[UCGal]

[quote=Russell]Dowries aside, traditionally the brides family has paid more for the pair bonding ceremonies and rituals in our culture. The engagement ring, being seen as part of that may may not have been enough to tip the scales of economic equality in favor of the brides side. This is in response to the part of the OP’s question. “What does the groom get of equal value in return.” Now, everybody does what they want. That’s cool.
[/quote]

Hijack, sort of.
This is another area that is a huge waste of money… these $30-50k weddings. How many couples spend HUGE sums on a party that lasts a few hours. And the catering industry is taking advantage – they typically charge more per plate for a wedding than any other kind of event.

We did a small wedding in San Diego (where my family lived), then a bigger party at a catering hall in Philly (where we were living at the time.) Including travel, the honeymoon, the dress (made by my best friend!), flowers, everything… it was less than 6k. Like I said – that included travel and the honeymoon – as well as feeding 100 folks.

The catering hall in Philly tried to up the price when they realized it was semi-wedding related. By $20/plate. But we held them to the contract, pointing out that we’d been married for 5 weeks by the time we had the party.

The wedding industry is a total rip-off. But families spend huge sums.

[UCGal]

[quote=Russell]Dowries aside, traditionally the brides family has paid more for the pair bonding ceremonies and rituals in our culture. The engagement ring, being seen as part of that may may not have been enough to tip the scales of economic equality in favor of the brides side. This is in response to the part of the OP’s question. “What does the groom get of equal value in return.” Now, everybody does what they want. That’s cool.
[/quote]

Hijack, sort of.
This is another area that is a huge waste of money… these $30-50k weddings. How many couples spend HUGE sums on a party that lasts a few hours. And the catering industry is taking advantage – they typically charge more per plate for a wedding than any other kind of event.

We did a small wedding in San Diego (where my family lived), then a bigger party at a catering hall in Philly (where we were living at the time.) Including travel, the honeymoon, the dress (made by my best friend!), flowers, everything… it was less than 6k. Like I said – that included travel and the honeymoon – as well as feeding 100 folks.

The catering hall in Philly tried to up the price when they realized it was semi-wedding related. By $20/plate. But we held them to the contract, pointing out that we’d been married for 5 weeks by the time we had the party.

The wedding industry is a total rip-off. But families spend huge sums.

[UCGal]

[quote=Russell]Dowries aside, traditionally the brides family has paid more for the pair bonding ceremonies and rituals in our culture. The engagement ring, being seen as part of that may may not have been enough to tip the scales of economic equality in favor of the brides side. This is in response to the part of the OP’s question. “What does the groom get of equal value in return.” Now, everybody does what they want. That’s cool.
[/quote]

Hijack, sort of.
This is another area that is a huge waste of money… these $30-50k weddings. How many couples spend HUGE sums on a party that lasts a few hours. And the catering industry is taking advantage – they typically charge more per plate for a wedding than any other kind of event.

We did a small wedding in San Diego (where my family lived), then a bigger party at a catering hall in Philly (where we were living at the time.) Including travel, the honeymoon, the dress (made by my best friend!), flowers, everything… it was less than 6k. Like I said – that included travel and the honeymoon – as well as feeding 100 folks.

The catering hall in Philly tried to up the price when they realized it was semi-wedding related. By $20/plate. But we held them to the contract, pointing out that we’d been married for 5 weeks by the time we had the party.

The wedding industry is a total rip-off. But families spend huge sums.

[UCGal]

[quote=flu][quote=UCGal]I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)[/quote]

hijack.. Mind you tell us what happened (in general terms)?[/quote]

In 2007 we hired a general contractor to build a companion unit for my in-laws to live in. Our lot is sloped – so there was grading involved. The contractor, by his own accounting, was well ahead of work delivered, and was demanding $37k payment. When we refused to pay more money in advance of work delivered, he abandoned the job.

Since then we’ve collected on his bond, and on one of the subs bond (because he facilitated the abandonment – removing equipment, materials, etc.) We hired a 2nd general to finish the project. We’re now in binding arbitration with the first GC who abandoned the job for the damages. It cost us quite a bit more to get any GC to consider taking on a project started and abandoned by another GC… so our project costs were signifcantly higher than the original contract. Additionally, we were hit with preliminary notices by unpaid subs – so the money we’d paid the first GC didn’t go to the subs doing some of the work.

The State AG is also prosecuting the GC as a result of the CSLB complaint we filed. Let me tell you – this has been a long process… The CSLB is not consumer friendly, doesn’t have the resources to investigate, let alone refer for prosecution. But we have a very strong case.

The GC we’re in litigation is in financial distress. So we’ll likely win a judgement but never collect. That’s a big fear since we are paying arbitration fees, etc. to pursue this.

The good news is that we were able to afford (by decimating our savings) to finish the companion unit and my in-laws are now living there. My father in law is in a wheelchair and the companion unit was designed with his needs in mind… roll in shower, wider doors, ramp to get down the hill, etc. It’s working out well for our family even if it did cost us almost as much as our primary house to build it.

[UCGal]

[quote=flu][quote=UCGal]I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)[/quote]

hijack.. Mind you tell us what happened (in general terms)?[/quote]

In 2007 we hired a general contractor to build a companion unit for my in-laws to live in. Our lot is sloped – so there was grading involved. The contractor, by his own accounting, was well ahead of work delivered, and was demanding $37k payment. When we refused to pay more money in advance of work delivered, he abandoned the job.

Since then we’ve collected on his bond, and on one of the subs bond (because he facilitated the abandonment – removing equipment, materials, etc.) We hired a 2nd general to finish the project. We’re now in binding arbitration with the first GC who abandoned the job for the damages. It cost us quite a bit more to get any GC to consider taking on a project started and abandoned by another GC… so our project costs were signifcantly higher than the original contract. Additionally, we were hit with preliminary notices by unpaid subs – so the money we’d paid the first GC didn’t go to the subs doing some of the work.

The State AG is also prosecuting the GC as a result of the CSLB complaint we filed. Let me tell you – this has been a long process… The CSLB is not consumer friendly, doesn’t have the resources to investigate, let alone refer for prosecution. But we have a very strong case.

The GC we’re in litigation is in financial distress. So we’ll likely win a judgement but never collect. That’s a big fear since we are paying arbitration fees, etc. to pursue this.

The good news is that we were able to afford (by decimating our savings) to finish the companion unit and my in-laws are now living there. My father in law is in a wheelchair and the companion unit was designed with his needs in mind… roll in shower, wider doors, ramp to get down the hill, etc. It’s working out well for our family even if it did cost us almost as much as our primary house to build it.

[UCGal]

[quote=flu][quote=UCGal]I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)[/quote]

hijack.. Mind you tell us what happened (in general terms)?[/quote]

In 2007 we hired a general contractor to build a companion unit for my in-laws to live in. Our lot is sloped – so there was grading involved. The contractor, by his own accounting, was well ahead of work delivered, and was demanding $37k payment. When we refused to pay more money in advance of work delivered, he abandoned the job.

Since then we’ve collected on his bond, and on one of the subs bond (because he facilitated the abandonment – removing equipment, materials, etc.) We hired a 2nd general to finish the project. We’re now in binding arbitration with the first GC who abandoned the job for the damages. It cost us quite a bit more to get any GC to consider taking on a project started and abandoned by another GC… so our project costs were signifcantly higher than the original contract. Additionally, we were hit with preliminary notices by unpaid subs – so the money we’d paid the first GC didn’t go to the subs doing some of the work.

The State AG is also prosecuting the GC as a result of the CSLB complaint we filed. Let me tell you – this has been a long process… The CSLB is not consumer friendly, doesn’t have the resources to investigate, let alone refer for prosecution. But we have a very strong case.

The GC we’re in litigation is in financial distress. So we’ll likely win a judgement but never collect. That’s a big fear since we are paying arbitration fees, etc. to pursue this.

The good news is that we were able to afford (by decimating our savings) to finish the companion unit and my in-laws are now living there. My father in law is in a wheelchair and the companion unit was designed with his needs in mind… roll in shower, wider doors, ramp to get down the hill, etc. It’s working out well for our family even if it did cost us almost as much as our primary house to build it.

[UCGal]

[quote=flu][quote=UCGal]I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)[/quote]

hijack.. Mind you tell us what happened (in general terms)?[/quote]

In 2007 we hired a general contractor to build a companion unit for my in-laws to live in. Our lot is sloped – so there was grading involved. The contractor, by his own accounting, was well ahead of work delivered, and was demanding $37k payment. When we refused to pay more money in advance of work delivered, he abandoned the job.

Since then we’ve collected on his bond, and on one of the subs bond (because he facilitated the abandonment – removing equipment, materials, etc.) We hired a 2nd general to finish the project. We’re now in binding arbitration with the first GC who abandoned the job for the damages. It cost us quite a bit more to get any GC to consider taking on a project started and abandoned by another GC… so our project costs were signifcantly higher than the original contract. Additionally, we were hit with preliminary notices by unpaid subs – so the money we’d paid the first GC didn’t go to the subs doing some of the work.

The State AG is also prosecuting the GC as a result of the CSLB complaint we filed. Let me tell you – this has been a long process… The CSLB is not consumer friendly, doesn’t have the resources to investigate, let alone refer for prosecution. But we have a very strong case.

The GC we’re in litigation is in financial distress. So we’ll likely win a judgement but never collect. That’s a big fear since we are paying arbitration fees, etc. to pursue this.

The good news is that we were able to afford (by decimating our savings) to finish the companion unit and my in-laws are now living there. My father in law is in a wheelchair and the companion unit was designed with his needs in mind… roll in shower, wider doors, ramp to get down the hill, etc. It’s working out well for our family even if it did cost us almost as much as our primary house to build it.

[UCGal]

[quote=flu][quote=UCGal]I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)[/quote]

hijack.. Mind you tell us what happened (in general terms)?[/quote]

In 2007 we hired a general contractor to build a companion unit for my in-laws to live in. Our lot is sloped – so there was grading involved. The contractor, by his own accounting, was well ahead of work delivered, and was demanding $37k payment. When we refused to pay more money in advance of work delivered, he abandoned the job.

Since then we’ve collected on his bond, and on one of the subs bond (because he facilitated the abandonment – removing equipment, materials, etc.) We hired a 2nd general to finish the project. We’re now in binding arbitration with the first GC who abandoned the job for the damages. It cost us quite a bit more to get any GC to consider taking on a project started and abandoned by another GC… so our project costs were signifcantly higher than the original contract. Additionally, we were hit with preliminary notices by unpaid subs – so the money we’d paid the first GC didn’t go to the subs doing some of the work.

The State AG is also prosecuting the GC as a result of the CSLB complaint we filed. Let me tell you – this has been a long process… The CSLB is not consumer friendly, doesn’t have the resources to investigate, let alone refer for prosecution. But we have a very strong case.

The GC we’re in litigation is in financial distress. So we’ll likely win a judgement but never collect. That’s a big fear since we are paying arbitration fees, etc. to pursue this.

The good news is that we were able to afford (by decimating our savings) to finish the companion unit and my in-laws are now living there. My father in law is in a wheelchair and the companion unit was designed with his needs in mind… roll in shower, wider doors, ramp to get down the hill, etc. It’s working out well for our family even if it did cost us almost as much as our primary house to build it.

[UCGal]

[quote=SD Realtor]Actually the regular buyers are the least of your problems. It is the people who will sacrifice return on the purchase just to get a home. They end up driving your prices up more then the regulars. Regulars have a threshold of return at which they will simply stop bidding. Those who are more novice tend to be the ones who kill bids.[/quote]
Is it possible those people are buying the houses for themselves… to actually live in them? Or are they just rookie investor/flippers?

[UCGal]

[quote=SD Realtor]Actually the regular buyers are the least of your problems. It is the people who will sacrifice return on the purchase just to get a home. They end up driving your prices up more then the regulars. Regulars have a threshold of return at which they will simply stop bidding. Those who are more novice tend to be the ones who kill bids.[/quote]
Is it possible those people are buying the houses for themselves… to actually live in them? Or are they just rookie investor/flippers?

[UCGal]

[quote=SD Realtor]Actually the regular buyers are the least of your problems. It is the people who will sacrifice return on the purchase just to get a home. They end up driving your prices up more then the regulars. Regulars have a threshold of return at which they will simply stop bidding. Those who are more novice tend to be the ones who kill bids.[/quote]
Is it possible those people are buying the houses for themselves… to actually live in them? Or are they just rookie investor/flippers?

[UCGal]

[quote=SD Realtor]Actually the regular buyers are the least of your problems. It is the people who will sacrifice return on the purchase just to get a home. They end up driving your prices up more then the regulars. Regulars have a threshold of return at which they will simply stop bidding. Those who are more novice tend to be the ones who kill bids.[/quote]
Is it possible those people are buying the houses for themselves… to actually live in them? Or are they just rookie investor/flippers?

[UCGal]

[quote=SD Realtor]Actually the regular buyers are the least of your problems. It is the people who will sacrifice return on the purchase just to get a home. They end up driving your prices up more then the regulars. Regulars have a threshold of return at which they will simply stop bidding. Those who are more novice tend to be the ones who kill bids.[/quote]
Is it possible those people are buying the houses for themselves… to actually live in them? Or are they just rookie investor/flippers?

[UCGal]

I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)

[UCGal]

I don’t know a good CPA – but I think it’s important you get one.

Bankruptcy will NOT wipe out tax debts or student loans. They’re specifically excluded – as is child support obligations and judgements against you where fraud was shown.

(I’m currently in litigation and fully expect the judgement we’ll win to be wiped out by bankruptcy… so I’ve been reading up on bankruptcy rules and what we’ll need to have fraud established on our judgement.)

[Author]

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