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scaredyclassic
Participantmale power and dominance reaches its apotheosis in current policing techniques and power. this article about officer holtzclaw and his getting away with raping vulnerable female arrestees/drug addicts kinda sums up the carte blance cops get:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a49050/daniel-holtzclaw-trial-oklahoma/
I think your feeling that the police are our friends, and get a lot of leeway to exercise their testosterone filled rages on alleged perps, is simply buying into, perhaps unconsciously, the dominant male hold on control of women in our society. cops = male power = sexism at its very worst.
Participantmaybe the oldest one will move back in with us and commute for a while. that would be very good if it all worked out just right. we like him so much. it would be kind of strange if he stayed and got married and there were kids here too. actually, that would be amazing.
maybe it’s just a fantasy, but from my perspective, I cannot think of anything I would like more than a multigenerational household, if Im the oldest. not so much if i were in the middle. probably be great for the little guys.
Participant[quote=spdrun]That sounds like prison not growing up. Gotta love America, happy Vet’s Day!
This is what we fought for?[/quote]
in the future, all veterans will be robots and drones, anyway.
Participanti think my reproductive strategy was obedience. seems to have worked, at least till now.
ParticipantRaising children is an uncertain thing; success is reached only after a life of battle and worry.
Democritusi would say probably the best strategy is to take each kid exactly as they are. just like we shouldnt try to change our spouse, we should just let it all be.
but i have a feeling that involves acknowledging boys and girls are just different.
i try to take the long view and from that perspective, not much of the daily disagreement s or shortcomings matter.
ParticipantMother’s are crazymaking…stop caring so much.
Here is Louise gluck on that…
Brown circle
My mother wants to know
why, if I hate
family so much,
I went ahead and
had one. I don’t
answer my mother.
What I hated
was being a child,
having no choice about
what people I loved.I don’t love my son
the way I meant to love him.
I thought I’d be
the lover of orchids who finds
red trillium growing
in the pine shade, and doesn’t
touch it, doesn’t need
to possess it. What I am
is the scientist,
who comes to that flower
with a magnifying glass
and doesn’t leave, though
the sun burns a brown
circle of grass around
the flower. Which is
more or less the way
my mother loved me.I must learn
to forgive my mother,
now that I am helpless
to spare my son.Louise Glück
ParticipantCaring for old people just isn’t in our culture. Better/more efficient to let underpaid people do a half assed job.
ParticipantI think most men feel that women’s constant housecleaning has very little to no value. It’s just too much. Just let it be.
ParticipantMicrorwaves. A quick pass with a swiffer. I see minivans with families scaring McDonald’s in temecula. Day care. I’m not sure it’s worth much in general, just to the right buyer. Limited market.
Men also a net loss.
We aren’t selecting for attributes actively. Just letting the market work. If people have no value, womens,work has no value. If you can afford children by all means, have thrm.
It’s just most people really barely csn.
Participantcouple minutes each. kids dont write barely anythign in school anyway. its all quick grade worksheets.
level of crap is high everywhere. we live ina sea of bullshit. its just teachers are soft.
Participanthttp://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/11/06/_need_a_mom_service_starts_in_brooklyn.html
huh. a new service in brookly, $40 an hour, you get to hang out with a “mom” who will listen to your problems and teach you how to sew on abutton.
maybe the marketplace really can sort out all this supposedly unique women’s work.
what a bleak world this is…
“Need a Mom is a service through which busy and/or emotionally needy customers can purchase, for $40 an hour, “a short-term, temporary” mother, as Nina Keneally’s website puts it: “When you need a mom … not just YOUR mom.” Keneally, a Brooklynite, will sit with you at a coffee house listening to your love-life woes. She will teach you how to sew a button back on a shirt. She’ll accompany you to Whole Foods and help you cook a meal with the groceries you buy.
One thing Keneally won’t do: actually be your friend, as in for real. Forty dollars an hour can’t buy you love.
In the few weeks since she’s been in business, Keneally’s attracted a bevy of press coverage that belies the size of her actual business—just six paying clients so far, with some more who have expressed interest. An agent from William Morris Endeavor has also gotten in touch about television possibilities, as Keneally told me when I caught up with her earlier this week.
Need a Mom started as an informal freebie, or what a less commercial age would call “talking to acquaintances.” Keneally and her husband, a stagehand on the Book of Mormon, moved to Bushwick two years ago after raising two sons in suburban Connecticut. Over time the twentysomethings surrounding her at yoga classes or volunteer projects began confiding in her, no doubt seeing her as a stand-in for Mom—she was, after all, the oldest person in the room.
After talking several of them through job losses and bad breakups, it occurred to Keneally—who worked for a number of years as a substance abuse counselor—that maybe there was a business model lurking in these new relationships. “There are people who have a mentor in their professional lives; now I am doing that in their personal lives,” she told me. Her clients need help with, for example, “writing an intelligent letter to a landlord to get a rent deposit back.”
But Keneally’s parenting skills have another application. “I am happy to talk to young parents, whose own parents are far away,” she says. “If you are a young parent without any parent nearby to talk to, that can be one of the loneliest things in the world.” Just one thing: Don’t call her a “substitute grandparent.” She’s not your child’s grandma any more than she’s your mom.
Is Need a Mom, as tiny and nascent as it is, a sign of the times? People of means can buy emotional labor and all the fawning attention they want. Haute nannies who have college degrees and speak Mandarin can watch their kids while they attend sessions with “wealth therapists.” They can even buy friend equivalents, as Richard Kirshenbaum pointed out in the New York Observer a few years back—everyone from the art consultant to the fashion stylist might also be getting paid just to hang around.
In The Outsourced Self: Intimate Life in Market Times, Arlie Hochschild writes about how overworked Americans, used to living in a society where almost any human contact can be reduced to a financial transaction and outsourced, have turned to the service sector to meet needs that were formerly provided by family, neighbors, and friends. Hiring help for everything from organizing a closet to planning a child’s birthday party has been normalized. Toddlers who once played in parks now go to outfits like My Gym.
Paid companionship is drifting down the food chain. While kiddie-play classes and rent-a-relative services are not for the poor, the amount of money they actually cost is, for some, an affordable luxury. It’s sort of the equivalent of buying a Gucci-branded keychain—you need to have some means to make the purchase, but you don’t need to spend a few thousand dollars on a handbag.
If you can’t afford Need a Mom’s rates, by the way, Keneally says she’s happy to barter. She has a Shar-Pei, for instance, and can always use a dog walker.
Participantthe outside work can be streamlined. or it could be overwhelming.
any halfway intelligent person could get it pretty damn minimalized.
Participantif by womens work you mean the birthing and raising of little people, long term, id say women’s work will be valued even lower, probably quite a bit lower because as i see it, people are increasingly worth less and less, maybe even have a negative value in most cases. people are not needed. we dont want excess syrians. we dont need more workers. we have enough consumers.theres no work for them, no money for them, they a re just sucking up resources and polluting us into obliivion.
probably, in an efficient marketplace, we need to value birthing even lower. perhaps even tax it. yes, why not; a $20,000 tax per birth … I mean, people pay more than that to adopt a child. thats not fair. we used th e tax code to give child tax credits. if we want true equality, lets stop making women into baby machines, lets get the tax code working int he right direction of saving the planet and save us from ourselves.
someties i feel like we are becoming like those desertified african countries, where it is just incomprehensible how the women can keep having babies in spite of the horrid conditions, the lack of food and water and opportunity. yet they keep on having kids, lots of them, more than we do, probably, on average.
should those birthing women be lauded for doing women’s work in those desertified lands? Should they get even more food than the women who ahve no kids?
Similarly, in our country, i sometimes darkly think that reproduction shoudl only be for the successful, the people who have the money and social capital to see it through. making “birthing” pay higher is just like promoting childbirth among the most impoverished and desperate in foreign lands. we dont want your offspring.
this is a very bleak view, and may not represent my actual viewpoint, but it is a thought that crosses my neural pathways from time to time. people of america, you just cannot afford to have a baby. some days, this is my true view. in my own case, we were marginally qualified, i’d say barely ont he edge of makign it. and we were doing well…
so this whole bringing children into the world thing is really a net loser. we definitely dont want to incentivize even more people to make more people, especially dumb people. women and mass reproduction are obsolete, maybe, except for the smartest and healthiest ones.
what else is women’s work, exactly, other than making kids and child care? everything else seems pretty much split or outsourced. i guess we can argue about who is doing more housework, but that’s just artificially created work, or work that need not be done. what else is essentially women’s work that cant be outsourced pretty easily…
i imagine the retort is, society cannot go on without more people…and yeah, maybe that’s true, a society based on pyramid schemes, leverage, and ever increasing consumption. but society could go on a really long time even if the birth rate dropped 90%….we’d skew older….but wed go on…
more people, more births , more competition, more fighting over resources.
the way to peace is to stop all this damned women’s work, stop creating more people fighting over less and less scraps. women’s work is worth way less than nothing, it is in fact the instigator of wars and deatha dn destruction, this ceaseless ever increasing humanity. no it’s not men destroying the world, but births, slowly, human by human, crawling into this world with infinite hunger and desire, and men, men can do nothing but fight for more resources for all these people, people, more and more peoples. stop, for the love of G-d, for the sake of us all, please stop all this women’s work. or at least tax the hell out of it. maybe i coudlve talked my wife out of more kids if there were a hefty tax.
of course, then i would not have my amazing little one…
ParticipantBut women can do whatever they like now.
Except they cant.
Because biology is destiny.
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