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NotCranky
ParticipantMy lazy full time working wife is sleeping now but I am working. I am a security guard…if anyone tries to break into the house I will beat the crap out of them x 7 days a week , that’s a lot of hours.
October 19, 2014 at 10:25 PM in reply to: The dire climate of CA public university admissions for freshmen #779007NotCranky
ParticipantTalked with some people today at a birthday party, both working SDSU students so few classes, classes offered only once a year so they are finding it very rough to work and finish school. They have to dump work to get the classes.
If a student had to retake anything, I guess that can be a huge setback. Of course none of our kids will ever have to retake anything.
NotCranky
ParticipantCar renter the more hours was referring strictly to out of home work, I should have been more clear but I thought going on to talk about domestic work as separate made it clear enough.
As far as how much stay at home people men and women work, I am going to believe my lying eyes not the results of self reporting based studies. I can call taking my kids to soccer practice and the library work, Do you call those things work? do the people in the survey? Paying bills and shopping might be work but the only stress or risk is boredom ….I would rate those at about .25 per hour of any kind of real work at most. Putting kids in child watch at the gym and doing a few exercise classes work? Well yeah because its the spouse fault we need to stay so relaxed and amazing looking. I used myself as and example with some extra bs thrown in there but I could make similar comments about all the sahparents including those homeschooling. I run into lots of them at the gym!
As a SAHD I volunteer in my kid’s classes. In one case I help the teacher with small reading groups about 5 kids. The teacher who is about my age is dealing with 25 something kids all the curriculum, the parents, the volunteers and the administration. She has a real job not me. Has a real job like working people do. MY hour doesn’t count like hers does. Other times I count laps while kids jog….same thing , it’s not the same as a job.
From a work basis what gets done at home is important but very light. There are issues with staying at home to consider like lack of prestige and risk of not being able to get a career on track again and other things but it is a choice and calculated risk for most of us. The fact that you can’t get fired from staying at home or have to deal with other work place problems and risks are factors too.
In no way am I saying you are covering for anything in your own home, I am saying you are biased when you state these imbalances towards women as being norms.
On the whole If there is a difference in work being done, or say important value added, in most households it’s splitting hairs, or over reasonable time it evens out. I don’t take sides over split hairs. UCgal painted the true picture.
NotCranky
ParticipantNot good to criticize women for overplaying the beauty object thing and criticize the ones that you perceive as failing at it at the same time. I have always kind of had sympathy for women who tried to play the beauty is power trip around me. They kind of reminded me of fish on land gasping at the air who really needed to be thrown back in the water.
NotCranky
Participantchecking to see if zillion covers liberia lustings!
Must have been some dream!
NotCranky
ParticipantI was just thinking about this….all the kissy faces and stuff….please just stop it.
NotCranky
ParticipantVery reasonable UCgal.
NotCranky
ParticipantPlenty of women think diamonds are soiled with blood and or don’t want to be tricked into thinking shinny little rocks make any kind of statement about them, their husband , or their marriage.
October 19, 2014 at 7:52 AM in reply to: The dire climate of CA public university admissions for freshmen #778960NotCranky
ParticipantGreat public service post, BG.
How about kids declaring a major and then getting most of it finished and then having a hard time getting the last few classes. How much is that happening.
We know a kid who went through a guaranteed placement from high school into an engineering program. He was apparently kicking butt .Recently I found out that it has been taking him a few years to nail down the last requirements due to lack of classes.
Congrats on your kid doing so well!
NotCranky
Participant[quote=CA renter][quote=scaredyclassic]I know guys who work super hard at home and at work and are seen as basically not team player contributors.
Then post divorce the ex wives can complain of the tribulations of being a single mom while their former husband’s continue to do tons of shit.
Females believe their contributions are denigrated by men and society.
Guys feel the same[/quote]
I’ve seen two couples like this, where the husbands work outside of the home, then come home and help the kids with homework and various activities, do housework, etc…and the wives are not appreciative.
OTOH, I’ve seen far, far more couples where the men only work outside of the home and expect their wives to do almost everything else WRT the house and children, etc. Doesn’t matter how uneven the workload is (when the wives have far more work), the men feel perfectly justified in leaving their responsibilities at the door and living life as if income-earning should be their only contribution to their family’s well-being. How njtosd described her grandfather’s life is very similar to how many men behaved. Is it really any wonder why so many women were miserable in their marriages? Do you honestly not get why they were unhappy and why some might have chosen to “find themselves” after the kids had grown?[/quote]
That’s not is happening by and large. Married men work more hours than married women. Often times the work is more dangerous and physically demanding. Now that we have a broad mix of work /stay at home gender designs What I see is that the person who works less does more domestic stuff than the longer harder working person. If they work similar amounts domestic chores are still usually shared along some pretty traditional gender lines or there is a lot of overlap but it’s not often an unbalanced situation. It has always been that way and always will be.
You just want to make the case that men are worse at being partners for women than the other way around and it’s a crock. But no one ever changes.NotCranky
ParticipantLAME ASS EMOTIONALLY RETARDED SLACKER!
It’s so tempting to get that printed up and stick it on something. Maybe my mini-van? I have to gain pot belly weight to put it on a T-shirt and have it fit.
Vow Redos.
Do you take this Lame Ass Emotionally Retarded Slacker to be your lawfully wedded husband until you get tired of living for other people?NotCranky
ParticipantI think Kev is too smart to”live for other people” for 20 years or more but he hasn’t realized it yet.
NotCranky
ParticipantI am sorry CArenter, A family woman claiming to need escape from being “tired of living for other people” is very much playing the victim. Nobody made her get married to that sperm donor and have babies. OMG. I think people would have to have other reasons, selfish or not, because this excuse is shameful. Better to just say anything else as a reason.
I can’t speak to your wedding vows but “tired of living for other people” isn’t part of most couples agreements.
I do , solemnly swear that unless I get tired of living for other people…blah , blah blah…
NotCranky
Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=Blogstar]I guess I has jumped around reading old comments , CaRenter.
You can label the different bad acts by gender but it doesn’t change the water seeks it’s own level thing. Since you agree with me on the water seeks it’s own level, I find it odd, or perhaps hypocritical that you decidedly favor women on break-ups. I love you like a sister CaRenter,but like my real life sisters you are biased about these things weighing in favor of women. Probably as natural as treating men like they are permanently inadequate once the nest is full but demanding slave like responsibility from them just the same. Men don;’t get what they want and need to the degree that women do under these circumstances and I have not even mentioned sex yet. In this light looking for a newer model makes more sense and does not interfere with water seeks it’s own level or make men or women worse than the other one. It’s complicated.Abandonment is interesting. There are biological forces that apply here too.
The woman knows the kids are hers. The mother in law knows the kids are hers.
Up until a few years ago the man new he had to work with or without kids and often but not always gives child support. Those are cultural aspects.So, I am not saying this stuff is ideal but if you want to look like a broad minded person on this topic and not your basic man hater, you will have to look at this topic more broadly and express your views with a nuance that reflects that you have. But nobody changes the way they are , so carry on.
I think I am going to strut now.
I don’t usually like to stifle people but if you argue back at all you will be proving my point. Back to the aforementioned strutting.[/quote]
Can I just say it is a little funny that you have said (in different words, of course) that unless CA Renter lets you have the last word, she is a man hater? That sounds a little Fred Flintstone to me. And Fred was not a bad guy, of course, but I don’t think most men aspire to be him. He was a “star” though, a word that you’ve included in your screen name (also a little funny), and he also liked to strut, so maybe . . .[/quote]
I didn’t say she was a basic man hater I was saying “if she didn’t want to look like a basic man hater” and she will be proving my point that nobody changes. Yes I am playing with scaredy’s tough guy persona in part and CaRenter probably knows that. We play around a lot here. Wilma was hot.
Bunch of random letters, you need to get off my jockstrap. I require that women point out several awesome things I did or said to every slight negative they might make a peep about. ..or else the should stifle it.
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