Ex-in-laws (3rd party creditors) want to foreclose on my condo

[Eugene]

Without disputing what others said above about the fishiness of deed of trust, and that it has to be challenged/voided in court, I have to say that so far everyone missed one important point.

What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?

Also:

Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?

Do they fully realize that, in the event that they go through with foreclosure and try to sell the condo, they’ll have to pay off the first loan, the lawyer, the realtor, property tax, mello-roos, HOA, etc. etc., and in the end they’ll end up getting 170k (if that), whereas allowing you to keep paying will improve their chances of getting full 200k?

If they are concerned about getting something rather than nothing, would they be open to an agreement where you somehow refinance, say, 150k out of their 200k:

– Right now you owe 135k to the bank and 200k to them;
– Instead, you get a new mortgage for 272k, they get 137k from the new lender and 13k from your savings, and they get a secured note for the remaining 50k at 6% for 10 years. (Since you expect to be able to save 25,000 in 2 years, you could, in principle, pay off that note in 4.)

This would involve some nontrivial loan juggling by the mortgage broker (I think), but in the end everyone should be better off.

[frenchlambda]

Thanks Eugene for your feedback.

See my answer below.

[quote=Eugene]
What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?
[/quote]

Here is exactly what the marital settlement agreement says:

18. COMMUNITY RESIDENCE
A. Husband shall be awarded, without offset, his separate, Wife’s separate and the community’s interest in the residence located at (address), subject to any and all encumbrances, including but not limited to the interest held by (ex-wife’s parents).
B. Within 60 days of the effective date of this agreement, Husband shall refinance property so that Wife is no longer liable for any debt associated with the residence. Wife shall cooperate with the refinance process, signing any documents necessary, or convenient, to facilitate the refinance. If Husband is unable to extinguish all loans through the refinance, he shall be solely responsible for the debts associated with the residence. Husband shall indemnify Wife, and hold Wife harmless, against any action brought for enforcement by any and all creditors claiming an interest in the residence. Husband will assure that (ex-wife’s parents) are paid in full pursuant the terms established between Husband and the (ex-wife’s parents).

[quote=Eugene]
Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?
[/quote]

Yes they are aware. They contacted my mortgage broker a little while ago to ensure that I was indeed in the process of refinancing.

[frenchlambda]

Thanks Eugene for your feedback.

See my answer below.

[quote=Eugene]
What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?
[/quote]

Here is exactly what the marital settlement agreement says:

18. COMMUNITY RESIDENCE
A. Husband shall be awarded, without offset, his separate, Wife’s separate and the community’s interest in the residence located at (address), subject to any and all encumbrances, including but not limited to the interest held by (ex-wife’s parents).
B. Within 60 days of the effective date of this agreement, Husband shall refinance property so that Wife is no longer liable for any debt associated with the residence. Wife shall cooperate with the refinance process, signing any documents necessary, or convenient, to facilitate the refinance. If Husband is unable to extinguish all loans through the refinance, he shall be solely responsible for the debts associated with the residence. Husband shall indemnify Wife, and hold Wife harmless, against any action brought for enforcement by any and all creditors claiming an interest in the residence. Husband will assure that (ex-wife’s parents) are paid in full pursuant the terms established between Husband and the (ex-wife’s parents).

[quote=Eugene]
Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?
[/quote]

Yes they are aware. They contacted my mortgage broker a little while ago to ensure that I was indeed in the process of refinancing.

[frenchlambda]

Thanks Eugene for your feedback.

See my answer below.

[quote=Eugene]
What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?
[/quote]

Here is exactly what the marital settlement agreement says:

18. COMMUNITY RESIDENCE
A. Husband shall be awarded, without offset, his separate, Wife’s separate and the community’s interest in the residence located at (address), subject to any and all encumbrances, including but not limited to the interest held by (ex-wife’s parents).
B. Within 60 days of the effective date of this agreement, Husband shall refinance property so that Wife is no longer liable for any debt associated with the residence. Wife shall cooperate with the refinance process, signing any documents necessary, or convenient, to facilitate the refinance. If Husband is unable to extinguish all loans through the refinance, he shall be solely responsible for the debts associated with the residence. Husband shall indemnify Wife, and hold Wife harmless, against any action brought for enforcement by any and all creditors claiming an interest in the residence. Husband will assure that (ex-wife’s parents) are paid in full pursuant the terms established between Husband and the (ex-wife’s parents).

[quote=Eugene]
Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?
[/quote]

Yes they are aware. They contacted my mortgage broker a little while ago to ensure that I was indeed in the process of refinancing.

[frenchlambda]

Thanks Eugene for your feedback.

See my answer below.

[quote=Eugene]
What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?
[/quote]

Here is exactly what the marital settlement agreement says:

18. COMMUNITY RESIDENCE
A. Husband shall be awarded, without offset, his separate, Wife’s separate and the community’s interest in the residence located at (address), subject to any and all encumbrances, including but not limited to the interest held by (ex-wife’s parents).
B. Within 60 days of the effective date of this agreement, Husband shall refinance property so that Wife is no longer liable for any debt associated with the residence. Wife shall cooperate with the refinance process, signing any documents necessary, or convenient, to facilitate the refinance. If Husband is unable to extinguish all loans through the refinance, he shall be solely responsible for the debts associated with the residence. Husband shall indemnify Wife, and hold Wife harmless, against any action brought for enforcement by any and all creditors claiming an interest in the residence. Husband will assure that (ex-wife’s parents) are paid in full pursuant the terms established between Husband and the (ex-wife’s parents).

[quote=Eugene]
Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?
[/quote]

Yes they are aware. They contacted my mortgage broker a little while ago to ensure that I was indeed in the process of refinancing.

[frenchlambda]

Thanks Eugene for your feedback.

See my answer below.

[quote=Eugene]
What exactly is the language of the divorce agreement where you agree to refinance the condo?
[/quote]

Here is exactly what the marital settlement agreement says:

18. COMMUNITY RESIDENCE
A. Husband shall be awarded, without offset, his separate, Wife’s separate and the community’s interest in the residence located at (address), subject to any and all encumbrances, including but not limited to the interest held by (ex-wife’s parents).
B. Within 60 days of the effective date of this agreement, Husband shall refinance property so that Wife is no longer liable for any debt associated with the residence. Wife shall cooperate with the refinance process, signing any documents necessary, or convenient, to facilitate the refinance. If Husband is unable to extinguish all loans through the refinance, he shall be solely responsible for the debts associated with the residence. Husband shall indemnify Wife, and hold Wife harmless, against any action brought for enforcement by any and all creditors claiming an interest in the residence. Husband will assure that (ex-wife’s parents) are paid in full pursuant the terms established between Husband and the (ex-wife’s parents).

[quote=Eugene]
Are your ex-in-laws aware that the property was appraised for 340k?
[/quote]

Yes they are aware. They contacted my mortgage broker a little while ago to ensure that I was indeed in the process of refinancing.

[waiting hawk]

[quote=frenchlambda]

she got a DUI while driving in the middle of the night with no lights and with my 3-year old daughter in the front seat with no belt. She spent the night in jail and was charged with “child endangerment”. As a co-dependent, I got her out of jail, paid a DUI lawyer to take her case and paid half of her treatment ($20K) in what is considered the best rehab center in the US (Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage). So that’s already close to $30K that I spent to save her.
When she got out of rehab after 3 1/2 months, she decided to move to a hotel room and take our daughter with her. She claimed that she wanted to focus on her recovery and it would be better to be by herself. After what had happened, the last thing I wanted to do was to let her go by herself with our daughter. She refused to listen. For the safety of my daughter, I had no other choice than to hire a lawyer who filed a restraining order against her.
Ultimately I filed for divorce at the same time.
The whole divorce case cost me another $13K.

3) As you can see, the main reason I am having difficulties refinancing now is because of all the money I spent for her and then to defend myself and our daughter. I was nice enough to offer her shared child custody when my attorney recommended full custody for me.
When I am asking her parents to give me a little break, I don’t feel that I am taking advantage of them. I did a lot for their daughter and I need some time to recuperate all that wasted money.
Yes they helped us but frankly we didn’t need their help. Back in 2006, we had qualified for the full loan and I didn’t want to have a loan with my in-laws. It usually makes things more complicated.

5) Really I am just $30K short to refinance. That’s why I was asking my ex-in-laws for a 2 year extension.
I guess I will have no other choice than taking $30K from my 401(k). Is it even possible to do so? What are the costs associated with taking money from a 401(k)? Will I have to pay a huge tax next year?[/quote]

Man I feel for you. I am so high strung that if my wife would have done that I would probably be in jail and im not bullSh@&in. Remeber even after you figure out the taxes and things on that 401k to secure that 30k you need you will be taking on another debt and will be counted against your monthly expenses for the refi. So if your already 40 or 45% dti (whatever that max is now) and if that loan throws it past the max dti you wont be able to refi unless you can do what I can on my 401k and take a longer loan for 30 years. At the current loan rates for a 401k loan its really not to bad but paying before taxed savings with after taxed income sucks. I wish you best of luck. That divorce was the best thing you could have done. Save those court papers and everything to show your daughter when she grows up asking questions. Those helped me understand my dads point of view when my mom bailed on us at the age of 5.

Sorry if post is kinda unreadable im tired for a kid thats BEEN TEETHING for over a year now its killing me.

[waiting hawk]

[quote=frenchlambda]

she got a DUI while driving in the middle of the night with no lights and with my 3-year old daughter in the front seat with no belt. She spent the night in jail and was charged with “child endangerment”. As a co-dependent, I got her out of jail, paid a DUI lawyer to take her case and paid half of her treatment ($20K) in what is considered the best rehab center in the US (Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage). So that’s already close to $30K that I spent to save her.
When she got out of rehab after 3 1/2 months, she decided to move to a hotel room and take our daughter with her. She claimed that she wanted to focus on her recovery and it would be better to be by herself. After what had happened, the last thing I wanted to do was to let her go by herself with our daughter. She refused to listen. For the safety of my daughter, I had no other choice than to hire a lawyer who filed a restraining order against her.
Ultimately I filed for divorce at the same time.
The whole divorce case cost me another $13K.

3) As you can see, the main reason I am having difficulties refinancing now is because of all the money I spent for her and then to defend myself and our daughter. I was nice enough to offer her shared child custody when my attorney recommended full custody for me.
When I am asking her parents to give me a little break, I don’t feel that I am taking advantage of them. I did a lot for their daughter and I need some time to recuperate all that wasted money.
Yes they helped us but frankly we didn’t need their help. Back in 2006, we had qualified for the full loan and I didn’t want to have a loan with my in-laws. It usually makes things more complicated.

5) Really I am just $30K short to refinance. That’s why I was asking my ex-in-laws for a 2 year extension.
I guess I will have no other choice than taking $30K from my 401(k). Is it even possible to do so? What are the costs associated with taking money from a 401(k)? Will I have to pay a huge tax next year?[/quote]

Man I feel for you. I am so high strung that if my wife would have done that I would probably be in jail and im not bullSh@&in. Remeber even after you figure out the taxes and things on that 401k to secure that 30k you need you will be taking on another debt and will be counted against your monthly expenses for the refi. So if your already 40 or 45% dti (whatever that max is now) and if that loan throws it past the max dti you wont be able to refi unless you can do what I can on my 401k and take a longer loan for 30 years. At the current loan rates for a 401k loan its really not to bad but paying before taxed savings with after taxed income sucks. I wish you best of luck. That divorce was the best thing you could have done. Save those court papers and everything to show your daughter when she grows up asking questions. Those helped me understand my dads point of view when my mom bailed on us at the age of 5.

Sorry if post is kinda unreadable im tired for a kid thats BEEN TEETHING for over a year now its killing me.

[waiting hawk]

[quote=frenchlambda]

she got a DUI while driving in the middle of the night with no lights and with my 3-year old daughter in the front seat with no belt. She spent the night in jail and was charged with “child endangerment”. As a co-dependent, I got her out of jail, paid a DUI lawyer to take her case and paid half of her treatment ($20K) in what is considered the best rehab center in the US (Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage). So that’s already close to $30K that I spent to save her.
When she got out of rehab after 3 1/2 months, she decided to move to a hotel room and take our daughter with her. She claimed that she wanted to focus on her recovery and it would be better to be by herself. After what had happened, the last thing I wanted to do was to let her go by herself with our daughter. She refused to listen. For the safety of my daughter, I had no other choice than to hire a lawyer who filed a restraining order against her.
Ultimately I filed for divorce at the same time.
The whole divorce case cost me another $13K.

3) As you can see, the main reason I am having difficulties refinancing now is because of all the money I spent for her and then to defend myself and our daughter. I was nice enough to offer her shared child custody when my attorney recommended full custody for me.
When I am asking her parents to give me a little break, I don’t feel that I am taking advantage of them. I did a lot for their daughter and I need some time to recuperate all that wasted money.
Yes they helped us but frankly we didn’t need their help. Back in 2006, we had qualified for the full loan and I didn’t want to have a loan with my in-laws. It usually makes things more complicated.

5) Really I am just $30K short to refinance. That’s why I was asking my ex-in-laws for a 2 year extension.
I guess I will have no other choice than taking $30K from my 401(k). Is it even possible to do so? What are the costs associated with taking money from a 401(k)? Will I have to pay a huge tax next year?[/quote]

Man I feel for you. I am so high strung that if my wife would have done that I would probably be in jail and im not bullSh@&in. Remeber even after you figure out the taxes and things on that 401k to secure that 30k you need you will be taking on another debt and will be counted against your monthly expenses for the refi. So if your already 40 or 45% dti (whatever that max is now) and if that loan throws it past the max dti you wont be able to refi unless you can do what I can on my 401k and take a longer loan for 30 years. At the current loan rates for a 401k loan its really not to bad but paying before taxed savings with after taxed income sucks. I wish you best of luck. That divorce was the best thing you could have done. Save those court papers and everything to show your daughter when she grows up asking questions. Those helped me understand my dads point of view when my mom bailed on us at the age of 5.

Sorry if post is kinda unreadable im tired for a kid thats BEEN TEETHING for over a year now its killing me.

[waiting hawk]

[quote=frenchlambda]

she got a DUI while driving in the middle of the night with no lights and with my 3-year old daughter in the front seat with no belt. She spent the night in jail and was charged with “child endangerment”. As a co-dependent, I got her out of jail, paid a DUI lawyer to take her case and paid half of her treatment ($20K) in what is considered the best rehab center in the US (Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage). So that’s already close to $30K that I spent to save her.
When she got out of rehab after 3 1/2 months, she decided to move to a hotel room and take our daughter with her. She claimed that she wanted to focus on her recovery and it would be better to be by herself. After what had happened, the last thing I wanted to do was to let her go by herself with our daughter. She refused to listen. For the safety of my daughter, I had no other choice than to hire a lawyer who filed a restraining order against her.
Ultimately I filed for divorce at the same time.
The whole divorce case cost me another $13K.

3) As you can see, the main reason I am having difficulties refinancing now is because of all the money I spent for her and then to defend myself and our daughter. I was nice enough to offer her shared child custody when my attorney recommended full custody for me.
When I am asking her parents to give me a little break, I don’t feel that I am taking advantage of them. I did a lot for their daughter and I need some time to recuperate all that wasted money.
Yes they helped us but frankly we didn’t need their help. Back in 2006, we had qualified for the full loan and I didn’t want to have a loan with my in-laws. It usually makes things more complicated.

5) Really I am just $30K short to refinance. That’s why I was asking my ex-in-laws for a 2 year extension.
I guess I will have no other choice than taking $30K from my 401(k). Is it even possible to do so? What are the costs associated with taking money from a 401(k)? Will I have to pay a huge tax next year?[/quote]

Man I feel for you. I am so high strung that if my wife would have done that I would probably be in jail and im not bullSh@&in. Remeber even after you figure out the taxes and things on that 401k to secure that 30k you need you will be taking on another debt and will be counted against your monthly expenses for the refi. So if your already 40 or 45% dti (whatever that max is now) and if that loan throws it past the max dti you wont be able to refi unless you can do what I can on my 401k and take a longer loan for 30 years. At the current loan rates for a 401k loan its really not to bad but paying before taxed savings with after taxed income sucks. I wish you best of luck. That divorce was the best thing you could have done. Save those court papers and everything to show your daughter when she grows up asking questions. Those helped me understand my dads point of view when my mom bailed on us at the age of 5.

Sorry if post is kinda unreadable im tired for a kid thats BEEN TEETHING for over a year now its killing me.

[waiting hawk]

[quote=frenchlambda]

she got a DUI while driving in the middle of the night with no lights and with my 3-year old daughter in the front seat with no belt. She spent the night in jail and was charged with “child endangerment”. As a co-dependent, I got her out of jail, paid a DUI lawyer to take her case and paid half of her treatment ($20K) in what is considered the best rehab center in the US (Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage). So that’s already close to $30K that I spent to save her.
When she got out of rehab after 3 1/2 months, she decided to move to a hotel room and take our daughter with her. She claimed that she wanted to focus on her recovery and it would be better to be by herself. After what had happened, the last thing I wanted to do was to let her go by herself with our daughter. She refused to listen. For the safety of my daughter, I had no other choice than to hire a lawyer who filed a restraining order against her.
Ultimately I filed for divorce at the same time.
The whole divorce case cost me another $13K.

3) As you can see, the main reason I am having difficulties refinancing now is because of all the money I spent for her and then to defend myself and our daughter. I was nice enough to offer her shared child custody when my attorney recommended full custody for me.
When I am asking her parents to give me a little break, I don’t feel that I am taking advantage of them. I did a lot for their daughter and I need some time to recuperate all that wasted money.
Yes they helped us but frankly we didn’t need their help. Back in 2006, we had qualified for the full loan and I didn’t want to have a loan with my in-laws. It usually makes things more complicated.

5) Really I am just $30K short to refinance. That’s why I was asking my ex-in-laws for a 2 year extension.
I guess I will have no other choice than taking $30K from my 401(k). Is it even possible to do so? What are the costs associated with taking money from a 401(k)? Will I have to pay a huge tax next year?[/quote]

Man I feel for you. I am so high strung that if my wife would have done that I would probably be in jail and im not bullSh@&in. Remeber even after you figure out the taxes and things on that 401k to secure that 30k you need you will be taking on another debt and will be counted against your monthly expenses for the refi. So if your already 40 or 45% dti (whatever that max is now) and if that loan throws it past the max dti you wont be able to refi unless you can do what I can on my 401k and take a longer loan for 30 years. At the current loan rates for a 401k loan its really not to bad but paying before taxed savings with after taxed income sucks. I wish you best of luck. That divorce was the best thing you could have done. Save those court papers and everything to show your daughter when she grows up asking questions. Those helped me understand my dads point of view when my mom bailed on us at the age of 5.

Sorry if post is kinda unreadable im tired for a kid thats BEEN TEETHING for over a year now its killing me.

[frenchlambda]

[quote=bearishgurl]
In addition, your ex-wife’s presumed “child-endangerment” charge from being arrested while driving could have been used for your benefit in a child-custody proceeding … but you (prematurely) gave it away.
[/quote]

I am fully aware of that and I now regret my decision.
However at the time I made this decision, I didn’t have much choice, again for practical reason.
At this time, I was working in Orange County and commuting 80 miles each way daily.
There was no way I could be on time to pick up my daughter at daycare 5 days a week.
I had to work out a special schedule with my company so that I could take care of my daughter 3 days in the work week. But there was still 2 days out of the week where I had to leave for work at 5.30am and return home no sooner than 7.00pm.
As I mentioned before, I am a French expat and have no family here whatsoever which makes my job as a single father even more difficult.

[frenchlambda]

[quote=bearishgurl]
In addition, your ex-wife’s presumed “child-endangerment” charge from being arrested while driving could have been used for your benefit in a child-custody proceeding … but you (prematurely) gave it away.
[/quote]

I am fully aware of that and I now regret my decision.
However at the time I made this decision, I didn’t have much choice, again for practical reason.
At this time, I was working in Orange County and commuting 80 miles each way daily.
There was no way I could be on time to pick up my daughter at daycare 5 days a week.
I had to work out a special schedule with my company so that I could take care of my daughter 3 days in the work week. But there was still 2 days out of the week where I had to leave for work at 5.30am and return home no sooner than 7.00pm.
As I mentioned before, I am a French expat and have no family here whatsoever which makes my job as a single father even more difficult.

[frenchlambda]

[quote=bearishgurl]
In addition, your ex-wife’s presumed “child-endangerment” charge from being arrested while driving could have been used for your benefit in a child-custody proceeding … but you (prematurely) gave it away.
[/quote]

I am fully aware of that and I now regret my decision.
However at the time I made this decision, I didn’t have much choice, again for practical reason.
At this time, I was working in Orange County and commuting 80 miles each way daily.
There was no way I could be on time to pick up my daughter at daycare 5 days a week.
I had to work out a special schedule with my company so that I could take care of my daughter 3 days in the work week. But there was still 2 days out of the week where I had to leave for work at 5.30am and return home no sooner than 7.00pm.
As I mentioned before, I am a French expat and have no family here whatsoever which makes my job as a single father even more difficult.

[frenchlambda]

[quote=bearishgurl]
In addition, your ex-wife’s presumed “child-endangerment” charge from being arrested while driving could have been used for your benefit in a child-custody proceeding … but you (prematurely) gave it away.
[/quote]

I am fully aware of that and I now regret my decision.
However at the time I made this decision, I didn’t have much choice, again for practical reason.
At this time, I was working in Orange County and commuting 80 miles each way daily.
There was no way I could be on time to pick up my daughter at daycare 5 days a week.
I had to work out a special schedule with my company so that I could take care of my daughter 3 days in the work week. But there was still 2 days out of the week where I had to leave for work at 5.30am and return home no sooner than 7.00pm.
As I mentioned before, I am a French expat and have no family here whatsoever which makes my job as a single father even more difficult.

[Author]

Posts