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NotCranky
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]Unnatural, in the most basic sense of the word.
But people are odd. There’s all kinds of permutations.
In general this isn’t how we are wired.
I need more facts. But this isn’t a marker of strong psychological or physical health.[/quote]Many successful people today are stopping at only one child, that is risky from a genetic point of view. Even people who could afford many more children. Are they physically weak and psychologically unhealthy? Permutations?
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=Blogstar]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.[/quote]
I do agree that it’s all about our selfish, selfish genes.[/quote]
True, except for when it is not. In reproductive years more so but not even then…lots of men raise other men’s kids with amazing devotion. I have a very successful friend from a “good” familly. At 32 he married a woman of modest means, with serious life shortening health issues, a terrible past pretty much from childhood up to the point he met her. She had two boys from different fathers, a third boy from a yet another father had already committed suicide at a very young age. They were married faithfully until her illnesses finally took her down. There was no perverted ulterior motive , like getting at the boys or something evil like that. He is still close to them and a fully involved grandfather to be.You can say there might be a lot of rescuer enabler stuff or that he is a saint, but you can’t say his selfish genes ruled.
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]I am off kilter[/quote]
That means your wife is short or that she won’t think you are funny even though you are. or both.Participant[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=flyer]Not all beautiful women are vacuous gold diggers, just as not all handsome men are shallow trophy wife collectors, and I have to agree, to each his/her own when choosing a partner for all of the right
reasons–love, happiness, achieving life goals, etc., etc.The wedding, the ring, the fabulous honeymoon, the great house, and all of the “stuff” are nice, and we’ve all been there, but, IMO, what makes the relationship lasting and beautiful is the deeper bond that’s been forged by things that money can’t buy.[/quote]
We choose in part on an irrational level. The numbers lie deep in our DNA: a certain curve …A certain expression. A man’s knees. A tone. A certain beard and we are off to the races.
We are all songbirds in the spring…[/quote]
Symmetry is a good indicator of good genes…if you ever look at people considered physically beautiful you will notice that they have excellent symmetry. My wife said my hands appealed to her…I have five fingers on each one.
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]Zk, the woman is my friend and she’s always been nice to me. She likes me because I convinced someone to support her in a past endeavor when other people were against her. Anyway, I choose to see her side rather than just reduce her situation to that of a kept woman.
She’s very intelligent and capable. I thInk her intrinsic worth is quite high.[/quote]
What’s the “intrinsic worth” of the old guy ?ParticipantAt the extremes, the trophy wife and the trophy wife seeking seem to be succumbing to some kind of neurosis. So I suppose they are not really to be laughed at either.
Participantnjtosd,
If you don’t get that my using the scale is rhetorical to bridge gaps in the conversation with a twinge of dark humor, not absolute…well you don’t get it!
I imagine everyone gets that there is no absolute scale.ParticipantKev, I think your should have looked at the hate mail or whatever it was and said to yourself
“good she’s venting if she needs to”. Hopefully it helps her . That’s what a gentleman would do. If you think about her at all, you must only hope for the best for her unless you are unkind. Unless you are crazy, eventually you wan’t begrudge her for her failings, so get started now. Don’t get worked up about it. If she stalks call the cops. Rehashing your version of who she is is a big mistake. Let G-d deal with that. None of your business anymore. Don’t let her be your ex, let her be your “prior girlfriend” or a ” woman you dated for a while” . it’s nothing anymore ,so treat it that way. Rehashing over what a stupid and unworthy person your “ex” is , you couldn’t do worse than that. Might as well have married her.If you are a good catch in your mind ,just think about that and go get someone new. It’s easy at your age if you are. Women want to meet you …just get someone new and for god’s sake don’t harp on your “ex” to her, unless you want to make sure she isn’t hoping for a second date.
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]Sure I understand that it’s not all looks and money. Each person is free to define his own parameters.
But if the basic premise is that people deserve each other, then I’m a loss to explain the divorce rate.[/quote]
A lot of people who deserve each other actually can’t tolerate each other or are otherwise mismatched. I shouldn’t have brought up divorce, divorce and breakups are different than water seeking it’s own level.They are not mutually exclusive at all. Scaredy’s system could help though , if one person aged better than the other he could get them to eat a lot of donuts and balance things out.
ParticipantI don’t know, there is a lot of dark humor in here. Scaredy’s business would be for fine tuning …he is not a miracle worker or a plastic surgeon. I doubt people diverge on score that much, but can still diverge on compatibility if they stupidly want to belittle each other for the rest of their lives I think they are a low number. Really though 4+4 marriages might be harder than 8+8.. I am not sure about this part. Remember to think about the people holistically, the entire person not just money and looks. A good looking person with lots of money can be a 2 or a 3 and that is hard for a lot of people to understand.
Participant[quote=kev374][quote=Blogstar] NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
[/quote]Are you really sure about that? I know a guy who is literally obese and not good looking at all by any stretch of the imagination. He was a Software Engineer making I would guess at least $150k/yr. He was however he married a smoking hot Asian girl but she makes good money herself – possibly around $80-90k/yr. Yes, it’s true that he wined and dined her to the extreme and he is a BIG spender in that regard.
But how is this even an equal match? He is probably a 2 looks wise, she is probably an 8. And her explanation was that she married him because he was a nice guy and treats her right. So, are you sure that these superficial characteristics like looks and money are what people use to find each other or is there something more deep that connects us together?[/quote]
The sum total doesn’t have to do with looks, I am poking fun at that. So , yes there often is something, or some things more deep, LOL . Maybe the woman is almost as impossible behind closed doors as chubby hubby is kind. Maybe it takes an extremely kind and patient person to deal with her. It could be anything …positives or negatives, innocent and sinister, …they balanced out.Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]Being trim and slightly muscled at 50 is different points wise than at 20.
Complex.
Glad I’m not trying to acquire a house or a woman.[/quote]
Extremely complex. I have a scar in my 6 pack from being stabbed. I should get sympathy points for having been stabbed, but it does lessen the 6 pack value.
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]That’s kind of what I mentioned however you want to define “lowbrow” vs. “highbrow”. It’s often a matter of social economics, but not always.
Kev seems like an up-and-coming professional. He doesn’t need to get dragged down by an emotional ball, from a bad family, who doesn’t have any concept of what is appropriate. He should not even consider engaging in her emotional games.
If you’re an 8, you don’t want to marry a 4. But if you did, the whole becomes a 6. The 4 improved 50% whereas the 8 was dragged down 25%. The relationship clearly was a better return on investment for the 4.
Maybe people should only marry within 1 point.[/quote]
You don’t get it, Brian. I knew you wouldn’t. NO 4 EVER MARRIES AN 8….EVER. No 8 EVER MARRIES A 4.
Lets say a good looking professional guy marries a much better looking but poor Russian girl. He did that so he would have the power…that lowers him 4 points for being a schmuck and the woman is down there for dumping all the sincere poor guys who wanted her back in her country. 4=4
Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]Fair is fair.
Perhaps I can set up a human appraisal business to help spouses see their true number to resolve these matters.[/quote]
That’s a good idea…they need the help, some people are stubborn and can’t figure it out, the divorce rate would go down.
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