going broke on 300K/year

[propertysearchaddiction]

Very interesting discussion.
I think this sentence from the article sums it up.

DeSantis says.
“We tied our self-worth and social stature on what we earned.”

I quit working full time a few years ago to stay at home with our young children. I tied my self worth to my achievements and it was hard to make the change. America values money over happiness. Being aware of our culture has made it easier for us to make decisions that bring us happiness first and money second. Surprisingly, my husband now works 40 hours instead of 80 and has maintained our income.

Here’s my take…

1) Take care of your own health

2)Put your marriage first. Go out on a weekly date. Make time for a great sex life. Take a yearly vacation without kids! Set aside time each week to talk about family/finances/relationship. (I know every guys dream)

2) Put your kids second. Spend one on one time. Do family activities. Find their talents and put them in activities to succeed.

3) Job and making money comes in third

4) Live WAY below your means!!!

5) If your going to outsource something go for the house cleaner.

[fredo4]

[quote=temeculaguy]I took my kids on a ride from Mcmansion to McCondo to McMansion and they are stronger and wiser because of the journey, something in hindsight I’m proud of and she is afraid of.
[/quote]

Bravo TG, my sentiments exactly. Although Guido and I haven’t quite made it back to he McMansion and country club yet, I’m proud to show my kids the right way to deal with tough times.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We used to have money, now we don’t have as much- so we’ve cut back.
Now we go to the YMCA instead of the club and have a Mazda instead of a beemer, big deal.
It’s how you deal with adversity that shows what you are made of, not the amount of stuff that you have.

[fredo4]

[quote=temeculaguy]I took my kids on a ride from Mcmansion to McCondo to McMansion and they are stronger and wiser because of the journey, something in hindsight I’m proud of and she is afraid of.
[/quote]

Bravo TG, my sentiments exactly. Although Guido and I haven’t quite made it back to he McMansion and country club yet, I’m proud to show my kids the right way to deal with tough times.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We used to have money, now we don’t have as much- so we’ve cut back.
Now we go to the YMCA instead of the club and have a Mazda instead of a beemer, big deal.
It’s how you deal with adversity that shows what you are made of, not the amount of stuff that you have.

[fredo4]

[quote=temeculaguy]I took my kids on a ride from Mcmansion to McCondo to McMansion and they are stronger and wiser because of the journey, something in hindsight I’m proud of and she is afraid of.
[/quote]

Bravo TG, my sentiments exactly. Although Guido and I haven’t quite made it back to he McMansion and country club yet, I’m proud to show my kids the right way to deal with tough times.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We used to have money, now we don’t have as much- so we’ve cut back.
Now we go to the YMCA instead of the club and have a Mazda instead of a beemer, big deal.
It’s how you deal with adversity that shows what you are made of, not the amount of stuff that you have.

[fredo4]

[quote=temeculaguy]I took my kids on a ride from Mcmansion to McCondo to McMansion and they are stronger and wiser because of the journey, something in hindsight I’m proud of and she is afraid of.
[/quote]

Bravo TG, my sentiments exactly. Although Guido and I haven’t quite made it back to he McMansion and country club yet, I’m proud to show my kids the right way to deal with tough times.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We used to have money, now we don’t have as much- so we’ve cut back.
Now we go to the YMCA instead of the club and have a Mazda instead of a beemer, big deal.
It’s how you deal with adversity that shows what you are made of, not the amount of stuff that you have.

[fredo4]

[quote=temeculaguy]I took my kids on a ride from Mcmansion to McCondo to McMansion and they are stronger and wiser because of the journey, something in hindsight I’m proud of and she is afraid of.
[/quote]

Bravo TG, my sentiments exactly. Although Guido and I haven’t quite made it back to he McMansion and country club yet, I’m proud to show my kids the right way to deal with tough times.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We used to have money, now we don’t have as much- so we’ve cut back.
Now we go to the YMCA instead of the club and have a Mazda instead of a beemer, big deal.
It’s how you deal with adversity that shows what you are made of, not the amount of stuff that you have.

[fredo4]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.
[/quote]
That is just SO wrong. As if these poor guys don’t feel bad enough, being as that men place so much of their self-worth on being good bread winners. To kick someone with they’re down like that is terrible.
I’m often in groups of women where all they do is bitch about their husbands- then they look at me like.. well, what do you have to add to the conversation?
I always say- “I dunno..I like MY husband” which usually doesn’t go over so well.
It’s too bad that husbands and wives are so often more like adversaries than teammates. These people don’t know how nice it is to have someone whose support you can always count on and vice versa.

[fredo4]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.
[/quote]
That is just SO wrong. As if these poor guys don’t feel bad enough, being as that men place so much of their self-worth on being good bread winners. To kick someone with they’re down like that is terrible.
I’m often in groups of women where all they do is bitch about their husbands- then they look at me like.. well, what do you have to add to the conversation?
I always say- “I dunno..I like MY husband” which usually doesn’t go over so well.
It’s too bad that husbands and wives are so often more like adversaries than teammates. These people don’t know how nice it is to have someone whose support you can always count on and vice versa.

[fredo4]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.
[/quote]
That is just SO wrong. As if these poor guys don’t feel bad enough, being as that men place so much of their self-worth on being good bread winners. To kick someone with they’re down like that is terrible.
I’m often in groups of women where all they do is bitch about their husbands- then they look at me like.. well, what do you have to add to the conversation?
I always say- “I dunno..I like MY husband” which usually doesn’t go over so well.
It’s too bad that husbands and wives are so often more like adversaries than teammates. These people don’t know how nice it is to have someone whose support you can always count on and vice versa.

[fredo4]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.
[/quote]
That is just SO wrong. As if these poor guys don’t feel bad enough, being as that men place so much of their self-worth on being good bread winners. To kick someone with they’re down like that is terrible.
I’m often in groups of women where all they do is bitch about their husbands- then they look at me like.. well, what do you have to add to the conversation?
I always say- “I dunno..I like MY husband” which usually doesn’t go over so well.
It’s too bad that husbands and wives are so often more like adversaries than teammates. These people don’t know how nice it is to have someone whose support you can always count on and vice versa.

[fredo4]

[quote=Allan from Fallbrook][quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.
[/quote]
That is just SO wrong. As if these poor guys don’t feel bad enough, being as that men place so much of their self-worth on being good bread winners. To kick someone with they’re down like that is terrible.
I’m often in groups of women where all they do is bitch about their husbands- then they look at me like.. well, what do you have to add to the conversation?
I always say- “I dunno..I like MY husband” which usually doesn’t go over so well.
It’s too bad that husbands and wives are so often more like adversaries than teammates. These people don’t know how nice it is to have someone whose support you can always count on and vice versa.

[scaredyclassic]

why is it socially acceptable for women to bitterly and endlessly complain about their husbands? If guys try that, I think generally they are accused of being ingrates (she raised your children! suck it up!). Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and easier to get rid of her and pay a nanny? Except for the alimony of course.

[scaredyclassic]

why is it socially acceptable for women to bitterly and endlessly complain about their husbands? If guys try that, I think generally they are accused of being ingrates (she raised your children! suck it up!). Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and easier to get rid of her and pay a nanny? Except for the alimony of course.

[scaredyclassic]

why is it socially acceptable for women to bitterly and endlessly complain about their husbands? If guys try that, I think generally they are accused of being ingrates (she raised your children! suck it up!). Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and easier to get rid of her and pay a nanny? Except for the alimony of course.

[scaredyclassic]

why is it socially acceptable for women to bitterly and endlessly complain about their husbands? If guys try that, I think generally they are accused of being ingrates (she raised your children! suck it up!). Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and easier to get rid of her and pay a nanny? Except for the alimony of course.

[Author]

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