please! this is not what I am asking)

    Thanks!!!

    March 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM #679128
    UCGal
    Participant

    My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

    If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

    If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

    We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)

    March 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM #679181
    UCGal
    Participant

    My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

    If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

    If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

    We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)

    March 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM #679789
    UCGal
    Participant

    My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

    If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

    If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

    We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)

    March 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM #679926
    UCGal
    Participant

    My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

    If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

    If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

    We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)

    March 21, 2011 at 1:36 PM #680277
    UCGal
    Participant

    My opinion – based on observation of family’s who relo’d for jobs, family’s that changed homes (upgrading homes) etc…

    If you make the change before 8th grade – kids adapt.

    If you make the change when the kid is 8th grade or older, there may be some resentment or social issues.

    We have a nephew who’s in his early 30’s who still hasn’t forgiven his parents for moving states when he was in the 10th grade. (Although he still lives in that state.)

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 PM #679198
    recordsclerk
    Participant

    Kind of going through the same thing. My eldest is in second grade and I’m trying to move before he’s in Jr High. We are about 2 years away from moving to Scripps if we can pull it off. We live in a bad school district (API in the high 600s/low 700s) and use my parent’s address for his school now. The APIs are high 700’s/low 8’s, so not a great school either. I think since you are in a good school district, I would just stay there until you decide where and when you can move. I think saving up for the down is very important. I would like to see more people buy with 20% down and with 6 months reserves.

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 PM #679253
    recordsclerk
    Participant

    Kind of going through the same thing. My eldest is in second grade and I’m trying to move before he’s in Jr High. We are about 2 years away from moving to Scripps if we can pull it off. We live in a bad school district (API in the high 600s/low 700s) and use my parent’s address for his school now. The APIs are high 700’s/low 8’s, so not a great school either. I think since you are in a good school district, I would just stay there until you decide where and when you can move. I think saving up for the down is very important. I would like to see more people buy with 20% down and with 6 months reserves.

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 PM #679863
    recordsclerk
    Participant

    Kind of going through the same thing. My eldest is in second grade and I’m trying to move before he’s in Jr High. We are about 2 years away from moving to Scripps if we can pull it off. We live in a bad school district (API in the high 600s/low 700s) and use my parent’s address for his school now. The APIs are high 700’s/low 8’s, so not a great school either. I think since you are in a good school district, I would just stay there until you decide where and when you can move. I think saving up for the down is very important. I would like to see more people buy with 20% down and with 6 months reserves.

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 PM #680001
    recordsclerk
    Participant

    Kind of going through the same thing. My eldest is in second grade and I’m trying to move before he’s in Jr High. We are about 2 years away from moving to Scripps if we can pull it off. We live in a bad school district (API in the high 600s/low 700s) and use my parent’s address for his school now. The APIs are high 700’s/low 8’s, so not a great school either. I think since you are in a good school district, I would just stay there until you decide where and when you can move. I think saving up for the down is very important. I would like to see more people buy with 20% down and with 6 months reserves.

    March 21, 2011 at 2:33 PM #680352
    recordsclerk
    Participant

    Kind of going through the same thing. My eldest is in second grade and I’m trying to move before he’s in Jr High. We are about 2 years away from moving to Scripps if we can pull it off. We live in a bad school district (API in the high 600s/low 700s) and use my parent’s address for his school now. The APIs are high 700’s/low 8’s, so not a great school either. I think since you are in a good school district, I would just stay there until you decide where and when you can move. I think saving up for the down is very important. I would like to see more people buy with 20% down and with 6 months reserves.

    March 21, 2011 at 4:57 PM #679282
    eavesdropper
    Participant

    Simplistic as it sounds, it depends on the child. I have two sons. My older son was traumatized for several months when we moved to California from Pennsylvania. He was 18 months old when we moved. My other son was moved from Ohio to Florida in his first year of high school. He had no problems at all.

    Every kid is different. I’d look at how each of your children adjusts to changes in their environment or routine, even those of a very small nature. Past experiences are the best predictors of future behavior.

    Unless your children are emotionally fragile (and by that I mean “diagnosable”) in some way, I’d move to a district that you believe would be better for them, socially and academically, in the long run. And there’s no question that having a parent at home in the evening who isn’t tired out from a long commute (or, worse yet, still stuck in traffic) will be much more beneficial for them.

    If you haven’t done so yet, I’d recommend that you speak with several of their teachers and counselors at their current school(s) to see if there are any issues that might prove problematic if you make the change you are considering. The other thing I’d suggest is, where possible, to make the kids part of the decision-making process. Being a kid can be scary: kids can start to act out when they feel like they have no control over what happens in their lives. Keep in mind that I am not advising you to ask your children for their permission to move. Believing that you are the adult and parent, I am of the strong opinion that this is YOUR decision to make. But perhaps you can include your children in the choice of a house, when you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3. Or let them research extracurricular activities in the new neighborhood, and choose one or two in which to participate.

    Whatever it is, don’t discuss the pros and cons of moving with them, or involve them in conversations about which school district would be best, etc. These are adult decisions, and having them hanging above them will only create anxiety in their minds. Kids have much more difficulty dealing with uncertainties in their lives than they do with changes stemming from decisions made by parents who clearly demonstrate their love and support for them. It seems evident to me, by the questions you raise in your post, that you’re in that category of parent. Good luck!

    March 21, 2011 at 4:57 PM #679338
    eavesdropper
    Participant

    Simplistic as it sounds, it depends on the child. I have two sons. My older son was traumatized for several months when we moved to California from Pennsylvania. He was 18 months old when we moved. My other son was moved from Ohio to Florida in his first year of high school. He had no problems at all.

    Every kid is different. I’d look at how each of your children adjusts to changes in their environment or routine, even those of a very small nature. Past experiences are the best predictors of future behavior.

    Unless your children are emotionally fragile (and by that I mean “diagnosable”) in some way, I’d move to a district that you believe would be better for them, socially and academically, in the long run. And there’s no question that having a parent at home in the evening who isn’t tired out from a long commute (or, worse yet, still stuck in traffic) will be much more beneficial for them.

    If you haven’t done so yet, I’d recommend that you speak with several of their teachers and counselors at their current school(s) to see if there are any issues that might prove problematic if you make the change you are considering. The other thing I’d suggest is, where possible, to make the kids part of the decision-making process. Being a kid can be scary: kids can start to act out when they feel like they have no control over what happens in their lives. Keep in mind that I am not advising you to ask your children for their permission to move. Believing that you are the adult and parent, I am of the strong opinion that this is YOUR decision to make. But perhaps you can include your children in the choice of a house, when you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3. Or let them research extracurricular activities in the new neighborhood, and choose one or two in which to participate.

    Whatever it is, don’t discuss the pros and cons of moving with them, or involve them in conversations about which school district would be best, etc. These are adult decisions, and having them hanging above them will only create anxiety in their minds. Kids have much more difficulty dealing with uncertainties in their lives than they do with changes stemming from decisions made by parents who clearly demonstrate their love and support for them. It seems evident to me, by the questions you raise in your post, that you’re in that category of parent. Good luck!

    March 21, 2011 at 4:57 PM #679948
    eavesdropper
    Participant

    Simplistic as it sounds, it depends on the child. I have two sons. My older son was traumatized for several months when we moved to California from Pennsylvania. He was 18 months old when we moved. My other son was moved from Ohio to Florida in his first year of high school. He had no problems at all.

    Every kid is different. I’d look at how each of your children adjusts to changes in their environment or routine, even those of a very small nature. Past experiences are the best predictors of future behavior.

    Unless your children are emotionally fragile (and by that I mean “diagnosable”) in some way, I’d move to a district that you believe would be better for them, socially and academically, in the long run. And there’s no question that having a parent at home in the evening who isn’t tired out from a long commute (or, worse yet, still stuck in traffic) will be much more beneficial for them.

    If you haven’t done so yet, I’d recommend that you speak with several of their teachers and counselors at their current school(s) to see if there are any issues that might prove problematic if you make the change you are considering. The other thing I’d suggest is, where possible, to make the kids part of the decision-making process. Being a kid can be scary: kids can start to act out when they feel like they have no control over what happens in their lives. Keep in mind that I am not advising you to ask your children for their permission to move. Believing that you are the adult and parent, I am of the strong opinion that this is YOUR decision to make. But perhaps you can include your children in the choice of a house, when you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3. Or let them research extracurricular activities in the new neighborhood, and choose one or two in which to participate.

    Whatever it is, don’t discuss the pros and cons of moving with them, or involve them in conversations about which school district would be best, etc. These are adult decisions, and having them hanging above them will only create anxiety in their minds. Kids have much more difficulty dealing with uncertainties in their lives than they do with changes stemming from decisions made by parents who clearly demonstrate their love and support for them. It seems evident to me, by the questions you raise in your post, that you’re in that category of parent. Good luck!

    March 21, 2011 at 4:57 PM #680086
    eavesdropper
    Participant

    Simplistic as it sounds, it depends on the child. I have two sons. My older son was traumatized for several months when we moved to California from Pennsylvania. He was 18 months old when we moved. My other son was moved from Ohio to Florida in his first year of high school. He had no problems at all.

    Every kid is different. I’d look at how each of your children adjusts to changes in their environment or routine, even those of a very small nature. Past experiences are the best predictors of future behavior.

    Unless your children are emotionally fragile (and by that I mean “diagnosable”) in some way, I’d move to a district that you believe would be better for them, socially and academically, in the long run. And there’s no question that having a parent at home in the evening who isn’t tired out from a long commute (or, worse yet, still stuck in traffic) will be much more beneficial for them.

    If you haven’t done so yet, I’d recommend that you speak with several of their teachers and counselors at their current school(s) to see if there are any issues that might prove problematic if you make the change you are considering. The other thing I’d suggest is, where possible, to make the kids part of the decision-making process. Being a kid can be scary: kids can start to act out when they feel like they have no control over what happens in their lives. Keep in mind that I am not advising you to ask your children for their permission to move. Believing that you are the adult and parent, I am of the strong opinion that this is YOUR decision to make. But perhaps you can include your children in the choice of a house, when you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3. Or let them research extracurricular activities in the new neighborhood, and choose one or two in which to participate.

    Whatever it is, don’t discuss the pros and cons of moving with them, or involve them in conversations about which school district would be best, etc. These are adult decisions, and having them hanging above them will only create anxiety in their minds. Kids have much more difficulty dealing with uncertainties in their lives than they do with changes stemming from decisions made by parents who clearly demonstrate their love and support for them. It seems evident to me, by the questions you raise in your post, that you’re in that category of parent. Good luck!

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