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UCGal
ParticipantKev –
Reading this thread and the breaking up thread… I think you’d be wise to have a prenup with any future potential bride. The prenup would take away your financial fears that your bride is out to get your assets.
You seem to assume all women are gold diggers and have enough anger about it that I would guess you’d be unsuccessful at marriage.
FWIW – my BFF had to pay her ex a lump sum alimony payment. It totally sucked for her because she lost her job in the dot.com bust right before it was due (18 months after the dissolution.) So alimony goes both ways.
Participant[quote=kev374][quote=6packscaredy]The courts can force a divorced wage earner to work or be thrown in jail for contempt. It’s not slavery. It’s the way it works. The system…[/quote]
Which is why the system sucks and more men are realizing this everyday. So let’s take an example situation.
Both husband and wife are in their early 60s when they divorce. They have been married 20 years, wife was stay at home for the last 20 years. Both had planned to retire between 60 and 65. Now, say the marital assets are around $300,000, each gets $150k.
Wife decides to take the $150k and retire, Husband wishes to do the same. So, are you telling me that the wife can do this and not only does she get to retire but a court will force the husband to continue busting his ass for the next 10, 15 or 20 years to pay her alimony while she is sipping margaritas in Cancun? Are you f-cking kidding me??
A lot is made about the sacrifices a woman makes by giving up her career and maintaining the household but what is often not said is that many women enjoy a much upgraded lifestyle throughout the marriage that they would never have access to on their own, they get a marital settlement that puts them way ahead of the savings they would’ve achieved on their own and that is not enough for them? They still want to continue getting support?
I can understand alimony in very limited cases where the wife will be jobless and destitute, but if there are substantial marital assets and the wife is healthy then not a cent of alimony needs to be awarded regardless of the length of the marriage.
Giving alimony to someone who gets $150-200k cash in a marital settlement is obscene, many people don’t even have that kind of money period![/quote]
In your scenario – I presume the wife worked before they got married – otherwise how did she survive to age 40?
I rarely see alimony for more than 5 years. And women usually end up financially worse off after divorce – so I don’t see it as a lucrative career choice… (career choice being SAHM then alimony.)
In your scenario also – they both would likely have to work… Neither qualifies for SS yet, and $150k will not get you very far. The wife would qualify for SS on her husbands record when she hits 62, unless she remarries, since she was married to him for more than 10 years.
Your hypothetical scenario is bogus and full of holes. Neither party is retiring.
ParticipantWe were there right before Thanksgiving. It’s one of my favorite national parks.
ParticipantJust put in a request for a copy at the local library.
(Too cheap to buy books when free books are available.)
ParticipantI like Blogstar’s description of a hybrid family.
When we had our oldest – both my husband and I switched from full time to part time. It was a good job market at the time so we were in a position to negotiate. Neither of us went back to full time – 13 years later, although I’m less part time than I originally was.
My husband just put in his paperwork for retirement and will be a full time SAHD. This works well for our family, him taking early retirement… since our kids attend non-neighborhood schools and the driving has increased.
We have neighbors who’ve taken turns with the SAHP thing… And the working parent aggressively pushing their career. Now both are working – but the kids are teenagers. I think the dad (who took at least 7 years off when the kids were younger) is working part time… but working as a professional. (Both are highly educated engineers.)
I agree with the statements that you should not get married unless you are sure. And that you should be on the same page about kids and finances before you get married. And if you’re planning on kids – parenting expectations should be figured out ahead of time.
ParticipantI’m a huge costco shopper. Shop there weekly for the bulk of our groceries… but have only returned 2 items in more than a decade of shopping there. One was a still-in-packaging item I’d impulse bought and thought better of – the other was avocados there were spoiled.
I see tv’s coming back – after big football weekends – all the time. I think people buy them – invite their buddies over for the big screen experience, then return the tv.
ParticipantI’m probably wrong about this but IIRC the zoning las that specify max number of people factor in whether the occupants are related or just roommates. I read this in context of anti-mini dorms regulations for the SDSU area.
If the are related/family you’ll have less recourse.
ParticipantMy gut instinct is take the cash.
But I always try to make the comparables more apple to apple.
If I were to buy an income annuity for 20 year period certain (in other words – it pays for 20 years, not a month more or less – benificiaries get it if you die sooner.)
An annuity that pays $8750/month for 20 years would cost you: 1,558,361. (This is from immediateannuities.com plugging in single male age 40).Then you have to look at taxes. If you take the lump sum, and pay taxes on it – it’s mostly taxed at the maximum bracket. So you have a one time huge hit. If you take the annuity – that’s $105k/year – which means a much smaller portion of the money is taxed at the high rate. (Especially if you quit your job).
So… after doing the math – I’d do the annuity, and invest it in index funds. (And push my retirement sooner.)
January 13, 2014 at 12:27 PM in reply to: Off Topic: How much home can you afford-not what you think #769722Participant[quote=spdrun]
The actual winner has a choice between getting that home (which most likely they won’t take it because they wouldn’t be able to afford the income taxes on the home + property tax + other costs of upkeeping the home)
Arrange a loan at 50% LTV (easy enough to do, regardless of income) to cover taxes and other expenses till the home is sold.[/quote]
The HGTV house grand prize includes $250k cash – presumably to pay taxes and have enough left over to fill the tank of the gas hog car that comes with it.
(The GM SUV fits in the garage with literally just centimeters to spare… Why not build a slightly deeper garage if you’re giving away a car that is so oversized?)
Participant[quote=6packscaredy]ifa dog is perceived as a human family member why leave at home?[/quote]
Maybe I’m a bad dog owner (from a dog owner’s perspective). My dog is my pet. And yes- my kids come first before my dog.
My dog does add value to our household – but he’s a secondary family member… not a primary.
Heck – I don’t even let him get on the furniture. He has a perfectly good dog bed- and I don’t like the fur on the couch. He knows he’s not the Alpha in the house… He follows the rules.
We’ve discussed possibly taking him out offleash. And vetoed that idea. If he saw a rabbit, bird, squirrel – he’d take off. Even though he’s very well behaved on leash. He’s a dog. Not a human… dog instincts win out.
I love my dog. Have even nicknamed him “the wonderdog”. But he’s a dog…not a human.
I think too many dog owners forget the idea that dogs are animals with dog-instincts, not human instincts. Love your dog for it’s dogginess… don’t try to make it a human. And deal with the dogginess by using a leash in public, giving it exercise, cleaning up after it if it poops in public, and accepting that your dog might not always be nice.
ParticipantI heard part of it on the radio. He’s pretty funny.
My kids didn’t like his singing. LOL. They have a point, his voice isn’t as good as he seems to think it is.Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]Raising dogs is like raising kids. Takes effort and dedication. Lots of people ruin it for everybody else.[/quote]
This.I have more problems with some dog owners, than the dogs. Dogs that are well trained, are not a problem in public. But so few dogs are well trained.
That said – we take our dog for walks around the neighborhood, and sometimes for walks on the beach (before 9am when they must leave) but the dog stays home when we go out to run errands or eat. I don’t understand why you’d bring your dog with you to Lowes or Home Depot… to ask them advice about paint colors?
ParticipantA former coworker of DH sends her son to Albert Einstein Middle School (charter school).
It’s in your geographic boundaries – just. (Just east of 805, just north of 94).She’s super pleased with the school and would have moved him if she wasn’t. Her son is very bright and seems to be thriving. We see them twice a year when the old firm has reunions. It might be worth looking into.
ParticipantJust realized – your diamond in the rough is the same grade as my younger son – so they might end up attending together.
I re-read your post and saw you wanted project based learning. Roosevelt isn’t quite as project based as High Tech Middle but it is more project based than our neighborhood school.
We looked at High Tech Middle and have friends who attend there. But it’s even further west.
The application process there requires you to attend an informational meeting before they let you apply. Then it’s a lottery by zip code. We didn’t get in because too many of our neighbors were also applying. Coming from east county – you might have better odds.
Also – since it’s a charter school – it’s application is SEPARATE from the choice application – so you can apply to High Tech and not impact your choice application – then make a decision based on which (or both) accepts you. You’re increasing your odds.
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