going broke on 300K/year

[blahblahblah]

I’ve never heard of a single instance where a man took a more dangerous job **after** having children, solely (even largely) because he had children. Are there any statistics to back up his claim?

The US is full of such men from Mexico and Central America. They undergo an expensive, hazardous journey to take dangerous and physically exhausting jobs hundreds or thousands of miles away from their families so that they can send money back home to their wives and children. Brought to you by NAFTA.

[cabal]

[quote=TechyWorker]Quite interesting TG. Not currently divorced but do to badgering been doing “research” on match.com just wondering what’s out there, since I don’t really get out.

—–

So in the end I’ll probably keep mine despite the many shortcomings and general meanness and bitterness and get her some supplements, such as meds or a young lover. I’ve never internet dated, I was just curious about the market in general.
[/quote]

I am intrigued by the resilience of both men and women to live in complete misery for extended periods of time with a spouse they’ve grown despise. I don’t understand this kind of psychology. I have several friends in horrible marriages, yet they choose to stick it out. Maybe they’re hoping the issues will somehow miraculously resolve themselves. Certainly stability of the kids and finances are huge factors, but when the relationship noticeably affects your health and personality, perhaps it’s time to seriously consider pulling the trigger. Maybe your situation isn’t as dire. I’m a firm believer that you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively take care of anyone else.

Over the years, I have literally watched one friend age at an accelerated rate, lose the spark in his eyes, and the once quick charming wit is long gone. Ironically, he is an assertive person and holds a high pressure upper management position with a large staff. He regularly making critical decisions with ease often with little data, yet he can’t make the decision to move on with his life even though he wants to. He makes 180k+/yr base and probably 300K/yr with bonus/stock options on a good year. Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

I would love to see a map of bad marriages overlayed on SD County. I’d bet it would dwarf any NOD/foreclosure radar map. Leykis, where were you 20 years ago.

[cabal]

[quote=TechyWorker]Quite interesting TG. Not currently divorced but do to badgering been doing “research” on match.com just wondering what’s out there, since I don’t really get out.

—–

So in the end I’ll probably keep mine despite the many shortcomings and general meanness and bitterness and get her some supplements, such as meds or a young lover. I’ve never internet dated, I was just curious about the market in general.
[/quote]

I am intrigued by the resilience of both men and women to live in complete misery for extended periods of time with a spouse they’ve grown despise. I don’t understand this kind of psychology. I have several friends in horrible marriages, yet they choose to stick it out. Maybe they’re hoping the issues will somehow miraculously resolve themselves. Certainly stability of the kids and finances are huge factors, but when the relationship noticeably affects your health and personality, perhaps it’s time to seriously consider pulling the trigger. Maybe your situation isn’t as dire. I’m a firm believer that you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively take care of anyone else.

Over the years, I have literally watched one friend age at an accelerated rate, lose the spark in his eyes, and the once quick charming wit is long gone. Ironically, he is an assertive person and holds a high pressure upper management position with a large staff. He regularly making critical decisions with ease often with little data, yet he can’t make the decision to move on with his life even though he wants to. He makes 180k+/yr base and probably 300K/yr with bonus/stock options on a good year. Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

I would love to see a map of bad marriages overlayed on SD County. I’d bet it would dwarf any NOD/foreclosure radar map. Leykis, where were you 20 years ago.

[cabal]

[quote=TechyWorker]Quite interesting TG. Not currently divorced but do to badgering been doing “research” on match.com just wondering what’s out there, since I don’t really get out.

—–

So in the end I’ll probably keep mine despite the many shortcomings and general meanness and bitterness and get her some supplements, such as meds or a young lover. I’ve never internet dated, I was just curious about the market in general.
[/quote]

I am intrigued by the resilience of both men and women to live in complete misery for extended periods of time with a spouse they’ve grown despise. I don’t understand this kind of psychology. I have several friends in horrible marriages, yet they choose to stick it out. Maybe they’re hoping the issues will somehow miraculously resolve themselves. Certainly stability of the kids and finances are huge factors, but when the relationship noticeably affects your health and personality, perhaps it’s time to seriously consider pulling the trigger. Maybe your situation isn’t as dire. I’m a firm believer that you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively take care of anyone else.

Over the years, I have literally watched one friend age at an accelerated rate, lose the spark in his eyes, and the once quick charming wit is long gone. Ironically, he is an assertive person and holds a high pressure upper management position with a large staff. He regularly making critical decisions with ease often with little data, yet he can’t make the decision to move on with his life even though he wants to. He makes 180k+/yr base and probably 300K/yr with bonus/stock options on a good year. Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

I would love to see a map of bad marriages overlayed on SD County. I’d bet it would dwarf any NOD/foreclosure radar map. Leykis, where were you 20 years ago.

[cabal]

[quote=TechyWorker]Quite interesting TG. Not currently divorced but do to badgering been doing “research” on match.com just wondering what’s out there, since I don’t really get out.

—–

So in the end I’ll probably keep mine despite the many shortcomings and general meanness and bitterness and get her some supplements, such as meds or a young lover. I’ve never internet dated, I was just curious about the market in general.
[/quote]

I am intrigued by the resilience of both men and women to live in complete misery for extended periods of time with a spouse they’ve grown despise. I don’t understand this kind of psychology. I have several friends in horrible marriages, yet they choose to stick it out. Maybe they’re hoping the issues will somehow miraculously resolve themselves. Certainly stability of the kids and finances are huge factors, but when the relationship noticeably affects your health and personality, perhaps it’s time to seriously consider pulling the trigger. Maybe your situation isn’t as dire. I’m a firm believer that you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively take care of anyone else.

Over the years, I have literally watched one friend age at an accelerated rate, lose the spark in his eyes, and the once quick charming wit is long gone. Ironically, he is an assertive person and holds a high pressure upper management position with a large staff. He regularly making critical decisions with ease often with little data, yet he can’t make the decision to move on with his life even though he wants to. He makes 180k+/yr base and probably 300K/yr with bonus/stock options on a good year. Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

I would love to see a map of bad marriages overlayed on SD County. I’d bet it would dwarf any NOD/foreclosure radar map. Leykis, where were you 20 years ago.

[cabal]

[quote=TechyWorker]Quite interesting TG. Not currently divorced but do to badgering been doing “research” on match.com just wondering what’s out there, since I don’t really get out.

—–

So in the end I’ll probably keep mine despite the many shortcomings and general meanness and bitterness and get her some supplements, such as meds or a young lover. I’ve never internet dated, I was just curious about the market in general.
[/quote]

I am intrigued by the resilience of both men and women to live in complete misery for extended periods of time with a spouse they’ve grown despise. I don’t understand this kind of psychology. I have several friends in horrible marriages, yet they choose to stick it out. Maybe they’re hoping the issues will somehow miraculously resolve themselves. Certainly stability of the kids and finances are huge factors, but when the relationship noticeably affects your health and personality, perhaps it’s time to seriously consider pulling the trigger. Maybe your situation isn’t as dire. I’m a firm believer that you must take care of yourself first before you can effectively take care of anyone else.

Over the years, I have literally watched one friend age at an accelerated rate, lose the spark in his eyes, and the once quick charming wit is long gone. Ironically, he is an assertive person and holds a high pressure upper management position with a large staff. He regularly making critical decisions with ease often with little data, yet he can’t make the decision to move on with his life even though he wants to. He makes 180k+/yr base and probably 300K/yr with bonus/stock options on a good year. Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

I would love to see a map of bad marriages overlayed on SD County. I’d bet it would dwarf any NOD/foreclosure radar map. Leykis, where were you 20 years ago.

[patientrenter]

I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.

[patientrenter]

I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.

[patientrenter]

I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.

[patientrenter]

I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.

[patientrenter]

I don’t know why we have to pick out illegal immigrants or army volunteers for examples of men who give up a lot materially when they marry and have kids. Most guys are happy to have money for a simple place to live, beer, a big TV and cable, a pool table, golf, a nice car… and they put the rest aside to hasten the day when they can spend all their time enjoying nothing but the above.

Adding the expenses of a wife and kids dramatically reduces the budget for his ideal lifestyle. That’s the real Daddy tax. I am not complaining, just pointing out that there’s a certain symmetry here.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.

I know the kid is humiliated by this, but it’s not the exception, unfortunately. This entitlement mentality was very strong for a lot of folks and now that things have turned ugly, they’ve turned on each other. I don’t get the sense of shared sacrifice or determination (what my dad would call “grit” or “sand”) to weather the storm, what I get is middle-aged spoiled brats pissed off that the party has stopped.

Like I said in my earlier post, the sense of disconnection from reality is amazing and more than a little frightening. My grandma lived through the Great Depression and she was one tough lady, believe me. No bitching, no complaining; just a rock solid work ethic and the discipline to ride out the tough times.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.

I know the kid is humiliated by this, but it’s not the exception, unfortunately. This entitlement mentality was very strong for a lot of folks and now that things have turned ugly, they’ve turned on each other. I don’t get the sense of shared sacrifice or determination (what my dad would call “grit” or “sand”) to weather the storm, what I get is middle-aged spoiled brats pissed off that the party has stopped.

Like I said in my earlier post, the sense of disconnection from reality is amazing and more than a little frightening. My grandma lived through the Great Depression and she was one tough lady, believe me. No bitching, no complaining; just a rock solid work ethic and the discipline to ride out the tough times.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.

I know the kid is humiliated by this, but it’s not the exception, unfortunately. This entitlement mentality was very strong for a lot of folks and now that things have turned ugly, they’ve turned on each other. I don’t get the sense of shared sacrifice or determination (what my dad would call “grit” or “sand”) to weather the storm, what I get is middle-aged spoiled brats pissed off that the party has stopped.

Like I said in my earlier post, the sense of disconnection from reality is amazing and more than a little frightening. My grandma lived through the Great Depression and she was one tough lady, believe me. No bitching, no complaining; just a rock solid work ethic and the discipline to ride out the tough times.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

[quote=Cabal] Believe it or not, they live check to check supporting the McMansion and lifestyle. Not long ago, he ask her to consider getting a job or cut back on discretionary spending. Her answer was “No, if I have to get a job what do I need you for?” The arrogance and sense of entitlement is just unbelievable. This may be an extreme example, but in my experience, there are many women with similar attitudes, especially in mid-upper class north county society. The keeping up with Joneses mentality and competitive nature of these women is truly frightening. I can only conclude that irrational fear of losing everything can drive women to be this way.

[/quote]

Cabal: If anything, the situation you describe above has only grown worse during the downturn. The parents of one of my players were hammered over the last few years (he was a mortgage broker and she was a Realtor) and their standard of living has plummeted. They seemed to tolerate each other before, but now it’s turned vile and she openly berates him publicly, which is painful and embarrassing to watch. He is a decent enough sort, and he almost acts like he deserves this treatment from her.

I know the kid is humiliated by this, but it’s not the exception, unfortunately. This entitlement mentality was very strong for a lot of folks and now that things have turned ugly, they’ve turned on each other. I don’t get the sense of shared sacrifice or determination (what my dad would call “grit” or “sand”) to weather the storm, what I get is middle-aged spoiled brats pissed off that the party has stopped.

Like I said in my earlier post, the sense of disconnection from reality is amazing and more than a little frightening. My grandma lived through the Great Depression and she was one tough lady, believe me. No bitching, no complaining; just a rock solid work ethic and the discipline to ride out the tough times.

[Author]

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